How many frogs do I have to kiss before I find my prince? Yes, this sounds like a pretty funny question, but many people today are asking it, just not in those same words.
Here’s the thing, we go-ahead to date someone in hopes that they would be ‘the one’. But later on, their character proves us wrong, then we have to start all over again.
However, what if there was a way to tell the Prince from the frog? What if there are certain qualities a serious-minded man that’s in it for the long haul possesses? Well, there’s only one way to find out, keep reading this article.
So you think you're dating ‘the one’? The question is, does he do things that suggest he’s making an effort to be more present? If yes, then that may be a good sign. A man that is serious about marriage and commitment with a woman he loves will integrate her into his way of life or schedule no matter how busy he is.
Marriage therapist, Nichole Richardson emphasizes the importance of a man that involves you in his daily plans. When he involves you in his day-to-day activities, there will be a pronoun change. He will more likely use plural nouns like ‘we’, ‘us’ rather than ‘I’ or ‘me’. He will carry you along and make you feel like an active part of his life.
A man that listens to you simply gives you undivided attention when you are talking, be it significant or insignificant issues. He values your opinions and views, so he listens to you anyways, no matter how foolish or silly you think the conversation is.
Rest assured in a relationship that when your man listens, the following will result from it: effective communication, better understanding, togetherness, appreciation, and it can also be a sign of respect. Listening is an important part of a relationship, and lack of it shows toxicity.
A man who is not willing to listen will insist you did not communicate properly, even though you feel you’re always repeating yourself when both of you have a conversation. If this is the case in that relationship you are in, drop that man, he is not marriage material.
We are all selfish to an extent, but if you are dating a man that always puts himself first and only cares about himself, he’s likely very selfish. You don’t need to share the rest of your life with someone that is not willing to compromise or accommodate your views and ideas.
Forever is too long to deal with a man that is always talking about himself. All he cares about is his feelings even when you are going through a tough time.
He may show concern once in a while, but it won’t be long before the conversation drifts to him. Has this happened before? Because this is one of the things that’s a big no-no when it comes to marriage.
If a man is unwilling to work or use his energy, best believe it will spread to every aspect of his life. I’m talking about finances, friendships, achievements, and more. So, if a man is lazy, it is best to avoid him. You need a man willing to meet you halfway in terms of relationship fundamentals.
You need someone that is willing to do the heavy lifting as much as you do. You require a man that says he loves you and works actively towards showing exactly what this means to you. You need a man that shows up and puts in the work to be better today than he was yesterday.
Repeat after me, “A man that is not intentional about me, is dysfunctional for me”. Being in a relationship with an intentional man is like building a solid foundation around the both of you that will equip you for what’s ahead. So when the storms hit, everything does not crumble around you.
If you are not in a relationship with one, you will probably think this type of man doesn't exist while what you should actually do is not settle for less. There are men that are willing to be as intentional towards you just as you are towards them and these men are keepers. They have the material that makes them eligible for marriage.
A man that is kind to not just you, but everyone around him is a keeper. You don’t need a man that acts as if he is better than everyone and is the best thing since the invention of toast bread. You need a man that genuinely wants to make your life better not because it makes him feel good about himself, but because he wants you to feel better, or he enjoys making you happy.
Now, don’t confuse this with nice guys. Nice guys always make promises that they can not keep and come with great excuses as to why they cannot keep the promise. Kind guys only make promises they can keep. They would rather not make the promise than give you false hope. If your man is kind, then, by all means, marry him.
It is important to marry a man that respects you as a person. If he respects you, your opinion counts to him. Plus, he will think of the consequences of his actions before doing them.
If he respects you, he won’t put you or leave you in a compromising situation. He won’t tolerate friends or maintain relationships that threaten you. Am I communicating? Respect is huge, and if you are not getting the respect you deserve in a relationship, then there’s no point remaining in it or considering taking it to the next level.
Sex is important in a relationship. It’s one thing people get too embarrassed to talk about, but it’s an essential part of marriage. I’ve seen people cheat just because they weren’t satisfied with their partner.
The good thing is that a matter like this can be talked about. If both of you put in the commitment and discipline and choose to do everything in your power to improve the quality and experience, then you’re one step closer to getting it right.
