It is very normal for young girls to grow up fantasizing about marriage; a beautiful wedding with cute bridesmaids, riding off into the sunset, and even having kids of their own. Most of the time, they even play games that depict them having a family and kids as well.
This goes to show how much of a big deal it is for children, let alone grown-ups, to get married. Furthermore, it is very common for young women to struggle for the ‘’bridal bouquet’’ at a ceremony. It is believed that the person who grabs the bouquet will get married next. That said, a lot of women out there still have reasons why they’d rather not jump into the lifetime union.
In this article, I will share with you why most women do not want to get married. In addition, I will throw light on a few reasons why others choose to get married.
Love is the ultimate force that drives people into not only a relationship but marriage as well. One ‘’study’’ has it that 90% of those who are in marriage are in it because of love, and 73% of those living with a partner also confirmed that love was the driving factor for their decision.
So you see, love is an essential feature when it comes to marriage. As a matter of fact, no relationship would survive the test of time without love. Nevertheless, it is important to note that love alone is not all it takes to keep a relationship or advance to marriage.
The idea of marriage is that one person joins another person and decides to live life together in love and harmony. Even though people feel like marriage is a sham these days, it doesn’t take away from the couples who have truly found happiness through companionship.
It is a common thing in our present generation for women to raise kids all by themselves, under the name ‘’Baby Mama’’. This may seem very normal in our society; however, other people would rather get married and raise a family while married.
What works for an individual may not work for another person simply because people don’t want the same things. Someone might decide to get married because they want a family where both parents are present.
This way, the child will most likely get the support, love, and affection of both parents as it should be. Not that there's anything wrong in a woman or man raising a child all by themselves; it is, however, not the best, as this could have a psychological effect on the child.
Another crucial reason why many would rather get married than remain single is for financial convenience. As a single person, you tend to bear the entire financial burden alone without external help.
However, marriage simply lifts most of the burden off your shoulders. Not only will you be sharing your life, space, and bed with your husband, you also share the financial burdens with each other.
Although I have mentioned in the previous section that marriage may likely be an alternative to saving cost, staying away from marriage can equally enable you to save money. When you are in a marriage, you tend to incur a lot more costs than if you are single.
These expenses may range from, getting a bigger house, food, water supply, school fees for the kids; talk less of the cost of paying for a wedding. These expenses would never be incurred if you had just remained single. So, it seems weird to want to get married when spinstership is looking more stress-free.
Therefore, some ladies would rather not jump into such an expensive union all in the name of marriage.
As much as it is important to take advice from people who are already in marriage regarding the same issue, it is imperative to note that not all advice will come off as positive.
Sometimes, getting advice from people who are not doing so great in their marriages can end up deterring or discouraging you regarding marriage. In most cases, married people tend to give out a lot more negative remarks than positives.
This can go a long way in shaping the perception of a young lady regarding the sacred institution. If you are getting lots of positive remarks about marriage, you will tend to aspire to get into one; however, if the opposite is the case, you will feel reluctant about it.
Most times, the case is not any of the above-mentioned; rather, some women just love to hang on to their freedom for a little longer – maybe forever. The thought of getting married is not always beautiful and rosy as most people make it seem.
There are other sides which people do not really talk about. These include, coming home early to your family; not sleeping out as you wish; no more wild parties or wild sex. Some women aren’t just cut out for these commitments; hence, they would rather remain single.
Usually, women that have trust issues find it a bit difficult trusting people; hence, they don’t want to date someone who’s looking for a serious relationship, even though the guy probably loves them. This can be a result of bad experiences in past relationships. These experiences make you untrusting of the opposite sex, talk more of getting into a relationship with them.
It is also imperative to note that not even a relationship can survive without trust, talk more of a lifetime commitment. Usually, women who have an issue with trusting other people, rather just remain single than jump into an emotional rollercoaster.
If you are a career woman who’s all about getting to the top in your career path or achieving certain life goals, getting married may appear as a distraction to you. Given this circumstance, you would rather choose to remain single so as to have enough time and commitment to your career.
This is because starting a family involves a lot of commitment and effort. You have to be emotionally and physically available to your husband and children, you have to get pregnant for nine months, go through the stress of losing your body shape, and more.
