How To Tell If Husband Is Hiding Something (21 Telling Signs)

by April Maccario

The feeling of distrust happens often in almost any relationship; you’re already immersed in the relationship, and then you have this feeling that your partner is hiding something. Irrespective of the love you feel for him, you just have to follow your gut and get to the bottom of everything.

How exactly are you going to find out things? It may be that your spouse is good at hiding facts, and there’s no possible way you can find out. It might also be that you don’t want to seem overly suspicious when there’s a possibility that he’s innocent. 

If you’re in such a dilemma, this article goes into detail on how to tell if your spouse is hiding something. Since every human subconsciously displays what’s inside their mind, this article narrows down on these subconscious signs to enable you to tell if your partner is hiding some facts or not. 

21 Ways To Tell If Your Spouse Is Keeping Secrets In The Relationship

1. He fidgets

Fidgeting is an easy way to tell when someone is guilty of something, a guiltless person always has a calm composure, while a guilty person doesn’t. Someone evading the truth or being deceptive usually has a lot of inbuilt pressure which he needs to offload. 

Sitting in the same room with someone he’s being deceptive to, gives little to no opportunity for that, thereby increasing the pressure. If you notice your spouse fidgeting unnecessarily, it might be a sign that your partner is hiding some facts from you, and is trying his best to prevent you from noticing it.       

2. He gets angry easily

He gets angry easily

Unnecessary anger is also a common sign of guilt, he feels you’re catching up fast and needs an avenue to make you retreat into your shell, and feel bad for making any moves. His guilty conscience may be making it hard to maintain his cool, which is getting him angry. 

If you often ask questions that any wife might ask, like details on where your partner is going, and he immediately gets angry, then there may be something wrong. This is because you’re not making efforts to pry, but his suspicious behavior is definitely a sign that there might be a reason to be concerned.

3. He’s always nervous

Nervousness is a prominent trait associated with guilt; the body is designed to respond negatively to wrong deeds, which may easily be seen in behaviors like stuttering, and unnecessary nervousness. If you notice that your spouse seems more restless than usual, and can’t seem to keep his cool, then it definitely indicates he’s trying to conceal something. 

If you ask him more questions about the subject that’s making him nervous, and it only gets worse, then you should definitely be suspicious about his words and actions. This is because he wouldn’t be afraid to talk about something if he truly had a clear conscience. 

4. He gives too many details

If someone is making conscious efforts to hide something, they’ll use other events to conceal it. This is how you can identify when your spouse is hiding something, he’ll say too many things and might end up giving unnecessary information. If he’s constantly giving too many details about events, then he may be making an effort to hide facts.

You have to be aware of the difference between significant details and insignificant ones. When he talks about getting to work on time, this might be considered significant; but talking about the colors of the vehicles he entered, or the clothes worn by people he encountered, is somewhat suspicious, and could be an attempt to derail you from a subject of concern.   

5. He shuts down emotionally

In every relationship, genuine communication is vital for both parties to keep growing together. On the contrary, when someone stops being genuine, it can cause problems. Shutting down conversations is a common sign.

If you’re confronting your partner about a situation, and he has absolutely nothing to say, it means he’s hiding something, and either feels too guilty to talk, or doesn’t want to get caught in a lie. 

On the other hand, he may try to agree with everything you have to say, which is suspicious and shows that he doesn’t want to get caught in a lie or say something that contradicts what he has already told you.

6. He evades quality time with you

He evades quality time with you

Quality time is an important aspect of any relationship and brings the couple closer to each other. They share what’s on their mind, and even what’s in their heart, when your spouse is avoiding spending quality time with you, it may indicate that he doesn’t want to give you a chance to notice his deception or guilt. 

He also doesn’t want any conversation to occur that will lead to further questions and more suspicion. Therefore, he simply spends his time engaged in one activity or the other, despite your pleas for quality time. This in itself is suspicious and shows there’s something he’s making an effort to hide. 

7. His throat gets dry

According to research, a guy’s esophageal muscles tighten up when he’s withholding a secret, it’s one way the body reacts to fear or anxiety. This happens especially when the secret is big enough to cause conflict, or possibly make him lose something important. His nerves begin to rack up, and his body responds accordingly.

