How To Get Him To Propose (25 Ways To Get Him To Propose)

by April Maccario

You’ve found a man who loves and adores you; you’ve both been together for a while, and yet he still seems to be really into you. To you, he’s your perfect man. Unfortunately, he seems to be avoiding one thing; proposing to you. Whenever you bring up marriage, he either tries to change the topic or avoid it altogether. 

However, you know that he’s the man for you, and you’re not ready to give up, so you’ve decided to take matters into your own hands. If this is you, then you’ve come to the right place. 

As a woman, who despises long-term relationships that are heading nowhere, I’ve done my research on how to seal the deal. So buckle up, and I’ll give you a few tips on how to get him to propose.

25 Ways To Get That Engagement Ring

1. Be sure that he’s actually ready

Men aren’t as clueless and careless as many women think they are; they know what is best for them. For them, when the time is right, they’ll settle down, get married, and even have some kids. Most times, men hold back when they know they aren’t financially prepared for a wedding or a family. 

They may not be mentally prepared for what comes afterward either (like fatherhood), or they don’t think they have what it takes yet to be a good husband to you. Men would hardly ever be open to you about these things. They’re solution-oriented and would prefer to sort it out on their own rather than vent about it as a woman would do. 

So what you need to do first of all is to be sure that he’s truly ready to get married — either by having a conversation with him or perhaps asking his closest friends or family members.

2. Do not pressure him

do not pressure him

Whatever you do, resist the need to put pressure on him. In most women’s minds, they feel the logical thing to do is to remind him constantly. However, this is not how to get your boyfriend to propose. Pressuring him might end up pushing him away

There are specific perfect moments where you could strategically discuss your future together. Bringing it up every other day is really not the best and may even ruin your chances permanently.

3. Let him realize how perfect you are for him

Marriage is forever, and every man is well aware of this. They need to be sure that they aren’t attaching themselves to any woman who is not a source of peace and happiness to them. Therefore you’d need to be there for him selflessly and learn the things he loves. If you’re going to get married to this guy, he needs to see that you compliment him

If getting married to you is something he’s going to realize on his own, you don’t want him to take more than one decade to figure it out. However, ensure you truly love and care for him. Remember to give him space to miss you. Let him have moments alone or with his friends. Don’t overdo it, so you don’t end up looking desperate.

4. Don’t lose yourself

Whatever you do, do not lose yourself in the relationship; make sure you maintain your true identity, personality, principles, and self-dignity. Don’t throw away your individuality just because you want to get him down on one knee. Ensure that everything you do with and for him is because you love him and enjoy doing those activities with him. 

Apart from the fact that this is a really uncomfortable way to live, he will definitely know if your efforts are forced and when you’re trying too hard. You become more sexy and attractive to him if he sees that you also love and care for yourself as well.

5. Throw in a few test triggers here and there

The goal is to prove to both him and yourself that your partner really loves you and likes having you around. At least enough to want to commit to you for the rest of your lives. You could throw a few testers at him from time to time, harmless ones of course. 

For instance, you could give him hints that you’re thinking of moving cities or countries to find better job opportunities or just change the environment. Watch his reaction; most men would want to get engaged to you as soon as possible if they truly can’t do without you in their lives. 

Just knowing that you’re leaving his environment and you may meet someone else out there could be the wake-up call he needs to take things to the next level.

6. Don’t hide the fact that you have options

The fact that you have a wide array of options aside from him would make you even more attractive to him. It's human nature to want things that are valuable and sought after; even though you shouldn’t rub that in his face. 

Don’t hide the fact that you’re still attracted to other guys, and you still have guys that would consider themselves lucky to be with you. While you’re hanging out together, don’t be shy to subtly point out the good-looking guys that pass by or acknowledge the men that throw you compliments. These few gestures will make him realize that you won’t be on the market forever.

7. Don’t give him an ultimatum

Some women tell stories of how they told their boyfriends to put a ring on it by a specific time, or they’ll walk. It's a very alpha female thing to do, and to be honest, it has actually worked for some. However, it's a very risky thing to do. No one likes to be bossed around and told what to do. 

