How To Get A Guy To Commit? (31 Super Effective Ways)

Last updated on June 7, 2022 by April Maccario

Meeting a new guy is always so exciting for us women. From the minute he has your name email address and likes, it's one kind of fun after the other. Little or no effort is needed because after all, you’re not his girlfriend yet. 

Now, let’s imagine that you’ve been together with this special someone for a while; he turns out to be a great guy in fact, and 3 months down the line, things seem to have taken off pretty well. From morning coffee to late lunch dates, and Friday movie night, you go out more than usual every week for fun and each experience is nothing short of impressive. 

In fact, the chemistry between you and him is very much explosive, and as such, you can tell that you have a bright future ahead with this person. Despite all these good signs and my feelings, there’s just one major issue; he doesn’t want to commit to a relationship. 

It’s like clockwork, every time the subject is brought up; he gets silent, tries to change the topic or even worse, laughs it off with a silly joke. You’ll likely have experienced such dreadful scenarios creep up every now and then. But trust me you’re not alone if you're going through this situation right now. 

For a woman like you and me, winning a million bucks feels more likely than to get a guy to commit. This is because, in most cases, people see relationships as unions where all their freedom is taken away from them. Luckily, I'll be providing some psychological tricks all women can use to change a guy's mind instantly about the concept of commitment, bringing them closer to you than ever before. So how do you make a man commit? Continue reading the relationship advice!

How To Get A Guy To Commit

1. Handle Date Nights

Handling date nights is not rocket science. This one is just as important as any other point I could give to you, which is why it's the first. Yes, you should pay for date nights, whenever you can. It's the 21st century, and women are no longer assuming that men need to cater to their needs all the time. This rings true, especially in new and upcoming relationships. The man doesn't have to be the only one picking up the checks for your dates; you can do that too as a treat to him.  

How to make him commit? The next time you go for a meal of coffee together, offer to pay the bill. More than likely, he’s going to try and say no, but you can insist politely, passing off your action as a way to show him an appreciation for all those other times he paid. This is a subtle message to him that you do recall the things he does for you, which will leave him feeling very happy inside.  

2. Be His Number 1 Fan

To get a man dangerously in love with you, so much that he can't imagine a world without you, become his most fabulous and favorite champion. Be his number one fan in all things, celebrating his achievements like they're yours too. 

Listen to his dreams and show you genuine belief in them, always being keen to hear any updates on its development. Showing such concern and attention goes a long way to help him open up more to you.

He's suddenly going to want to talk to you about his day, the things that made him happy and those that annoyed him, and many more. The opposite, which is shutting him out and leaving him to do things alone with no silent support, will cause him to yearn for the support from other people in his life.

3. Be His Greatest Confidante

This is a build-up to the previous point; allow him to confide in you. Every time your man has an opinion and is willing to share it with you, don't be so quick to get defensive or shut his ideas down when you don't agree with them. Doing this takes away the respect which is needed in all relationships.

Every relationship demands some amount of respect, despite your varying views and opinions. Getting upset, angry, defensive, or teary-eyed every time the subject of commitment in your relationships is brought up is enough to keep any guy at bay, so be mindful. Listen to him without reacting, allow him to express everything that's on his mind and in his heart, and watch your man warm up to you with ease.

4. Don't Forget What Exactly You Want

In getting a guy to commit, women should always remember that it's not the guy they want but rather realness in a relationship. Wanting a man and wanting a real relationship are two different things. Sadly, many women go for the former, which is most definitely a wrong priority to have. They end up being disappointed and dejected when things don't go as planned, ultimately hating men altogether.

Before you work towards how to make him commit, ask yourself precisely what it is you want; a real relationship or that man himself. It could have started as the latter, but with the time you've suddenly decided upon the former, and there's nothing wrong with that. Be particular about what you want, before attempting to make any other move.

5. Let Him Earn It

And let him earn you too. The easy things in life annoy men a lot because they take away their thrill and adventure. Men love curiosity; it stimulates and excites them, always keeping them interested. This runs through for relationships too. They love to work for the girl to know that she is sincere, worth their time and effort. If you want any man to commit to you, try your possible best to wow him. Once he's been wowed, he's going to be coming back to you, begging for more.

More so, to get a man, you need to consider being what they're not used to. Offer him what isn't common ground, and that isn't sex. There are many other things besides physical looks that can wow a man and make him commit without batting an eyelid.

6. Think Fun, Think Exciting!

Wanting a serious, long-term relationship doesn't mean you shouldn't have some fun and excitement in your relationship. One way to get a guy to commit is to make the relationship look fun. Forget about being serious, glum, dull, and full of negative emotions, as these don't get a man engaged and interested in what it is you're offering.

