What Is Being A Lithromantic? (Top 17 Signs You May Be One)

Last updated on August 29, 2022 by April Maccario

Do you think you might be a lithromantic? Are you wondering what that even is? 

You are not alone. Many people do not understand this romantic orientation. It is sometimes called apromantic or akoiromantic. It is on the aromantic spectrum. It just basically means that you are romantically attracted to people but do not want that feeling to be reciprocated. 

So, for example, you might flirt with your crush and have romantic feelings for him, but the moment he shares your feelings, you bolt. It sounds quite crazy, huh? In reality, it’s quite common. You just don’t want other people to feel romantic about you. It’s not a huge deal; it’s just the way you are right now. It doesn’t make you a freak or anything like that. 

It’s actually normal to feel this way from time to time. I’m not a psychologist, so I can’t say how healthy it is in the long term, but I think it’s perfectly normal to just feel this way every now and then. You just want things the way that is most comfortable to you right now. You are normal! You may be single for a while, but that’s okay, too!

Top 17 Signs You Might Be a Lithromantic

1. You stop feeling romantic attraction when someone reciprocates your feelings.

Many lithromantic individuals develop a romantic attraction for other people, but they do not want those people to feel the same way in return. They might even tell themselves they are in love with someone, but the second that person pays attention to a lithromantic, he or she will be repulsed. A romantic relationship is gross to a lithromantic.

It may seem strange, but to a lithromantic, it is normal to feel this way. They just don’t always understand why. They might have had heartbreak recently or been in a bad relationship. A trained psychologist could best help a lithromantic get to the root of any issues they may have. If you have difficulty understanding your sexuality, it could help.

The right therapist can help you with your sexuality and desires. If you desire a romantic relationship and fall in love easily, you might have sexuality issues, or you could be a lithromantic. A counselor could help you sort out your desire, wish, and dream.

2. You feel romantic attraction but never act on it.

A lithromantic is likely to feel sexual attraction but not want that feeling to be exhibited toward them. They may actually find romance repulsive. Has romance repulsed you recently? Do you get uncomfortable when people talk about their romantic relationships? Do you wonder if there is something wrong with you? This could be completely normal!

Talk to someone about your feelings, so you can one day have a healthy relationship. You don’t have to be in a romantic relationship to be normal. Enjoy your freedom and single life. Many lithromantics live healthy lives. If you do want a romantic relationship but feel comfortable with platonic friendships only, you may be a lithromantic.

3. You enjoy flirting as long as it is not reciprocated.

Do you like blowing kisses at people? Do you enjoy calling guys cute names? If you have a flirty personality, you are not alone. Many people are like this. However, they desire for the person they are flirting with to feel the same way usually. If you feel uncomfortable or do not desire flirting to be reciprocated, you might be a lithromantic.

4. You often fantasize about romance but never act on it.

Do you feel compelled to think about romantic touch but never act on it? Do you long for a physical touch from a mate but know that you would feel compelled to vomit if the physical touch was actually realized? You may be a lithromantic if you feel uncomfortable about romance.

5. You ignore people when they indicate they like you in a romantic sense.

This is often called avoidance in a relationship. If you try to back out of a conversation when it steers this way, you might not like romantic relationships. You may be longing for romance but don’t really want to be in a romantic relationship. If you change the subject or ignore people who talk about your crush, you could be a lithromantic.

6. You feel uneasy when someone brings up romance.

Does the word romance make you very uncomfortable? If it does make you feel awkward, you might enjoy a platonic relationship with someone. You might want to build real friendships with people so that you can have connections with the outside world. This way, you can also get to know new people and have fun adventures!

7. You don’t know why you feel uneasy about romance.

you don’t know why you feel uneasy about romance

If you are confused by your feelings, it could be one of these signs. You might not like romantic real relationships because they mean that someone likes you back and wants to be romantically involved with you. This type of relationship could make you queasy.

8. You enjoy non-romantic friendships only.

Do you enjoy making friends? Do you love meeting new people and developing new relationships? If you love new people, you could be rather outgoing. However, if you only like non-romantic friendships, you could be a lithromantic. You might like new relationships because they are connections to other people. This is normal.

9. You don’t like talking about the person you have a crush on.

Do you get embarrassed when people talk to you about the person you have a crush on? Do you just want to run and cry? If you like the idea of a relationship but not a romantic relationship itself, you could be a lithromantic.

10. You try to avoid the subject of romance with others.

Does the subject of romance just gross you out? Sometimes, people gossip a lot about the people they have a crush on. They just can’t help it. It’s something to talk about!

11. You get grossed out by physical affection.

Maybe you see people on the subway or other public transportation doing PDA (public displays of affection), and you are totally grossed out. You just want to puke when you see it or think about it. It could be a sign you do not want a romantic relationship. 

