How To Have Sex With Yourself (71 Masturbation Tips)

Last updated on June 15, 2022 by April Maccario

Masturbation is that part of puberty nobody wants to talk about. It is forbidden, looked down on ignored. However, that doesn’t make solo sex less popular; almost every lady has sex toys that get her off on those sexually frustrating days. 

Solo sex is said to be one of the most intimate sexual activities, which is true because guess what? You're doing it with yourself and by yourself. Plus, we’re constantly learning from sex guru’s how exploring your body can improve the sex life with your partner. 

There's also an art to solo sex; learning how this works could give you the best sexual experience you’ve had in your life. Sex should be about discovering who you are and what you enjoy, and sometimes, you have to do that yourself. 

Are you still on the fence about masturbation? Here are some sexual tips that should help you enjoy the good of sex better.


71 Masturbation Tips

1. You're going to need wine

you're going to need wine

You need a boost, and that's usually what alcohol is for. It puts you in the mood and helps you get in your feelings quickly. Other than that, it's boring to spread your legs and dig into yourself. 

2. Mirror your partner's moves

This is where women in relationships thrive, they already have a man they like or are in love with, so it's less creepy to picture him doing things to you because it's what he usually does. 

3. Fantasize

Create a fantasy in your head about a man you like and picture him pleasuring you. There has to be someone you're into for this to work, even if it's a celebrity, nobody cares. It's a fantasy.

4. Find your spots

Your spot could be at home, the living room, your car, or even in your office. Find that safe zone you can loosen up and enjoy giving yourself pleasure

5. Shut the door

Wherever your spot is, don't forget to shut the door or at least keep it private (if you want). They're women who enjoy making a show out of things like this.

6. Lights off

Turn the lights off to get more comfortable with yourself. If you’re someone who enjoys sex with the lights off, this won’t be a problem for you and would put you in the mood quickly. 

7. Lights on

Keeping the lights on is kinky as well. This way, you see what you’re doing, and you can tell what your body does at every cringe or pleasurable reaction to your touch. 

8. Get a playlist

Just like a typical sex playlist works, you need a good one for masturbation as well. It heightens the sensation of everything, plus you can imagine yourself in that music video. 

9. Over the phone

Touching yourself over the phone to someone's voice is very creepy if you're not in a relationship with this person or if the other party is unaware of your activities. Other than that, it's fun. 

10. Take a mirror

When you sit in front of a mirror, you can see what's going on down there. It turns some women on to see themselves touch themselves; maybe that would work for you as well. 

11. Find a comfortable pillow

A comfortable pillow during masturbation always fixes everything or at least makes the activity more pleasant. 

12. Watch others

You won't be able to get it right with self-love if you haven't at least seen a clip of someone indulging in the act. Good thing you can just look it up online; that can turn you on as well. 

13. Tease yourself

You can have mental foreplay by watching all those romance movies with sex scenes and even flirting with a guy you like right before the act, that works as well. 

14. Vibrator

What’s solo sex without a vibrator? You could take the experience up a notch with the different settings available on a vibrator.

15. Take a shower

take a shower

You don't want to touch yourself when you're not clean down there. It's not only going to be uncomfortable but disgusting as well. Take a good shower and relax. 

16. Focus on the clit

As a lady, I'm assuming you already know that the clitoris is the most sensitive part of the vagina. Keep your focus on that area but be tender. 

17. Try out everything

Make a list of everything you know about masturbation and try them out one by one. This would help spice up your sex life as well. 

18. Don’t jackhammer your clit

Don’t make your clitoris the only spot you explore.

19. Give your partner a show

Having your man watch you might make things even more interesting.

20. Massage first

Use some massage oil and gently rub the area before gearing up for the real action.

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21. De-stress

Showering, drinking, or just taking off your clothes to slip into a comfortable position helps you de-stress. Massages and music work as well. 

22. Create a mental date

Set a certain date and time to make things even more mysterious and thrilling.

23. Dirty daydreams

Dirty daydreams put you in an excellent mood to touch yourself. If your imagination can run wild, it's easier to please yourself. 

24. Lie on your back

Laying on your back also gives full access to your private part and doubles up as a great way to relax.

25. Be comfortable

Always get a comfortable position before you start. You don’t want to hurt yourself during self-sex or do something that would traumatize you for a while. 

26. Lube

They are special lubes made for sexual activity. Use them interchangeably instead of oils. 

27. Don't try too much

Not everyone can have sex on their own, if it's not working for you, let it go. 

28. Read about it

Read a lot of novels or articles about solo sex, just like this one. They’ll give insights on how to pleasure yourself when you’re masturbating. 

29. Play around with depth

Use your fingers to check how far down you can go and which spots give the most pleasure.

30. Enjoy it

If you’re too tense, you’ll miss out on the fun. Try to focus more on the experience than how well you’re doing. 

31. Don’t feel guilty

The only way to get in there and have fun with yourself is to detach from guilt, if you feel guilty or edgy, you won’t enjoy the experience.

32. Switch things up

Combine two or more styles you know just for fun, or just to experience what it feels like. 

33. Practice

You may not get this right the first ten times, but there's no harm in trying again. 

