Is My Boyfriend Cheating? (30 Signs He Is)

by April Maccario

Depending on who you go to for an explanation, the term cheating will be explained and defined differently. This is because, as humans, we all have varying views on relationships and boundaries. Some people might define cheating as a situation in which their partner likes random girls’ photos consistently. 

For others, cheating is a behavior that is only evident when intimacy (or should I say sex) with another person is involved. Without the pants-down visual, they won't consider their partner as anyone who could possibly cheat on them. No doubt, cheating over the years has evolved, with branches such as micro-cheating, virtual cheating, and cheating itself.

Despite the vague definition of cheating in this 21st century, many people always wonder if our love interest is cheating on us. Such feelings usually stem from a change in their behavior and conversations we might have come across. No matter the mode, second-guessing the fidelity of your partner isn't something new. 

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30 Clear Signs He Is Cheating On You

You might wonder, 'How can I tell if my boyfriend is cheating?'. Well, there are some pretty easy ways to identify when men are having an affair, and most of these signs are more than just discovering suspicious phone calls. There are evident behavioral patterns as well as speech. 

So, if you've ever wondered what your partner is up to when he says he’s working late, you might want to take a look at the signs of a cheater I’ve listed below. Be mindful, though, to conclude on ‘is my boyfriend a cheat’ or not, make sure he ticks off multiple cheater signs and not just one

1. He accuses you of cheating

Yes, he might! As hard as it is to believe, a cheating man will try as much as possible to move the spotlight from his actions and project his guilt onto you. When your partner begins to accuse you frequently of anything, including cheating on him, chances are he's a few secrets in his closet, and they need to be discovered, fast.

The science behind reverse blame is pure. Your significant other might be trying to project his insecurities without being too direct. Every time they look at you, they feel guilty about something they're doing; so, to rid themselves of that guilt, they accuse you instead. 

In some extreme cases, this false behavior begins to become a reality for them, so much that they see their cheating as retaliation. everything is tough to absorb, but it is widespread; trust me. If your mate does this frequently, it might be time to begin a little background research.

2. He's extra cautious with his phone

At the start of your relationship, everything was rosy, and both of you were as transparent as possible. These times were fun because you could ask for your man's handset as a joke and have him offer it to you, without any password or number lock blocking your entry. You felt safe, loved, and trusted with his actions. These moments have recently vanished, and you've received a shock

Your relationship is no longer the same and your lover now has a code on his mobile. This is a very new update since he's never had such a thing before, and it is very suspicious. You are justified with your suspicions because this could be a sign of trouble in your relationship. 

More so, if your man never had a password before and now he has one, you might want to ask him why. Do this in a calm and collected tone, avoiding any form of accusation until you have all the facts.

If indeed your companion is cheating, he might try to come up with terrible excuses for doing this and might promise even to take it off. Hold him to this promise for a while, and when you realize everything is still there, you have every chance to think about the worst-case scenario.

3. He's smiling at his phone very often

Imagine you're with your companion on the sofa and all he does is smile. Not at you, because you're no longer the bright thing in his life; instead, his cell phone as taken the spotlight. You notice this behavior from weeks ago; it's somewhat new that's been happening for a while now, and you can't seem to wrap your mind around it. 

If your man isn't smiling at memes or funny videos on their mobile and social media, he might be getting excited about someone else. That said; being in a relationship with someone doesn't mean they're the only ones who can make you happy; that's what associates and family are there for. 

Messages from other individuals might be enough to solicit a smile from your lover’s attention if they're just friends and it doesn’t mean he is having an affair. So, this is a delicate sign that needs further attention. However, be particular about changes in his feelings when using his phone and who he's communicating with; more so, ensure that it isn't anyone like a family member before concluding.

4. Your conversations are now short

Men are not known to hold engaging conversations with women for hours on end; however, if your partner was the sort of guy that talked about anything and everything, you likely always lived for these moments because both of you got to exchange thoughts, emotions, and jokes without holding back. More so, if you were the first being he came to about anything, serious or silly, and it made you feel appreciated and cared for and suddenly, all these have vanished, he might be having an affair.

Another sign to pay attention to which might hint at your mate cheating on you with others is their sudden lack of interest in the relationship, especially when it comes to communicating with you. You might realize that they don't speak to you much anymore, and he has become highly withdrawn

More so, he now shares less than he used to, and you always have to ask to know what's going on in his lifespan. Relationship counselors state that a reduction in communication could be a hint at a major issue occurring in a relationship. As such, it needs to be addressed by both parties.

