Love vs Infatuation (31 Ways to Tell Which It Is)

by April Maccario

Love vs. infatuation - you are wondering which it is, right? 

That’s actually a little hard to tell when you are head over heels for someone. After all, you feel the characteristics of love; does that mean it’s real? 

Those are tough questions to answer because when comparing love vs. infatuation, many characteristics, behaviors, and feelings overlap

For example, you may feel like the physical attraction you feel for the person you’re with is overwhelming. This could be a sign of love blossoming or just infatuation. Infatuation/love both give you similar feelings and actions, so when you’re in the infatuation phase, it’s a good idea to know what to look for in another person and in yourself as your feelings bloom.

Love and infatuation are closely related. When comparing love and infatuation, it’s important to examine all the traits of each to see what phase your relationship is really in. 

In this article, we’ll take a close look at what infatuation/love really is and how to tell the difference between love and infatuation. This way, you can determine whether or not it’s true love or something else!

Contents

Love vs. Infatuation - What’s the Difference?

According to Psych Central, love can bring out the best in people. I know this is true because my man told me he first felt true love when he realized I brought out the best in him. He realized that I was the type of person he wanted to be with for the rest of his life, and it all started because I made him the best version of himself that he could be. 

People in love also are adaptable. They work with each other through the ups and downs in life - career changes, deaths in the family, or parenting difficulties. 

True love doesn’t see things like this as obstacles that they cannot surpass; rather, they see them as opportunities to grow together as a couple as they move to the next phase in life. 

Infatuation, on the other hand, is full of unrealistic expectations, a mountain of blissful passionate feelings that seem with no real growth or development, and possibly negative characteristics that are just unhealthy. For example, you may notice a lack of commitment, a one-sided relationship, a lack of trust, or unhealthy boundaries. 

31 Ways to Know the Difference

1. With infatuation, you can’t stop thinking about the person and their good traits

with infatuation, you can't stop thinking about the person and their good traits

Sometimes, people who feel infatuated just having a running loop in their brain as they think about their special someone over and over again.

2. Infatuation leads you to make your world revolve around this person

You may unintentionally alienate the important people in your life, like your friends and family members, or you may find that you talk about this person in every conversation that you have.

3. With infatuation, you don’t see any flaws in the relationship or in the guy

It’s important to not focus on the negative, but it’s equally crucial that you don’t ignore flaws that are already present.

4. Infatuation can lead you to idealize a guy (put him on a pedestal)

You may be so impressed with his good qualities, the things he does well, and forget that he’s a real person with problems like anyone else.

5. Sometimes, with infatuation, you forget about the reality of life

It’s very easy to lose focus when you feel like you are living on a cloud. 

6. You feel like you’re on vacation when you are infatuated with someone

I once had a boyfriend say that it was like being on vacation [being with me]. I took this as a compliment, but in reality, he wasn’t really looking at the pros and cons of the relationship - things we needed to deal with to last!

7. Infatuation usually means that you don’t want to really get to know him

Your balloon [your idea that this guy is perfect] may pop if you REALLY got to know him, so it’s best to stay safe, right? Wrong!

8. If you are infatuated, you feel like you have a big crush on the guy

You may have feelings of infatuation for someone who doesn’t even know you exist!

9. Infatuation makes you ignore any negative traits or behaviors (red flags)

You look past the red flags that everyone points out and defend his good qualities, so you can feel secure in your relationship. 

10. With infatuation, there may be a lot of sexual intimacy and little talking

Sex is amazing with love and can even be more intense, but in relationships with infatuation, sex is often the chief focus. 

11. In cases of infatuation, you may be looking for this person to fill a void

Are you on the rebound, lonely, or insecure? You may just need to do some solid self-improvement rather than jumping into your love life.

12. With infatuation, you can’t see past his money, looks, etc. (positive traits)

You may, for example, see how hot and buff he is and forget all about the fact that he still lives with his parents, or you may be focused on his financial situation and forget all about the fact that he has five kids with five women. Could there be a little bit of bias going on? Have you really looked at the pros and cons of being with this guy?