A man that genuinely loves you, says it (because you don’t have superpowers to read people's minds) and shows it in his actions. We show love and expect to be shown love differently. So I’m thinking if you are considering someone to be marriage material, they already know you and your love language, and they speak your specific love language fluently.
This aspect is important because some people hope that after some time, they’ll grow to love each other. And probably with a lot of discipline and determination, this can work out, it’s better if you know he loves you before you say, “I do.”
A partner with a great sense of humor is proper marriage material. You would need someone who knows how to put a smile on your face when you are having a bad day or when things are tough. This trait wouldn’t just make situations a little more bearable, it would radiate light into your relationship.
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Humor does not solve problems all the time, but it is an attractive trait that can at least take your mind off the issue.
A man that is marriage material could mention that he is ready for a serious relationship, but that’s not where the conversation should end, does he desire that with you? Don’t get excited over the fact that this guy seems level-headed and open to the idea of marriage.
It’s one thing to say he’s ready to commit, and another for him to genuinely admit his desire to get married to you.
We all have boundaries, in fact, I see them as a form of markers or barriers to not overextend oneself. So, if you are in a relationship, and your partner keeps including you in things he likes doing without giving you the opportunity to choose if you are interested, then that’s a toxic man. A man that does not respect boundaries won’t let you get your own things done.
If he understands and recognizes your physical, emotional tolerance or limits, then he respects your boundaries. He understands the things that make you uncomfortable and does not do them, it is that simple.
People with high self-esteem just know how to treat others right, and are usually happier and more positive. You need that energy around you if you are thinking about forever with a partner. You need someone you can always trust to return your positive energy back to you.
If you want a life partner or a man with good self-esteem. No doubt, we all have personal problems to deal with, but some men have better self-esteem than others.
You don’t want a man that depends on you solely for everything. It is a disservice to yourself. You are not his mother, and even children stop depending on their parents once the time is right. It may end up draining you mentally and sucking away your energy.
You need to choose a partner that is comfortable making decisions and standing by them no matter the consequence. You also need to know that your potential life partner can make decisions that will suit you both even in your absence.
In relationships, conflicts help us grow and become stronger. But a man that cannot face a few controversies is questionable. Your partner should be able to deal with conflict by separating it from the relationship and deal with it like a barrier standing in the way of both of you moving forward together.
A good man that’s ready for marriage will never be missing in action. He will never stonewall you and get shady with you. Nothing justifies this act. So if he does this in an attempt to get away from uncomfortable conversations or escape emotional conversations that will end in a fight, then that’s a bad sign.
If he does so just to manipulate you or in an attempt to maneuver the power dynamics, just let him go, cause he won’t change after the marriage.
If he is already missing in action at the dating phase, why are you considering marriage with him? Gottman, calls stonewalling one of the ‘four horsemen’ that indicate the likelihood of divorce. So flee from him, don’t marry him.
I can assure you that you are not being vain, shallow, or materialistic if you refuse to marry a man simply because of his looks. If he looks good and acts right, that’s a plus for you. If he acts right but doesn’t fall under the category of who you think looks good, and his behaviors cannot compensate for his looks, then let him go.
It may seem rational at first, but if you get married to someone you think doesn’t look good, it may cause problems in the future. You need to be confident about your decision to marry this man, anything less than that could lead to dissatisfaction, resentment, and infidelity.
Marriage material is a set of character traits exhibited by a potential partner that indicates or points out that they are suitable or compatible enough to marry.
If he is marriage material, he will be intentional about you and all that pertains to you. He will actively choose you and make plans and arrangements that make you happy.
Men desire women that can stand on their own and not depend on them solely. Men want a woman that is not afraid to make decisions and stand by the consequences. They see the fire of independence in her eyes and love her for it.
There are four types of marriage and they include monogamy, polygamy, polyamory, and group weddings. All of which have subtypes.
There is a type for everyone, so, if you are a loner, don’t be afraid, your own person will find you and nature will always bring you closer to each other.
I hope you liked the article as much as I enjoyed writing it. Always remember that men are not the prize, you are. Don’t settle, and ensure that he is totally intentional and genuinely loves you through his words and actions. Let me know what you think in the comment section and don’t forget to share this if you liked the article.
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