Most of us have had a crush on someone we knew we couldn’t have. Being miles out of your league usually adds to the allure. Since celebrities are often the subject of teen fantasy, imagine the one your 15-year-old self liked was a bit more available, but for the tiny issue of not liking you back.
Would you have tried to make him see the more lovable ‘you’ or given up altogether? Think about those eyes you loved deeply before you answer. That was an attempt at a relatable scenario.
The point is, not everyone knows how to turn off their feelings when the person they like doesn’t feel the same way, especially when both of you have been friends. When people you see as nothing more than friends suddenly start wanting more, and all efforts to make them give up prove futile, you may need to nudge them there yourself.
Making someone dislike you may feel a little extreme, but it may be justified if your admirer won’t listen otherwise. It is also handy when you value their friendship too much to just rip the bandage off. If you’re trying to shake someone off, then the list below should help you out.
Before you do anything, ensure your words align with your thinking. You know how you get bored of an admirer’s attention and want it to stop, but still, get sad when it does? Be sure this isn’t one of those times before you embark on a quest to get the person to stop liking you.
Taking a moment to assess your decision saves you both some stress in the future. Not liking someone is one thing, but putting them through unnecessary pain because of your indecision is unfair. And that’s precisely what will happen if you send mixed signals.
Once you are sure, you can then begin to communicate it to them. It is advisable to let this communication take place with your actions first before talking to them. A way to achieve this is to set clear boundaries and be firm enough so they don’t get confused.
Depending on your friendship with this person, draw the line by ceasing all forms of flirtation and sharing personal stuff with them. If you are lucky, just doing this will be enough to get this person you’re friends with to back off.
If they continue to pester you after drawing a line, it’s time to get verbal. I don’t mean to resort to insults, only that you use your words to communicate your disinterest in their affection. Unfortunately, some people can’t take a hint if it hits them in the face, that is why a direct approach is necessary if you want a clean break.
Figure out the best way to have that conversation with them. If you and the person are friends, you could arrange to meet in person. Or else, you can pass the message across just as well over the phone.
Whether you choose to rip the bandage off in person or over the phone, the important thing is that they get the message clearly. Being vague about where you stand is how you give them false hope, and that just prolongs the issue unnecessarily.
Don’t try to soften the blow by saying some cliché line; “I wish things were different” or “it’s not you, it’s me.” Keep the conversation short and casual and make sure to get your position across as directly as you can manage.
I have to say there is a difference between being honest or direct and being mean, and most times, people like to use the latter. Leading the person on doesn’t help either of you in the long run, but finding a way to be tactful in your delivery might help cushion their pain.
However, if applying tact means sending a vague message, then you are not being mean by saying it is as it is. The point is that you shouldn’t go out of your way to be mean to them unless what you are really going for is to get them to hate you.
The best way to make someone dislike you is by allowing them to feel it happened more intentionally; however, you don’t have to be mean about it.
Sometimes, putting up an appropriate wall between you might not be enough to deter some people, especially friends. Either out of desperation or simply not being able to take no for an answer, the individual you are trying to dissuade might try all they can to look for a crack.
That means they will search for any opening to hold out hope that there could be something there. It is on you to not give them that chance by not being overly nice or flirty with them.
Whatever you do, be firm in your stance and stay consistent with the boundaries you set up. That’s the only way to make sure the message gets across without mixed interpretations.
Are you friends with this person you’re trying to get to dislike you? Are they becoming too overbearing for you to handle? Do they cling to you even though their presence and words are clearly toxic for you?
There are friends that stick around you, and may genuinely even feel close to you, but their words cut deeper than a karambit knife.
They’ll have you asking questions like “why do people not like me?” or “why doesn’t anyone like me?” because they’ll somehow try to isolate everyone else. Friends that act this way are hard to let go of, but instead of cutting them off totally, simply reduce the time you spend with them, stop talking to them about personal things, and make sure the relationship dies a natural death.
The idea is for this person to dislike a bit, not more than they already do. One of the easy ways to achieve this is to stop engaging them altogether. But if this isn’t an option, you can try shutting them out. Since being vulnerable with an individual is one of the fastest ways to connect with them, doing the opposite is how you achieve what you want.