How to get a guy to commit? Go out with your man, engage in fun activities that you will both enjoy, like a movie marathon or a bowling match. When you're associated with lots of fun by your man, being with you will not be seen as a chore but rather an adventure. No man will be afraid to commit to a fun-loving woman who reeks of positivity and excitement.

7. Make His People Love You.

Honest love from your man’s people comes only when you’re friends with them too. Before any man commits to a woman, he will seek the approval of his friends and other people he loves. This is one thing many women have no clue about. Men do this because their friends are close to them, and they want to know whether they approve of your relationship.

If you're rude and annoying and his friends see that too, they'll be as honest as possible, and before long, you'll notice him backing off in your relationship. Be yourself with his friends, and avoid putting on any form of fake persona. His people will have more than enough love for you if you're able to leave a good impression on them. They might even be your background support, pushing him to make that final commitment with you.

8. Don't Talk About Your Relationship With Anyone.

No one needs to know about your relationship and your business as a couple, not your barista, not your co-workers, not your lab partners, and certainly not the neighbors. The stress of him not committing is bound to weigh you down, the more you complain about it. More so, focusing on only that, the rest of your life is enough to drive you insane, so pause, reflect, and try your possible best not to keep it in your mind.

Your goal of getting closer to a committed relationship may not be realized when you're always going through your last conversations, wondering where he's been, who he's been with, and whether or not he's thinking about you. These thoughts often lead women to get extra clingy and needy, pushing the man even further than before. So, drop the pressure on yourself, and ignore talking about this issue with anybody for some time.

9. Take Yourself On An Adventure.

To make a man commit to you, you don't have to fly him on the next plane to Paris. You can, however, plan a beautiful and straightforward getaway without him, which can keep him interested in you. 

Going on an adventurous vacation is a great way to keep him guessing whether you’re out alone, or with a group of friends. He might even wonder whether you’re out there hooking up with a cute Italian bistro owner, sipping wine with a slice of fresh pizza. 

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His imagination is bound to go over the roof when you send him beautiful snapshots of the fun you're having on your own; without him. Seeing this can place some amount of pressure on his heart to make you his in the shortest possible time, pushing him to start the journey towards a serious, committed relationship.

10. Hint At Other Options, And Be Serious About Them!

Hinting is one other thing to do. What's worse than hinting at other guys trying to catch your attention? Having different guys fighting for your attention! Don't stop dating other men, if he hasn't come out to openly tell you about his intent to date you. Be sure to keep your options open at all times, even if you're not that interested in the other guys. This goes a long way to keep you relaxed by taking some pressure off your shoulders.  

Having other options means that you're not continually going to be thinking about him and what he's up to, neither will you be as available to him whenever he pleases. To make a man commit, try this. He'll have to win your mind, heart, and attention from all the others, and that will have to do as quickly as possible.

11. Work Towards Making Him A Better Man.

Men love to feel like real winners, thanks to their very competitive nature. This is increased when he comes across a woman who simply wants to see him win. The moment a guy comes across such a woman, he believes he's found someone worth dating and investing time and effort in.

This happens because men love being pushed in subtle ways to get things done and make themselves better. When this is done by someone they love and cherish, it reaps a whole lot of benefits both for them and relationships in general. Aspire to be that woman who pushes her man, and watch him commit to you like no other.

12. Don’t Rely On Sex As A Keeping Mechanism.

Trust me when I say that you can never keep a man who doesn't want to be kept. Not even with sex. Yes, men love physical intimacy, and they relish having great sexual moments with their partners, but using sex to encourage a man to stay committed to you will leave you more hurt and depressed that you felt before. As much as possible, avoid using sex to keep any man.

Using sex is seen as a manipulative tactic and will not make any man commit, it will only serve to push him away from you. Also, starting the relationship with sex as the foundation is not an excellent start for a healthy relationship, since it could backfire badly and affect you. Sex is meant for enjoyment, not for use as a weapon.

13. Don't Attempt To Change Him.

In as much as it's great to support him in becoming a winner, that doesn't mean you have to change him. Many girls love men not because of who they are, but rather because of who they want them to be, or see them becoming, 'with a little help.' Men don't want this in a relationship! Accept your man and what he represents, if you genuinely wish to be in a long-term relationship with him.

It is true that there’s nothing wrong with helping someone become better than they are, but this needs to be done at the person's pace and with their style. Consistently trying to mold a man into a different person turns him off and can cause him to forget about ever wanting to commit to you.

