How to Respond to an Ex Asking How You Are (21 Clever Answers)

by April Maccario

Usually, when relationships are over, especially if your ex was the one who ended things, you never hear from them again. That’s why knowing how to respond to an ex asking how you are is a pretty important thing to understand. 

Since you probably can’t read the mind of your ex, you don’t know what the motivation behind the phone call or message really is. For this reason, I think it’s a very good idea to understand how you feel about your ex before beginning a game of ‘phone tag’ with him. 

My best advice, which I will discuss more in this post, is to ignore the text message or phone call and continue to move on with your life. The problems you two had in your relationship haven’t disappeared overnight and, most likely, won’t improve without the intervention of a third party or a serious conversation about the problems you had when you were together.

Ignoring or even blocking the number of your ex has many benefits, which we’ll go through in this post. Plus, we’ll cover the various ways you can respond to your ex texting you, so stay tuned for more goodies!

How to Respond to an Ex Asking How You Are (Great Replies)

1. Send an emoticon

send an emoticon

Now, which emoticon to choose from… Hmm. You may want to seriously think about how you feel toward your ex. A text from your ex can be very unsettling, and it’s understandable that you’d feel like that. An emoji, meme, or gif can be a fun way to show you still have a playful, fun personality but don’t have much else to say to him. 

2. Why?

If you ended things in the ugliest way, you might want to respond with something like this. Asking him why the heck he is bothering you right now is a legit response! After all, with the horrible things the two of you said to each other in the end, why would he even be messing with you like this. This also throws the ball back into his side of the court. 

Let him think up a clever way to respond to that question (especially if he was the one who broke your heart)! Making him think of another text message to send you to get you to respond appropriately will take some work on his part. It never hurts to put a guy through a little bit of pain if he caused you some, right?

3. Why do YOU care?

This response is geared in the same direction as the last one, but it’s a more direct attack, showing that you have not forgiven him for the ways in which he hurt you!

4. None of your business. 

This response may seem a bit cold, but really, it is not. There’s no reason that you can’t hold your ground when it comes to matters of the heart. If he broke yours, does he even deserve a chance to learn what’s new with you?

5. Is something wrong?

Often, when we date or marry people for long periods of time, we get to know their friends and family members pretty well. There could always be the circumstances where someone you both know is ill, has passed away or is in some kind of trouble. It never hurts to find out the truth with a response like this from text messages from your ex.

6. How’s YOUR new girl?

If you are perfectly aware that he has a new woman in his life already, a replacement for you, most likely, say something like this. The last thing you want is to come in between the two of them when it’s not any of your business. You want him to know you have no interest in being his “booty call” or whatever his intention was for contacting you. 

7. I’m fine, but I don’t care to talk to you.

There may be a rare circumstance where your ex is genuinely concerned with how you are. If you aren’t ready to bond or become friends after your breakup, go ahead and give him a curt answer like this, but also respond that you have no intention of continuing to talk to him other than what you just said about the fact that you’re fine.

8. I’m engaged.

A text like this is a suitable way to respond if you want to make sure this ex text is the last one you’ll get from him, provided he gets the hint. Text messages like this show that you have moved on. Whether you want to actually divulge the truth of what’s going on in your love life is entirely up to you, but this one should work well to get him to go away.

9. I’m happier than ever!

This is another great brush-off text that you can respond to an ex. It may be absolutely true with no malice or hurt meant by it, and he may very well interpret it that way, too. However, there is the possibility that he’ll take it to mean that you are much happier now that you two are no longer in each other’s lives. You’ve moved on and found bliss!

10. I’ve moved on!

This is a little more direct way to respond if an ex texts you. You are saying, “Yes! I’m doing so fabulous and don’t need or want you anymore because I’ve found someone new!” 

If you want to be especially vicious, you could say something like this and include that your new man is “better” than he ever was or could be!! That response leaves marks! Depending on how you broke up, you may still be feeling very angry and hurt, so when your ex texts you to see how you are, it’s easy to respond that way. 

Make sure if you do burn bridges by saying something hurtful like this, you want the consequences of your actions. However, I have said things like this to exes, and they still got in touch with me in the future, so you never know how he will react.

11. Block your ex

block your ex

If you don’t want to hear back from him ever again, block his number. Maybe, one day, if you think of something that reminds you of him or have a relevant question and need to get in touch, you could unblock him. However, for now, it’s probably best to just get him off your phone altogether. This way, getting another text won’t be an issue. 