Plus, you honestly don’t want a man to commit to you just because you threatened him; you want him to want you. Before acting on the idea of giving him an ultimatum, ask yourself if it's worth the risk. What if he doesn’t actually choose you? What if he picks his freedom over you? What are you going to do then?

8. Drop subtle hints

drop subtle hints

To assure him that you’re prepared for this next step, you can drop some subtle and encouraging hints here and there. That doesn’t mean you should keep buying magazines with the classiest weddings on the cover. 

You could ask casual questions like who he would pick to be his best man for his wedding or if he would like a destination wedding or one at home. These questions would subtly put the idea in his head.

9. Talk about your future

If the subtle hints don’t work, then you could take it up a notch and have conversations about your future. Still, keep things casual when you do this, be careful about the timing, and don’t just keep blabbing on if he gets uncomfortable. 

Also, don’t just throw the topic at him out of the blues; make sure to read the room. If he does want to get married, he’ll probably ease into the conversation.

10. Getaway together

Sometimes, it takes a romantic weekend alone with you for him to realize that you’re just the person he needs to make his life complete. A romantic getaway would be a way for you to set the scene for him; he may just use this opportunity to pop the question. 

It doesn’t have to be the conventional weekend by the beach or an expensive resort; you could plan a road trip together, go camping, or go skiing depending on the season. This may just be what he needs to start thinking of getting married to you.

11. Show him that you aren’t high maintenance

If you want to get married, this is not the time to show how much you love diamond rings, especially if your partner isn’t that financially buoyant. Set realistic wedding goals, don’t make him feel like he made the wrong decision dating you. 

You’re going to spend the rest of your life with this man, so worry more about how stable the marriage will be. The wedding is just the gateway to the rest of your lives. 

12. Get acquainted with his family and his friends

Every man wants a wife who is friendly and comfortable with the people who are closest to him. His family and his friends are probably at the top of this list. That’s how to get him to propose. When a man sees how perfect his girl is with his family, the idea of marriage makes more sense to him. 

13. Show him that you can actually be a wife

A good man knows his role as a husband and is wholeheartedly willing to fulfill these roles. Marriage is no playground, and most guys don’t like the idea of a divorce. They want to remain happily married for as long as possible, so this is your chance to show him how caring and nurturing you can be.

14. Be appreciative

Be appreciative and grateful for the little things, it's those quiet, alone moments between the both of you that count. It's those small gestures that we take for granted that really count, like how you respond to him, how you treat him, and how you acknowledge him. 

The more appreciative you are of his gifts, his time, and his company, the more he’ll want to be around you, and perhaps he’d want to keep you in his life forever.

15. Take good care of yourself

Self-love is very attractive and when a person loves themself, it shows. If you can’t care for yourself, you won’t be able to take care of another person. Also, take care of your mental and emotional health; just like you maintain your body and your hygiene daily, no one wants to be in a marriage with a ‘liability.’ 

16. Spend some time with your married friends

Spending time together with your married friends could help you both gain some insight into married life. That doesn’t mean you should hang out with any married couple, try to pick friends who have a happy and healthy marriage. Being around them often could encourage your partner to think about marriage more, and hopefully where to buy a suitable engagement ring.

17. Try having an honest conversation with him

If push comes to shove and he still doesn’t seem to respond to anything, you may just have to be direct about it. This doesn’t mean that you should ambush him or pressure him. Just ensure you pick the right time to talk about marriage. 

Pick a time where you are both happy and free from stress so his mind will be clear, and he’ll be able to make a genuine and unbiased decision.

18. Listen to him

Make sure you listen to him; he may really need someone to hear him out. Don’t just keep trying to plant your ideas about marriage in his head. Also, listen to what he has to say. Listen to his fears and worries, and if you can, talk him through it. If you don’t know how to help him, just be the shoulder he needs to lean on, be there for him.

