As much as we all love to love, sometimes, moving too fast too soon can be quite overwhelming, confusing, and even scary.
The dilemma of setting boundaries without seeming uninterested and making your partner feel shunned can put you under unnecessary pressure, and that’s the last thing you need in a new relationship.
It takes two emotionally mature individuals who are willing to be patient and committed to the process of actually getting to know each other to create a healthy relationship, especially if it was intended for the long term.
Do you want to get to know this guy more by taking it slow? Have you had people screw you over because you moved too fast? Then these few tips should help you pull the brakes and take it slow when dating someone.
Taking things slowly in a relationship means different things to different people. For some, it may refer to the level of emotional commitment they invest, while for others, it may simply be holding off sex for some time. Whatever the case may be for you, it’s important that you state it out clearly to your partner early on.
I know it can be scary letting them know, especially when you really like this person, but letting them know the reasons for your decision comes from a good place. You may feel they won’t accept your reasons for taking it slow, but if that’s what you want your partner should respect it.
Besides, once you get this out of the way, it can ease a lot of tension, allowing both of you to just enjoy each other's company and have fun together. Needless to say, people respect those who know what they want and are able to establish clear boundaries.
When you start dating someone, there’s this rush of emotions that make you feel ecstatic, fulfilled, and extremely excited for the future. Here’s the thing though, a lot of ladies do this. We meet a guy and just a few weeks in, we’re already imagining a family with them. It’s common to lose grip of reality in this state and drown in this blissful sensation.
I guess that’s why it’s called ‘falling in love’ and some people fall fast. Sometimes, the more we get involved, connected and intimate with someone, we feel like giving everything, even though it’s just the first few weeks. Ever so often, our instincts come to the rescue, hopefully, sooner than later.
This is when it is necessary to start asking some real questions. Romantic love eventually grows into companionship in relationships that turn out successful. A new type of love is born, the type that is cognate to friendship.
To arrive at this stage, (if this is your goal) a strong foundation must be set early on in the relationship. Use this time to really get to know your partner; their personality, love language, ambition, and values, the list is endless. You can also create some time to explore each other's interests and passions, this helps you discern if you are actually fit for each other.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, that’s a common saying. It means that spending time away from each other is not only good for your relationship but also great for your personal life. That’s why taking it slow is so important when you meet someone special. It won’t matter how long the dating process takes. What would matter more is the quality time that is spent together.
In light of the recent event of the global pandemic, Ines Vanoman, who is a licensed marriage and family therapist notedthat romance in this era of social distancing can be compared to that of the Victorian age.
She further states that staying physically apart and relying on other senses besides touch, while checking if your partner is the right fit for you, requires a lot of courage. However, it would most likely be rewarded with a stronger bond.
Another simple way to step on the brakes when getting to know someone is to get busy. If you feel everything is moving fast, step back a little and focus on other priorities. When you deviate your attention to other activities that will improve your personal growth then you’ll have better control of your emotions.
So, start a new hobby, pick up a new skill, go on a trip, or spend some alone time with friends.
Texting can seem very convenient, however, it isn’t the most ideal form of communication, especially in the early stages of a relationship. When texting, we are naturally inclined to keep the conversation open and flowing. This can lead to developing attachments that may not have been intended.
Texting should be kept minimal if you want to reduce the tempo. Instead, focus on phone calls - even this too should be spaced out evenly. It is more important to set up dates and outings, where communication is more engaging and wholesome while using phone calls and texting to stay in touch and set future dates.
Group dates provide the settings that allow you and your partner to enjoy each other's company more casually, without the constraints of intimacy. Going out with a group of friends; ideally, a mixture of both his and yours can really give a lot of insight into your partner’s personality. Plus you get to make new friends as well.
Living in the moment can also be a great way to steady the pace of your relationship. It is possible that you may have already considered having a long-term relationship with your partner. However, making plans for the future, or even casually visualizing a future together may induce the pressure to take things more seriously.
If you want to take it slow, make sure you keep things simple. You shouldn’t start spending thousands, getting sensual gifts, or introducing someone to your family the first few weeks of dating them.
Meeting the parents, staying over more often, and getting a pet together are some of the major relationship milestones you don’t want to attain yet if you want to take it slowly. All these events demand a step up in responsibilities, which in turn, births expectations. And of course, you can’t have expectations void of attachment.
It's called ‘beacation’ for a reason. Whether it’s in a group, or just the two of you planning a trip, this will ultimately increase the connection that may speed things up. However, you can both embark on local adventures that don’t require too much commitment. The rule of thumb is not to go beyond three consecutive days.
Most of the great thinkers across all ages have been known to be staunch advocates of solitude. There's an increase in productivity, creativity, self-awareness, mental strength, and a profound sense of empathy when people sit to think effectively.
Step outside of the bubble, and spend some time with yourself. You will be amazed at how productive and creative you can be when left alone. This activity will make you feel more fulfilled and improve your overall well-being.
Self-control is the epitome of human intelligence. Before getting into a serious relationship, it is important that you and your partner have both attained a substantial level of emotional intelligence. Self-awareness increases your conscious capacity by enabling you to control and direct the flow of your energy with the power of your attention and intention.
Meditation and Yoga are some of the proven techniques that can help increase your self-awareness exponentially.
Taking things slowly in the early stages of a relationship allows you to build a much deeper and stronger bond with your Significant other. It is good advice to take as much time as you need to really understand and connect with your partner, particularly in the areas of communication and compatibility.
It is easy to get lost in the bliss of newfound love. When you realize that the relationship is moving too fast for you for whatever reasons, it is crucial you inform your partner about such concerns. This can significantly increase the chances of your relationship lasting longer. Great things take time after all.
Depending on your personality, there are a lot of ways to slow things down in a relationship such as; being honest about your feelings and letting your partner know about your concerns. Also avoiding huge commitments until you feel comfortable, and maintaining a minimal flow of communication between the two of you.
Relationships require a lot of trust, communication, and commitment. These things take time to build. It doesn’t really matter how long it takes to establish these factors because at the end of the day, what you really want is a healthy and harmonious relationship. When you understand this, waiting ceases to be an issue.
The foundation of every relationship must be set on honesty if it’s to blossom into a healthy and fulfilling one. Communicating your concerns to him with empathy will go a long way in gaining his support. Inform him that your decision is a result of how much you value him and your desire to build a genuine relationship with him.
Did you enjoy reading through this list? Don’t be afraid to push on the breaks every time you feel the relationship is moving too fast. With these simple tips, you should be able to take charge of your life again. Please leave a comment below and don’t forget to share this with loved ones.