12. You hate the subject of love or romance.

When people bring up real love and romance, do you get sick to your stomach? If you cannot handle other people talking about their love for others, you might not enjoy romance in a relationship because you are a lithromantic. This doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you. Many people are like this, in reality.

Lithromantics are just not talked about much, but that doesn’t mean they do not exist. In fact, many people do not like romance in any sense. They would rather keep things serious or non-romantic in nature. They tend to steer conversations about love to go in another direction so that they do not feel uncomfortable in the conversation.

A girl might think she has a crush on a guy, but really she does not want him to do anything to show her he also feels love toward her. The relationship may never develop because of this. The girl may soon feel like this in regards to another guy, especially if the first guy begins to show signs that he is romantically interested in her. 

13. You often read romance novels but don’t want to think about reality.

You love to fantasize, but you don’t like to think about reality because reality is actually the here and now. It’s just all too real, right? You feel like your world is shattered when you think about romance in reality. You don’t want it in your life in reality, but it sure is fun to think about or daydream about for another day. You just think in reality it’s dangerous!

14. You feel uncomfortable when your crush talks to you.

you feel uncomfortable when your crush talks to you

When he or she talks to you, it makes the relationship too real, right? You feel like your whole world is being turned upside down and you really don’t know what to say or do! It’s typical to feel this way. Many people do, in fact. You just need to accept that you are a little different and try to find a way to cope with the way you are. 

If talking to your crush makes you feel uneasy, you might try to stay clear of him or her. If you don’t have a choice but to see them every day, you might try switching supervisors, schools, classes, or assignments at work. Try to get out of the situation that is making you uneasy so that you can feel joy in your life. It’s important to enjoy little things.

Frustrated that he doesn't pay you as much attention as he used to?
This is one of the most common issues our female readers face.

The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him today.

Watch this free video (click on the link to watch) that my friend recorded which explains how you can become his priority!

It’s always a smart idea to consult a therapist about these matters so that they can give you the best advice or tools and techniques to cope with what you have going on. They are able to best assess your particular situation and help you find coping mechanisms that are healthy and will help you in the long run.

15. You actually feel anxiety and fear when someone tries to be romantic with you.

Do you just want to escape to a desert island when this happens? Do you feel an anxiety attack coming on when someone tries to be romantic with you? Does touch actually scare you a bit?

16. You don’t want to bond with your crush.

So, you love looking at your crush and thinking about him or her all day long. You just don’t want to have a heart-to-heart conversation with him or her because that would make the relationship all too real for you. 

17. You fall in love easily, but the feeling goes away when it’s reciprocated.

Do you fall head over heels for people but do not want the feeling to be returned to you? If so, you could be a lithromantic. Do you fall for many people at the same time? Do you think love is easy for you to feel? You might enjoy the idea of romance, but it doesn’t appeal to you in reality. 

FAQs

Is Lithromantic real?

Yes! A lithromantic is a romantic orientation where romantic feelings are felt, but they are not reciprocated. You may feel romantic attraction and develop romantic feelings for someone but do not want romantic feelings to be returned to you. If you experience romantic attraction and sexual feelings but don’t like them back, you may be a lithromantic.

How do you know if you are Lithromantic?

This romantic orientation means that you can have romantic relationships and romantic feelings, but you do not want the sexual attraction to be felt toward you. This has nothing to do with your sexual orientation, either. You can have any sexual orientation to have this romantic orientation.

Can Lithromantic people date?

It’s up to them! Usually, romantic relationships do not work with this romantic orientation because a lithromantic does not want romantic feelings to be felt by their sexual partners. They might be sexually attracted to someone, but they do not want romantic love. They may have any sexual orientation.

What's the difference between aromantic and Lithromantic?

A lithromantic is on the aromantic spectrum, but with a lithromantic, a romantic relationship may be developed, but a lithromantic will not want their romantic attraction to be reciprocated. Lithromantic individuals can be romantically attracted to someone else. Aromantic individuals have no interest in romantic relationships.

What is Quoiromantic?

A quoiromantic has no idea of the romantic attraction going on. They cannot tell the difference between a romantic connection and a non-romantic friendship. If you are romantically attracted to a quoiromantic, you may have trouble telling if there is romantic love involved.

To Sum Things Up

What do you think of this romantic orientation? Do you think you could be a lithromantic? If a lithromantic falls in love, what do you think he or she should do? Are you afraid of intimacy or romance? Do you get repulsed by a sexual touch? Tell us more in the comments!

Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes?
We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship.

The thing is that which causes men to behave this way is actually something how men are wired. Once you understand how this works, it's relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him today.

My friend uploaded a quick video which you can watch here (click on the link to watch) where he explains how you can turn this behavior around!

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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