Whatever your case may be, whether your man tells you he needs space in the relationship, takes it without letting you know, or claims he’s okay, but his actions clearly state otherwise, I know how you feel. First comes the fear of losing him and then the crippling anxiety.
I understand that the sudden change in behavior after months or years of consistency can be challenging and leave you confused about what to do. But there is a possibility that giving him space will give both of you time to work on yourselves; your relationship would be stronger for it.
The way you react will have enormous effects on your relationship moving forward. So, here are 27 ways to give your man space but not lose him.
This was probably not the first thing you expected to see on the list, but not letting out all the feelings that come with your partner asking for space will only make you overly aggressive.
So feel every emotion, whether it’s fear, anger, tears, or sadness. Allow them to flow out; it is totally okay to feel this way.
You may feel like something horrible will happen if you don’t spend time with your boyfriend. What you don’t know is, it’s actually healthy to give your man the space he needs.
The anxiety that comes with the fear of losing someone you love is crippling, and you need to calm down to think and know exactly what to do.
Breathe and control your fears; you need to trick your mind into believing that everything is alright so that you can think clearly and also execute your next line of action seamlessly.
Now that you are calm listen attentively. He said he needed some time alone, and while it might sound like he’s breaking up with you, it probably has nothing to do with ending the relationship. He is probably just overwhelmed by other aspects of his life and does not want to spread himself too thin for the sake of his mental health.
He probably feels lost and is trying to find himself. Whatever his reason may be, make him feel heard by listening to what he has to say.
“Why on earth should I give my boyfriend space? We’re in a relationship, and we’re supposed to spend time together!” Yes, I know, but maybe you’re a little self-centered here. Sometimes, guys need an outlet, just some time to breathe and return stronger.
Don’t feel he’s doing this because he’s tired of you or wants out; he may just need some days to himself. After all, he should sieve out any negative energy to keep being his best self in the relationship.
It’s not advisable to do this immediately after he asks for some time apart. Yes, it’s your right to know, so sit him down and talk about it days after you have assessed the situation. This is so you won’t say the wrong things and be in a better frame of mind to have a healthy conversation.
It is important to know the next time you can contact him now that you will be spending time apart. Whatever you do, ensure that you get some form of agreement on when next to see each other.
“Do you hate me?” “Did I do something?” “Why do you want this?” “Is there another person?” “Is it because of the woman you are talking to?”
Reading these questions right now, how does it make you feel? Don’t pester him with so many questions. While it’s not wrong to ask questions, you’ll make him feel caged and irritated.
So wait for the right time to ask, and don’t ask like you know the reason already. Say, “Are you ready to talk about the reason we’re taking time apart?”
Men deal with emotional problems differently; they prefer to retreat and sort things out personally, even when they’re in a relationship. You cannot change how he is, and neither can you control how he deals with his problems.
Try to be empathetic; your man may need time alone to sort some personal issues out. Your relationship with him is not the only thing he has to think about, so let him have all the time he needs to sort his other issues out.
This is what your man wants; that you accept and respect his decisions. Don’t bug him to change his mind because of your selfish interests. It may not be what you want at the moment but respect him as an individual.
A relationship is a two-way street. If your partner wants something and it is within your capacity to help out, then do so. He wants space, then let him have it. It may be tough to adjust to, but respect what he wants anyway.
You might want to retaliate to hurt his feelings because asking for space really hurt your feelings. It made you feel insignificant to him. I understand how you feel, but punishing him or looking for ways to retaliate will only push him further apart.
Ensure that he knows that you are not mad or resentful. If he thinks you are angry at him, it will stress him further and the chances are that he won’t call you back for fear of experiencing your wrath when he is through with dealing with his internal struggles.
Once you have decided to give him space, don’t call or text him constantly. I know this is really hard to do. You are used to checking on him constantly or sharing a funny thing that happened the other day with him. Well, all that has to be suspended for now.
There is nothing wrong with a “just checking on you” text once in 2 weeks, but it’s important to know not to initiate calls when he asks for space. He hasn’t forgotten about you; he will call you in his own time.
So you are not sending him 101 text messages every 10 minutes but you just created a new burner account to monitor him on social media.
