Is He Serious About Me? (31 Signs He Wants To Be With You)

Last updated on June 11, 2022 by April Maccario

If you’re getting to know someone new, enjoying the time you spend together, and wondering whether this is going to be a long term thing, or if you’re concerned that you’re getting played by the guy you’re already in a relationship with, this article is here to help you.

Every relationship has to start somewhere, and the beginning is typically always confusing. You’ll find yourself questioning a lot, especially when it concerns whether this guy really is the one for you or not. 

The main question a lot of women find it difficult to find answers to is, “Is he serious about me?”.

Even if the guy you’re dating tells you he’s serious about you, you might find it hard to believe him, especially if you’ve had relationship problems surrounding trust or been played in the past.

Instead of just believing what the guy you’re interested in says to you, a much better way to figure out if a guy sees you as girlfriend material and wants a serious relationship with you is by looking at his actions and picking up on things in the relationship. So, we’re going to share the 31 signs he wants to date you exclusively and he’s interested in a serious relationship with you. 


How Do You Know He Is Serious About You

1. You are a priority to him

you are a priority to him

The first and most obvious sign that someone is serious about you and wants you as a partner is if they make you a priority in their life. Of course, it doesn’t mean that you take over from all his other priorities like family, but it means that he has included you (probably pretty high up) in the list of his priorities. 

You’ll be able to tell if he’s making you a priority because he makes sure he spends time with you, he’ll never cancel on you or let you down, he’ll always think of you and catch up with you about how your day has gone and overall just do things to make sure you know he’s dedicated to you.

2. Any spare time he has is spent at your side

If a guy is spending pretty much every minute outside of work and other commitments by your side, it’s a good sign that he’s serious about you. Spending time with you is clearly important to him and it also clearly makes him feel happy, otherwise, he wouldn’t be doing it. 

So, if a guy is always trying to make plans with you and wants to see you as often as possible, whether it be for a bite to eat on your work break or for an evening out on the town, he’s into you.

3. He’s good at communicating with you

Communication is vital in relationships, and a guy that wants to be with you long term will know this. Therefore, he’ll want to make the best impression possible to you by showing you that he’s a good communicator. This guy will probably text you throughout the day, check-in after you’ve finished work, and makes sure he talks to you every day. 

When you’re face to face, he will also make sure you know he’s a calm and honest communicator. So, if any conflict or disagreement does arise, he’ll handle it well in a bid to show you how healthy your relationship with him would be. 

4. He tries to figure out what makes you tick

A man that’s interested in you and feels serious about you will want to know exactly what makes you tick. He’ll want to know what goes on in your mind, all of the things you love, the things you hate, what you want from life, and how you feel about important topics. He’ll want to soak it all up and store all this knowledge away, to impress you further down the line.

5. He’s a great listener

A guy that truly listens to you is a guy that’s serious about you. So, if this man is always offering a space where you feel actually listened to rather than just heard, and he allows you to say your piece before butting in with unasked-for advice, he’s there because he wants to be. Someone that’s just using you or playing you will never offer to listen to you because that’s simply too much for them to take on when they’re not committed to you.

6. He picks up on every detail

Does this guy always remember the things you say? Perhaps he surprises you with a type of flower you spoke about weeks ago? Or he’s aware of all your family drama and knows exactly who’s who? If a man picks up on and remembers every detail about you, it’s because he’s serious about you and will need to know all of these things for when you’re in an exclusive relationship.

7. He wants to be official with you

he wants to be official with you

If a man has told you that he wants to not only be exclusive with you but actually go official with you, he’s certainly serious about you. If a guy is playing you or doesn’t want to be with you in the long run, they won’t ask you to be official or exclusive, because there’s just no point. 

8. He wants you to meet his friends and family

Family and friends are the most important people in our lives, as well as our partners. Therefore, if a guy wants you to meet his friends and family, it’s because he wants all of the most important people in his life to know each other and love each other. It’s a big deal being asked to meet the parents and the best buddies, so take it as a declaration of love.

9. He always says good morning and goodnight

A man that ensures he says good morning and good night to you is someone that deeply cares about you. He’s texting those things because he wishes he was waking up and going to sleep next to you so he could tell you in person. 