5. They're suddenly irritable

Before you enter into relationships, it’s vital to pay attention to the fact that we are all individuals who have different actions and things we do that based on personal preference. It could be pressing the middle of a toothpaste container to leaving the toilet seat down after using the bathroom. 

When we enter into relationships, some of these things might be seen as deal-breakers, while others will be considered cute and unique. So, if your boyfriend loved your snorty laughter and how you drooled when you sleep, and now he always complains about it, there might be something happening. 

More so, sudden irritability with anything you do is another sign that might show your mate is having an affair. His irritability can be due to things as trivial as the moving of dishes from one place to the other or something like leaving tissue paper on the ground. Regardless, if he is always irritated by things you do, he is likely having an affair.

6. He's always talking about someone

...Or he's stopped bringing that person’s name up. These are two different but alike scenarios that could hint at a pressing issue within your relationship. If your mate is talking about a co-worker, high school bud, or best friend a bit too often for comfort, chances are he's developed some feelings for them and might be receiving those same feelings back. 

More so, pay attention to the frequency with which the person’s name is mentioned, as this could be because of their regular communication, which could be due to their newfound love or affair.

In another light, due to the sexual orientation with that specific person, they might decide to stop talking about them altogether which is also another sign you can look out for in a cheating spouse. If they used to talk about the person a lot and now they don't, chances are your man is having an affair.

7. Their fashion style has changed

Another sign to pay attention to if you suspect he is cheating on you has to do with his appearance. Maybe, he’s suddenly changed his appearance, getting a new haircut or scent, and is more concerned about his physical appeal and outlook. 

This sign shouldn’t be relied on alone, as well as go through moments where we shake up our wardrobe and change our looks to feel a different way. No one needs an excuse to switch up their clothes or put some more effort into how they look.

However, when your companion is suddenly going all out on new scents, shoes, and clothes for no reason, he's trying to impress someone who isn't you and might be having an affair. The change in appearance is done because they begin to feel new and different with this other person. They're on a journey to impress as much as they can, both physically and emotionally.

8. And not just the clothes, their entire look changes too

This is a build-up of the previous point. Besides clothes and attires your spouse loves, a sudden peak in concern for how your companion is always looking can be a cause for alarm. Typically, in relations after the honeymoon phase has ended, both parties get comfortable with one another such that they tend to care less about their looks. This shows how secure they feel in the relationship.  

With this in mind, if your man is suddenly buying new things to dress up, or is merely taking extra-long for grooming after his morning shower, a new romance may be brewing on the other side of town. Dating and relations experts have observed that in the beginning stages of relations, we want to create a lasting impression on the other person, such that they feel comfortable being with us. 

For this reason, when we start seeing new people in a bid to enter a relationship our body language changes, we dress differently, feel different, and even wish to smell different.

9. You don’t know any of his friends

You've been with your beau for almost half of a year, and you still are yet to meet a single friend of his. This should have you questioning the kind of bond you’re in. When a man decides that he's exclusive to you, not others, he would love for the world to know about you. He wouldn't mind showing you to those he cares about, because he wants them to love and accept you just as he has.  

So if you have no clue your man's best friend or have no idea who his associates are, there is a high probability you're not the only one he's seeing and he is having an affair. He may be keeping you at bay because he doesn't wish to explain to associates and family why he's dating more than one person at a time. Not showing you to people of value in his life means that he might not see that much in you. He is pretty much betraying your trust in him.

10. Spontaneity is his favorite thing with you

There’s nothing routine about your bond. Every time your man wants to see you, it happens spontaneously, randomly at odd times and hours. This is the trademark of a chronic cheater, simply because men of such caliber hate routine. Establishing a routine for them means committing, which doesn't sit well with people who wish to be with multiple people at a time.  

You should be suspicious if your spouse hates establishing known habits and routines with you. No, he's not trying to be spontaneous for fun, as you see in movies; he's trying to avoid being caught as a cheater if you realize that about your bond, it might be best to say a big goodbye before you're hurt from his affair.

11. He's having many private conversations

Most often, these private conversations are disguised as work-related conversations or after-hour meetings that need to be done late at night. If your lover is having a lot of individual work-related discussions on the mobile, at odd places within your house, he might be hiding something from you. 