19. Tell his family and friends to reduce the pressure

tell his family and friends to reduce the pressure

If you’re both old enough and have comfortable lives and careers, then chances are you’re not the only one who is talking to him about settling down. His family may be pressuring him to get married, and his friends may never let him hear the last of it. 

Being surrounded by this amount of pressure could be altering his ability to think straight. You may have to have a word with them telling them to please pipe down so he can make the right choice. 

20. Don’t allow yourself to get desperate

This is going to take an active effort on your part; you’re going to have to keep reminding yourself that you are a beautiful, valuable woman. And even though this relationship doesn’t work, you still have a fat chance at a great marriage in the future. 

Whether you’re getting older or not, you will find your Mr. Right. Once you are conscious of this, you won’t go out of your way to pressure this guy. If he seems oblivious to doing the right thing, don’t hesitate to move on.

21. Don’t be afraid to be open about your vulnerability

Every man has this inner need to take care of the woman he cares about, whether they say so or not. This means you can appeal to his inner masculinity by being open about your vulnerability. 

Note; this does not refer to neediness. Simply be open to him about why you’d like to be with him in particular and not just any random guy. If he’s a mature and mentally healthy man, he will respond to this almost immediately. 

22. Have a life outside the topic

Don’t focus so much on getting this man to propose to you. It will be so obvious, just make sure you’re still living your life. The idea that all you're doing is sitting around thinking of marriage definitely turns him off. You have got to maintain and believe that this is not your only option, you are valuable, and you have plenty of options available for you.

23. Shake up routines

It’s normal for long-term couples to fall into routine life, doing the same things every day. Perhaps, the idea that this is how his life after marriage would be is discouraging to him. Shaking things up a bit could help him realize that spending a lifetime with you isn’t going to be a drag; he’ll even look forward to spending his life with you. 

24. Pull back a bit

This may be really hard for you because you obviously love him, but sometimes reverse psychology works. Especially if you both already live together, in this case, he’s not missing anything. 

You’re practically already being a wife to him; he just hasn’t publicly made it official. Try to get away for a bit, you can visit your parents for a while or take a vacation on your own or with your friends. Just give yourself and the relationship a little space. This could even strengthen your self and esteem and self-worth.

25. Let him know what marriage means to you

Honesty is important in every relationship; perhaps he just needs to know how important marriage is to you. Some guys believe that love is enough and that you don’t have to throw an expensive ceremony to show that you love and are committed to a person. 

Once you let him know that marriage is an integral part of your belief system and tradition, he might take things a bit more seriously.

FAQs

How can I get my man to propose faster?

Show him how valuable you are to him and that he will never find anyone else like you. Use more actions than words, remind him that you and your time are important, and you won’t be waiting around forever for him to do the needful. Most importantly, do not pressure him.

How do I get him to propose without asking?

Spending time with his family is an unspoken way of telling him that you’re willing to be part of his family. This does not mean you should face it, genuinely care for them. Make sure you do not hide the way you feel about him; don't also kiss up to him.

How do I get him to propose in 30 days?

Hanging out with your friends more often shows him that you have a life outside of him. Also, spending time together with married friends will inspire him to start planning towards settling down. Through hints of you moving to a new town or city, this will keep him on his toes and remind him that you’re still an independent woman with options.

How long should a guy take to propose?

Some people believe that you need to be with a person over time so to get to know each other well and be sure about taking the next step. However, a new study has revealed that the optimum time to date before engagement is a year and eight months. 

How do you know if he's going to propose soon?

Most times, when a man is getting ready to propose, he starts to act weird. He’ll be a bit nervous and may even be a bit distant for a while, especially if he's planning to surprise you. Your family members or friends may also start acting a bit weird because he must have told them as well. 

To Conclude

I hope you found this article helpful, remember, never lose yourself in the quest of trying to get your man to propose to you. Don’t rob yourself of a genuine romantic moment by forcing it. Please let me know what you think about this topic in the comment section below and don’t forget to share.

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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