10. He never flirts with other women

If he’s serious about you, he’ll never flirt with other women or even look at other women in anything more than a platonic sense, because he’s dedicated to you. You’ll never find him staring at another woman, you’ll never see him sliding into other girls' social media messages and you won’t find him going behind your back with anyone else.

11. He respects you

If a guy is serious and wants to be with you, he’s going to respect you, and that means respecting everything about you. He will respect your values, what you do for a living, your goals and aspirations, your opinions, and your boundaries. 

Respect is essential if a relationship is to work, so he’ll not only be your number one supporter, but he’ll respect everything you do, even if sometimes he doesn’t agree with you. Respecting you as an independent woman is obviously vital, but it also does prove he wants a life with you, not just a fun time.

12. He always asks to make plans well in advance

The kind of guy that makes last-minute plans with you is the type that’s looking for a quick night of fun or is simply trying to fill his time because other plans fell through. However, with a man that’s serious about you, he’ll always ensure that your plans to see each other are planned in advance. 

He is not a man that makes last-minute, seedy plans with you. Instead, he wants to dedicate a certain time and day to just being focused on you, and it allows him to plan a date.

13. He doesn’t get jealous when you’re out with friends

he doesn't get jealous when you're out with friends

A man that’s completely cool about you hanging out with your friends and doesn’t act in a possessive way or become jealous is the perfect partner, and that’s exactly what he’ll be trying to show you. In addition, a man that’s serious about having a life with you will not want to anger your friends, instead, he’ll want to make sure he makes a good impression with them.

14. He tries to understand and comfort your past traumas

A man that wants to be with you will be dedicated to trying to understand your past traumas so that he can comfort you, as well as learn what’s acceptable and not acceptable to do, to ensure no flashbacks or trauma is brought back up.

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15. He always asks for your advice

Someone that wants to create a life with you will always ask for your advice when it comes to making important decisions. He will do this not only because he really values your intelligent opinion, but also because he wants to make decisions that also make you happy. He thinks of you as a team now, so he won’t make big decisions without you.

16. He plans dates that align with your interests

If a guy is serious about wanting to be with you, he will try and impress you by making sure all of the dates he plans for the two of you are actually doing something you like. For example, if he knows you love theatre, he’ll take you to the theatre, rather than simply to a bar or restaurant. He is really putting effort into making sure he provides you with happiness. 

17. He talks about how much he likes you to others

Although men aren’t the biggest gossips, and they rarely share romantic information with their friends in a way that women do, guys still talk. The difference is, they only mention anything when they are really serious and set on something. So, have you heard him talking to his friends or family about how much he likes you? If you have, it’s a sign he wants you in his life for the long run.

18. He asks the big, deep questions

If someone wants to be in a relationship with you, they’re going to want to know your core values, morals, and opinions, as well as future goals. Therefore, they will ask you deep, important questions to make sure that your values align, as well as learn more about you. 

19. He shares his goals and aspirations

he shares his goals and aspirations

A man that feels comfortable around you and wants you in his life permanently will share his goals and aspirations with you. He will share these with you for a few reasons, but mainly because he wants to confide in the person that he hopes will be there, by his side, to see him achieve everything he wants.

20. He includes you in his future plans

One of the simplest, most obvious signs that a guy is serious about you is if he speaks about the future with you in it. Does he include you in his future visions? Or did he invite you to a wedding next year? If so, it’s pretty clear he’s interested in being with you for more than just a quick fling.

21. He’s honest with you

Honesty is something essential if a relationship is going to successful. Therefore, a guy that’s honest with you is doing so because he hopes to start the relationship off between the two of you on the best terms possible. 

22. He’s always got your back

Someone that wants you to be in their life for more than just a few weeks will want to be by your side and protect you from others that don’t have your best interests. A guy that always has your back supports you and defends you is most certainly someone that wants you as a partner.

23. He’s a man of his word

When someone is serious about you, they will show you through their actions, not through their words. Therefore, when a man is into you, he will always do exactly what he says he’s going to. He won’t cancel dates, he will pull through if he says he’s going to do you a favor and he’ll never let you down unless under exceptional circumstances.