Whose joke is he laughing at? Is he retweeting posts about break-ups? I thought he was sad; why is he posting pictures of his dog with a funny picture? Stalking him on social media will make you crazy; just avoid those platforms for now.
I mean, why he asked for space was for you to reduce your availability in his life. If you are always at his service, he might feel you are too smitten, and that might be too much attention for him to handle in the relationship.
Don’t do things for him before he asks for them; just calm down and let him call for you in his own time.
It is only realistic to pursue or try to convince him that he doesn’t need space. You want him, so you chase him. Well, this will only make the space wider. It will push him further and paint you as a very desperate woman.
Men hate drama, so don’t beg or threaten him. He will eventually return on his own, and not because you dragged him.
This is as hard as not calling him, if not harder. However, worrying won’t change anything; it will only put you in a terrible mood and make you come off as obsessed. I fully understand that you are afraid; remember, I was once in your shoes. Maybe this is the beginning of the end, maybe not, but whatever is meant to be for you will always find you.
Who knows if this is a test? Who knows if your partner wants to see how independent you are and how you don’t need him to be a functioning human being.
So, trick your mind into believing that. I would say “everything will be okay” numerous times in the mirror just to trick my mind. Try it as well. You could also try writing if saying it out loud doesn’t work for you.
Stop spending all your time and energy wondering and thinking of various scenarios in your head. Focus all your energy on making yourself happy. See this as a good thing and use it as a time to eventually get yourself in a better place physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Learn a new skill, take on new courses, try a new recipe, take an art class, do volunteer work, just do something. Remember an idle man is a devil's workshop. So, cherish yourself, and learn to love yourself outside of your relationship.
This will reduce your obsessiveness, so go out with your friends and family. Go out with the people that love you. Stay in the midst of so much love and laughter; this may help you take your mind off the relationship.
The thing about giving each other space is that you have the opportunity to breathe, relax and rejuvenate before coming back together. It may not seem logical, but learning how to be independently happy will help your relationship in the long wrong.
Do exactly what your man is doing to you, get space from him too. If you give him a taste of his own medicine, he will understand the gravity of his actions, and he might even change his mind.
That’s right, look perfect like you stepped out the front page of a Vogue magazine. People, especially men in relationships, tend to forget how bomb and perfect their partner is. So while you are both on a break, work on looking great not just for you man, but yourself as well.
Rather than sending a text message, you could just send a picture of the both of you at a very happy place in the relationship and caption it “see what I found.”
This could evoke happy moments in the relationship and have him running back to you in no time. Ensure you don’t go overboard, don’t send ten pictures at a time. Keep it minimal.
Men are very competitive, so use that against him. Women can make anything happen, you and I know this is true. So what you are going to do is, find a way to let him know other men want you by not really letting him know.
Try mentioning it casually to a mutual friend and watch him run back to you like a lost puppy.
Whatever happens at the end, you won! Two things can happen: you can either get back together or go your separate ways. If he comes back to you which I can almost guarantee, then your relationship will come back stronger and better.
However, if you go your separate ways, then understand that he was never meant for you from the beginning.
Understand that whatever is yours will come back to you. So while giving him space, be happy and revel in your own space. It might be hard but go back to being the happy woman he first fell in love with.
This might be hard, as the no contact rule applies when you are giving your partner space. You can contact him minimally; I personally recommend you text him once every two weeks.
It worked for me, so YES! It brought us together stronger and better. Now I’m not going to lie to you and say It was easy; it wasn’t. I cried myself to bed most times, but eventually, we got back together.
I have listed 27 ways to go about that in the article, but the most important is actually “giving him space.” Let him feel your absence from his life a little; remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Yes! Asides from making you miss him, it makes him value you more and never want to let you go. He would remember how miserable he was without you in the future and never want that again.
I hope you enjoyed reading every part of this article? Understand that when your partner needs space, it’s not about you. They might be fighting an internal battle. Also, remember that he is not asking for a breakup; he just needs some time off. No matter how hard it might be for you, respect and accept his decisions.
Don’t forget to let me know what you think in the comment section and share this article if you loved it.