Therefore, don’t share personal stuff with them or ask for their help with anything even if you two are friends. Running in the same circle means your paths will inevitably cross, but you can limit the effect of that by keeping to yourself more.
You send a mixed signal when you say you’re not interested in someone but still let them spend time with you. Socializing with somebody who has a crush on you may not mean much more than an ego boost to you, but it might cause them to hold onto their feelings for you.
If in your situation, saying an outright ‘no’ all the time would have an awkward effect, you can just keep coming up with an excuse till they get the hint. Get ‘so busy’ that nothing that concerns them makes it to your schedule.
If you think flaunting the guy you’re seeing in front of another who is into you is a petty move, that’s because it is. However, desperate times, as they say, call for desperate measures. When your attempts at taking the moral high ground continue to fall on deaf ears, descending just a little bit may not be the worst idea.
Thankfully, good old jealousy is an emotion you can count on as everyone gets it when we see the one we love ‘replace’ us. Though you shouldn’t be making small talk with somebody you’re trying to deter, telling him all about how great your new boyfriend or crush is could serve your purpose.
Unfortunately, using instinct as primal as jealousy could easily backfire. While it may serve the intended purpose of getting your admirer to back off, some people may take it as a challenge to out-best your lover, and things may get messy from there.
A less chaotic option is to ignore their existence altogether. Sometimes, trying too hard to show the person you don’t like them makes it look as if you still care to an extent. Remember, silence is also a message. When you don’t pay any mind to what they do, and just carry on with your life, it tells them you mean business.
Alienating an individual from your group of friends may seem extreme, but only if you were all together before they started liking you. If they are only a part of the group because of their affiliation with you, there is no reason to keep involving them in your joint activities.
Not isolating them only gives them another leverage to try and stay connected. If you really don’t want that then it’s best to just cut them off.
On the other hand, getting your other friends to turn their backs on the person you’re trying to rid yourself of may not be as easy if they have as much claim in the group as you. Instead of letting that stop you from hanging out with your friends, you can reach out to others to stage an intervention.
Sure, it might be a little embarrassing, but putting it all out there means you’re not just playing hard to get and should be enough to get them to back off.
Out of sight, out of mind. Maybe not out of their mind immediately, but it takes you out of their sight and vice versa. Restricting your interaction with someone you don’t like shouldn’t only be limited to face-to-face contact.
Everything happens on social media these days, people fall in love via the internet without having ever seen each other in real life. Restricting their access to your online presence cuts off most of their access to you, and that’s exactly how you asphyxiate unwanted attention.
Bringing someone else in might be your last option when all attempts to be reasonable fails. Don’t keep it to yourself as you may have an obsessive love situation on your hands. Carry your friends along, let them know all the details.
Then tell your parents or the police if you feel unsafe. You could also reach out to a counselor if unsure of how to deal with the situation. In the meantime, keep your distance and stay safe.
All it takes to make a person dislike you is to do the opposite of things that endear you to them. Eradicate any form of common grounds you may share and pay little or no attention to them. Don’t leave room for connecting, even if that means blocking them on social media.
You can try and change the subject from the one you’re being questioned on to something else you’re comfortable talking about. If it helps, take a moment before you answer to get your thoughts together. You can also tell the person asking that you’d rather not answer or nicely decline to.
Asking questions that help you get to know them better might work as that gives room for establishing a connection. That, after all, is what falling in love is about.
Let your body language be welcoming, that is, smile often when you’re with them, make eye contact as well. Also, expressing an interest in what they love and sharing a common ground with the individual you want to win over could go a long way.
Be confident in your resolve as he can pick up on it, then have a conversation with him and try to be as direct as possible in making your disinterest in him known. Afterward, reduce all forms of engagement with him both physically and online. If he still doesn’t back off, cut him off completely.
I hope you enjoyed reading through this list. Remember to put your safety first and carry your friends along if it gets out of hand. I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject, so please drop them in the comments and share the post with others.