24. He wants to make a good impression on your friends and family

A man that wants to be in your life will understand how important your friends and family are to you, and therefore he will put maximum effort into being liked by all of your loved ones. He might be nervous about meeting your family because he wants them to love him, and he will go out of his way to be the best version of himself when they’re around.

25. He makes sure he has things of yours at his house

If a guy goes and buys you things to keep at his house, even if it’s just a toothbrush or some face wash, it’s a big deal. The same thing applies if he clears some of his wardrobe space for your clothes. What he’s doing is changing it from his house to a shared space where he wants you to feel like you’re welcome all the time. 

26. He’s eager to please you in bed

If someone is using you or playing you, they won’t be very interested in supplying you with pleasure in the bedroom, as they will be there for selfish reasons only. However, a guy that goes out of his way to give you pleasure and ensure you’re having a good time together in bed is someone that wants to make you feel like you’re fulfilled because they seriously like you and want you.

27. He tells you very personal things

If a man is really opening up to you and telling you personal details about himself that he’s trusting you with, he’s only doing so because he feels so comfortable around you and feels compelled to open up. If he’s trusting you with intimate details and feelings, he’s seriously into you, and he may even be falling in love.

28. He shows you affection in public

he shows you affection in public

If a guy is proud to show you off to the world by holding your hand in public and kissing you in front of other people, it definitely means he’s interested in you and wants the world to know about the amazing woman he has found. 

29. He tells you openly how he feels but gives you time

Obviously, if a guy tells you how he feels about you, you can be pretty certain he’s telling the truth. However, you don’t know for sure, and it could be part of his user plan. Although, if he gives you time and doesn’t demand that you tell him what you feel like and doesn’t need answers on where the two of you are heading, he’s serious about you. 

In this case, he is just wanting to let you know how he feels and doesn’t expect anything from it.

30. He makes you happy

A man that focuses on bringing joy, makes you feel happy, and makes you laugh is someone that likes you, because they are going out of their way to put a smile on your face. If someone was using you, they wouldn’t make such an effort to bring you joy. 

31. The relationship progresses

If the relationship progresses as you spend more time together, it’s a good sign and shows that this man is serious about having something exclusive and official with you. For example, if you started as friends, then flirted, then started to date, and so on, it’s probably the real deal!


How do you know if a man is serious about you?

You’ll know a man is serious about you if any of the signs he wants a relationship with you above are showing in the relationship you have together. Overall, some signs that he wants you to be his girlfriend, and he wants a serious relationship with you, include opening up to you, supporting you, respecting you, spending time with you, and wanting to know you on a deeper level.

Is he serious about me long distance?

Long-distance relationships are typically harder, but that doesn’t mean a guy won’t be serious about you just because there’s something making it more difficult. You’ll be able to tell if a guy is serious about you using the same signs above - he will spend as much time as possible with you, keep in contact, tell you he wants you to go official, get to know you on a deep level and more.

Does he really love me or is he playing me?

If someone really loves you, they will show you and they will do their best to always make you happy. They will talk to you often via text or call, spend time listening to you, and getting to know you, go out of their way to spend time with you and they will be honest with you. Someone that’s playing you will often ignore you, never listen to you, not be there for you when you need them and they don’t know how to respect boundaries.

Does he see me in his future?

A really simple way to figure out if a guy is thinking about being with you long term is by casually asking him about the future, or listening intently whenever he mentions doing something in the future or makes plans. If he without a doubt imagines you there with him and includes you when he is making future plans to do something or go somewhere, he will see a future with you.

How do you know if he's thinking about you?

Obviously, there’s no way to be sure in a single moment that someone is thinking of you, as unfortunately, we lack mind-reading skills. However, if a man is always wanting to be around you, making you a priority, listening to you, trying to get to know you, and making memories with you, he’s definitely interested and therefore he’s going to be thinking of you frequently.


Now that this article has helped you identify the signs that will be showing if a guy is interested in you and genuinely wanting a serious relationship, hopefully, you’ll be able to tell who’s serious and worth your time, and who’s not. 

Did you like this article and find it useful? Let us know in the comments and feel free to share.

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April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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