34. Close your eyes

close your eyes

Closing your eyes during masturbation helps you focus. You’re able to let your imagination run wild with what you are doing to yourself. It’s easy to get distracted with your eyes open

35. Try an oral sex stimulant

An oral sex stimulator is a sex toy that gives you the illusion of oral sex. It can do wonders

36. Have fun in the shower

Getting down and dirty in the shower won’t be a bad idea, just remember not to use soap as a lubricant.

37. Anal stimulation

Not everyone enjoys or is open to anal stimulation, but you never really know until you try. If you have and it's your thing, go ahead and indulge. I'm not sure, but I hear it works as well. 

38. Learn about your lady parts

It's essential to know your lady parts and their functions, do a little biology class to jump-start your memory if you have to. 

39. Focus

Your mind and body have to be present and focused on the act for you to enjoy the process. 

40. Try the tub

Run warm water and get soaked in your favorite bubble bath soap.

41. Start with small pleasure

Don't move too fast; do the little things first.

42. Find a rhythm

Just like there's a pace, there is a rhythm for this. You can only hear it if you pay attention to your body while you're caressing different parts of your body. 

43. Drop the toys for a while

You don't need to take out the toys every time. Sometimes, be old-fashioned. Grab a pillow or use your hand to give yourself good love. 

44. Avoid hot balms

Oh, dear, stay away from hot balms. Especially when your hands are working down there. This could move from pleasure to pain real quick, and I'm sure you don't want that. 

45. Put on that sexy lingerie

You can still get your kinky on whether you have a partner or not. 

46. Two fingers

Try two fingers for the perimeter if you get too used to doing it with one finger. 

47. Ease into it

Don’t hold yourself back from the pleasure. At first, you will feel weird. However, if you ease into the feeling and imagine enjoying it, you actually will. It's not rocket science, trust me. 

48. Pillow hump

It might seem like a baby step but it does the trick. Sometimes, you might just be in the mood to go soft and slow with yourself. 

49. Make a show of it

make a show of it

You can make a show in your head by yourself. 

50. Choose a pace

Pick a pace that gives you joy. Are you in the mood for something fast and rough? Or do you want it slow and romantic? Whatever you decide, stick to it or interchange fairly. 

51. Get a coach

Ask a close friend to teach you. Your girlfriend or sister can show you the ropes, all you have to do is ask nicely.

52. Have a goal

Some people masturbate for pleasure, others are trying to get to know their body better. Some do it to spice up sex with their partners, what’s your motive?

53. Try it in the morning

Just like morning sex, morning masturbation is good as well and very relaxing. Especially if the nighttime doesn’t work for you.

54. Breathe

Don't get so caught up; remember to take a breath. 

55. Find a style

There’s the clit stimulation, fingering, anal stimulation, and others. Find a style that works for you and stick to it. For a style to work for you, you have to try it and like it. 

56. Pay attention to your body

Keep an open mind when you start exploring your body. Also, pay attention to how self-pleasuring makes you feel, and don’t forget to make a mental note of your G-spots. 

57. Love your hands

Whether you’re using toys or lubrication, you need your hands. Your hands are your best tools during masturbation, you need to be comfortable using them throughout your experience

58. Don’t force it

If you’re not feeling yourself during self-sex, stop. You don’t have to get a happy ending every time. And sometimes, it does feel off once you start. 

59. Find your G-spots

The G-spot is an erogenous area that could give great pleasure if you know where to find it. So, whenever you touch that place or do that new thing, make a mental note. 

60. On the couch

Lay a sheet over the couch to avoid stains (the part no one tells you). Find a comfortable spot to spread your legs and dig into your business. 

61. Take breaks

This shouldn't always be on your calendar, give your body some time out.

62. Outdoors

Touching yourself outdoors is sexy, dangerous, and fun at the same time. It gives you the feeling of living on the edge, especially since you’re worried about getting caught (or not). 

63. Try it through your clothes

try it through your clothes

Touching yourself through your clothes is a sensual way of pleasing yourself. You’re not directly touching your genitals but you’re playing around the area and tricking your mind. 

64. Get yourself toys

Don’t just go out for any sex toy on the market. Start with the smaller ones like vibrators before moving onto dildos or switching to more complicated toys. Toys make self-love a lot kinkier. 

65. Oil

Oils can be used as a lubricant to make your entire body slippery and soothing to touch. The shiny effect of oil is also really appealing to look at, so that can turn you on as well. 

66. Nipples

Nipples are one of the most sensitive parts of a woman’s body apart from the clitoris. Running your fingers around your nipples would get you in the mood to get down on yourself. 

67. Fingering

Fingering is an art. You don’t just jab your fingers up and down. That’ll feel very awkward and less pleasurable. Learn the motion and pace of fingering. 

68. Start with one finger

Don’t put your entire hand in at once when you’re not used to that size. One finger is good for first-timers and perfect for achieving that soothing stimulation. 

69. Be gentle

When you start touching yourself for the first time, be gentle. Ease yourself into the pleasure of exploring your body. 

70. Be in control of every sensation

Make sure you savor in every moment. If you like a certain feeling, remember what you did to achieve it. Take control and memorize every feeling so you know what gets you on.

71. Don't rush

Gradually explore what part of your body does it for you; your boobs, ass, or the vagina itself.

To Conclude

There's no way you won't have a happy ending with either of the tips mentioned above. Just be patient enough to find what works for you and indulge. Let me know your thoughts in the comment section, and please share this article with your friends. 

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April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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