Introvert Dating (7+ Exceptional Ways)

by April Maccario

The dating scene can be a bit daunting and can feel much worse for introverts. No doubt, it can be tiring to keep putting oneself out there. More so, introverts find it easier to get dates online mostly because of the lack of human interaction. The witty smart and funny side of this personality trait comes out to full glare in text messages or even in the exchange of emails.

People often make the mistake of attributing shyness to introverts, in a book by Susan Cain, the author states that introverts are actually not the shy, reticent people that people see them to be, they are extroverts who pick their words carefully. Introversion has a spectrum so you might be shocked to find out that there are some open social introverts. 

The difference between introverts and extroverts is how they recharge their energy levels. Introverts need solitary time to recharge before mingling again, it's like coming out for fresh air. Extroverts, on the other hand, get recharged from their interactions with people. 

Are you about to date an introvert? Are certain characteristics he displays confusing you? Check out these tips to understand what being in a relationship with an introvert can be like.

8 Ways Introverts Date

1. They want meaningful conversations

Introverts tend to be more reflective and sometimes, socially reclusive. So on a first date, they may be more reserved rather than chatty. This often gives them time to observe, analyze, and conclude on various topics, so 5 to ten minutes in, you may notice them opening up and actually talking a lot more. If you happen to be ‘going-out’ one, then he’ll definitely want to have meaningful conversations. 

They like to talk about in-depth issues and will throw out theories they have joggled in their minds. They also require someone who can keep up with their conversations and not just give monosyllabic answers, someone who would fully grasp the totality of the conversation.

For example, if I go on a date with someone and he successfully gets me to question a particular stand I had on a topic, he definitely will get another date with me. It must be the yearning to fully understand and grasp how things work. 

2. Sensitivity

An introvert is not the most expressive human being and may tend to internalize most things without talking about it. This could also stem from the fact that they do not like confrontations and might do anything to avoid it, to some of them, no one is worth losing their cool over. 

Confrontations can be overstimulating and upsetting, some introverts might take to writing as that is how they can fully express how they feel about the situation. They would most likely be attracted to a person who is equally sensitive to other people's feelings; someone who is able to analyze without judging and dismissing. 

Research has shown that despite the fact they come off as quiet and aloof, they are rather sensitive individuals who feel everything deeply. In all relationships, sensitivity and empathy is important but should be applied more with an introvert since they tend to overthink and analyze everything.

So, do not be dismayed if he doesn't express much, just be sensitive with your words and actions towards him.

3. They prefer small groups to larger ones

He would rather attend a games night with a few friends than go for a full-blown house party. This is normal with these personality types, they feel like personal time with close friends is better than the noise and rowdiness that comes with going to public places. It's not that they are boring but being in the middle of so many people can be draining for them. 

An introverted guy isn’t thinking of a first date at a busy place; he loves special places, a nice restaurant, star gazing or even going on a nice, long walk. Guys like this are not one to rush to get concert tickets, they are the kind that would rather watch it live from home.

Also, some introverts also have social anxiety, they don't know how to act in a gathering and are often worried about embarrassing themselves. These special individuals would prefer a small crowd of five or even a night watching a comedy show with popcorn, drinks, and their favorite person over the idea of meeting new people.

4. They won't always be with you at parties and the happy hours 

As a couple, if you have developed trust and established effective communication, the introverted guy your dating could literally beg to stay home and read, watch movies, feed the dogs, or whatever else rather than go out to the party and get drunk on social interactions. They are genuinely happy to do that as it also affords them time alone.

More so, it can be upsetting when at an event, an introverted partner tugs at you and gives the 'it's time to go home' signal when you both literally just got there. Once these boundaries have been set and there is an understanding between you two, it definitely would not be a problem. He would tag along for one or more social events but not all. 

If you’re dating someone like this, you’ll have to learn to understand them, and don’t tag them as boring, your idea of fun is just very different from theirs. 

5. Dating apps

For introverts, dating apps are more convenient and it’s obvious why they would rather find one suitable dating app to ‘find love’ on than physically put themselves out there. It’s convenient; finding someone who seems to fit their idea of a good partner and get to choose one or two partners from the comforts of their home or office desk. 

They won’t have to reach too far out of their comfort zone, online dating has made it a lot easier to find ‘the one’ by just swiping right, and chatting that person up. You might equally notice that their dating profile may not seem overly adventurous, but that doesn’t mean the person hasn’t done things or been to places, they probably just prefer doing those things alone. 

6. Connection

Introverts are constantly searching for a connection, they will skip the small talk and go straight to deep questions like what your aspirations are or what scares you the most about life and whatnot. A connection with you goes a long way and they would pick that over small talk.

connection

If you are in a relationship with an introverted person, make time to work on the connection you both have as a failing connection could bring issues and he might make an exit plan. It takes two to work on it so entertain his conversations and contribute.

7. Shower you with love and affection

The fact that they aren't as expressive as extroverts doesn't mean they cannot shower their partners with love and affection. Dating for an introvert can be a big deal so they would not hesitate to show how they feel through their actions. It would also help to learn his love language - it could be gifts, physical touch, acts of service, quality time, or words of affirmation. 

Also, we often make the mistake of showing love the way we liked to be loved but that isn't always right as your partner might have a different love language from yours. This is important in all types of relationships.

8. They may seem rude but they really aren't

Dating as an introvert can reveal certain characteristics that can be confusing and misleading for our partners. Introverts don't mean to come across as rude and aloof, sometimes the pressure of social interactions, gatherings, and meeting new people can make them a tad defensive. 

However, once you get talking to them and the communication advances, you will realize they have a lot going on in that head of theirs and they make for excellent conversationalists. Introverts also like to cut through the small talk and get straight to point

FAQs 

How do introverts date?

Introverts want to connect with their significant others when in a relationship. Whatever they lack in words, they try to make up for it in actions. Unlike extroverts, they tend to prefer smaller crowds and would sometimes prefer to stay home rather than engaging with others.

Is dating hard for introverts?

Someone with this personality type might find being in a relationship a bit harder than extroverts and ambiverts. This is because it involves putting yourself out there and engaging with people they don't know. Introverts would prefer online dating, to actually going out frequently in the hopes to connect with someone. 

Should an introvert date an introvert?

Introverts can date other introverts, they have more in common, would enjoy the same things, and would be more understanding of the characteristics they both have. The concept of ‘opposites always attracts’ doesn't apply here as introverts do find people of the same personality trait attractive.

How does an introvert find love?

Introverts spend a lot of time on the internet and tend to meet people on dating sites. For introverts, online dating might seem more appealing as it involves less human interaction. 

How do introverts flirt?

Not surprisingly, introverts flirt very differently from extroverts, they are more old fashioned in their approaches and would probably be a bit more reserved. It might be easy to not recognize that an introverted person is flirting because of how quiet-natured they can be.

To Sum Things Up...

And there you have it guys, I hope you enjoyed reading this. Introversion would not stand in the way of a successful relationship, as long as there is communication and understanding the relationship with your introverted partner will flourish. It is important to be patient and be sensitive to your partner’s needs, so, take time out to observe and apply these tips. 

If you enjoyed reading this, kindly share it. I would love to know what you think so don’t forget to drop your comments in the comment section below.

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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