Married Too Young (11 Factors To Consider When Marrying Young)

by April Maccario

Choosing a life partner is a big deal that comes with many risks, yet has numerous rewards too. Getting married too young has even greater risks which can either lead to immense benefits or the downfall of the marriage. 

Finding the best partner that will compliment you is a tough job on its own. However, marrying that partner at a very young age is even more daunting

Most youths want to enjoy and explore rather than settle down and start having babies. Younger men and women fear the responsibilities that come with being a parent and so, they usually don’t want to get married too early. 

A concerning percentage of couples that get married too early are more likely to end up getting divorced, especially if they don’t put some factors into consideration

Are you thinking about getting married? Are people saying it’s too early? Do you feel like life with this person is all you’ve ever hoped for? This article will address those factors you should consider if you want your relationship to work. 

11 Factors To Consider When Marrying Young

1. Your love must include mutual respect 

your love must include mutual respect

Respect is a crucial part of every relationship. It doesn’t matter how old the couples are. It is not easy to live with someone who doesn’t respect you or someone you don’t respect in return. 

When you want to choose a life partner, it should be someone who will respect you in all the ways that matter. He must be willing to include you in important decisions and respect your opinions before settling for a choice that concerns both of you. Maturity lies in both parties’ ability to show due respect in every situation. 

When there is a lack of respect, there will be constant conflict in your marriage. Issues from gender roles, to behavioral differences or why the light should stay on in the night! You should be able to meet each other halfway regarding various choiceS despite your differences. 

2. You must have similar values

Getting married is like cohabiting with someone but for an indefinite period of time. If you make the mistake of getting married to a man who believes in principles and values that are far apart from what you’ve built your life on, you will have serious issues when you finally get married. 

People feel like age is an excuse for failed relationships, well then middle-aged couples shouldn’t get divorced. It’s not an excuse, both women and men should have core principles and values that direct their life. It’s when people are reluctant to set down rules, be disciplined or compromise that living life together gets tougher. If you live by spontaneous rules and have no laid down values that help you meet set goals, your relationship will be without depth.

3. Are you both willing to make the marriage work?

If you can answer this question, you will know if you’re ready to marry now or not. Marriage, just like the dating period, requires both of you to be intentional. Life will get tougher, then what? Kids will come along, are you ready for that responsibility? 

I know women who got married and were so eager to make things work, but after a few months in, they felt drained, overwhelmed, and confused. So ask yourself if you’re ready to still intentionally love, cherish and respect your partner even when he is the last person you want to see. 

Can you live beyond the honeymoon stage and still ‘love and hold?’ Marriage is a symbiotic relationship that requires that both parties contribute daily to the success of such a relationship. 

4. Is honesty the bedrock of your relationship?

If you are in for the long haul, honesty is non-negotiable. Without honesty and deep-rooted trust, your marriage will crumble. You will have lots of distractions in life and discouragement from people who think you are not old enough to get married, but the honesty between you and your partner is what matters. 

Do you trust your partner enough to let him know what you are ready for and what you would like to hold on a bit longer before doing? If you would like to start having children at 25 instead of at 20 when you will be tying the knot, it’s best to let your fiancé know rather than using birth control pills behind his back.

Couples who got married young and had honesty as the basis of their marriage ended up enjoying their marriages despite starting very early. A relationship without trust issues or one that was able to resolve such issues early on will most likely do better than the ones with trust issues. Open communication is a crucial aspect ofbuilding honesty in any marriage.

5. Does he care deeply for you?

does he care deeply for you

Many people find it easy to proclaim love but in reality, what they feel for you is at the surface level. In these gestures, words, and unexpected actions, you will know a man who cares deeply for you. 

Also, love and care can be two different things because some people’s definition of love differs from what you may see it as. Your husband-to-be must be seriously invested in all that concerns you. Before rushing to marry, observe how much your man cares for you. Can he go the extra mile for you? Is he someone you can do the same thing for? 

The caring has to be something you can reciprocate, else, there won’t be a balance in your marriage. Your marriage is a long-term relationship and care will keep you going when the rush of love starts to fade. Will he support your dreams and aspirations? Will he give you the kind of push you need? If he can do these things, getting married young is an amazing decision. 

6. How does he view your family members? 

It is common for young couples to want to maintain a tight-knit relationship without any interference from family or friends. While this is well and good, your family is an important part of your life and your husband should be able to treat them as his own family too. 

If you marry someone not willing to accommodate your family, you won’t have the best marriage. Some people got married, but their families hated each other, and that put a strain on their marriage. Except you are estranged from your family, there should be no reason your husband would keep you away from them. 

