How To Initiate Sex (21 Sexy Ways)

Last updated on June 9, 2022 by April Maccario

Isn’t it kind of a shame that men are always the ones initiating sex? Would you love it if just for once you were the one that could initiate? Or perhaps you prefer it because you’re not sure how to start sex without being awkward

However you feel about women initiating sex, the truth is that although men are typically more likely to be the ones to initiate sex, it’s a big turn on for them when a woman takes the lead. 

However, because women are rarely the ones taking the lead, you may not be sure of, or you don’t know the ways to initiate sex, or you may be scared of rejection. But there’s absolutely no need to worry, this article has you covered. 

We are going to take a look at the best ways to initiate sex, as well as how to initiate sex without fear of rejection, so you’ll be the one inviting your partner into your arms, rather than the other way around.

Getting Rid Of The Fear of Rejection

If you’re a woman that’s scared about getting rejected by your partner if you try to initiate sex, you’re not alone. Due to the fact that men are typically the ones that try and put sex on the table, you may be terrified of the roles reversing and you may have a lack of experience with seduction, or quite possibly none at all.

The first thing you need to realize is quite honestly the thing you’re most scared about - yes, he may reject you. This probably isn’t going to be the case, but think about how many times you’ve rejected your partner whilst they’re initiating? Probably a lot. So, if your partner doesn’t want to have sex with you, don’t panic, you may have just initiated at the wrong time.

So, it’s important to choose the right moment. For example, a great moment would be when you’re cuddling on the sofa, and a not so great moment is before he’s about to work out the door for a very important business meeting. Do you see? It’s all about picking the time wisely.

Also, you’ve got to get rid of this fear, because after all, if someone wants to be with you, they want to be with you, and if they do reject you,  they’re not rejecting you as a person or stopping the relationship the two of you share, they are just simply not in the mood to get it on.

21 Ways To Put It On Him

1. Tell him straight up

It might be daunting to tell your guy straight up that you want to have sex with him, but it’s actually one of the boldest and therefore hottest ways to do so. You can simply say something like, “I want to take you into the bedroom and have sex with you so bad right now”. 

2. Slip him some tongue

A classic and simple way to let your partner know that you want to have sex with them is by adding some tongue into a kiss with them. You don’t have to go to town with it and french kiss them like crazy, but just simply hold a kiss for longer and ease your tongue into their mouth. You might want to touch their body whilst you do so. They’ll get the signal.

3. Kiss down his body

Kissing down your partner’s body slowly will really get them going. Start off by kissing your partner on the lips, then move to the neck and just keep heading south. By the time you reach your partner’s groin area, you’ll definitely be able to see that he’s excited and ready for you.

4. Press up against him in bed

Whilst your partner is spooning you, you can press your bum against them a little bit harder than you would otherwise, and start to move your hips slowly. They’ll clock onto the fact you’re slowly gyrating on them and will understand exactly what you want.

5. Offer to give him a massage

Offer to give him a massage

Naked massages between two people that find each other attractive will almost always end up with sex. Offering to give your partner a massage is a great way to set the mood up for sex. You can get him to take his clothes off, get the oils flowing and slowly massage his body, ending with you giving him a very special happy ending. 

6. Text them what you want to do to them later

Sexting someone is probably the most obvious way to let them know that you want them. You can send your partner a text throughout the day telling him what you’re going to do to him later, and he’ll be ready for you when he gets home. He also then has the whole day to get excited about it.

7. Welcome them home in your lingerie

Put on your hottest lingerie set and welcome your partner home whilst wearing it. He’ll find this incredibly attractive, and you might even find yourself making love in the hallway.

8. Whisper dirty talk in their ear

Dirty talk isn’t for the faint-hearted, so practicing what you’re going to say might help. But, whilst you’re out in public together or even just sat on the sofa at home, you can whisper naughty things into his ear, which will really put him in the mood for you.

9. Have a bath together

There’s not much cuter than lovers taking a bath together, but as much as it’s adorable and romantic, it’s also incredibly hot and steamy. Pour the bubble bath in, grab a bottle of wine and snuggle up in the tub with your man with your hands roaming all around.

10. Hop into his shower

Shower sex is amazing, and those only one way to initiate it - by getting in the shower with your partner for sex! So, the next time your partner takes a shower, get in after him and start kissing him under the water. 

