Is Sexting Cheating If You Are In A Relationship (21 Reasons Sexting Might Be Cheating)

Last updated on August 29, 2022 by April Maccario

It's now a virtual world, where most things depend on technology, including some relationships.

Sexting is the act of sending explicit photographs and porn-related things through texts. Not every man feels sexting is cheating. Some of them feel it's just a way of keeping the chat interesting when other topics seem boring

Why is that? Because they believe since it's virtual and doesn't have anything to do with physical contact, then it's not cheating. It's okay for a couple to sext because they're both in an intimate relationship and sexting would only spice up their relationship. But, it’s considered cheating when a partner does it with a third party.

The funny thing is, even though most men don’t consider it cheating, boundaries are still crossed while sexting.

According to Dr. Narayana Reddy, a Sexual Medicine consultant, “sexting is considered infidelity if you do it without your partner’s knowledge. It's considered harassment if the third party who is involved dislikes it.” 

Some people agree sexting could cause issues in a relationship, but still feel it's not cheating. Because they feel conversations like that have a certain level of emotional detachment, being that they're both living in sexual fantasies.

Others feel it’s worse than cheating. Sexting is cheating and here are 21 reasons why.

Contents

21 Reasons Sexting Is Cheating In a Relationship

1. It creates communication barriers between two partners.

Is sexting cheating? Yes, it is. That's because sexting creates excitement and stirs different feelings and emotions. If this is not happening between you and your partner, but with another person, it would create huge walls in your relationship, making communication hard.

You'll suddenly feel okay chatting with the other person. Your partner would not excite you anymore and you'd be looking forward to having your personal space so you can continue your sexting uninterrupted. You'll lose a greater part of the emotional attachment you have to your partner.

2. You can’t enjoy the moment with your partner while sexting.

Being on your phone already causes friction in your relationship or marriage because it takes your maximum attention from your spouse, not to talk of sexting. When you're sexting another person, you would barely enjoy the sweet nothings he whispers to you because your attention is somewhere else.

Sexting takes you out of the moment. It takes your mind off anything around you, including your spouse. You won't laugh at his jokes, respond to his stories, or observe anything he’s doing. You'll be totally off. This is what makes sexting considered cheating.

3. It makes you have unrealistic expectations from your husband or wife.

Sexting another person who's not your partner begins to make you have unrealistic expectations from your spouse. You begin to find excuses that would give more grounds to spend time away from them. Sometimes, their inability to do something the other person could make them look unappealing to you. 

The same thing could be happening to the person you're sexting. That's when your partner would start looking unattractive and boring so much that you can't stand them anymore. It's a horrible thing. It's what sexting does, which is why it's considered cheating.

4. You get distracted all round.

Sexting brings a lot of distractions. That's because it ignites feelings and emotions you could have never planned to have for someone else. Because of how exciting it could be, you'll look forward to receiving more messages from them. You'll look out for your phone even when you should be spending quality time with your partner.

Everything you do would be distracted by the thoughts of that person. It doesn't matter if it's in your career, business relationships, or marriage, you'll be unfocused. If possible, your life could be affected as well. This is why sexting is cheating.

5. Sexting makes you wish you could be with the person.

Sexual fantasies bring a lot of thoughts to people. This is what sexting does. It makes you wish you could be with that person, especially when you imagine them doing the sexual things they type to you. You begin to imagine what it would feel like.

Your thoughts would go wild. It could affect you to the stage of imagining that person as your spouse when going intimate with them. This is what sexting does and it may be hard to admit this, but if you find yourself in this situation, you're cheating, and you should stop it.

6. You’ll get more attracted to the person you’re sexting than your partner.

you'll get more attracted to the person you're sexting than your partner

Sexting has a way of stirring wild emotions in people. This is why it's advised you do it with your partner to spice up and improve your marriage. When you keep sexting another person, you tend to be more attracted to them than your partner.

Before you know it, you'd feel more comfortable texting them out of the blues, asking them questions, or confiding in them instead of your spouse. This is how cheating with sexting starts and it's harder to control than physical cheating.

7. Someone could get hurt.

The word there is ‘people.’ Many people could get hurt in the process. Let's start with your partner, he sees your sexts to another guy. Have you wondered how he'll feel about it? What about the man you're sexting? How would his wife feel seeing him sext you?

