First of all, why do men do anything? I don’t actually have an answer to that question, aha. But I might have a few for the one that brought you here.
The entire dating scene is a tricky world, where things aren’t always as they seem, yet you’re supposed to take them at face value. That’s what most people would appreciate anyway.
If we went by that, seeing a guy who is still online dating when you’re already getting ideas about a possible serious relationship would mean the worst. No doubt, you will be thinking that he must be cheating and you must not be good enough, and similar stories.
Are any of these likely to be the answer? Maybe. But the fact that you are asking ‘If he likes me why is he still online dating?’ means you are not sold on any of the options you’ve considered.
In that case, you should totally check out the following possibilities.
Okay, so I’m just going to get right into it. His profile is probably still active because he’s talking to another woman. But he isn’t doing that with the mindset of cheating, he’s just dating. A lot of us expect automatic exclusivity of daters because, well, majority, but a growing number of people are also embracing alternatives to monogamy by the day.
This is even more likely to be the case if you’ve only just started seeing each other and haven’t gotten round to talking about your dating principle and whatnot.
Or he’s traditional in that way, and he’s keeping his options open for the one. Men are just as likely as women to want to stall commitment for this reason. He might like you quite alright. Maybe you have great sex between even better conversations, but he just doesn’t see it lasting. Or you don’t share the values that matter or whatever personal metrics he uses to check.
Perhaps he’s not even considering you in that way because it’s not the time or for some other reason that has nothing to do with you.
Just to clarify, when you say still online dating, do you mean you can still find his profile if you search online dating sites or the account is still active? Because there is a difference. If his account has been in use multiple times since you met (there?) up until recently, you can tell.
If he logs on and modifies his dating profile often, you can follow the trail from last active to location, picture, and bio updates. However, if his account has basically been dormant since you expected him to be last active on it, it’s worth considering that it probably didn’t occur to him to take the profile down. Or he planned to do it but forgot.
This sounds funny to even me, almost like I’m making excuses for him at this point but remember we said possible reasons? He might be in the marketing business, or sales, maybe even an undercover cop. Perhaps, he’s learning to sell himself to a particular demographic to improve himself elsewhere.
Again, if you’re not close enough to answer these questions categorically yet, you probably shouldn’t be freaking out even if he’s indeed keeping his options open. And if it doesn't work, it might be a social experiment thing, trying to improve his people skills in a relatively relaxed environment such as online dating apps/sites, maybe?
Some guys keep their dating apps not because they want to continue dating actively after telling you they like you, they just want to keep the attention coming. You’ll admit there’s a certain delight in meeting a proper guy online. It’s not every day you match with someone who doesn’t turn out to be either too fake, creepy, thirsty, or desperate.
So that feeling you get when a half-decent one comes along? Men get that too, and quite frankly, many of them live for the dopamine rush the attention brings. In his mind, you might be the one he’s thinking of having a relationship with, but talking to women online makes him feel young at heart, so he does it for fun.
Maybe your guy is somewhere currently asking, “if she likes me, why is she still online dating?” Imagine keeping your dating app just to stalk him, but he sees it on your phone and assumes you’re still dating other people, so he does the same. Again with the face value thing.
Or maybe he’s been keeping his all along to stalk you, and you’re both going in circles. Goes to show how common a problem communication is in relationships and how unnecessarily messy it can make things from as early on as the dating stage.
Then there are the guys who have no trouble appreciating what you bring to the table. They will be the first to admit how dating you has changed their lives, even sweep you off your feet now and then. Just one problem, the commitment subject is always a gray area.
They may not say they want a relationship with you but will act like you are together. You won’t be eager to bring it up either because such guys have a way of exposing you to their ‘damage’ first. That way, they can say, “you know I can’t do this right now, but I’m working on it.”
Maybe online dating is how he knows to do that, and the final sign he’s looking for will come from the next woman he matches with.
Online dating is so commonplace these days that even people who aren’t dating have their profiles up on a handful of dating sites. It’s basically socializing to some people. Need company? Hit someone up. Wanna roll in the hay? Just a tap away, and if you’re (un)lucky, you might even get someone who wants to talk.
Maybe he’s so used to having that option that he keeps it now even when he doesn’t have an active need for it. Like he’s not looking at it as a safety net per se, just that familiar app your phone would feel empty without. That, or the ego boost the attention (as implied above) gives him, is his own bad habit.
Meanwhile, your guy might not be confused about what you mean to him or what he wants from you. You may be ‘the one’ as far as he’s concerned. Between the two of you, he might even be pushing for commitment more. So why won’t he take down his online dating profile? If I had to guess, I’d say curiosity.
“What else is out there?” Yes, it’s a slippery slope from there to cheating if you prefer to couple up the conventional way. However, even at that, some people are genuine, or should I say principled, enough to not take it past meeting people online and interacting with them occasionally.
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This is the part of dating most people wish would just pass over them—the part where you have a conversation with your date about where this is headed. If you like the easy way out like any of us, the ideal thing would be to romantically transition from dating to just knowing it’s time to make it more.
Unfortunately, the dating world has a lot of things, but being ideal isn't at the top of that list. The only thing you can take to the bank(-ish) is a verbal agreement between the two of you that you’re in an exclusive relationship.
Assuming you’re in the same place just because you’re not dating anyone else, online or otherwise, is essentially setting yourself up for surprises you may not appreciate.
Last but certainly not the least possible reason on this list, have you considered the fact that he might not be as interested in you as you likely are in him? Because let’s face it, if you’re questioning things between you, something clearly isn’t right.
Now before concluding, I’d weigh the person against the other options on this list; which is more likely to apply to him? Then I’d ask because honestly, the only one who knows why he is still on dating apps, whether actively or not, is him.
Many people prefer to date for at least three months before considering exclusivity moves like taking down their online dating apps and profiles. However, each situation is unique, and couples should ultimately do what works for them.
Commitment-phobes may leave their dating profiles up to tell you not to expect much indirectly. Dating apps also make no-strings hookups easy, so no surprises there. Notwithstanding, some guys only leave their online dating profile intact until exclusivity is agreed upon. Once the relationship becomes official, they fix up or at least become more discreet about it.
Only if you haven’t discussed being exclusive or in a relationship prior. Unfortunately, signals get misread all the time, and it’s even more likely when you want something to happen. What you call “acting like we’re dating” might be him being his regular charming self. I’d recommend getting on the same page with him before putting all your eggs in his basket.
If he shows an interest in getting to know you past your online dating persona, he is probably serious. He should also be quite consistent, and I don’t just mean by replying fast (though it’s a start), but to be able to maintain the energy or at least some of it when you meet in person. That’s on top of him having said so himself, of course.
He tells you he’s not ready for a relationship but won’t let you go either. He acts like you are dating but then keeps his online dating apps and profiles up. Basically, the hot and cold behavior you’d expect of someone who doesn’t know what they want.
“If he likes me, why is he still online dating?” I hope you found your answer here or at least something close. I didn’t say it would be pretty, but I hope whichever one hit closest to home didn’t sting too much. Also, remember that these are based on aggregates, they may highlight where you need to look into, but you shouldn’t conclude based on these reasons alone.
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