13. When you have feelings of infatuation, you are driven by passion and excitement

You may also feel this way about love, but infatuation thrives on the excitement and passion that is brought by this other individual.

14. With infatuation, you mostly care about how you feel when you are together

Rather than caring about his well-being, safety, or feelings, mostly you care about how he makes you feel when you’re with him.

15. If you are full of infatuation, you may feel like everything is easy with another person

You may even tell people this is the perfect relationship because the two of you have no problems, no fuss when really there are things, but you’ve been ignoring them.

16. With love, you can see flaws in the relationship, and you disagree

with love, you can see flaws in the relationship and you disagree

You face the truth, recognize it, and deal with it in a healthy manner.

17. Love means you are not blind to anything going on with this person

You see the red flags and are able to weigh the pros and cons of being together.

18. With love, you only want what’s best for the other person

Even if it means sacrificing your happiness, you care about them first and foremost.

19. Love shows patience, understanding, care, and compassion

Check out 1 Corinthians 13 in the Bible for a complete description of what love is all about.

20. When you’re in love, you share beliefs, values, and dreams

You’ve taken the time to get to know one another, so you share this stuff together.

21. With love, you enjoy getting to know about all the little things

You WANT to know all about him and what makes him tick. This is very important to you. You may crave learning more about him!!

22. Love means that you realize he is human and makes mistakes

He’s not perfect; you aren’t perfect. You’ve accepted this and faced reality.

23. With love, you care deeply about their safety and well-being

You worry about them when in dangerous situations, and you want them to stay healthy.

24. Love allows you to feel real emotions of comfort, safety, and joy.

True happiness can come from a real love for another person!

25. With love, you build up each other’s self-esteem

Working together to understand each other can bring you leaps and bounds above other couples.

26. If he is in love with you (or vice versa), he cares about you and shows it

Maybe he brings you flowers when you are having a particularly rough day. He knows how to cheer you up and show you he cares.

27. You know the pros and cons of the relationship when love is present

You recognize you both have flaws, and you both work to find solutions for any problems that come your way.

28. In a love relationship, you work together as a team

You feel very close to each other and learn to work together as teammates rather than two opposing forces fighting each other.

29. With love, you can easily communicate about serious issues

with love, you can easily communicate about serious issues

You both know these issues need to be dealt with appropriately, so that’s what you do!

30. Love helps you focus on what matters

You care more about their happiness than your own; if you have to make serious compromises for their joy, it’s something you understand, accept, and want to do!

31. With love, trust in another person is a simple thing to do

Trusting just comes naturally as you learn to love another person because they have shown you their honorable and trustworthy side!

FAQs

Does infatuation turn into love?

Infatuation often turns into love; it just takes time. You have to get past the initial things that made you feel infatuated with the person and trust yourself to get to know them better, so you can see their true colors and genuine traits - good or bad!

Is infatuation stronger than love?

Infatuation can be very strong, especially if you completely have blinders on and aren’t willing to determine if this is love or if you just like this person and are attracted to them for some other reason. Learn about infatuation and love to determine which applies to you.

How long does infatuation last in a relationship?

Infatuation often lasts from a few months to a year; it really just depends on whether your love interest stays connected to you over time. The more time two people spend with one another, the better chance they have of falling in love and having a long-term relationship.

What are the signs of infatuation?

Typically, you see no faults in the other person; that’s not a good sign that it’s love. You may think he’s your “Prince Charming” or another fairy tale character because it seems like he can do no wrong. In reality, everyone has flaws and shouldn’t be seen as being “perfect.”

What are the stages of love?

With love, you build each other up to become the best versions of yourself, and this person actually makes you a better person. Do you genuinely care about this person’s happiness and well-being? Do you only want the best for them, even if that means making sacrifices? That’s love!

To Sum Things Up…

Are you in love or think you may be infatuated with a new person in your life? Are you trying to build a relationship but don’t know what the current status is? 

I’d love to hear your side of things. Please comment, and share this post with someone else!

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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