How to Stop Wanting a Relationship (9 Ways to Be Single and Happy, And Find Love!)

Last updated on October 24, 2022 by April Maccario

There’s nothing wrong with wanting a relationship. Human beings are social animals after all. But when your desire for a partner overrides everything else in your life, it might be time for a rethink.

When you are single it can seem as if everyone else is either married or has a significant other. It is easy to fall into a trap of wanting to be in a relationship, simply because all your friends are happily coupled off.

The problem is that you can start to feel impatient and left on the shelf. You feel desperate to start a serious relationship. And there’s nothing worse than someone who appears desperate.

Sometimes it seems that a loving relationship is never going to happen for you. You think you are going to be single forever and never find love. This can lead to low self-esteem and a lack of confidence when you do venture out.

Or worse, you become so focused on finding love that you let your standards drop and date the wrong person. You’d rather be in a relationship than on your own.

So how do you stop wanting a relationship when you want to find love? Whilst I cannot guarantee love, I assure you, if you follow these tips you’ll see your dating world open up exponentially.

9 Ways How to Stop Wanting a Relationship

1. Go out more

You will never find a partner, let alone your ideal love match if you stay at home. Get out and about. Yes, you can frequent bars or clubs that are not too noisy and allow you to spend quality time with someone. However, don't rule out theatres, sporting clubs and venues, museums, and art galleries. 

Dating apps can be really useful, whether you are after a serious relationship or romantic love. In fact, it is extremely common now for couples to meet on the internet. 

2. Be open-minded

Start saying yes to more things. It doesn't matter what it is, whether it’s agreeing to a blind date or going to a sporting event. We meet people in all kinds of situations, but if you’re not open-minded you may miss out on a chance of love. You never know, you might start having fun and meet someone by accident!

3. Be aware of your body language

be aware of your body language

Sometimes our body language can be off-putting to potential love matches. If you are standing in a corner with your arms crossed against your chest you are not exactly giving off a sign that you are approachable.

There are several techniques that instantly cause a connection, for example, mirroring the other person’s body language, tilting your head towards them, and having an open posture.

4. Be yourself

I don't know about you but I find first dates exhausting. You have to be on your best behavior and present the best version of yourself. Actually, that is not strictly true. Yes, you should display good manners and social etiquette, but sometimes the best dates happen when things don’t go to plan. Don't be afraid to show your goofy or quirky self.

5. Have a life

Are you going to be attracted to someone who has no friends, no social life, or no interests? Of course not! And the same applies to you. We are drawn to interesting people who appear well-balanced, have strong ties with family, and have a good set of friends.

If I gave you a choice of dating one person with no friends, no social life or interests, or another one with long-standing friends, a few hobbies, and social skills, who would you prefer? 

See yourself through this prism. How attractive are you to potential dates? Find joy in your life and attract new people. 

6. Learn how to flirt

learn how to flirt

It’s easy to miss the signs that someone is interested in you, but are you aware of how you come across? We’ve already talked about body language and how that can influence people. Now I need to remind you of the art of flirting.

If you like someone, touch them playfully on the knee or shoulder. When you talk, use their name a lot in conversation, and make close eye contact with them.

7. Pursue your interests

I want you to name three things you are passionate about. Perhaps you like exercising and going to the gym? Maybe you love to read or like going to the cinema? You might be interested in popular science or crafting. 

Whatever your interest, pursue it! This might mean going to see your team play or buying tickets for your favorite band.

If you like walking why not find a hiking club in your area? If you have a dog chat to other walkers. When you pursue your interests you create a more-rounded person and you get to go out and socialize without the pressure of dating.

8. Spend time with your friends

spend time with your friends

Friends tend to take a back seat when it comes to new relationships. If you are not in a relationship why not use this time more effectively and spend time with your friends? 

Arrange night outs or even weekends away. Drop by for coffee and a chat. Ask them about their lives and be present for them. Strengthen your bonds with close friends and reach out to distant ones.

9. Change your attitude

When you are single it is easy to think that you’ll never find someone, let alone the right person. You start to think that you’ll end up alone for the rest of your life. Of course, this is nonsense. 

Remember the last time you were single and then started dating? That feeling lasted forever too, didn't it? It’s important to accept that this is just another phase in your life. Right now you are not in a romantic relationship, but this will pass.

Frustrated that he doesn't pay you as much attention as he used to?
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How do I stop being desperate for love?

Start by focusing on yourself and having a life! No one is going to be attracted to the sad sap sitting alone in a bar. Pursue your interests and passions. Catch up with friends and family. Start saying yes to more things so that you are becoming more sociable. After all, if you don't get out there you’ll never meet anyone. Recognize that this is just a phase in your life.

How do I stop myself from wanting to be with someone?

Stop looking for someone else to complete your life. Concentrate on yourself for a while. Use this time to focus on why you feel such a need to be with someone. While it is natural to want to be in a relationship, over-obsessive behavior is not. Start by building up your self-esteem and confidence. See yourself as a prize, worthy of winning that others find attractive. 

What are the signs of desperation?

Rather than wait for the right person to come along, or let love find you, some single people rush into relationships. Because they are desperate to find true love they are not spending time with this person. They don’t know their personality traits, whether they like the same things or if they have different interests. It takes time to get involved with potential love interests. 

How do I stop being needy and clingy?

Be honest, accept that being single causes you stress. It's perfectly natural to want to be in a relationship. However, it shouldn’t consume you. Get busy living your life, follow a passion that you never had time for, enjoy your alone time or go out and try new hobbies. It is when you are busy and not looking for love that you might be surprised.

Why do I feel the need for a relationship?

Some people like being in a relationship and others enjoy their own company. It all depends on the person. Problems arise when you become desperate and settle for someone inappropriate. You may overshare on a first date or come across as too needy. Only when you are happy with your life and living in your own skin will amazing things happen.

In Conclusion

It is easy to forget the feeling of being single and wanting to be in a relationship. It can become all-consuming to the point where we miss out on opportunities to meet new people. Remember, love has a habit of surprising you when you least expect it. So be open-minded, say yes to more social events and live your best life. Then something amazing will happen.

Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes?
We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship.

It almost makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or whether he's just stringing you along.

Why don't you take this quick free quiz to see if he actually likes you!

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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