How To Date Multiple Guys Without Being Shady (11 Unique Ways)

Last updated on June 6, 2022 by April Maccario

So you want to explore your dating life in order to find ‘the one’?. If so, dating multiple people at the same time seems like the only option left. However, the loophole in your perfect dating plan is not getting caught and hurting the persons involved. So, how do you find your way around not being seen as a serial dater, a cheat, or as someone who is obsessed with men? 

I absolutely get you as I have found myself at a similar crossroads in the past. Dating multiple people afforded me the opportunity to go out with a couple of persons at the same time without really committing to anyone in particular. I was able to feel them up close until I found someone who I felt more connections with. 

Not to worry, as I have highlighted a few tips below that will show you how can you date multiple guys without being shady. 

Tips To Date Multiple People With Ease

1. Set Out A Template For What You Want

Before you start dating multiple people, set out a clear template of who your ideal partner is. Create and be ready to enforce strict rules and boundaries that suit your purpose. Do not venture into a relationship or accept a proposal from someone unless you have a well thought out template of your expectations. This is not a game where you maneuver your way, so be sure about what you want.  

2. Be Completely Honest With The People Involved

Try as much as possible to let your partner know at the onset of your relationship that there are others. I know it sounds like an awkward thing to say but believe me it saves you the stress of explaining yourself when you get busted. 

Get it completely out of the way before you start going out. The upside of maintaining a complete honest policy is that those involved are presented with a choice to stay or walk out. 

3. Block Out All Feelings Of Guilt

Guilt robs you off of the bliss and satisfaction that comes with going out with multiple people. You feel so much guilt inside you whenever your date shows up. Those feelings should have been long gone before the relationship starts. You need to do away with whatsoever feelings of guilt you may be nurturing. 

Ensure that all the persons involved are duly aware that you are seeing another guy elsewhere. This coupled with a constant reminder of why you are doing what you are doing will help keep your conscience clear. 

4. Don’t Date Men Who Belong In Close Circles

Refuse the temptation of going out with multiple people that have close ties. As thrilling as the idea may seem, the repercussions are devastating. This goes for family members, persons living in the same neighborhood as you, or who work in the same office. 

You could permanently ruin an age-long friendship or work relationship if any one of them were to find out. The recommended thing is for you to date people who have no ties with each other or any chances of meeting in real life. 

5. Carry Out A Background Check Of Them

Sexual offenders and people with violent tendencies do not carry a special tag on their foreheads. Hence, the need for a proper background check on the multiple people you are involved with. 

Find out about the very essence of whoever you are involved with. Things like his temperament, character, and family background are good places to start. This might help you prevent a situation of having to avoid a particular person.  

6. Be Open-Minded

The possibility of falling in love with one of the people you are involved with is high. Always maintain an open mind towards all of the men you are dating. Properly check on the person you develop feelings for against your wish-list and ascertain if he fits the description. If he does, you are free to act on those feelings and turn them into something really beautiful. Don’t ever come off as being biased or unnecessarily aligned to one person. 

7. Inquire About Their Dating History

This helps you get a feel of what’s happening with them emotionally. Most of the men you will meet might have had one or two ugly experiences in the past. Some might even be going out with multiple persons just like you. Find out the present situation of their love life and see if it’s worth it going forward. Who knows you can learn a thing or two that might help you relate with them better. 

8. Avoid Sharing Details Of Your Dating Spree With Them

Give the men you are going out with a little respect by sparing them the details of your other dating escapades. People are fond of reading meanings into the minutest detail and I am pretty sure you do not want them getting the wrong idea about you. 

Unknowingly to you, while making small talk on dates, you might say something you weren’t supposed to say or come off as favoring the other person. To be on the safe side, avoid the subject matter altogether.

9. Avoid Engaging In Sexual Relations With Any Of Them

Rule out the possibility of having sex while dating any of them until you figure out who you like best. Light making out or tonsil hockey while on dates with them might not hurt but leave it at that. For starters, this enables you to maintain a clear head when doing your assessment of the lot. Steering clear of sexual relations also guarantees your safety health-wise. STDs are real; abstinence can keep you from harm’s way.   

10. Properly Plan Your Dating Schedule

Going out with many people requires a lot of effort and hard work. Take out time to plan your schedule to accommodate all your dates with the men you are dating at the time. You do not want to be seen as favoring a particular person above another. 

A little bit of unsolicited advice, asides the time for dates include ample time for texting each of them into your schedule. This helps you get a hold of important things going on with them and also shows them that you care

11. Carefully Break Things Off Once You Have Made Your Choice

Break things off with the others once you have settled for ‘the one’. This must be done in a way that prevents emotional pain and heartbreak. Do not outrightly blow them off rather, thread with caution, and apply all forms of gentility in approaching the matter. Going on more dates with many people even when your mind has been made is sheer wickedness on your part.  


Is It Wrong To Date Two Guys At Once?

There are two sides to dating two people at once. Most people fancy it because it increases their chances of finding true one love. It is only wrong when the persons involved are not aware that you are seeing someone else. Just as I mentioned earlier, the trick is in being completely honest with them. 

Is It OK To Date More Than One Person At The Same Time?

If your intentions are aimed towards finding true love, then it is OK to date more than one person. If what you really want is an adventure, then it is not OK to date multiple people because you feel like it. You can hurt someone’s feelings in the process and also ruin your dating life. 

How Do You Deal With Dating Multiple Men?

This involves you dating more than one person at a time. The risk of you getting busted is quite high despite your reason for engaging in it. This is why I carefully came up with the above-listed tips gotten from personal and proven experiences. Adhere strictly to them as they will help you adequately manage your multiple relationships. 

Can A Girl Date More Than One Guy?

Yes, a girl has the right to date multiple people. You owe no one an apology for what goes on in your love life. However, try as much as possible to keep whichever guy you are dating in the loop of your dating status. Setting a few boundaries such as a ‘no-sex policy’ can help save you or the other person from hurt. 

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Is It Cheating If You’re Just Dating?

It is not cheating as long as both of you are fully aware that you are not exclusive to each other. It is cheating when you get intimate, have sexual fantasies, or develop romantic feelings for someone else other than your partner. It is also cheating when you date other people besides your partner.  

To Conclude

I hope you find these tips I wrote in this article helpful. Let me know what you think about them by leaving your comments in the box below. You are at liberty to share this article so that someone else can learn a thing or two from it. 

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April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

One comment on “How To Date Multiple Guys Without Being Shady (11 Unique Ways)”

  1. I am so glad you are helping to share this meaningful advice with your fellow friends. Best to you and your search for happiness!

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