If you notice your spouse has a habit of trying to clear his throat, drink some water, or even swallow saliva when talking about specific subjects, it indicates that there’s something he’s hiding, and he may not want you to know about it. 

8. He unconsciously touches one part of his body

When someone is guilty of doing something, their body language will reveal their guilt. One common sign people display when hiding something is touching one part of their body, which they may not usually touch often.

Your partner might unconsciously touch the back of his neck, or put his hand in his pockets. This serves as a way to feel better about the wrong act he’s committing. If your partner rarely does any of these, then it’s an indication that he’s hiding some facts from you. Fidgeting like this just goes to show he may have something to say, but is trying his best not to.

9. His body doesn’t face you

You can detect suspicious actions by how people carry their bodies during conversations. Since the body subconsciously reveals what’s on the mind, someone who is guilty will do his best to avoid being caught. Therefore, he will shift his body away from you, either intentionally, or unintentionally. 

Pay attention to what he is saying each time he’s having a conversation with you, or when discussing certain subjects. Someone with a clean conscience would not be afraid to open up while facing you. If he treasures the relationship, he'll open up and say whatever is on his mind, but in a ploy to get away from being truthful, his body unconsciously turns away from you. 

10. He avoids making eye contact

Making eye contact improves the overall quality of conversations, this is because eye contact makes it easier to see someone’s emotions, indicating whether they are sincere or not. Eye contact is also an easy way to dispute any form of guilt because only guilt-free people are willing to make eye contact. 

If you notice your spouse avoids making eye contact when talking about specific subjects, it shows that he’s not being truthful about that issue and doesn’t want you to see it in his eyes. If you can get him to look at you directly and repeat his side of the story, you might actually get the truth from him.

11. He’s suddenly secretive

In every relationship, knowing things about your partner more than anyone else brings you closer to them each day. You feel a strong connection with them, and you’re certain that nothing can ever come between the two of you. 

If all of a sudden, your partner becomes secretive about things and demands you give him some privacy, this definitely calls for suspicion. There isn’t meant to be boundaries between the two of you, it’s a sign that there’s a disconnection in the relationship. 

When someone who is usually bubbly and engaging decides to say little and tends to get touchy when you ask too many questions, he may be keeping something from you.

12. His eye shifts when talking

A subconscious behavior someone might also exhibit when telling a lie is shifting their eyes. According to research, when someone is telling a lie, the opposite side of the brain is used. It’s another reason why the eye will shift towards the left region when a person is telling a lie. 

The right region of the brain has also been detected as the area for memory, and the eyes will shift towards that region when searching for memories. Any suspicious movements of the eye can indicate pretense, and that he’s making an effort to hide some facts from you. 

13. He replies to your questions with another question

He replies to your questions with another question

This is a common defense mechanism that people may use for multiple reasons, this happens often, to shift the topic away from what you’re asking. You could be thinking he does this for clarity, but the truth is, he’s avoiding admitting the truth and may be trying to stall. 

It has also been proven that responding to a question with another question, gives a guilty person enough time to think of a cover-up to the question asked. If he has a clear conscience, then the answer is meant to be clear and immediate. 

14. He bites his fingernails

Psychology has revealed that the act of biting one’s fingernails occurs due to anxiousness or nervousness. Though this is a habit that many engage in naturally; in other cases, it displays a level of discomfort. This is why it’s a common sign with someone deliberately trying to hide vivid facts from you.

If he’s guilty, there’s a high chance he’ll be anxious and eventually starts biting his nails. You must also take into consideration if he naturally engages in the act or not. If he used to, you should monitor the way he engages in it, to be able to tell the difference between his natural habit, and nervousness. 

15. He’s acting guilty

This point is quite obvious, but most of the time, in a relationship, you may overlook it for the sake of love. Peradventure you asked him questions and he got defensive, began to stutter, or even started sweating, then he was definitely doing his best to hide something. 

This isn’t a normal occurrence, because no normal situation would put someone under so much pressure, that they begin to act nervously. If he’s acting like he just robbed a bank, then he may be keeping things from you.

