21 Things To Know About Marrying Your First Love

by April Maccario

Marrying your first love sounds like something out of a fairytale. To most, it sounds like a thing of the past. 

My great aunt married her high school sweetheart. The first man that she loved. Then, they had a child together and were married until the day that he passed away. It was a heartwarming story full of romance. This is what a lot of individuals wish that they had. 

On the other hand, there are plenty of us that are appalled at the idea of marrying the first person that we love. Some that have married their high school sweetheart feel like they missed out on discovering who they are and what they like in a relationship, which is something we learn throughout turbulent relationships in our 20’s. 

There are pros and cons to both situations, and some things to keep in mind if you’re wishing you would have married your first partner. 

Pros And Cons Of Marrying Your First Love

There are quite a few benefits to discovering that your first partner is also your soul mate. On the other hand, there are some downsides to watch out for. 

1. You know them like the back of your hand

When you’ve known someone long enough for them to be your first love, you know them so well inside and out that it takes the guesswork out of the relationship. You won’t have to figure out what makes them happy or what hurts their feelings. 

2. You fall in love first

So many that are in the dating scene are in a rush to get to the altar that they wind up not falling in love before saying I do. In this situation, you get first love then marriage, as it should be. 

3. You feel like you’re missing out

When you’ve only had sex with one person or been with one person since your teenage years, you can feel like you’re missing out on the fun other people are having. Remember, sometimes it just looks like they’re having the time of their life though. You get to dip on the entire dating scene, which isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. 

4. Less trauma

less trauma

When you’re thirty, everyone comes with some type of trauma from a previous relationship. Whether it’s abuse, lack of trust, or just low self-esteem, there seems to be something. Not for you though! You settle down and get to avoid all the trauma guys will throw your way, and you don’t wind up as traumatized yourself as a result. 

5. Everything is more special

Everything's better with your first love. Those feelings never seem to fade away in the future, and when you get to spend the rest of your life in a relationship with the one guy you truly love, you get to enjoy every special moment with them by your side. Even date nights will be more fun in these relationships. 

6. It can be harder to recognize an unhealthy relationship

When you got married, everything was probably still perfect. Over time, however, life can change people. You, however, might not notice a red flag waving right in front of your face because this is the only relationship you’ve ever known. What might seem normal to you could be unhealthy, and it can be hard to recognize that when you don’t have experience in the dating department. 

7. No dating to marry

It’s not always fun. The food is usually better than the men at this stage. You, however, will never have to deal with trying to find a husband later in life. 

8. It’s harder to leave

It can also be hard to leave the only relationship that you’ve ever known. 

9. Less chance of dealing with a crazy ex

If you’re also their first love, there are no crazy exes to stalk either of you, threaten either of you, or try to break you guys up. It can lead to a lot of peace in your relationship that other relationships don’t have. 

10. You don’t really know if they’re bad in bed

If it’s the first person you’ve slept with, and you’re never going to be with another person, you can never realize that you have a horrible sex life. You could miss out on mind-blowing orgasms. 

11. No baby mommas, ex-wives, or stepkids

They all start drama even more than a crazy ex will. Just be grateful you won’t have to deal with them like other relationships do. 

12. You go through ups and downs with the same person

you go through ups and downs with the same person

If you started dating when you were younger, you see a lot of the good and bad about the world together. That one guy is in all your photographs, from high school proms to seeing the world. It can be nice having that one special relationship for every special moment. 

13. No more dating weird guys

The dating world is full of frogs, but you won’t have to deal with that. You won’t go on one date with a guy that tries to sleep with you before the appetizer arrives. Trust me, that’s a blessing. 

14. You never live by yourself

We learn a lot about ourselves when we live by ourselves. We discover interests and hobbies we didn’t know we had. If you don’t have that, you can miss out on that one hobby you might have loved. 

15. You grow differently

You grow differently when you’re by yourself. When you’re in between relationships, you explore yourself, what you like and don’t like. You also grow from each of your relationships. When you’re only in one, you don’t learn a thing or two like you would if you weren’t. It’s not necessarily bad, just different. 

16. You have more faith in your relationship

When you always have that one guy, you can rest easy at night knowing that you two can survive everything together. 

17. You can’t help people going through a breakup because you don’t know what it’s like

Being genuinely helpful often comes from experience, and you won’t have that like other people will. 

18. You miss out on experiences

Not just the various sex partner, but also the one thing you always wanted to do but can’t, like traveling the world solo. There are certain things you can’t do with someone always right by your side. 

19. You become an inspiration for other people that want to find love

I Facebook stalked a couple that fell in love when we were all teenagers, are married with children and are still living happily ever after to show my daughter that it still happens. Enough said. 

20. You don’t marry with the same confidence

When you’ve kissed enough frogs, you can be confident with what you want in a partner. Not so much when you’ve only had a single partner. I want to marry someone I’m confident will be a great partner for life, and the guy I met when I was 16 was not that. I’m glad I didn’t walk down that aisle. 

21. You might be comfortable

you might be comfortable

When you are with someone you get comfortable. Are you marrying them because you’re still head over heels in love, or because you are comfortable with them? It’s a real question that people should ask themselves to avoid marriage for the wrong reasons. 

FAQs

What are the odds of marrying your first love?

How many people marry their first love? According to one study, you have a 25% chance. However, it should be noted that this statistic was based on what women say, and those first loves weren’t always high school sweethearts. Only 2% of those relationships began in high school. 

Do you ever marry your first love?

Yes! While the chances are significantly less for him becoming your husband, they are still there. Most couples go into this special union with no regrets, and they are able to work through issues together. 

Is it OK to marry your first boyfriend?

Yes! While it might not be the same as what everyone else has going on, there can be something special about sharing emotions and moments with a single person. You’ll have a lifetime of memories together, and be able to share stories about each other when they were younger with your kids. 

Can first love last forever?

It definitely can! Once someone is in your heart, they can stay there forever. Sometimes, that connection never fades away. Instead, you’ll never experience heartbreak like your friends, and will always have butterflies in your stomach when you see them. Sometimes, that feeling stays with you. 

Is marrying for love a bad idea?

No! When you marry for love, you can withstand the changes that the world will throw at you. You won’t have to worry about other factors, like what to do if they suddenly aren’t wealthy anymore. Instead, you’ll be happier. This is one of the best options that you can have. 

In Conclusion

Marrying your first love seems like a far-off notion from the past, but it still happens frequently. Do you have a friend or family member that married their first love? What would you tell people that want the same thing?

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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