Because your partner is hurt, you would be hurt, too. It doesn't matter if you're not involved in the relationship anymore, it would affect you negatively. The same hurt would affect the other couple. So, would you want to be the cause of someone else's suicide? Think about it.

8. It can gradually affect your thoughts.

One thing about sexting is that it has the power to consume your thoughts and feelings, whether you plan for it or not. You'll always think about the person. You'll remember his messages to you, the explicit photographs, and how you feel when you sext.

The most interesting part of it is that it will affect you physically as you'd start smiling when you remember your conversation with him, so much that you'll think of how to respond or start another sexting conversation. You'll So, is sexting cheating when you have a husband? Yes, it is.

9. You’re most likely going to be emotionally connected.

You may think it's no big deal to sext until you get emotionally attached. You may or may not see it coming. Even when you do, you'll still try to convince yourself that you're just having an innocent pastime and not a real affair.

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Well, it would interest you to know that sexting could make you emotionally attached to someone. It's easier to cheat physically without emotions, but with sexting, it's harder. That's because you talk to them often and you're more involved in their life, so emotions would build faster than you expect.

10. It builds up curiosity so you keep going back.

Most times, sexting someone else doesn't happen once, except it starts when you're emotionally down. Let's say your husband hurt you in ways you could tolerate or you found yourself in an uncontrolled horrible situation and you needed to clear that mood.

As long as you started it or responded to it wholeheartedly, you'll be curious to know what would happen next, and how the other person would react to a message from you. This is what sexting does. It makes you want more, instead of stopping. That's cheating.

11. Are you hiding it from your partner? If yes, it’s cheating.

Of course, you would jump to tell your husband any good news you receive or anything you achieve. But does he know about the man you've been sexting? Does the man's wife know, too? If your answers to those questions are negative, then you're cheating.

Transparency is one of the keys to a happy marriage. You should openly tell your husband the things you're doing. If you feel comfortable sexting without your partner's knowledge, not showing him the photos and sexual messages, it means you know what you're doing is wrong.

12. You’d feel it’s okay to cheat all round since you’re not emotionally connected.

you'd feel it’s okay to cheat all round since you're not emotionally connected

If you could take the bold step to sext someone else, what makes you feel you can't organize a little meetup with them, just to see their face? Sexting makes you believe it's okay to sneak around with other people when you're in a committed relationship.

You'd feel it's just harmless fun until it becomes part of your life. This is what makes sexting count and considered cheating. Like sex, sexting should be done with your husband, boyfriend, wife, or girlfriend, not with a random person. 

13. It shows how unsatisfied you are with your relationship.

You can agree that most relationships are unexciting, which makes either of the partners go in search of the real thing that their relationship is lacking. This is where sexting comes in. But, let's say you see your partner sexting someone else, would you be happy?

That's the question you should have on your mind when you feel the desire to sext someone. If you're not having fun in your marriage, communicate with your husband or wife, and don't start a sexting relationship with someone else. 

14. If it can fill your thoughts, it can lead you to the physical act.

When you have the desire to respond to another person's sexting messages and you feel desired by that person, you may end up meeting up to have the real physical act of sex. It could start as a normal friendship which would gradually develop to flirting and sexting.

That way, you build up excitement, more curiosity, and anticipation of what it may feel like. Before you know it, you're up for the real thing. So, is sexting cheating when you have a husband, wife, girlfriend, or boyfriend? This makes sexting count as cheating.

15. Sexting makes you lose trust in your partner.

No husband or wife would be sexting someone else and tells their spouse about it. They would be afraid of how their partner would react and how bad it would affect their marriage or relationship. If you fall into the sexting category, you'd begin to suspect your partner.

You'll feel as if they're sexting someone not you, too. This is what kills trust in a relationship. And if either of you is sexting without the knowledge of the other, there's going to be bigger distrust. This is why sexting is considered cheating.

16. You gradually shift your sexual attention away from your partner to your sexting buddy.

Sexting has a way of satisfying someone sexually even when there's no physical contact. If you're sexting someone who is not your husband or wife, chances are that you would shift your sexual attention to that person. 