16. He protects his phone

Everyone’s phone is like a storage house of personal information, you can easily know what someone is up to by going through their phone This is why anyone hiding facts will be overly protective of their phone. They turn the screen off when you’re approaching, and can’t seem to freely use it when you’re around. 

They take it to the shower with them, and turn it off or lock the screen when they are absent. All these are suspicious actions and easily indicate that they are hiding something. You can even try to innocently use the phone and watch their body language. Some of them act like you just tried to unlock a treasure chest; if they get agitated or angry, then that’s a sign he’s not being honest.

17. He’s careful about messages and calls

Synonymous with someone being overly protective about his phone, a person who hides facts will be careful about messages and calls. He obviously doesn’t want you to see something before he can take care of it, and this is why he’ll be unnecessarily jumpy about messages and phone calls. 

Any notification on his phone is like an alarm clock that he simply has to attend to. More so, when his phone rings, he instantaneously rushes to attend to it. All these could indicate someone being protective of something they don’t want you to find out about.

18. He’s distant

Distance doesn’t only refer to someone being far from you physically, it also refers to someone not being emotionally and mentally present in situations. He’s not putting the same zest and energy into the relationship like before and is not focused on building the new phases of life with you. 

The truth is, when someone gets so used to withholding information, their life becomes more or less about keeping these details a secret. This gives less time to the actual relationship, which you will start to notice.  

19. He doesn’t go into details

He doesn’t go into details

This is contrary to someone giving way too much detail about a subject, nevertheless, this shows when someone is guilty. In order not to get caught in a lie, or to give you too much evidence that can lead to the truth, keeping the feedback short and precise is the best choice a guilty person would make. 

If there isn’t much to say about a subject, then there won’t be any conversation to follow up. If you notice that your spouse tends to keep the details of some certain subjects short, despite you making attempts to get more details, it might indicate that there’s something he’s trying to hide.  

20. He makes you feel guilty

The feeling of guilt can easily make someone self-conscious, and cause distraction from the subject of concern. If your partner has been making you feel bad about yourself or scolding you for little actions, it could show that he’s trying to get you distracted from the major point of concern – his deception. This is not healthy and may easily reveal foul play

21. He’s suspiciously too nice

This a major tactic that men use to distract women, so they don’t notice the loopholes in their stories. If he gets you all the things that you like, and you’re always elated by how much of a great spouse he is, then this will easily kill off your suspicion.

On the other hand, it’s imperative to know when things are going overboard, so as to be able to detect whether it’s normal behavior or not. This will further help you identify if he’s trying to cover up his tracks, or simply being a good spouse. 

FAQs

Why do I feel like my partner is hiding something?

If you feel like your partner is hiding something, it’s probably because he has exhibited some actions that spurred up suspicion. Most times, it might be a result of some innate trust issues; but in other cases, your intuition may be pinpoint accurate.

How do you know if your husband is hiding something?

You can find out if your partner is hiding some facts from you by his actions towards you. If he’s unnecessarily nervous, anxious, passing off blame to you, or in some cases, being super nice to you, all these could be a sign that he’s hiding stuff from you.

How can you tell if someone is hiding something?

Your partner’s actions may give off the vibe that he’s either feeling guilty or anxious. If you really want to tell if someone is hiding anything from you, then closely monitor their behaviors, and check for common signs like nervousness, anxiety, and guilt. 

How do I deal with a secretive husband?

There are multiple reasons why a spouse will be secretive. Nonetheless, in order to deal with this, try to open up more, respond positively whenever they share something, explain how you feel, and in turn, give him time to open up.

What are the signs of a guilty husband?

A guilty spouse will always try to hide his tracks, this can either be by employing defense mechanisms or simply trying to feel less guilty. If you notice your spouse is being unnecessarily defensive or is blaming you for things, then there is definitely something wrong.  

In Conclusion

Did you enjoy this article on how to identify if your spouse is hiding anything from you? Always keep in mind the subjects that make your spouse react in any of the above-listed ways and later, seek clarification. If you liked this article, leave a comment below and share it with friends.

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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