Relationships are one of my favorite topics to talk about, mostly because it is one of the most relatable issues out there. An average person has either been in one or had to listen to a friend go on and on about the new man making their heart flutter.
However, despite how sweet and tingly those butterflies feel, moving too fast can nip your fairy tale relationship in the bud before you've had any real chance at forever. After all, research shows that being in love reduces your level of productivity. Thus, the least you can do is make it worth your while. So, before you start picking baby names, see if any of these signs apply to your new relationship.
One sign a relationship is moving fast is how easy it is to get carried away by the whirlwind nature of a new found love; so much that other aspects of your life suffer for it. Wanting to spend a lot of time with someone is normal, to an extent. But if you catch yourself neglecting the important relationships you had before them every now and then, it's probably time to pump the breaks.
I know you want to learn everything there is to know about your new partner, but new relationships shouldn't be at the detriment of your old friendships. This is something you need to nip in the bed. So, if you notice communication with your friends getting greatly reduced or you have canceled one too many hangouts, then that new relationship is probably moving too fast.
Here is another sign a relationship is moving to fast-talking too much in the early days. Trust me, too much of this in new relationships almost never ends well. It's how you get obsessed and reveal all the emotions you are probably not sure about yet. Done right, there will be plenty of time to be together and tell your new partner all about your crazy ex.
Don't get me wrong, the talking stage is crucial because that's how you get the important conversations in. But going at a fast pace and frequently spending hours on dates, texting, and calling this person how you become more attached than you want to be at the beginning of a new flame.
As mentioned at the start, studies have shown that being in love reduces your productivity, especially in the early stages of a relationship. Apparently, all that passion gets your brain in overdrive and every other thing gets shifted to the back. This is something that can't be totally avoided, but you at least want to make sure your level of efficiency is not being reduced for a fling.
So, before you get swept up by the flame, give yourself and your partner a bit of time to figure the feelings out. Love is a beautiful thing, but you want to make sure you don't lose on two ends should the relationship fizzle out faster than you imagined.
Meeting the family is a big step for most people. Personally, I wouldn't introduce a man to mine unless I am absolutely sure he is the one. That your ex walked out because you didn't jump on the serious wagon with them immediately does not mean this one will, sis.
The amount of time you want to wait to be sure may be subjective, but the point remains the same. You should be sure you are both together for sure and you're both serious and in it for the long haul beforehand. You should also feel like it’s the right time before getting him into the family circle.
Hmm, another big step. I know what you're thinking, you've spent too many nights alone in your big bed. Now that this beautiful human has come along, why would you want to continue that way when you can have unfettered access to them all day long, right? And you've tested the waters with a couple of sleepovers that turned out great.
Sorry to burst your bubbles, but if you are already thinking this way 3 – 6 months in, then that relationship is certainly moving too fast. Experts recommend a timeline of at least one year before considering big decisions like permanently sharing your physical space with beau.
A common error in this modern era is mistaking great sex for love. Getting it on in itself is not an issue, it's the attachment that comes with romps that can be misleading. It is easy to assume you complete each other because of how synced you are with your partner in bed. Nevertheless, don't go building castles in the air just yet until you both define the relationship as serious.
If all you two ever do when you get together is get physical, chances are things are moving too quickly to pay attention to the other important stuff. So pace it, and make sure chemistry isn't the only course you two are taking.
Once you've found the right one, why wait, right? While there is some merit to the logic, it will still do you a whole lot of good to let things take their natural course. It takes two to tango, or so they say. No matter how much they say they like you or vice-versa, always remember that this person is a whole other human being with their own plans.
You may find yourself planning a marriage or moving to their city when all they want is to "live in the moment and see how things go." So instead of moving things around in your head in a hurry, wait till you two, at least, arrive on the same page.
If something seems off about you, it is only natural that the people closest to you notice first. You may not see anything wrong because your judgment might have understandably been clouded, but if your close friends or relatives keep complaining about you or someone you are seeing, then it’s way better to take things slow.
Their concerns may turn out to be non-issues as time goes on but it is better to be safe than sorry. For instance, if your new partner likes to be spontaneous, you should probably get to know them for more than a couple of dates before hopping on a plane across the world together.
If you're like me, then you have had a couple of relationships you were 'sure' was the one, and with this assurance came investment. You throw your all into it, hoping that it works out, but it didn't. Now that it's over and a new one has come along, you want to maintain the same energy, so you give him all your love. I'm all for going with the vibe as well, but smothering your partner with all that love too soon could be counterproductive.
Many relationships that turn out to be abusive don't always start out that way. In fact, some abusive partners could seem like the sweetest person on earth, until they aren't. Though there is no foolproof timeline for identifying an abuser, giving yourself enough time to study your partner is a safer play than rushing into things because you are in love.
If you catch yourself overlooking toxic traits because you don't want to lose this person, then it is in your best interest to pace yourself and get your objectivity back.
There is no straight answer to this, it depends on what you want from the relationship. While going with the waves isn't necessarily a bad idea for a fling, it usually doesn't bode well for a long-term relationship. So if you're trying to build something that lasts, moving too fast is not in your best interest.
Communication is key to the success of any relationship. Odds are your partner has no idea they are going too fast and will continue to do so unless you bring their attention to it. Therefore, develop the habit of communicating your concerns to them.
Moving too fast means different things to different people. Generally, it means things are moving at an uncomfortably fast speed for one of the people involved in the relationship. It could be as straightforward as how early the couple starts having sex or a bit more intricate like when they begin cohabiting.
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Boundaries! Express your concerns clearly, and let him know you are not comfortable with the pace he is setting for the relationship. If, after doing all that, he still doesn't change his way of doing things or seem to respect your opinion every occasion you discuss this topic, then you probably shouldn't be with him in the first place.
If a girl tells someone they are moving too fast, it's probably because she really likes that guy and doesn't want the relationship to fizzle out too soon. So have a candid conversation about what you're doing that she's probably not ready for yet.
If you know someone whose relationship is moving fast and you feel like it’s something they will enjoy reading, feel free to send it their way. Also, let me know what you think in the comments and share the article if you liked it.
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