You may be getting more sexual than your partner because you're sexting someone, not them. You'll both start having an unexciting sex life together, which could cause a little friction in your marriage. If this happens when you shift your sexual attention, does it make sexting cheating? Yes, it does.

17. It could become an addiction.

Addiction is worse than anything you can think of. It means you can't survive without talking to your sexting partner in a day. Whether your partner is with you always or not, your attention would be on sexting the other person.

It may be hard to admit this, but you'll start feeling bad or some type of way if they suddenly stop talking to you or you can't reach them. This could end in a bad mood swing or sadness. This is why sexting is cheating.

18. You start expecting more from your partner.

you start expecting more from your partner

Because you're texting someone else sexually, sometimes, you'll forget he's not your partner. This could make you expect your partner to do the same thing, or continue from where the other person stopped, especially when you're going intimate for sex.

You'll expect him to do new and weird things he's never done before. If he loves you very much, he would be willing to do them. But, when the demands become too much, he may be skeptical enough to start asking questions.

19. It could start with words, but those words have unknown feelings.

Is sexting cheating when you have a husband or boyfriend? Yes, it is considered cheating because you could feel you're just using words to have an innocent pastime, but in reality, you're telling the person how you feel inside. You're indirectly expressing yourself to them.

If you're married, nobody except your partner should have the ability to stir up those feelings. If you feel there's nothing wrong in expressing those feelings to another person, ask yourself how you'd feel if your partner did the same thing to you.

20. You have more confidence to say things you wouldn’t say to another guy because you feel you’re hiding.

Do you know when people say it's fun to do something behind closed doors without being caught? That's what sexting does to you. It makes you feel like you can ask for anything because you're behind your phone screen. To you, it may be harmless fun, especially when you're not emotionally involved.

But, to the other person you're sexting, you could be getting them involved emotionally, and they could get hurt when they know you're not in it for real. The same thing applies when your husband looks through your messages and sees inappropriate content staring at him.

21. Sexting is cheating because you lose interest and neglect your partner.

You should try sexting someone when you're not in a relationship. Have fun with it, get involved, have a real affair, and see how it goes. However you feel when you're doing it, is the same way you would feel when you try doing it in your marriage

You'll notice how intrigued you'll be about the other person. This will happen so much that you'll forget your husband exists. You won't be interested in anything he has to say or correct about your attitude. All you'll want is to spend time with your sexting partner.

FAQs

Can you forgive someone for sexting?

Of course, you can forgive someone for sexting. But, it also depends on the scenario. If they say they never knew the implication of sexting or know that it’s cheating and you trust and believe them, you could forgive them. You could also love them enough to forgive them and continue with the relationship.

Is sexting worse than cheating?

According to the percentage of people against it, sexting could be considered worse than cheating. That’s because it takes maximum effort for anyone to build an intimate relationship over the phone with just texts. So, it's both emotional and sexual infidelity, which is why it's considered worse than cheating on every level.

Can sexting ruin a relationship?

Yes, sexting can ruin a relationship. It may not ruin it in a day, but it will gradually. Whether a partner does it once or continuously, it's enough to raise numerous questions from the other partner when they find out. That's when trust levels start reducing and doubts build up until they can't take it anymore.

What counts as cheating in a relationship?

There are numerous things that count as cheating in a relationship. It could be sexual cheating where you're involved with someone else, sexually. It could also be emotional cheating where you spend emotional time with someone else, not your partner. Or, it could be financial cheating, where you spend money without your partner's consent.

Should I forgive a cheater?

Everyone is worth forgiving. Forgiving helps you to move on from any hurt, but you have to be ready and open-minded to do so. You could forgive a cheater depending on how you feel about it, but what matters most is your life after that, if you want to continue with them or not.

In Conclusion

No matter how nice you want it to sound, sexting is cheating. You should avoid it at all costs to have a happy relationship. You could read the 21 reasons I've mentioned, often to refresh the risks sexting involves. Did this article help? Please feel free to share it with others and drop your comments.

Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes?
We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship.

The thing is that which causes men to behave this way is actually something how men are wired. Once you understand how this works, it's relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him today.

My friend uploaded a quick video which you can watch here (click on the link to watch) where he explains how you can turn this behavior around!

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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