Picture this, you've finally found your Romeo and you always dreamt of being with this kind of person since you were a little girl. He ticks all the boxes, his parents love you, and your parents love him too. Even your buddies are jealous of you two. Everything is going on smoothly except for this tiny thing; you don't like his buddies.
They are so annoying and get on your nerves all the time. But, since they're man's friends, they've become part of your life. You've even tried to avoid them but you can't. The thing is, you love your boyfriend so much that you could do anything for him, even if it means you have to put up with his bad-mannered colleagues. It's so bad that you've even thought of getting rid of them, and making new friends for him. But, of course, you're not a crazy person and you don't know how he's going to react to that.
In this situation, it's easy to be confused since you can't change much. But, darling, I'm here for you. I'm no love doctor, but these tips I will be dishing out will go a long way to help you deal with this issue. So stay tuned.
If he asks how you feel about his friends, be honest with him, it's best to tell the truth. But don't flat out say you don’t like his friends because it may start a problem between both of you. Just imagine, your partner telling you he dislikes one of your friends, you would not like the sound of that either.
I'm not saying you should pretend and act like you enjoy their company. It probably has something to do with the fact that you're not comfortable around his friends. So, discuss it with him using a non-confrontational approach, who knows? He may see it your way, and this could lead to a positive change.
Don't be tempted to tell your boyfriend, to either choose your relationship with him or his friends, that's a wrong move. No matter how you feel about your man's friends, you don't have the right to tell him, to choose between you and his friends. No one has the right to choose that for anyone, so that's a major overstep.
Dr. Paulette Sherman, PsyD, a psychologist, and relationship coach further explained here that,
it’s important for you to know that your boyfriend was friends with these people before you came on board. As such, it’s every boyfriend’s choice to be buddies with who they want.
To be sincere, the best thing for you to do if you want to stop hating on them is to avoid them. Sure, your boyfriend may feel like his girl and his guys don't get along, but isn't that ultimately better than a showdown? You just need to know your place in your boyfriend's life, and that your relationship with him is completely different from the relationship he shares with his friends.
Make an effort to know and spend time with his friends because they aren't going to go away just because you don't like them. First impressions are not always the right ones; don't let it stick longer. Sure, you may have seen his friend at a party all over some girl who isn't his girlfriend. Don't completely write him off because of that. I know, cheating is disgusting, but everyone has at least one redeeming quality. Get to know them, and spend time with them, you'll be surprised to find out that they are not complete jerks after all.
Asking him to share one good thing about his buddies can go a long way, who knows? It may even help you change your mind about these people. Also, if there are any of his friends you don't like, or you don't feel comfortable with, bring it up in a civil manner. He's the one person that can help you bridge the gap.
I know It’s very hard to picture it like this. We know you're firmly behind the "I hate my boyfriend's friends" banner, but are you sure you’re not just jealous of his buddies? Sure, your man obviously does not have a romantic relationship with his buddies, but they probably do take a lot of his time. I know it's particularly biting when you're new to his friend group, and they probably have you a hazy and unwelcome attitude which might have been all shades of uncomfortable. It is pretty easy to see why you're hating on them in that case. Nevertheless, you've got to be tactful and recognize if this is something to do with you, not them.
I'm going to start by saying that you need to learn how to control your feelings. They should not be the reason you stress yourself every other day. Not only is that a lot of energy, but you're actually ruining your day, not them. I know, this sounds a bit confusing, but you actually choose to be upset. After all, they're not going to be around all day seeing as you don't live them. There's no point feeling all worked out about his friends. All in all, try not to be rude to his buddies because this will bring more tension in your relationship.
It's one thing for you not to like his buddies, but don't stop him from going out with them. That's the worse you can do for yourself and your relationship. Also, try seeing things from a brighter side, he has some really good mates and he's enjoying his time with them. Trying to stop him from being around his guys will only push him away from your life. Don't let your hatred for these guys make you lose your Romeo.
Firstly, pick out all the things they do to offend you and discuss it with your man. But make sure you talk about the conducts that concern you. Don't make it sounds like you're laying allegations against his boys.
You have to pinpoint the cause of the jealousy, after that, you will be able to address the problem from the root. It could be that he is giving out more of his time and thoughts to his boys than he is doing to you. Also, try to have a good friend too, that'll really put everything into perspective.
The problem here is clearly with you. Also, you need to start spending quality time with yourself, or better still with your girls too. You know he's not cheating, it's just you that's thinking you're losing him. Don't be too clingy, hang out with other people to get yourself distracted, from such thoughts.
You should avoid this person unless they did something wrong and distasteful, they're toxic, or unsafe. Then you should bring it up to your spouse, but chances are he may defend his friend, the reason is that he certainly sees the good in his friend that you don't.
Try to show up to group outings. If you feel nervous about going out with them, you can fix the get-together yourself. Pick a place you're comfortable with, or you can use your home. Also, they probably might not tick, all your boxes, at the first impression, but just take them the manner they are. However, don't worry yourself too much about making a first impression.
Don't be so hard on yourself, we all have that feeling sometimes, especially if the friend in question is obnoxious and rude. With the help of the tips, I've shared you will go through this. I will love to read your comments and also share this with your buddies and family.