Good men are hard to come by, so congratulations on scoring one so awesome you want to be the best partner he’s ever had. Whether you are new to this dating thing or already have some feathers in your cap, your relationship will benefit greatly from this post.
You’ve taken a huge step just by being here reading up on how to be a good girlfriend. It shows you value your relationship enough to go the distance to improve yourself, which is the best anyone can hope for, really.
Before we jump in, however, I want you to know there’s no one-size-fits-all guide anywhere on how best to be with your boyfriend. You’ll need to use your discretion to tailor what you learn to your specific situation as well as your respective personalities. You don’t want to make the mistake of doing one thing that won’t resonate with your boyfriend.
Now with that out of the way, let’s get right into making a great girlfriend out of you, shall we?
The first step in your ‘good girlfriend project’ should be figuring out how your boyfriend wants to be loved. A common relationship mistake many of us make is assuming what our ex enjoyed would work for our next.
Don’t make any assumptions. If your talking stage didn’t cover love languages, make sure you have a conversation with him today about how he prefers to receive affection and how you’d want him to express it to you. It would help your relationship going forward.
Your boyfriend won’t always be the perfect guy. Nevertheless, a good girlfriend should acknowledge his efforts when he tries. Again, don’t assume he knows, show him you’re grateful for the gift of him.
Tell your boyfriend that you recognize his worth and value him a great deal both when he does something pleasant and (especially) when he’s unable to. This way, you encourage him to do more, and he feels good about himself. It’s a win-win!
Does your partner make you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world? If he doesn’t, maybe he should be reading up on how to be a good boyfriend. That shouldn’t deter you though, whether he does it or not, compliment your partner.
I’m sure there’s a whole lot to like about him, from his looks to his dress sense and personality. They may not act like it, but men want to get the accolades they dish out too, so don’t be stingy with it.
It’s easy to get so comfortable in a loving relationship that you forget to take care of yourself. Yes, he loves you just the way you are, and he’s seen you at your best and worst. Still, that’s not an excuse to let go too much.
Make sure you don’t deprive him of the opportunity to see the lady that attracted him the very first time he set eyes on you. Stay fit, eat healthy, and remain gorgeous.
Sharing your boyfriend’s interests gives you both one more ground to connect. When you pay attention to the things that mean the most to your partner, it helps you see him in a different light and understand him even better.
You don’t have to like everything he likes (unless that’s just the way it happened). However, you’d feel less begrudged about sharing him with that thing if you get why he’s so attached to it.
Don’t be that “I’m all the friend he needs” kind of girlfriend. If your boyfriend had friends before you came along, they wouldn’t stop mattering to him just because he’s fallen in love with you. You want to be the best girlfriend? Don’t try to pry him apart from his closest buddies.
It would actually be great if you can make friends with them too. You don’t have to become besties or anything, but being close enough to hang out together sometimes can give you some fresh perspective on what your boyfriend is like in his element.
However, it’s still important to give him space, let him hang with the boys, and feel like he can say anything without censoring it down because of you.
The worst thing you can do to your partner is having them choose between you and their loved ones. If you put your boyfriend in that position, sooner or later, he would resent you for it.
You don’t have to like them right away, just don’t be hostile when they are around. As a matter of fact, getting along with your man’s hard-to-love family scores you extra points in the good girlfriend book.
Another simple answer to ‘how to be a good girlfriend’ is to let your boyfriend be ‘the man’. I don’t mean enabling toxic masculinity or conforming to rigid gender stereotypes. I’m talking about letting him be himself. You don’t want a guy with low-self esteem or an inferiority complex.
So make sure you don’t abuse your hold over him just because he’s emotionally vulnerable with you. Don’t treat him like a lesser person on days when he’s unable to meet certain needs. Maybe you want something and he can’t get it immediately, try and be more understanding. Everyone – male or female – needs their sense of identity, ensure you never forget that.
Giving is so important in a relationship that it is a whole love language for some people. Even if receiving gifts isn’t the form of affection he’s most conversant with, he’d still appreciate you getting him something that shows you’ve been paying attention.
Price tag or trends shouldn’t be what determines your presents. So don’t get that guy a ps5 just because ‘boys love that stuff.’ Get him something so meaningful to him he’d still cherish it long after it stops trending.
Your guy may not say this to you, but he lowkey craves your friends’ approval too. Meeting your friends’ in itself is a milestone that solidifies your relationship by that much. Introducing him to the people you spend most of your time with and hopefully care deeply about says you’re quite serious about him.
Frustrated that he doesn't pay you as much attention as he used to?
This is one of the most common issues our female readers face.
It makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or not.