Work is work and, as such, shouldn't be kept a secret from anybody, unless it's illegal. If he decides to pick this call in the garage or another, you're justified in your cheater suspicion. No doubt, most cheating men do this because they don't want you to hear what they're talking about. They're hiding something or someone from you, passing it off as a career-related issue. 

12. Hiding their expenditure

This is yet another symbol that couldn't mean a lot of things. If you've never been transparent about monetary issues and how each of you spends their money, there's no reason to get suspicious about it now. However, if financial transparency is something both of you hold in high esteem and have practiced for long, any modification should merit some worry.

When your man suddenly refuses to share his money expenditures with you and is continuously secretive about his finances, chances are he doesn't want to be accountable to you anymore, since his money might be going elsewhere. Not having to explain why half of his monthly money goes into lingerie you've never seen or worn is one less stress he has to think about.

13. Your jealousy and anxiety begin to rise

It's your intuition; it's telling you that something is wrong somewhere with your mate. Feeling anxious and jealous after specific actions of your partner is natural, since, in many cases, it stems from your intuition. A woman's gut feeling most of the time isn't wrong; it may deflect a little, but it's never entirely mistaken.

Whenever your gut gives you such a message, listen to it. This is vital, especially for those who rarely get jealous or suspicious about their men. Nature has a way of warning us when impending danger is looming, in any part of our life; thus, heed such feelings as and when they arrive.

14. Late or no replies to your messages

Your man can never say he didn’t see your message. Were in the 21st century, where everyone spends more than thirty minutes on their phone at a sitting. It doesn't matter if they were at work, in a class, or a solemn meeting. Our cell phones are like stickers glued permanently to our palms, almost impossible to remove. He might be giving that attention to somebody new when you start to experience long moments of radio silence from your companion

We all indeed get busy during the day, with work, school, and other activities. But when it comes to relations and partners, we decide to make time for them simply because we love and care for them. The inability of your mate to categorize your messages as essential shows that you might not hold that value you once did in his eyes.

15. Bizarre schedule changes 

It's been a few weeks, and you don't seem to know your boyfriend's routine anymore. He used to keep you updated on new variations to his schedule and the classes or sports he's now engaging in. Suddenly you're calling him to find out he has a yoga class at 10 pm. Odd, isn't it? Well, consider the fact that your man is now with another lady.

The bizarre shift in a man's schedule without his lady being in the know could only be because he's found a new love interest. In such cases, he needs to buy or create time to spend with this other person, without raising much suspicion.

16. He’s not following you on social media

One huge red flag in today's world of technology and social media has to be when your lover isn't following you on social media. It is a totally different scenario when your companion has never really been a social media lover, but if he is and you're not one of his friends or followers, there may be more than one of you.

Some of the motives why he may not want to be your friend or follower could include the fact that he wants to keep his personal information to himself. Also, it could be that you're his backup plan, and his social media shows you who the true love of his life is. There are several explanations why your partner may decide not to friend you on social media, or in any of the different groups and lists that all these apps allow you to create.

17. His new spot is the bathroom 

In recent times, your boyfriend loves spending extra time in the bathroom. When such a space becomes their favorite place as soon as they return from work, they might be trying to clean off any evidence that will betray their actions. This becomes a sing only when it's not typical of your man; thus, don't go jumping to conclusions if this is something he did even before you came along.

Many times when men cheat, they love to get rid of any form of physical evidence. These could include the scent of a woman's perfume, lipstick marks on their body, or even worse. To do this, they'll have to avoid greeting you as soon as they come home, shower, or brush their teeth. Only then will they be confident enough to receive a hug or kiss from you.

18. He can’t look you in the eye

You both used to love the silent communication that happened when your eye met. It sent butterflies down your stomach, and you smiled more full than ever before. You could go at it for hours without getting tired and every second was more amazing than the last. And now? The love of your love avoids your eyes like the plague. Don’t ignore your gut feeling. There’s something wrong somewhere, friend. 

Avoiding eye contact is one of many signs of guilt, according to dating and affiliation experts. When a spouse is always avoiding eye contact, especially during communication, it could mean they're trying to hide something away from the other party. If your man offers zero eye contact when you're together, it might be time to have a hearty conversation to find out the truth.

19. There’s no more sex 

The moment you start to notice a shift in your man's romantic energy, chances are something is up with him. The change in energy often results in a subtle disinterest in sex, where your lover seems uninterested in being intimate with you, for no apparent reason. Could it be that; he's getting sex somewhere else? That’s most probably the truth.

