The decision to have kids is a lifetime commitment that married couples take seriously. Besides, it has caused an enormous dilemma in most marriages, proving that having kids is not for everyone. Most times, it's not even a question of the right time to have a baby, but if at all there will be any children.
We've witnessed many marriages where one party is not open to the prospect of having a baby for reasons best known to them. Childbearing in a marriage setting is never an exclusive duty of one party, to say the least; it takes two to tango. You're obviously here because you want a baby, but your husband doesn't fancy the idea.
You don’t want to be pushy, but having a family with children running around is something you deeply crave. Did you discuss this with your husband before getting into a committed relationship? Did he just start being closed off to the idea of having a child? The answer to these questions may determine if you’ll be able to convince him or not.
Nine times out of ten, guys who don't want to have children don't always take the prospect well, neither do they compromise easily. Maybe you already have one child, but want an addition to the family, how do you convince your husband to get on board? Continue reading to discover 21 fool-proof ways on how to convince your husband to have a baby.
Whether you believe it or not, your husband has his reasons for saying no to having a baby. As an equal partner in the marriage, his reservations matter. While listening to his concerns, try not to turn it into an argument.
Better still, don't interrupt him until he finishes talking and airing his concerns. Additionally, be polite, respectful, calm, and less judgmental about his opinions. Understanding his fears might help you strategize better on how to change his mind.
A lot of men cherish the personal relationship they have with their wives. They love their family small and don’t want anyone to get in the way of the relationship they share with their wives. However, to you, having this baby is important, that’s why it’s best to talk to him strategically.
Tell him how much having a child means to you, but also let him know that you have concerns about a new baby changing the family dynamics. Share your fears, concerns and after that, reiterate your hopes. When he sees you’re willing to overlook things like the cost, time, and your body, he might change his mind.
It's possible that before getting married, your husband promised you a happy life with a lot of kids and other things. You need to bring him up to speed about the promises he made to you in the past.
Chances are, he may have forgotten, and his thoughts are clouded by his recent resolve not to have a large family. Information like that could significantly help your case and help you get what you want.
If not having a baby will be the biggest regret of your life, you should probably let him know how much it means to you. It is possible that he doesn't know how much premium you place on kids and the joy of having one.
For your sake, you need to open up to him so he can know just how far you're willing to go. Chances are, if he knows how much it means to you, he might be open to the prospect.
Now that you know his fears and he knows yours, you can attempt to negotiate with him to reach a compromise. Both of you should lay your cards bare on the table and reach certain favorable agreements.
The purpose of this is to find common ground where nobody will feel cheated. If he's concerned about finances, try and agree on a sharing formula to ease the burden on him.
Both parties in a marriage should be willing to sacrifice and make concessions for the team. In an attempt to convince your husband, you need to have an open mind towards compromising. For instance, one of you may need to quit your job to dedicate more time to care for the newborn.
Your husband's cold feet towards having a baby may likely be that he is not predisposed to putting his career on hold just yet. His life is busy, things aren’t exactly stable and the last thing on his mind is having a baby. If you let him know that you're willing to compromise, then he might agree even if it means waiting a year or two to have the child.
Most guys do not have the slightest clue that a lady's fertility decreases as she gets older. This is why you need to bring up the subject of your biological clock running out into the argument.
Your man should know that the quality and quantity of the eggs in a woman diminish over time. Fusing this delicate subject in your discussions might prove to be a subtle yet effective method of getting your husband to act fast before it becomes too late.
Most times, the best way to convince your husband is to appeal to his emotions and sense of reasoning. Your reason for wanting a baby may differ entirely from his reason for wanting one.
He's probably considering some other factors that you may not have taken into consideration. Think it through before presenting the matter to him again. Come up with logical reasons as to why a baby is necessary at this particular time.
Before bringing up the conversation, warm your husband up to the exciting possibilities of having a baby. Make remarks about things like who you think the child will look like, what the child might love doing, or when he will take his first steps.
The purpose of bringing up these kinds of topics is to warm your spouse up to the prospect of having a baby. Chances are, he'll gradually buy into the idea and renege on his original plan.
It's common knowledge that having a baby can take a toll on the finances of both parents, but especially the father. Every parent desires to make sure that their kids want nothing, but that comes at a considerable cost.
Your husband is probably worried about how he will foot the bill that awaits him when the time comes. Assuring him that you would share in the financial burden might go a long way in making him reconsider the idea.
The likely reasons most guys have for refusing to have a baby include low finances and maybe accommodation as well. Many families that live in small houses and have meager finances who still manage to take proper care of their kids.