Also, what you can’t see in your prospective husband, your family will see and inform you. A life partner that won’t encourage you socializing with your family is most likely a questionable choice.

7. How intellectual is your man?

Intellect is not just in terms of formal education, rather it includes how street smart and emotionally intelligent he is. If he is book-smart but lacks what it takes to take care of you emotionally and physically, there is a problem.

If you can’t have mature and intellectual conversations with him or discuss your serious plans, you might be marrying the wrong person.

If your partner is the complacent type unwilling to take charge in every way, including intellectually, he isn’t ready to be married. If he is to improve on making better decisions and thinking smarter, it means he is willing to make efforts and let your relationship work. 

If you are the type of woman who wants to get things done the right way, at the right time, you need to choose a husband who will match your enthusiasm for excellence, regardless of age.

8. Become great friends first

The mistake most couples make is going straight to a romantic relationship when they haven’t become friends first. Friendship has a whole lot of benefits people don’t explore before taking their relationship further. 

Before accepting to become a Mrs. to a man, be his friend first in order to know the kind of person he is and what he is capable of doing. Friendship allows both parties to care for each other without any serious expectations. If you skip the friendship part, you will struggle to do so in marriage. 

It is true that it takes a lifetime to understand a fraction of a person, but it is better if you have an idea of who they are before committing to a serious relationship. In the matter of getting married too young, if you have known your partner for a long while, it is easier to take the relationship to the next level compared to people who hardly know each other. 

9. How does he handle situations?

Understanding both of your personalities matters so much because personality traits help you know how to act and react. If you’re the type of person who takes time to take offense and your partner is the kind of person who flares up at every little chance, you both will have problems if you don’t address the differences in personalities before marriage. 

You should definitely take time to discuss what sets the other person off and how to come back from every disagreement without destroying your marriage. Young people are especially hot-blooded and full of vigor and are quick to escalate issues. 

Understanding your man and having him understand you is one of the major factors you should take seriously if you don’t want to become one of the statistics of divorced couples. Go for counseling sessions if necessary, just ensure you address the elephant in the room so it doesn’t blow up in your face.

10. Discuss forgiveness 

discuss forgiveness

This particular factor might seem like something that shouldn’t be discussed in advance but it is actually a dire topic you should lay out before your man before tying the knot. It is inevitable that either of you will offend the other but how easily can you both forgive and move on to becoming happy and productive again? 

Discuss the forgiveness and how both of you will makeup after each disagreement, take courses on forgiveness and consistently practice the process during courtship.

11. Are your finances in order?

If every other part of your marriage plans are set and you don’t discuss finances, you’re bound to crash, especially if either you or your fiancé cannot afford to get married on what you earn or own. 

Love is not about money but if you want to live a comfortable life, you need to have your finances in good order so you don’t struggle with achieving your life goals. 

It is imperative that you put your finances in good order before planning the wedding ceremony. Also, if your financial situation is a little above average and you can go on with the ceremony, be sure to plan a simple wedding that will leave you with something tangible to live on when you start living together as a couple.

FAQs 

What age is too young to marry?

Anything below 18 is illegal in many countries. Consenting adults are from 18 years upwards because they have the right to start making serious decisions from that age. Once you can’t be tried for a crime as an adult, you are not old enough to handle responsibility as serious as a marriage.

Is marrying at 18 too young?

Marrying at 18 may or may not be too early depending on the country you are from and your level of readiness. Many people would consider 18 as the beginning of adulthood and getting married may work out for some, but not for others.

Is it bad to marry at a young age?

It is not bad to get married young as long as both young people consensually agree that’s what they want.  Getting married young is actually good for people who love balance, family life and are mature enough to understand what it takes to build and maintain a marriage without losing your personal identity. 

Is marrying at 25 too young?

Women and men who marry at this age may have their life in check; a stable job, a good home, and other important values like love, communication, trust, and patience. Some young marriages even turn out better than those of people who waited because it’s more about the stability, values, and commitment of each partner and not their age. 

Why do I regret marrying young?

Some young men feel entitled to getting pampered and taken care of without lifting a finger due to gender roles as specified by society. Some young women who got married young also didn’t have a clear direction and ended up feeding this entitlement syndrome in their men. Some people have regretted getting married young, maybe they feel they cut their life short, took on too much responsibility, or didn't have enough fun. At the end of the day, it’s the quality of the relationship over time that would cause regrets.

In Conclusion 

Getting married early is not the same thing as marrying quickly or too soon. With the right understanding and the tips shared in this article,  young couples can build a strong and long-standing marriage. 

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April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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