A lot of women out there do not desire to go through all of these; hence, they rather remain single and unmarried.
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There are lots of women out there who are of the opinion that they have no need for men. These types of women are financially doing well, living their best lives, chasing their careers respectively, and the last thing they would want is a man trying to ruin the fun for them.
To them, men are just a problem, and they rather remain unmarried than jump into marriage. What about kids? Some women would rather adopt a child, or pay for artificial insemination, just to escape the whole unnecessary drama of getting married.
One of the major reasons why some women would rather remain single all through their life is because of the terrible experiences they have had in the past. Some women have survived abusive relationships; some have almost lost their lives all in the name of a relationship.
These experiences add up to make them decide to never live in the same house with a man, talk more of getting married to one. Although these are extreme circumstances and running away from marriage may not always be the best panacea, some ladies have resolved within their spirit, body and soul, never to get married.
There are lots of women out there who do not understand why marriage has to be the way it is. They do not believe in the whole concept of monogamy in marriage. To them, this is an unrealistic ideology that is set to fail in the long run, because men will always cheat, and women also want to cheat.
So to balance things up, some women rather remain unmarried, flirt all they want, adopt a baby or opt for artificial insemination, and get on with life. This saves everyone the stress of having to divorce or worry about who is going to have custody of the kids.
Above all the reasons I have discussed, meeting the right person is very important. A young woman may truly love the idea of getting married but has not found the perfect guy yet. This reason has prevented a lot of women from marriage.
It is one thing to get into a relationship; it is another for that relationship to metamorphose into marriage. It is, however, unfortunate, that most relationships do not make it to the engagement level, talk more of marriage. Therefore, most women rather just remain single and wait for the right guy to show up.
Some ladies, unfortunately, grew up in a rather chaotic family and this has had a huge impact on their perception of marriage. What this means is, that some women grew up with their fathers abusing their mother. Others never even saw their fathers because he abandoned them.
This family background affects children’s perception of marriage, these children grow up in fear and disdain for anything called marriage.
Most of the youths in this generation equally grew up around such appalling circumstances; hence, we have an increasing number of abusive young men and women who would rather be single than married.
While a good number of girls can’t stop daydreaming about their wedding day, how they are beautifully dressed and walking down the aisle; another section of the feminine population just detests all those frivolities for reasons best known to them.
If you think marriage isn’t for you, that’s okay, it’s better to stay out of it than to feel compelled and frustrate someone else.
If you are among the unique feminine population who do not intend to marry, then you should adopt the following methods; be clear about your reasons for not wanting to get married; if it can be addressed then address it. Be sure to communicate this to your partner in simple terms for easy understanding.
If you eventually end up single, there is a tendency that you will feel lonely at some point in your life. You should come to terms that not everyone is meant to get married. Therefore you should take advantage of the situation; build your career, work on your personal development, have fun, and make as many friends as possible. However, if you still feel you are missing something, you should go out on dates, and hopefully, one of them will lead to something.
This phenomenon is not so uncommon, you probably are so used to staying alone that you do not feel the need to share your life, space, and privacy with someone else. Also, you have lived a free life for such a long time that you cannot afford to let go of your freedom for anybody. Furthermore, you have heard horrible things about marriage and you really do not want to experience any of such drama.
Telling your boyfriend that you do not want to get married may not be as easy as you think it would be. To get this off properly, you need to have an honest talk with him, in a nice and serene environment, break the news to him. You should also be prepared to answer most of his questions. Calmly explain the situation to him, and make sure you are honest about your intentions.
It is very possible to love someone but not want to marry them, just as it is possible to love someone but not want to date them. There are lots of good reasons that can account for this decision. One of which includes, their bad attitude; some guys may be charming in looks and personality, but have this very bad attitude which you cannot deal with. This attitude may be anger issues, drinking habits, or gambling. Indeed, you truly love this person but you have decided not to end up with this person, it is very normal.
Marriage is a personal life decision, and not everyone is cut out for it, for some it’s their ultimate purpose, and for others, it’s something they're very skeptical about. I hope you enjoyed reading this list, kindly comment on your thoughts below, and share it as well if you will.
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