Take this free quiz to see if he actually likes you!
Bring him into that part of your life to see what you’re like when not with him. This deepens the connection between you two much more than just telling him about them would.
Another common mistake we make in a relationship is losing our individuality. You want to spend as much time with ‘bae’ as possible that other aspects of your life suffer. You stop hanging out with friends, pay less attention to your hobbies until your personal life becomes barely extant.
If you want to be a good girlfriend, consciously work on not falling into this pattern. Nurture your hobbies, keep up with your friends, invest in personal development, and do other things outside your relationship. Don’t allow your love life to be all you’ve got going for you as that puts too much pressure on the relationship, plus it gets old fast.
Want to know how to be a good girlfriend? Get to a point where he looks forward to seeing you when going through a rough patch because he knows he’ll definitely leave feeling better. But how do you get there?
You can start by finding ways to ease his tension as opposed to being the source of it. Listen without judging when he needs to talk, so he feels heard. Comfort and cuddle him first, then ask how you can help later.
No matter how busy your schedule, always manage to carve out some quality time with your man. It’s not quantified by how many hours or days you two get together, but rather how long you can go focusing on nothing else but each other.
Since almost everything around us seems designed to distract, you’d be surprised how hard this can be if you aren’t intentional about it. Putting the phones away for some time when you’re together is an excellent place to start.
As crucial as spending time together is for a couple, taking some me-time is just as necessary for both parties. This is one reason having your own thing is an essential cog in your good girlfriend project. You’re going to bore the both of you out if you are constantly together.
The occasional withdrawal into his man cave or hanging out with friends makes the time he spends with you all the more special. And if you have your hands full filling that space with stuff you enjoy too, you may miss him, but you’d be too busy to get clingy.
Nagging is not proper communication. Neither is silent treatment nor other forms of passive aggression. No matter how much you love each other, your relationship cannot last if you don’t master this very vital bit.
Don’t expect him to understand the emotions you feel just because it’s happened before. He can’t get better at something he has no idea he’s doing wrong. That said, don’t only talk about the negative stuff; let him know if something he does makes you feel good too. The same goes for him as well.
An obvious answer to ‘how to be a good girlfriend,’ albeit a little simplistic, is to remain faithful to your boyfriend. Loyalty is becoming more and more of a rare thing these days as cheating becomes easier to pull off.
You know how crushes and exes suddenly start seeking you out when you enter a committed relationship? Yeah, don’t succumb to their temptation just because you think you can get away with it. If you’ve agreed to be monogamous, don’t even lead another guy on because that’s how it starts.
A great girlfriend builds her boyfriend up with her words, not tear him down. Don’t let the beginning and end of your emotional expressiveness be ‘I love you.’ Remind him when he’s nervous about a work project how much you believe in him.
Whisper sweet nothings in his ears when he’s insecure. Remind him how much you love not just with your mouth (although that is encouraged) but also with gifts and random notes and messages.
Variety, they say, is the spice of life. The best girlfriend is someone her partner can talk to like a friend, do crazy stuff in bed, and still enjoy quality companionship with.
You don’t have to be the most interesting lady out there to keep your relationship fresh, just don’t settle into a boring routine. If he seems comfortable with the way things are, take it upon yourself to switch things up now and then. You’re going to keep him focused on you when you make the relationship fun, fresh, and interesting.
With the chances of infidelity in a relationship being as high as 25%, it is natural to be on edge when something smells fishy. It also doesn’t help that you or someone you know has probably been cheated on by a guy who claimed to love them before.
Notwithstanding, until your guy proves beyond a reasonable doubt that he’s not to be trusted, you should accord him the benefit of the doubt. At least that’s what a good girlfriend would do.
A good boyfriend deserves to be spoiled once in a while because, like I said, they are hard to come by. Don’t always be the one who gets treated like royalty. Sometimes, give him ‘king treatment’ too.
You don’t have to wait till you can afford to pay for an international vacation or buy out a movie theatre. You can still make magic without tearing your pockets. Cooking his favorite meal, followed by a homemade spa treatment, is an idea, and you can get many more online.
A good girlfriend understands that a relationship is a two-way street, and so doesn’t leave it to her boyfriend to carry the weight alone. Forget social conditioning, it is not only the man’s role to plan dates. The modern woman is just as active in her relationship as her partner.
Plan romantic dates and sweep bae off his feet as often as you can. Even if things don’t eventually work out, he won’t forget you in a hurry.
As the person potentially closest to him, you owe it to your boyfriend to be real with him in all ways. For your part, you should be genuine in your dealings with him. Don’t just show him the fun, glamorous side of you, open up about the other stuff too as often as you can.