Sex is a way to connect intimately with your significant other. Though it's not the most crucial element in a bond, it is great to share. If this form of intimacy is now non-existent between you two, he's probably lost interest or has found somebody better to become intimate with.

20. You’re having more sex

In truth, it could go the other way, where both of you keep going at it for long hours of the night, something that is very new to you. There's a science behind these two different points. 

Yes, it is true that for some men, getting something better concerning sexual intimacy might prevent them from having sex with their actual companions, but there are a few in the mix who love the rush of having an affair, and channel that into their sex life.

Sometimes, getting it on the side can cause so much excitement that your level of passion is increased considerably within your main relationship. This leads to you and your cheating partner having hotter sex than you've ever had.

21. He has new bedroom moves

Still, between the sheets, you might have noticed some new moves from your man, and you're wondering where it came from. Sure, it could be that he's watched some new porn recently and is merely being a great student. It could also be that somebody is teaching your man a few tricks elsewhere.  

New signs might come from spending intimate moments with another person besides their partner. Even though these were discovered with another person, your man may still want to try them with you well, simply because he likes it! A new move in the bedroom department could be for various reasons, thus its vital to look out for other underlying signs before reaching a firm conclusion about the situation.

22. The bed is now cold

You're now the only one in the bed; he suddenly can't stand lying beside you in the same bed. You've tried to find out why, and the only reason he offers is that he thinks his snores are too loud for you. You've both been sleeping in the same bed for two years; thus, you’re confused about this sudden worry. It's not you; it's merely because he has a little guilt hanging in his pants.  

Your cheating partner's new inability to share the bed with you has nothing to do with, and everything to do with his guilt or remorse. When a man is cheating on his woman, he might feel the fear of being caught in little things like the words he says, the way he smells, his actions, and inactions; thus, he'll choose to keep a safe distance from his companion.

 If you realize signs that your companion is drawing away, be sure to engage them in a calm conversation to ascertain the issue.

23. He only takes photos of himself

He only takes photos of himself

….Or his social media only has pictures of himself? There are some people who love to keep their relationship away from social media, simply because they want to. They don't wish to gain any form of validation online by letting everyone know about their business thus they keep the focus on themselves or their activities, depending on what they prefer to showcase.

If your cheating man, however, is one who loves to keep the internet informed about his whereabouts and daily dealings, it's only natural that you'll fall into such a category, with photos of the both of you hanging out every once in a while. For such a man, the absence of such images is a valid cause for worry.

24. Their phone is always a mile away from you

You and your partner used to share the bedside charger, and suddenly, he's charging his phone in the kitchen, away from the bedside and away from you. This is enough to raise suspicion in any girlfriend. If he already did this at the start of your relationship, it shouldn't matter now since he hasn't changed his patterns. If, however, this is a new development, it may require some looking into it.

When cheating men wish to hide certain parts of themselves from their women or partners, they do it in different ways. Who hopes for their side chick call to be picked up by their girlfriend at 11 pm? No one, that's who. When the phone moves from the room to the kitchen, something fishy must be cooking (all puns intended).

25. He over-compensates you

I like it when my mate takes me out to sweet fancy places occasionally unless I know my boyfriend is cheating. It brings variety into date nights and gets to dress up extra chic and cute for the night. In the instance where he’s suddenly taken you to super lux places, buying you gifts almost every day, it could be more than the need to add spice to the relationship.

When a cheating man feels guilty and wishes to make it up to you, he thinks of getting you stuff. Expensive stuff. You’ll suddenly find your lover going out of his way to take you on dates at luxurious places, purchasing extremely pricey gifts for you, and trying to act like they're so in love with you. Many times, that's their guilt working overtime.

26. He doesn’t tag you in his posts anymore

You and your boyfriend were the Romeo and Juliet of social media, always tagging each other in posts and photos. Everyone knew you were together, and they looked forward to seeing your tag under those tagged. Now it seems things have changed, and he doesn't tag you anymore. This can be a potential threat that there's another woman in the picture.

When a cheating man stops showing you off as he used to, in his particular way, it could mean he's found somebody else to show off, or he's hiding her from you. Your man's decision not to tag you in photos could be because he doesn't want anyone to know both of you are together. This is a very painful realization anyone can make, but it is extremely common among millennials today.

