Moving In Together (15 Vital Things To Consider)

by April Maccario

Hurray! he finally asked you to move in with him. That’s very encouraging in an early relationship. In most cases, this means that he really likes you and can see himself building a future with you. 

Moving in together is a huge step and needs to be handled carefully, every wise person knows that after the initial excitement, some real issues need to be thought out, and some planning needs to be done.

There are things you may have to come to terms with before and even after you move in. While you enjoy the initial thrill of this new proposal, let's take a moment to explore the issues and concerns, which need to be considered before leaping into a new home with the love of your life.

15 Things To Consider Before Moving In With Him

1. Is He In This For The Right Reasons?

There are several reasons your partner may have asked to share a home with you, he may feel that it was just the right step to take in the direction of a future with you. Nevertheless, you should never rush into this without being sure that it's for the right reasons. 

Asking you to move in for selfish reasons such as being able to share his monthly expenses, is unacceptable. If you suspect in any way that he wants you to move in for unhealthy reasons, please carefully take a step back and decline, there’s really no rush.

2. Consider Having A Trial Period 

It's normal and very common, especially with women, to get caught up in the excitement of moving in together. We tend to be a bit more emotional than logical, having a short trial period could be an eye-opener, a trial period would give you and your partner an opportunity to evaluate your different living patterns, to determine if you are compatible ‘cohabitors’ or not. 

Trial periods usually involve living together either at his place or yours for approximately two weeks to a month. Vacations do not count as trial periods, as the aim of this is to mimic a real-life scenario. This period will help determine if you’re ready to start living together, and when to move in together as well.

3. Deciding Where To Move 

deciding where to move

After proper mental preparation on your part and on his, the next thing to consider is where you’re moving into. You may feel like your place is better, while your partner thinks his place would be the better option. 

Some other factors to consider are; what neighborhoods you’d prefer to live in when you move in together, or the distance from the apartment to your workplace, gym, or even your favorite coffee shop. There's usually a lot of compromises involved when making these decisions, so don’t panic if you guys have a few arguments here and there, just make sure you are not settling in the end.

4. The Budget

Discussing your finances is a must-do when it comes to moving in together, you’ll both be spending a lot of time together, and using up more resources together. If you’re sure that you’re ready to take this next step in your life, you may have to adjust to talking about your finances. 

First of all, you both need to agree on the amount each person is willing to spend on rent and bills for each month. Plus, your partner may have to know how much you’ll be contributing each month and vice versa. 

Also, drawing out a monthly budget for other living expenses like food and other groceries is advised. Remember, communication is key! You can use this easy budget sample as a template to get started.

5. Sort Through All Your Belongings 

Moving is always a good opportunity to sort out the useful and useless things in your life. Most times you’d discover loads of stuff that you haven’t used in ages and would probably never use. Making ‘donate’, ‘discard’ and ‘keep’ piles would make this way easier for you. 

You also need to consider that your partner may have some of the same items you own, for example, a blender or a vacuum cleaner. In this case, you could opt to give yours away or put them out for sale. For larger items like sofas or tables, you may need to put them in a storage unit or sell them out.

6. Décor 

decor

If there’s one thing you’d both have problems agreeing on, it would be deciding on the interior decor for your new home. Sharing a few stuff in common like favorite foods and movies does not guarantee similar tastes in furnishings. You may like warm colors and a room full of cozy cushions while he prefers a more minimalist setting. 

These differences could drive you crazy if you let them, don’t give in to unnecessary squabbles. Try as much as possible to compromise as many times as the issues come.

 7. Find A Trustworthy Moving And Storage Company

Moving is not at the top of most people’s lists, and this is understandable. Valuables could be misplaced or damaged, you have to deal with packing up your stuff and then unpacking again at the final destination, it's a tedious business really! 

Some of your belongings, like a washing machine, for example, may not fit into your new place. Hiring a trustworthy and high-rated moving and storage company could help make this easier for you. 

8. Set Up A Plan And Budget For Shared Expenses

Financial discussions and planning cannot be stressed enough in relationships. Finances are statistically one of the most fought over topics between couples today. Disagreements and unnecessary fights could be completely avoided if plans are laid out before you both move in together.

If you both know what you want, don’t let people dictate how you’ll run your home. Deciding how much should be spent on food each month, on shared essentials like tissue paper and toothpaste, pet food and medication (if this applies to you), or other perishables should be done even before moving in and not afterward.

9. Chores

Maybe good hygiene is a big deal to both of you and your significant other. Now that you have both decided to live together, cleaning up and keeping the house neat is a shared responsibility. Life would be way easier for both of you if there was some kind of prepared agreement (either written or verbal) on who needs to do what. 

This is specific to each couple, for some, a roster or schedule would be more helpful and would ensure that both you and your partner equally handle cleaning and arranging. On the other hand, some couples just need to verbally agree on whose duty it is to handle the dishes or take out the trash. 