11. Wake him up by running your hands over his body

Although not everyone is a fan of it, morning sex is great, especially for the person that’s been woken up. So, next time you wake up earlier than your man, brush your hands all over his body to wake him up, as it’ll feel great for him. Once he’s awake, you can take control and get on top of him. He will certainly go to work with a smile on his face.

12. Striptease for him

Stripteases are a little bit daunting, but they’re also extremely hot. As long as you feel comfortable dancing around and removing your clothes layer by layer, your man will go crazy over this, and it’s obvious that you’re initiating sex with him.

13. Buy a sex toy for you both

Sex toys aren’t for one person to use only, and they can bring a lot of fun into intimate relationships. So, go and get a sex toy and ask your partner to have fun trying it out with you. 

14. Tell them you’re not wearing any underwear in public

Your man will feel like he can’t control himself if you tell him that you’re not wearing any underwear whilst you’re out with him in public. This is pretty much every guy’s dream, and he’ll be sure to pick up on the hint and make love to you at the earliest opportunity.

15. Put his hand up your skirt

If you’re sat at home watching TV, or even out an about in public if you’re a more adventurous couple, you can let your partner know you want to have sex with them by putting their hand up your skirt and letting them feel you. Your partner will go crazy for this.

16. Leave a note for him

You can leave a sexy note for him to see at some point during his day, or when he comes home from work. Like a love note, you don’t have to write loads, but you can just say something naughty, dirty, or tell him to be ready for you at a certain time.

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17. Touch him whilst he drives

As long as your partner is a competent driver and isn’t going to get really excited to the point where they may crash the car, you can brush over your partner’s penis or give it a stroke through their jeans while they drive. Next thing you know, you’ll be having car sex.

18. Invite him, like a date

A great and simple way to get your guy into bed with you is by simply asking. You can ask if he’d like to make love to you, then tell him when to be ready for. It’s like inviting him for a date, just a sex date.

19. Ask him about sexual fantasies

Talking about sex often leads to sex, so ask about your partner’s fantasies and discuss yours too. You’ll likely end up acting these fantasies out someday, but at this moment, you’ll most likely just be having really exciting sex.

20. Make a schedule together

Making a sex schedule is a great idea in a long term relationship when things have dwindled slightly, and although it doesn’t sound ultra-sexy, it actually can be. Sit down one night and hash out a plan for when you’re going to dedicate time to each other to be sexually intimate.

21. Create a sex game together

Create a sex game together

A fun way to start sex with your partner that also may be ongoing is by creating a sex game for the two of you to play. You can find an array of positions and you have to try a new one every week or perhaps you write sexual tasks on cards and each has to pick one every day to do to each other.


How do I get my boyfriend to initiate sex?

If you’re not willing to be the one to initiate sex, there are some things you can do to try and get your boyfriend to initiate it. You can increase other kinds of intimacy and connection, you could tease him by wearing a sultry outfit or you could invite him into the shower or a bath innocently. However, if you really want your partner to initiate sex more, you need to communicate with them openly and honestly.

How do you initiate sex in a long term relationship?

In a long term relationship you should have clear and honest communication with your partner. So if you’re wanting to initiate sex more, you should first try to communicate that with them. After you have shared how you’re feeling with your partner, you can try any of the things listed in this article, such as play a dirty game, striptease, play out fantasies and even purchase a sex toy to play with together.

How can I approach for sex?

There are some really great tips on how to approach someone for sex in this article, so take a look at the points above in more detail. You can try and tease someone, increase intimacy in other ways, dirty talk, get cheeky in public or simply communicate with someone that you want them. 

How do I make him sexually addicted to me?

One of the best ways to make someone want you all the time is by teasing them regularly. If you’re always teasing them, then they’re always chasing something, and men love to chase! As well as teasing them, make sure you’re not selfish in the bedroom and that you keep it exciting and fresh.

How do I make my partner scream in bed?

There are many ways to make your partner scream in bed, from using new sex moves to perfecting oral techniques, you just have to think about what you think will work best with your partner and then do it. If you’re wanting to make someone scream in the bedroom, remember to take time with them and don’t be a selfish lover.

Everything Considered,

With all of these ideas and all of the knowledge you’ve just soaked up, it’s time for you to start initiating sex with your man. Try not to be too serious, just have fun with it and see how it goes. It’s pretty certain your man will love what you’re doing, so don’t be nervous.

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April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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