14. Don't Act Like His Wife.

Yes, this is one other thing you shouldn’t do. In your relationship, when there's no commitment, don't go all out, as is the tendency with many women. Avoid giving your man everything he wants at once if you genuinely want him to commit to you and the relationship. Don't go all out, acting as though you're already married; it won't change your current position.

Why would you want to do that? There’s no reason to give him husband privileges if he hasn’t mentioned his intent to become your husband. Behaving like a wife when you’re not can cause him to start taking you for granted, simply because he will feel like he can get anything from you without the extra commitment. 

15. Give Him Time To Miss You.

I've spoken about going on an adventure all on your own or with other people if you want to catch his attention and get him to commit. This Is done to let him miss you, but sometimes you don't even have to go that far. Make him miss you right at home. You can do this by delaying your responses to his calls and texts, but ignoring some of them altogether but making sure he knows you're online and having fun.

You can go out with your girlfriends and live freely in the moment without thinking about him or his lack of commitment. This relaxes you and also makes him more interested because you're doing fine without him.

16. Don't Let Him Mistreat You.

One thing to note is that people mistreat you only if you let them. Thus, don't allow any man to treat you any less than you deserve, whether it in word or deed. Tell your man when something he does offends or hurts you, instead of allowing him to walk all over you without any care in the world. Enabling this will most likely lead to other unwanted actions, you could've avoided early on.

Some of the things you can draw his attention to should be valid, like him deciding to visit an ex who just came to town, or staying out with the boys for a drinking spree two days straight. Things like the way he eats or him picking his nose are trivial and can be discussed in a joking manner.

17. Keep Him Curious.

Curiosity is the fuel that pumps every man's heart when he's pursuing a woman or requires something more permanent in a relationship. If you want him to itch to stay committed to you, your best bet is to keep him guessing all the time. Keeping him guessing simply means that you're not so predictable all the time, and you're willing to shake things up such that he's always wondering what you'll do next.

Other ways to get him to commit include trying a new hairdo, suggesting new eating places for your dates, changing your wardrobe into something simple yet sexy, or disappearing now and then, without any explanation.  Shaking things up with a guy prevents him from taking you for granted. He'll feel like you’re worth more and desire to make you a permanent part of his life.

18. Hint At An Ex.

Do you have exes? Don't hesitate to make use of them, if you’re wondering how to get him to commit to you, and commit fast! Drop a subtle hint about an ex attempting to make a comeback, and watch your man's face drop with shock and fear. 

You don't have to keep contact with that ex; you only need to mention his name in conversation as casually as you can, to ruffle your man's feathers a little. Talking about an ex brings a little bit of competition to the dating game, and this is something that men generally cannot refuse.

It'll start with your passing comment, but this will sit with your guy and brew. In time he's having thoughts of your ex coming to your home to pick you up on dates while he fades into the background of your life. This is more than enough fire to drive him towards wanting a permanent commitment with you such that you cut off all ties with this annoying ex.

19. Add A Touch Of Mystery.  

One other thing to do is to keep your man intrigued by you if you want him to desire more than what you both have as a couple. Once a man is interested, he’s more likely to lock you down, as opposed to when you lay everything on a silver platter for him to explore. Learn how to hold back by minding the things you share with him, and leave a lot to be discovered and desired.

This means don't share all your childhood stories with him and stop over-complaining about every little thing. Don't keep him posted about your daily activities by the hour and make him wonder who exactly you are, what it is you like, and how best he can ask for exclusivity.

20. Be Open To Talks About Commitment.

Make your man commit by engaging in any discussion that centers on commitment initiated by your man. This might happen even while your man doesn't seem to be ready for a commitment, so be mindful. As much as possible, don't shut down any relationship-based conversation with your boyfriend; you must be prepared for the truth at all times during such talks.

Welcoming such discussions means you're ready to listen to him talk about all the things that matter to him. This is something men love to see in their women; thus, it becomes a subtle encouragement for them to commit to you readily. Always avoiding such talks with him because you're not ready at that moment can push him away and prevent him from opening up to you altogether.

21. Rock His World.

How to get him to commit? Simply rock his world. You'll be setting yourself up for one major disappointment if the only reason you desire a commitment from him is because of your love for him. Besides emotional attraction, your man needs to be attracted to you sexually too. This may sound contradictory to the 'don't use sex' point, but hear me out for a second. 

This point focuses on sexual attraction and not consistent sexual intercourse. Having the attraction stems from having sex and how much you've rocked his world, yes, but this will not form the foundation of your relationship; it'll only buttress it.

