7 Signs That It Is Just Lust, Not Love (Truth)

by April Maccario

Perhaps you have met someone that you like or you have been dating for a while but you are wondering whether it may be lust, not love. You may really like this guy and be really attracted to him but this might just be lust and not love. Just because you like someone or find him attractive it does not mean that it is love. 

How Do You Know If It Is Lust And Not Love?

While there is nothing wrong with dating someone that you lust for rather than love, but it is important, to be honest with yourself and to know what to expect. Keep reading to find out the signs that it is just lust rather than love. 

Here are the signs that it is lust rather than love...

1. You’re Always Trying To Impress Him

1. You’re Always Trying To Impress Him

If you are always trying to impress him by always looking your best then it may be just lust. If you always make sure that your hair is perfect, your nails are done and you spend time making sure that your makeup is just right, this is a sign that you may not yet be in love. 

These are the signs of a relationship that is based on lust and superficiality rather than on love. If you really love and care about someone, you likely don’t care too much about each other’s outward appearance. If your appearance is the most important thing to him, then he likely is only lusting over you. 

2. You Avoid Important Conversations

If you are really in love with someone then you probably will have had a lot of meaningful conversations in order to really get to know each other. If your relationship is based on lust rather than love it is likely that you will both try to avoid these conversations.

Meaningful, loving relationships are based on communication but if it is just desire rather than love it is likely that you haven’t had any such conversations. In a loving relationship, you feel comfortable to talk about anything with your partner and you will likely have talked about everything there is to talk about. 

In a loving relationship, each person will put the effort into getting to know each other, and sharing their opinions and values. Your partner becomes your best friend, whereas a lustful relationship lacks friendship and honest conversations. So consider whether you have spoken about these important things or not. 

3. You Don’t Have An Emotional Connection

If you want to know whether your relationship with this person is love then consider whether you are able to communicate and say what is on your mind. The main difference between loving a person and merely lusting them is the ability to develop an emotional connection with each other. 

If you never talk about how you feel or the things that are important to you even if you have been dating for a while, then it is likely nothing more than just desire. If your connection is merely based on sex and you don’t feel like you have an emotional bond then it is likely that you don’t care that deeply about each other. 

4. You Don’t Make Future Plans

If you never plan things to do together in the future even if you have been together for a while, then this is a sign that your partnership is not a loving one. If you cannot imagine a future with this guy and you even know that he is not the one for you, then it is probably just based on desire and sex rather than anything else. 

In a loving partnership, you will likely be excited to make plans for the future together but if the idea of getting married, having kids, and going on holiday with this guy is too much for you, then perhaps it is just desire and nothing else. 

5. You Don’t Get To Go On Proper Dates

5. You Don’t Get To Go On Proper Dates

This is a clear sign that it is just based on desire and you are just lusting after this guy. If you never go on real dates with this guy then there is likely little romance between you. Dates are important to create intimacy and romance between two people so if you don’t go on dates it likely doesn’t mean much more than desire. 

If you are dating a guy this is the time that you get to know each other on a deeper and emotional level, so if you don’t go on dates then you probably haven’t developed a bond with this guy. If you don’t go on dates then it likely doesn’t mean a lot to either of you. 

6. You Don’t Care About Each Other’s Lives

If neither of you actually cares about each other’s lives then you probably don’t have an emotional or intimate bond. If you haven’t tried to get to know each other on a deeply personal level then it is likely not based on anything other than desire. If you haven’t developed a deeper connection this is a sign that you don’t care deeply about each other. 

7. You Haven’t Met His Friends

If you haven’t met his friends and family and he hasn’t met yours then it is likely that you don’t care a lot for one another and it is not based on more than sex and desire. If you actually loved this guy then you would have introduced him to your friends and family and told them everything about him. 

This is a sign that it is not based on anything other than desire as you likely will want to introduce the closest people in your life to your new boyfriend.


How Do You Know Love Not Lust?

If you are wondering whether your relationship with this guy is based on love or just desire then consider whether you share an emotional connection, whether you have had long and meaningful conversations with each other or whether your relationship is based on more than just your physical interactions. 

Can You Lust Someone You Love?

It is possible to desire someone that you love and it is a great thing to be really attracted to the guy that you are in a relationship. This does mean however that you have both, you are both really attracted to each other while also sharing a deep emotional bond with each other. These can be the best relationships. 

Is Lust Stronger Than Love?

Desire may be stronger initially than love, however, love will last longer. Your desire for a guy may only last a few months or weeks but if you don’t develop a deeper bond it is likely to begin to dwindle after this time. However, love is something that can last a lifetime but takes much longer to build.  

Does He Love Or Lust Me?

Consider whether he has made an effort to create a deeper bond with you if you want to know whether he loves you or just lusts you. If he spends time to really get to know you and he prioritizes having meaningful conversations with you then this is a sign that he does in fact love you. An emotional bond is a sign that he loves you. 

What Are Signs Of Lust?

The indicators of desire include that the relationship is mainly based on your physical appearances rather than anything deeper. If you have not developed a deeper emotional level and your bond is merely physical then it is likely that this person merely lusts you. If you haven’t had any meaningful conversations it may well be just desire and not love. 

To Sum Up…

If you want to know whether this one person loves you or just lusts you then consider the things that make up your relationship. If you spend time really getting to know this person and you want to make a deeper connection then this is something more than just desire. The difference between lusting and loving largely means you have an emotional connection and a friendship.

Let us know what you thought and don’t forget to share this article! 

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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