27. Sudden affection for you

You may have realized your lover was angry or moody for a while, and now he's all affectionate and appreciative of you, without any explanation. Surprising as this may be, it can be a symbol of his infidelity. Sometimes, when your mate mysteriously gets all-loving and apologetic after being extremely cold towards you, he might be cheating.

Yes, it is possible that he is sorry for the moody attitude and wants to make it up to you, but these instances are very rare. When he’s cheating, he sees it as a means of acting out. By being with somebody else, your guy gets to release his frustrations and anger with you, which in time turns into a feeling of guilt. This guilt then pushes your man to become sweet beyond recognition.  

28. He calls you by another label

You must’ve seen these signs in a movie or two, but it is very real, and it occurs in many affairs. When a guy is seeing somebody else besides you, there may be instances where he loses awareness of who he's with, and as a result, refers to the woman he's with at the time with the wrong title. This may happen in conversation, during an argument, and even during sexual intimacy.

Being called another woman's title by your boyfriend can be very hard to take in, and very painful to accept, but it does happen. When it does, don't lash out as a first response. Allow him to become aware of what he's done, and when he reaches that level of realization, have a frank chat about him cheating together.

29. He calls you by your name

In affairs, men tend to create sweet pet names for their significant others, in a bid to heighten their romance. Pet names are cute, and they're used most often than actual tags. If your boyfriend usually refers to you with a pet name and is suddenly calling you by your real name, there might be some trouble in paradise.

It is possible he's started giving these pet titles to another lady, or he doesn't see you in that light any more chances are his emotions have shifted from you to another woman, and as such, titles like Babe and Baby belong to the people individual he’s cheating on you with.

30. Your friends tell you 

There are some instances where signs don't cut it anymore. In those moments, there are people you can rely on who will keep you informed; friends. Friends you trust who knows about your relationship will be ready to tell of you nay new changes in your boyfriend's behavior or whereabouts, even before you begin to realize them

More so, they might come across some photos or see your boyfriend at odd places without you, and wonder why. This behavior is excellent when you have honest friends who want nothing but the best for you. If your friends already have some form of hatred for your fellow, these messages they send me to be as a form of revenge or a way to get him out of your environment for their gain. 

Be assertive and research on the claims of people before reaching any conclusions; it is always better to be safe when it comes to affairs and marks of cheating.

FAQs

What are the signs that your boyfriend is cheating?

A cheating partner may lie to his words, but his actions will always betray him. Check out how often he looks through his phone to find out if your companion is indeed cheating on you. If it's more than usual, you might have competition on the other end. Also, immediate care about his appearance can stem from the fact that he's found somebody new who tickles his fancy.

How do you find out if someone is cheating?

The best method to find out if your significant other is cheating on you, or if anyone is cheating in general, think back to the things they did, try asking some friends or listen attentively to the words they use when you're with them. Most times, we let things slip in word or deed, which often gives our innermost secrets away.

How do I know if my husband is cheating remorse?

Your husband cheated, and he's been caught. His reaction can be of plain guilt or honest remorse. To know just how remorseful your husband is, look at the direction of his actions after being caught. If these actions are focused on himself, he's likely to be feeling guilt. But if men regret their actions because of how it affected you, they're destined to be feeling remorse.

What do you do if you think your girlfriend is cheating?

The best thing to do if you think your girlfriend is cheating is to talk to her about your thoughts and concerns. Speak to her calmly and honestly about your observations, and also listen to what she has to say in response. Avoid any accusations, just in case your gut feeling is wrong, and avoid starting an argument. If indeed there were signs of cheating, you can trust yourself to find out the motives why, to know if it's roughly both of you can work through, or if it's better to say goodbye.

How do you know when to leave a relationship?

Relationships are amazing to be in, but when your needs aren't being met, it may be better to walk away to void hurt. Some subtle signs tell you when it's time to say goodbye to a relationship. The first signs include asking for more from your partner seems like a scary thought. Also, if your family and close pals object to the relationship, chances are they can see things your loved-up self has become oblivious to.

To Summarize

No matter how good a cheater somebody might be, there are things about the human being that makes it tough to hide such a thing in your actions. There are only a handful of people in creation who can keep their efforts the same, despite a change in their preferences, and this handful is extremely tough to find. If you ever have the sentiment you're being cheated on, trust your gut, and find evidence.

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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