How to Play Mind Games with a Guy (13 Ways Of Successfully Playing Mind Games)

Last updated on June 6, 2022 by April Maccario

We’ve all been left wondering at some point in our dating life what exactly is going on. You think you’ve really hit it off with this guy only for him to start playing mind games that makes you question everything. 

Is he into me? Does he need time? Is he confused? Am I reading into things? As I said, we’ve all been there.

It can be frustrating not knowing where you stand with someone. But who says you have to be on the receiving end of these mind games all the time? If you ever feel like giving men a taste of their own medicine, here’s how to return the favor in kind.

13 Ways Of Successfully Playing Mind Games

1. Don’t make things easy for him

don't make things easy for him

Even if you want nothing more than to spend time with him, act busy and make him wait/work for your attention. Men who play games never make anything easy for you, so why should you? Is he asking you on a date or trying to chat? Maintain the upper hand by evading more than you agree. Oh, and be vague with your reasons too. 

2. Send mixed signals

Playing mind games with men is easy when you know your way around words. The plan is to make him feel like the best thing since sliced bread one day, then act completely indifferent the next. 

Flirt with him, use words of affirmation, or anything else you know would make him feel special. When he starts to get comfortable, simply start treating him like another random person. If he brings up your mixed signals later, tell him it’s not him, it’s you.

3. Flaunt your options

Nothing gets the mind games going faster than flaunting the competition. You don’t want to be too overt with this, though, for plausible deniability. For instance, you can pick an admirer’s call while you two are casually hanging out. Or casually tell him about the new guys in your DM looking to link up. 

You don’t have to butter them up or anything, just being aware that there are other people is enough to keep him on his toes.

4. Jealous who?

Men love to see the girl they like act jealous when she sees them around another. If you’re playing games with this man, never give him that benefit. 

Instead of giving him attitude for talking to another woman, or whatever else you’d typically do out of jealousy, do the exact opposite. Seeing it isn’t getting to you will get an internal debate going in his mind on whether you even like him, meaning your game is paying off.

5. Confuse him with your body language

Do you know the type of eye contact that conveys deep feelings for someone without you having to say a word? Make that with him sometimes. Tease his second brain with the way you sway your hips when you want him. Smile and keep an open demeanor around him. And just after getting what you want, when he starts to think you might be into him, withdraw and go back to normal.

6. Subtly talk up the ex

In the same vein as flaunting the competition, a good way to keep men on their best behavior is to talk up your ex. If you think he might be dropping the ball and don’t want to bring it up directly, casually ‘go down memory lane’ and insert how good your ex did a certain thing or things. 

Men hate to be compared to someone else, and sometimes, it just brings out the competitiveness in them.

7. Never text first

Here’s another thing you can do to retain the upper hand, never be the first to text. Men enjoy playing this particular game as you reaching out first gives them an advantage. Well, it’s time to turn the tables around. Regardless of how well you connect or how exciting your conversations are, make sure you don’t initiate them so he keeps believing he wants you more than you do him. 

8. Flirt on social media

Apart from the fact that it may not feel right flirting with other people in front of someone you’re seeing, you may not always get the chance. Doing it on social media, however, is another ballgame – if you follow each other. There are several ways to indirectly make your guy uneasy this way, from dropping suggestive emojis under another guy’s posts to generally ‘acting single’ online.

9. Stay mysterious

If you want to toy with men’s emotions and give them something to think about, the secret is to remain a mystery to them. For every mile of ground, you cover in getting to know them, only give an inch about yourself. Two things will keep him coming back if you try this: curiosity and the feeling that someone wants to hear all about him.

10. Be passive-aggressive

be passive-aggressive

Nothing makes a man as uncomfortable as when he can’t read what is going through your mind. Do you want an advantage over him during a fight? Refuse to tell him what he did wrong. Rather, resort to giving him attitude or the silent treatment to get him to mull over all the possibilities. Or withdraw and tell him to leave you alone while your actions say entirely otherwise. 

11. Remain unpredictable

Never let a man know you enough to predict you. Try and change things up now and then to retain the power between the two of you. That is, he shouldn’t be able to say this is exactly how you feel about him, whether hot or cold, because then it wouldn’t be fun anymore, would it?

12. Never fully commit to anything

How do you achieve the previous point? Simple. Remain mysterious, mix up the signals you put out either verbally or otherwise, and, more importantly, never fully commit to anything with him. 

Even if you’re free and down to party every weekend, don’t say “yes” outrightly if he invites you. Include the clause that you’ll have to see how it goes. The same goes for any other thing he might ask of you.

13. Rinse and repeat

The idea of playing these games is to remain the catch; to have the deciding power in your interaction with the other person. For the most part, that involves knowing when to show interest, how much of it is required as well as when to hold back. Once you figure this out, all that’s really left is to rinse and repeat until one of you bows out.


How do you know if a man is playing mind games with you?

A man who is playing with you only treats you decently when he wants something. Everything he does is a means to that end. He’d never go out of his way to do anything for you if he doesn’t stand to gain from it. 

How do you play mind games with a guy who broke your heart?

You can either choose to win him at his own game or forget him completely and move on with your life. If you choose the former, start by going off his radar for a while. When you resurface, act like he doesn’t exist, and he’d actively try to reel you back in.

How do you outsmart a player?

A player’s biggest weapon is their charm. They try to boost their self-esteem by leveraging their most attractive qualities. It might be looks, words, money, or anything else. They get knocked off their game when they come across someone who seems immune to whatever they’re selling. If you can manage that, you’ve won.

Frustrated that he doesn't pay you as much attention as he used to?
This is one of the most common issues our female readers face.

It makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or not.

Take this free quiz to see if he actually likes you!

How do you play with someone’s mind?

You toy with someone’s mind by taking advantage of your position in their life or something they want from you to manipulate them into doing your bidding. This is not a healthy thing to do and shouldn’t be taken lightly as it can have lasting detrimental effects on an individual’s mental health.

How do you know if he’s playing games?

You know he’s only playing when he’s never serious until he needs you. He is either hard to reach or always making excuses unless he stands to gain something from being available. If he makes you feel bad or disappears when you call out his toxic attitude, it’s all just a game to him.

To Conclude

People who play games with me, you, or anyone else, are just like us, they just try to think smarter and trickier. While I usually advise not to pay evil with evil, it’s best to be equipped if it came down to it. If you enjoyed reading this, please leave a comment and feel free to share the article with others.

Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes?
We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship.

It almost makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or whether he's just stringing you along.

Why don't you take this quick free quiz to see if he actually likes you!

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

2 comments on “How to Play Mind Games with a Guy (13 Ways Of Successfully Playing Mind Games)”

  1. HI April. I chanced upon reading your blog coz it intrigues me. I met this guy at church last year. We've been friends then, he started to act weird when I left the church and transferred to another one. He started to meet me often for dinner, movies and showed/shared me about his life. He became more open to me. I became so confused that I ask him if he is courting me and he said no, he only sees me as a sister and a close friend. I got so hurt but managed to get back up and accept him again as a friend. But the problem started coz the more I see hm, the more I am hurt. I feel rejected. Its like he only wants what he can get of me (listening ears, eating my home cooked meals for free, encouraging him etc) and I was left empty and sad in the end. My friend says he is playing mind games with you so you better distance yourself off him. Through your blog, I was able to understand clearly what mind games is. How I wish I knew it sooner to gain control. I feel like I loose in the mind game but I can still win in the end so I am distancing from him and deleting all his messages and pictures in my phone. I also unfollowed him in fb and viber. Now, I am still healing from this game that he set and hopefully, gain back the control to myself.

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