And for him, coddling your man when he’s evidently doing the wrong thing isn’t being a great partner. Other people may not be able to call him to order, but you should.
It’s no secret that guys love to feel needed by their partner. Being able to help you out any way he can make him feel like he’s serving a purpose. Feed your boyfriend’s hero instinct once in a while, but be careful not to put too much weight on him.
Don’t see him as your retirement plan financially or your sole source of income at any point. Don’t become too emotionally dependent on him, either. Lean on him but not to a point where you can’t do without him.
Couples who laugh together really do stay together, at least according to science. Having a similar sense of humor isn’t something you can force. If you don’t have it, I’m sorry, but you just don’t.
However, if you’re lucky enough to find each other funny, hold on to that. You won’t always be hot and heavy for each other, but being able to laugh together gives you another thing to look forward to.
How to be a good girlfriend is to be a great companion. And companionship is about being there for each other, being present in your partner’s time of need. Share his happy moments with him and also have his back the other times.
Support your boyfriend emotionally, financially, physically, and in other ways he may need. Be his partner in all things, and not just in the rosy times alone.
You may not know this, but you wield a great deal of influence on your partner. The way you act doesn’t just affect you or your relationship; it has the potential to rub off on your man as well.
Understanding this helps you realize you don’t need to force a man to change. You only have to be the person you hope to inspire him to become, and if he’s willing, he’d pick it right up. So, don’t just be a girlfriend to him, be a role model worth emulating.
Communication isn’t just about talking; you have to listen too to get anything worthwhile out of it. You can’t support someone if you don’t know how to, and you won’t if you don’t pay attention to their needs.
Listen to what he tells you and sometimes even what he keeps to himself. You’re not the only one who needs to be heard in the relationship, it goes both ways.
Tit-for-tat shouldn’t be the mindset of a great partner, and keeping score should have no place in your relationship, unless of course, when playing games. Hash things out when you have issues instead of giving him internal strikes, as that never ends well.
Also, when you do nice stuff for your man, let it be because you love him and want him to be happy. Not so he can return the favor next time.
Women are not the only ones who need reassurance, men have just gotten better at hiding it over time. As you become more committed and involved in each other’s lives, you may start to feel like he already knows how much he means to you. And you may be right.
But still, it’s nice to hear sweet things from the one you love. So always make a point of reminding him.
Even married couples are supposed to have fun together, so don’t make the mistake of letting that part of you go just because you’re his girlfriend now. Keeping up with the things you enjoyed doing with each other when you started dating is how you’ll keep your relationship feeling fresh even after several anniversaries.
Plus, if he gets to fill that bar up with you, there’s no logical reason for him to seek it out elsewhere.
Finally, on how to be a good girlfriend, be his peace. A lot of things are overrated, but peace of mind will never be among them. You can have great sex with a guy and feed him the best foods, and he’d still look elsewhere.
But when you’re his happy place, his calming force, you fill a unique need he can’t get from just anyone. Do some men still stray despite this? Absolutely. But they also live the rest of their life regretting letting that type of woman go.
It depends on how far you are into the relationship. If you’re just starting, you can ask questions like how their past relationships ended, what are their goals, what they’re looking for in a partner, etc. As you progress with one another, your questions can become more streamlined and specific.
Talking romantically is basically verbally expressing your feelings for the other person. Tell them how being with them makes you feel. Compliment them. Let them know they’re on your mind a lot. Use a love song they like as a reference. Just let your emotions flow through your words without inhibition.
“What are their views on honesty generally, and as regards a relationship? What does cheating mean to them? What matters more to them between their happiness and their partner’s? What do they consider as dealbreakers? How important are their morals to them, does the end always justify the means?” These are some deep questions you can ask.
A true soulmate is someone you connect with on different levels, someone whose mind seems entwined with yours. When you find this person, you won’t have to premeditate conversations with them because it just flows. However, a good place to start could be whether they believe in the concept of a soulmate.
Dirty questions to ask a guy you’re attracted to are those that can potentially lead to you two getting down. E.g., “What is your favorite sexual memory? If you had the freedom to do inappropriate things to me, how far would you go? If you had the chance to take me right here right now, would you go for it?” You get the idea.
I hope you enjoyed reading through this list on how to be a good girlfriend. Remember, no matter how big a catch your boyfriend seems, you deserve to be with him just as much as anyone. While getting the jitters is quite natural when you meet someone new, never let that make you doubt your worth. As usual, kindly leave a comment and share the post if you liked it.
Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes?
We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship.
It almost makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or whether he's just stringing you along.
Why don't you take this quick free quiz to see if he actually likes you!