If your husband still insists on not having a baby for these sorts of reasons, use close friends with worse conditions that have kids as examples. Chances are, he will see that what he thought impossible is possible.
If the previous point doesn't work, ensure he accompanies you to social gatherings that involve children. Most guys are scared of the prospect simply because they don't know how to handle kids.
This is why both of you should spend quality time with mutual friends who have adorable (well-behaved) children. By doing so, he'll learn a thing or two about their behaviors and how to handle them.
Organize romantic dinners, buy him gifts, and carry out other romantic gestures before you bring up the discussion about having kids. Guys like to be pampered and spoilt from time to time. Plus, you’ll be helping the possibly-strained relationship.
Romantic gestures will butter him up and put him in a good mood just before you raise the topic. Don't know where to start? Start by cooking his favorite meal or making reservations for two at his favorite restaurant.
If your husband's wish is not to have children, then it should be respected. Don't be too desperate to the point where you would intentionally stay off the pills to get pregnant.
While you may get your wish, this sort of behavior could invariably lead to trust issues and ultimately cost you your marriage. Peradventure, you don't get pregnant, and your spouse finds out, it might further strengthen his resolve not to have kids.
Agreeing to have a baby is not something you decide to do on impulse. Both of you need to consider many things before jumping to any conclusions. It would be best if you always assure him that he wouldn't regret his decision to have kids.
Additionally, he may be scared of the stress and chaos that accompanies the birth of a child. Please do what you must to allay his fears and assure him that he isn't making a wrong decision.
Rather than pressure him into giving in to your demand, try and enjoy the love and bliss you both share. Nagging and pressurizing him about the prospect might make him resent you or dissuade him from it entirely.
Build on the relationship you have as a married couple and enjoy all of the benefits of being married. It's easier to convince someone you share a strong bond with than with someone you’re constantly nagging.
Most men relish the thought of mentoring their children on how to engage in the sporting activities they love. Others fancy the idea of their kids joining them on fishing expeditions, hunting trips, and working on old cars. I'd advise you to use your husband's interests to your advantage when bringing up the topic.
In a bid to convince your husband, please resist the urge to nag him about the issue. Also, avoid bringing up the topic every second of every day as it could get tiring. Continually nagging your spouse about how you want a baby won't solve anything.
If your husband remains persistent, let the matter rest for a while before bringing it up again. The possibility of him wanting to have a baby might increase with time.
Trying to force him into making a decision might prove counterproductive in the long run. Additionally, issuing ultimatums, threats, or depriving him of necessities like sex and food might end up ruining your marriage.
Also, avoid blackmailing him emotionally or using desperate means to achieve your aim. The decision to have kids should be taken by both of you and not enforced by one party.
You shouldn't be ashamed of seeking professional help when every other option fails. There are certified and qualified marriage counselors who help couples through similar situations. Who knows if getting a professional assessment might even help rally your spouse to your cause.
The counselor or therapist can serve as an umpire or moderator in the discussion and help both reach a mutual agreement.
The best thing to do after trying everything is to give it time. All your spouse needs is a little time to adjust to the thought of becoming a father.
Please make no mistake about it; the decision to have a child is a lifelong commitment. Just because he's against it now doesn't mean he will be against it forever.
For starters, try negotiating with him to get him to make a compromise. Please pay attention to his fears or reasons for not wanting kids and find a way to ease them. If he remains reluctant, give him time. Chances are, your spouse will adjust to the prospect of having a baby.
Yes, they do! Contrary to popular belief, guys are not immune to having baby fever. Many guys find themselves yearning to have kids and can't help but fall for the mystical charms of babies giggling. However, ego won't let some men admit to having baby fever, but make no mistake, it's normal for men to develop it.
As funny it sounds, it's not out of place to find husbands jealous of their newborns. The reason is not far-fetched; mothers are fond of dedicating all their time and attention to their babies, leaving their spouses feeling neglected. If left unchecked, these feelings can pave the way for jealousy and other issues.
A woman's age determines her fertility and chances of getting pregnant. Research shows that women are at their peak fertility during their 20s. A woman's potential to conceive naturally or artificially decreases as she gets older. The reason is simple; as a woman gets older, her eggs' quality and quantity decrease significantly.
It's common knowledge that the egg and sperm have to come in contact for fertilization to occur. Ejaculated sperm cells can live inside the reproductive tract for up to days after having sex. So even though you ovulate 4 days after having sex, there’s still a chance you’ll get pregnant.
Applying the tips proffered in this article would go a long way in getting your husband to make a U-turn. I hope you found this article insightful and helpful? Kindly share your thoughts with me via the comments section. Also, be a good sport and share this post to help other women going through similar dilemmas.