Breaking up with someone you love could be very devastating. Realizing that the memories you shared, the love, affection, time together, and plans for the future were just a fantasy, can be so heartbreaking and depressing.
Don't think getting over an ex is as easy as people tell you. In fact, don't let your family or friends make you feel weak or guilty when you say "I miss my ex-boyfriend" because it is normal for your feelings to be fragile after a breakup. According to Dr. Joshua Klapow “at the initial stage of a breakup, it is hard to differentiate if you are missing your ex or you miss the relationship.”
That said, below are 9 ways I handled the situation and got my life back on track without your ex-boyfriend.
Don’t ever stop yourself or hold back on your true feelings. Your memories together will always be with you, the good and bad times and the tough and easy times. Well if you don’t, you won’t forget what you felt or still feel.
And it’s perfectly fine that you remember or feel something or get those emotions. Don’t force yourself to forget them. Feel the pain that comes with those memories. Cry if you have to and you will realize it does not hurt as much as before anymore. You can go through it girl, you are strong and capable.
Are you quick to bring up his issues in conversations? It’s unnecessary making him the center of your discussions. If you want him to come back, talking about how you miss your ex so much won’t automatically make that happen.
There are other interesting things to talk about when you are out with your friends. Avoid talking about him for some time. If you talk about him often, he will always be in your head and you will miss him more. Plus, you won’t feel better if he’s always stuck in your head.
You must not go over the same subjects over and over again; “he cheated, he is a liar, he doesn’t care.” Okay, you’ve said it, don't say it one million times more. You’ll start to feel like you need to talk about him to feel better, but that won’t help in any way.
Rather than focusing on how to get back together with your ex, make a deliberate decision to get better all around. Don’t lose your vibe and agility towards activities and life. Learn new things, grow, explore social media for new ideas, and learn to love yourself.
Don’t wallow in self-pity and mess up your life. Try and motivate yourself with what you feel and stay positive. The less you achieve your goals, the less you’ll think about your ex.
You could fool every single person in the world except one person, and that’s yourself. So endeavor to be true to yourself. There is a reason the relationship ended, so if you need to write down a list of reasons not to get back with him, then do so.
Don’t let your emotions outweigh your reasons. Yes, this is someone you love, even though he’s your ex, I get that. But, think of the disadvantages or constant hurt that came with being in that relationship. Also, be conscious of the benefits getting out of it has brought you. Don’t be too love-sick not to count your blessings. This is a new beginning. So, focus on yourself, family, future opportunities.
Don’t weigh yourself down by consuming your mind with negative thoughts about yourself. It wasn't your fault the relationship ended. Do not ruminate on the fact that you may not be good enough, or that you will never find someone else as awesome as he is.
No, stop, don’t do that. Your ex may have been great, but you’ll still find love with another man that will love you even better. You are special, worthy of love, and more and if he didn’t love you right, someone would. Take control of your emotions. Since he is no longer in your life, don’t give him control over anything. Forget getting back together for now. You have to heal and grow with you and you alone, so stay positive.
When you cry your eyes out in the dark you feel relieved. Trust me, you will feel even better when you talk to a person. Share your feelings with a person that you trust, it could be a family member, a friend, or a counselor. Vent, express yourself and say everything in your heart, you could even talk to them like you are talking to your ex.
Say all you want to say, keeping things to yourself can be so much torture. You can also write things down since you might not find someone to talk to every time. Rather you can get a handy notepad that you can reach anytime.
Don’t consider reaching out to him, at this point, it’s best to establish the no-contact rule. You mustn't get tempted to call or chat with your ex. This will only worsen the pain and make your emotions unstable. You could even agree to block each other to avoid going back. It will give him the space to miss you and you will have time to clear your head and get back to a healthier place. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder right? So don’t get too desperate.
Focus on learning new things and gain from the whole experience. There is always something to learn from these experiences. Focus on that and build your confidence, then ask yourself these questions while reflecting.
What do you now know about relationships? What are your expectations and wants from a guy you call boyfriend? What will you do in your next relationship? Most importantly, what did you learn about yourself? Because your sanity and stability matter most.
Shift your attention to other productive things; read books, clean the house, cook new dishes, and just get busy. This can greatly help to keep your ex off your mind. You can even get a new hobby or make new friends and hang out more often with them.
Just keep busy, don’t allow idle time so your mind doesn’t become the devil’s workshop. Scratch that, don’t allow any idle time so your mind doesn’t become your ex's workshop.
Missing your ex is perfectly normal, especially if you were so attached to him. You share a lot of memories, dreams, and goals you probably thought you could achieve together and it takes some time to heal and get in control of your emotions again. Missing him is part of the process.
It means you feel sad that your relationship ended. This doesn't necessarily mean you want to get back together. It just means you miss someone and something that was a big part of your life.
No don't call him, the relationship is over so give yourself enough time to heal. Calling him just brings back memories and slows down your healing process. It makes him feel you haven't gotten over him and getting back with you won't be difficult.
Frustrated that he doesn't pay you as much attention as he used to?
This is one of the most common issues our female readers face.
The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him today.
Watch this free video (click on the link to watch) that my friend recorded which explains how you can become his priority!
This depends on the individual, for some guys this can take a long time before they contact you. But in most cases, the chances of him getting back to are very slim. He can contact you if he still feels a bit connected to you and just wants a casual conversation.
Because they don't want to bring back old memories. This could be a sign that he still loves you and doesn't know how to handle the feelings. So he has to ignore you.
I hope you found this article helpful? You need to understand that it's normal to feel hurt, cry if you have to. However, also know that the ability to move one and get over him is in your hands, so take the bold step today and handle the situation. Tell me what you think in the comment section and please don't forget to share this if the article was helpful in any way.
Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes?
We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship.
The thing is that which causes men to behave this way is actually something how men are wired. Once you understand how this works, it's relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him today.
My friend uploaded a quick video which you can watch here (click on the link to watch) where he explains how you can turn this behavior around!