12. Say absolutely nothing!

In my opinion, the best way to respond when an ex texts you is to not say a word, not send an emoji, and not to call him to catch up. You broke up for a reason; there’s no reason to open up old wounds by “catching up.” This is very true if you had a rough breakup, because more than likely, you or he got hurt by the whole mess. 

This is my go-to advice when it comes to exes, but there are many other reasons this is a good idea. According to Psychology Today, talking to an ex can bring up pain, prevent you from healing, make you relive mistakes, cause you to live in a fantasy that was never there, and prevent you from letting new energies in. 

13. What’s up with you?

This is a great way to turn the tables to learn more about his motivation behind these texts. You can not say anything about how you are or what you are up to, but respond with this question, making him the one on the hot seat! Find out a little more about why he’s asking how you are before giving him a straight answer!

14. I’m living life to its fullest! How about you?

Since you are ending this response with a question, you are somewhat doing what the last suggestion said to do, but you are also expressing how you are doing in a very positive way! 

Let him know you are happy with the way your life turned out and are leaving each moment to its fullest! There’s nothing wrong with showing happiness!

15. Hey! I’ve been thinking about you.

Now, we are sort of taking a shift from the types of responses you would make if you aren’t interested in replying or are still harboring very hurt feelings. In these examples, maybe you are thinking about getting back in each other’s lives, or maybe you just want to explore the possibilities. 

This isn’t a bad response and leaves you open to more dialogue if he decides to take the bait. However, this is also an appropriate way to respond if you hope that someday you can be friends again.

16. It must be kismet because I was just getting ready to text you!

This is a surefire way to get him to respond to your text. He’ll want to know exactly what it was that you were going to say to him. If you decided to go this route and leave yourself a bit vulnerable, you might want to have some clever things that you had “planned” to text him on standby for when he asks what was up. 

17. I have so much to tell you. Are you up for some coffee?

If you are looking to get your ex back, this is the perfect thing to say to him. You need to find a casual way to bring up the fact that you’d like to catch up with him. Doing so by phone may just be a little too casual. Plus, don’t you want to show off your new heels or hot red dress to remind him of what he’s missing out on?

18. Hey there! I’m going great!

Say something like this if you are like, “Oh, you were kind of the last person on my mind, but it’s great to hear from you!” The “hey there” part sells the casual elements of the message, leaving him to wonder if you are excited to hear him or if you just remembered who the heck he was!

19. I’m absolutely fantastic! Thanks for asking!

What a great way to say, “I’m doing great without you!” This reminds me of conversations on Facebook. They are either too casual or too personal for someone to post on their Facebook wall. After all, do we ALL need to know the ins and outs of your conversations? That’s what DM-ing is all about! This is giving him that hint!

20. This is unexpected!

Another brilliant way to say, “I haven’t heard from you in so long that I kind of forgot about you!” However, again, there’s the possibility that he takes this to mean, “What a pleasant surprise! How are you?” Wait! You didn’t say, “how are you?” Did you? Hmm… Another sneaky way to get him to think one thing when really you mean another.

21. What made you think of me today?

what made you think of me today

I like this response! It isn’t friendly exactly, but you don’t have to be friendly with an ex if you don’t want to be. If things didn’t end well, which is often the case, why is he asking how you are? You have a right to ask about this to see what his motivation is. 

FAQs

What to say when your ex asks how you are?

The best way to escape the grasp of your ex, who you don’t want to get back with, is to simply ignore the text, delete it to keep it off your mind, and block his number so that you won’t have to worry about going through this again.

Why is my ex asking how I'm doing?

He may hope to get back together. The more important question to ask yourself is, “Do I really want to get back together with him?” If you do, a friendly text message shouldn’t hurt, but think it through before opening that can of worms. Are there unresolved issues with him?

Should I text my ex back or ignore him?

The best course of action is to ignore him. He’s out of your life right now for a reason. You don’t want to have a repeat performance of the breakup that took you all this time to get over. Texts from exes can be confusing, so just let it go.

How do you know if your ex still cares about you?

He might do something like send you flowers on your birthday. What would you do to get your ex back? He probably has the same ideas. Exes who cared about me messaged me after the breakup to try to resolve old issues. For me, it was too little, too late!

How do you know if your ex still has feelings for you?

Ex texts can sometimes be difficult to decipher, especially if they’ve had a drink or two! You shouldn’t take ex texts too seriously; he may be playing truth or dare, or a friend or new girlfriend decided to play a joke on you. Real evidence comes in his direct actions.

To Sum Things Up…

Coming up with witty responses to an ex who is writing to you can be a challenge. Hopefully, this article gave you some insight into some possible things to say. 

I’d love to hear from you! Please discuss in the comments section and share this post with someone else who would benefit!

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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