Rock his world sexually by looking attractive at all times. Walk around with a heightened level of truth, self-esteem, and self-love. Watch him notice these things and feel like falling deeply in love with you too.  Women who are insecure about themselves often push men away. They most often are glum and dull; thus, they're not very attractive, to begin with.

22. Become A Part Of His Life.

One thing you can do if you want a man to commit, you need to make yourself a part of his life. This is an excellent tactic if your guy is delaying in taking the relationship to the next level. Once again, this point tends to be the opposite of 'don't act like a wife,' but there's some sense in here too. 

In as much as you shouldn't go around acting like a wife, you can act like the woman in his life. This should be done carefully, such that your guy isn't scared away by your behaviors. Integrate yourself into his life slowly, without being around him 24/7.

Doing this ensures that he finds his life boring without you, without realizing it. You can call him every night or send him a good morning text. Doing this consistently ensures that he's always on the look-out for your check-ins. To add a little shock and worry, go three or more days without any text or call and leave him wondering if you're okay. At this point, he'll realize that you're an essential part of his life and a part he’ll love to keep.

23. Give Him A Reason To Be Serious With You.

Men will only feel the urge to be serious with you or take your relationship further if there's more to you than they thought. Intrigue your man, if you wish for him to commit. Keep your day a mystery, only letting off titbits that will leave him guessing for more. Intrigue can also be done via your clothing, the way you speak, and the kinds of conversation you have. 

You don't have to show every nook and cranny of your skin, to keep a man. Cover up and leave a lot to his imagination. Allow him to peel just a few layers of you emotionally, psychologically, and physically. Doing this will help your boyfriend realize that to peel the other layers and find out who you really are, he will need to take what you have a step further and propose a much more exclusive relationship.

24. Never Ask For A Commitment.

And I repeat, don't go asking someone to commit to you.  If you don’t know how to get him to commit, trust me when I say asking blatantly isn’t the way to go. This is a common mistake we make as women, by putting pressure on men for what we want them to do. 

This is the worst way to go about things because, in the end, he's not going to budge to your order. Forcing a relationship doesn't only not work; it instead pushes the man away as he realizes you may not be a healthy option for him.

When you ask a man to commit to you, it means you're dying to be in a relationship in order not to be single again, instead of wanting to be in a healthy and loving relationship that is real beyond all others. 

Women, stop asking your boyfriend to commit if you're interested in making him date you. Drop all topics about dating, relationships, and commitments once you find him pushing away and leave him to bring it up in conversation. A man wants to think that going further in the relationship was all his idea; you'll be glad you did.

25. Keep Him Guessing.

Do you want to date him or get him to commit? Keep him guessing which way you're headed by avoiding a single routine. Do things to keep him wondering whether or not you want to be with him or someone else. Keep him guessing about your plans, your clothing sense, your hair preferences, and watch as he stops trying to mess with you. Shaking things up is seen as a very feminine thing by men, and as such, it is a significant turn on for the majority of them.

You're not in a committed relationship yet, so feel free to play around with his mind and have fun in the process. Take those selfies with handsome male friends, attend concerts without him, and maintain your distance so much that he'll wish for you to be his and only his in no time!

26. Take Good Care Of Yourself.

Proper wellbeing considers all aspects of life, from the physical to the mental and emotional. This goes a long way to affect not just you but those around you. in a bid to get the guy of your dreams to commit to you, try as much as possible to be the person he was first attracted to. 

Physically this can be done by eating right and staying active. Mentally you would want to keep a positive mentality at all times, seeing the good in all situations and not dwelling on past experiences.

All forms of physical self-improvement should be avoided when you're trying to attract someone. This is because the change may become too drastic, making you unrecognizable to him. in such an instance, he may no longer want to commit to you because he doesn't know the truth about who you are anymore.

27. Avoid Using Ultimatums.

If you wish for a man to commit fully to you, avoid giving him ultimatums. Issuing ultimatums in a bid for a long-term relationship only serves to hurt one of you in the relationship. When an ultimatum is issued, your man may end up doing things under duress and not because he wants to; he simply wants to get you off his back; thus, such a relationship is bound for failure.

To avoid disaster in your relationships, don't force your partner to do something he's not ready for. In his own time, when he's sure about you and where he wishes the relationship to move, he'll want to commit and you will be glad you didn't have to induce it. Ultimatums can be tempting, but try your possible best to avoid them altogether if you're looking for a real and genuine relationship with someone.

28. Give Him Rewards.

If you want someone to warm up to the idea of being in a long term commitment with you, create and place your guy on your reward system. Giving him a reward when he goes out of his way to do something beautiful for you is a subtle way to show appreciation for his efforts, and also to help him see commitment in a new light. 