Whatever category you and your partner fall into, it's best to use a method that suits you both. 

10. Your Own Little Corner

your own little corner

Being a couple and living in the same space doesn't necessarily mean merging every second of your lives. You’ll already be spending a lot of time together, and you may want to have a little time away from people. In fact, alone time is quite healthy for relationships, because it gives each person the space to have a personality outside of the relationship.

Take one day or at least some hours in a space both of you know is personal, from time to time, you’re each going to need your alone time. Let him know that’s it’s nothing personal, cause these matters could be tricky sometimes. 

An easy way to approach this is to establish it from the beginning, as soon as you settle in, set aside a corner or space that each person can call their own. If your home happens to be too small for this then it’s advisable that each of you have some outdoor activities that you can solely enjoy from time to time.

11. Get Rid Of Some Habits That May Make Him Uncomfortable

Living alone comes with its own little perks. When you live alone, you can do whatever you want, whenever you want, as long as it does not affect your neighbors. Having this freedom could easily cause you to slip into some bad and annoying habits. When people live in the same space what may seem like a minor issue in a normal situation, tends to be amplified.

Some habits aren’t even negative on their own but may rub on him the wrong way depending on his personality. He may know you mean no harm, but if you love him, you’d watch to see what agitates him and make appropriate changes. You’d also be bold enough to speak up if something your partner is doing bothers you too. 

12. To Cook Or Not To Cook

This question is as complicated as the thought on how soon is too soon to move in with one another. You both are going to need to eat breakfast lunch or dinner at some point during your stay together. Many people don’t know how to cook, and if you’re in this category, then there must be an agreement with your partner on who will cook after moving in together. 

If you're one of the lucky women dating a chef, or if you’re with a food enthusiast who just loves to get creative in the kitchen, then you have nothing to worry about. However, there’s a fat chance that you’re amongst the ‘not-so-lucky’ majority who are stuck with partners whose only cooking skill is making a bowl of cereal.

Whatever the case may be, you could either budget to order take-out every single day, learn how to cook one or two dishes, or allow the best cook to handle the cooking. 

13. The Battlefield 

the battlefield

It is naive to believe that you and your mister would never have a fight once you’ve successfully moved in together. This could not be further from the truth, fights are normal between couples even when they live apart, moving in together increases the chances of having more fights. 

It's very important to prepare your mind for these times and make a decision, to handle disagreements as maturely and reasonably as possible. Before, when you just used to come over for visits, it was easier to leave when there’s a disagreement. However, after moving in together, the stakes are a bit different. 

14. Your Flaws Will Be Out In The Open

They don’t call moving in together a big step for nothing. When you finally make this decision, you have to understand that there will be a shift in your relationship. During this period, you each will notice each other's flaws more vividly. 

They’ll just keep unfolding as time goes on and as you each begin to loosen up around each other. This isn’t always negative, it could be positive in the sense that it gives you an opportunity to love each other more unconditionally. 

15. You May Become A Couch Potato 

Remember your single girl days when you and your crew would paint the city red every Friday night?! Well, you may be saying goodbye to those wild days. This is quite justifiable because your motivation to get up off your couch or your bed is probably lying right beside you.

When you share a home with your favorite person you’d find that you have less drive to leave the house unless you’re doing so with him. Ordering in and curling up to watch Netflix would most likely become one of your go-to Friday night activities. There’s nothing wrong with this new development, just try your best to keep your relationships balanced.

FAQs 

How long should you wait to move in together?

It's hard to determine a specific time period that suits everyone. Although, a 2015 study proved that most couples move in after six months to a year of dating. The best thing to do is to avoid the pressure of reaching other people's ‘relationship goals’. Be sure that you both are fully ready.

Is it too soon to move in together after 3 months?

It is normal to always want to be around the person you love, but there’s really no need to rush. Take the time to properly get to know each other, while still enjoying your own personal space. Wait to see if the relationship has any hope of lasting before you make any commitments.

Is moving in together a good idea?

It is true that there are benefits to living together a few months into your relationship, it has its own little perks. However, statistically speaking more couples who lived together before tying the knot reported less blissful marriages. It is advisable to carefully and patiently think and plan before making this decision.

What should you discuss before moving in together?

There are countless things that need to be discussed before you decide to move in with your boyfriend or fiance. The most important thing to discuss is your budget and how much each person needs to contribute. Another important thing to discuss is housekeeping and how to split household chores.

Is moving in together a big step?

Moving in together is definitely a big step in a relationship. For most couples, it signifies that both parties are in it for the long term. This may not be the same for everyone, that’s why it's important to discuss everything with each other before moving in, to ensure you’re both on the same page.

In Conclusion

We hope this article was helpful to you, remember, when it comes to important steps in your relationship, do not be pressured to make hasty decisions. Take the time to think things through before you commit. If you found this helpful please leave your comments down below and be sure to share with friends.

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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