Rewards don't have to be costly; it can be something as simple as a 'thank you' note to his email address or a hug. You can even take it a step further as the perfect girlfriend you are and order some of his favorite cupcakes with romantic words from the café.

Offering rewards to your man not only shows appreciation, but they also let him know that he can please you and make you happy. Once he knows you're a girl, he can be satisfied; you're officially well on your way to being the girl he'll love to commit to.

29. Put Yourself First. 

And be sure to do this always. In a quest to make yourself his girlfriend, there's a high chance that you've lost a piece of yourself since you're digging him and you want him to be yours forever. That’s something no man wants

Losing yourself can be done in subtle ways, such as always keeping your phone sound on, just in case he calls, canceling on your friends when he wants to see you, or clearing out your entire calendar such that you can have ice cream and exchange sweet words with your prince charming.

If this is you, you’re going about things the wrong way, even though you think you’re merely showing him how much you like him. To get any guy to commit to you, you must focus on yourself and take away all the attention from him. 

Don't always be the one going out of your way as a girlfriend to make him happy. Avoid being readily available to him since no guy is attracted to that. Pay attention to your me-time, hit the gym, talk to someone you’re friends with, and go out often.

30. Spend Some Time Away.

It's natural to spend time with a guy when you're in love with him, and also when you are a couple. However, this act can backfire on you; thus, it's better to make yourself scarce. Stay away from him and put a stop immediately to everything that you're doing together. 

The idea behind this is that you want to have him craving for you due to your absence. The more you stay away, the more he will thirst for you and wonder if you have others in your life.

The act of spending some time away from the guy you want allows him to realize how much you mean to him and how often he wants you around. With this move, it's only a matter of time before he makes everything official.

31. Don't Get Too Excited.

Show as little interest in the dude as possible, no matter how much you like someone. It will get tempting to pick his call after the first ring or cancel initial plans with friends to watch a movie with him. You must learn to show less interest in him, which will, in turn, make him commit. This is a very tricky point, but when done right, it can be very beneficial.

Showing less interest gets a guy wondering, and in return causes him you fight even harder to regain your attention. In a bid to gain this attention, he might be willing to take the relationship to the next level and voila! You've reached the promised land as a couple. So go ahead! Avoid his calls and messages; don't try too hard to please him as his girlfriend and, basically, make yourself unavailable as much as you can. Reduce the amount of pressure on him, and in time, he will be more eager for a permanent commitment.


How Long Does It Take A Guy To Commit?

Concerning relationships and the need to commit, men are very stubborn even after they’ve started dating you. As such, they take a while to reach that final decision. On average, men are usually ready to commit within 90 days. That's equivalent to three months, roughly. As a woman, you can feel free to dump any guy who doesn't want something more solid with you after 90 days.

How Can I Make Him Commit Fast Easily?

Commitment from a guy isn't tough to receive; you only need to know the best tips and tricks. Make sure he's aware that even though you have feelings for him, you're still keeping your options open. Also, show a lot of mystery as to whether or not there's another person in the picture, and live your life as wonderfully as you can without him.

How Do You Get A Player To Commit?

Players are a tough bunch, thus getting them to commit their feelings to a long term relationship can be energy draining. Some ways to get such a person into a committed relationship include making him work harder than you are in the relationship, by ignoring his messages and phone calls. Showing him, you have other things to do as a woman makes him curious and eager to get your attention.

Can Walking Away Make Him Commit?

Walking away when done by any woman shows that she has a lot of confidence in herself, and is sure of how much she's worth. She's aware that any man who knows her worth will come whenever he's ready, and as such, she won't have to stick around until he's ready to commit. In a sense, that's very attractive for men and can get a million of them to commit right away.

Should I Wait For Him To Be Ready For A Relationship?

Do not, ever in your life, wait for someone you’ve started dating to come around and commit to you. Don't wait around until a man is ready to be in an exclusive relationship with you because chances are; he might never be prepared. You can be friends, colleagues, or acquaintances even, but if he doesn't show signs of wanting to be with you for long, it's better to keep your distance romantically.

To Sum Things Up

Now that you're fully equipped with some relationship advice on how to get your man to commit, go out, and make it happen for your benefit! This is not rocket science. Try these tips, or encourage others to decipher my words and give them a try, and see if any of them goes a long way to bring about a million bucks worthy surprise proposal from your prince charming. If you loved reading this article, leave a comment name email for more articles on relationships, sex, love, and feelings. 

Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes?
We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship.

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April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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