How To Be A Better Wife (31 Things To Do)

by April Maccario

There’s a popular misconception that every woman naturally knows how to be a wife when the time comes. A lot of things don’t come naturally to women, some have to be taught. Loads of women have found themselves in the middle of a relationship, not having a clue what they’re supposed to do, or perhaps what not to do! 

They still need to learn how to be a better wife, no matter how long they have been in the relationship. Men think differently and therefore should be treated differently. Many clueless women often wonder if they are living up to their full potential as a wife and how they could be better at it. 

If you’re also wondering the same thing, buckle your seatbelts and let me take you through the dos and don’ts of being a better wife.

How To Be A Better Wife To Your Husband

1. Support his friendships

support his friendships

Every healthy person including married men should have healthy friendships. Unfortunately, most married men have to cut off their friends when they get married, sometimes it’s not conscious. 

In such times, you’d need to encourage him to go hang with the guys on a Saturday night or invite them over for power night. It would make him feel like he has a supportive and understanding wife.

2. Keep the communication going

In today's world, we’re so attached to our phones that we tend to get carried away even during one-on-one discussions. If you’ve noticed that you’re in this category of women, make a conscious effort to stop that. Men don’t often share their feelings, thoughts, or worries, so when he decides to share with you, please put down your phone and lend him a listening ear. 

3. Talk him up

As a wife, you should consciously say things that make your partner feel like he's the man. You could purposefully let him overhear you telling someone else how much you love him and look up to him.

4. Encourage him

There are always down times in life, and during those times, you and your husband would have to encourage yourselves. Remind him how awesome he is every day, remind him of his past victories, and how he's still that person. Help him get back on his feet and keep going, it would be great for his self-esteem and for your family as a whole.

5. Give him some space

Everyone loves their alone time, it's actually quite healthy. Most times when your husband comes home from work, he may want to go straight to the room or study to unwind alone. There’s nothing wrong with this, just let him have his alone time.

6. Support him

Supporting your husband and his dreams and goals is very important. One of the main reasons for getting married is having a partner who supports you. If your husband decides to open a new business or would like to change his career, support and encourage him, be his cheerleader! That’s what makes the relationship healthy.

7. Say yes more often

After the marriage and honeymoon period is over, couples tend to stop trying. They stop compromising and doing things the other party loves to do. You can consciously decide to keep things fun and adventurous. Be his lover, confidant, and best friend; start by saying yes to some of the offers you usually reject from him.

8. Don’t shy away from arguments

don't shy away from arguments

Most couples think that arguments are signs of a failing marriage. Therapists have confirmed that arguments help create more positive communication flows between both of you. Don’t run from confrontation, face those tricky issues. This would help you both avoid passive-aggressiveness later on.

9. Encourage healthy living

Encouraging him to live a healthy lifestyle would show him how much you love him, and treasure the relationship. If you’re the one who cooks most of the time, make more healthy meals. If you’re both active people, you can go to the gym or run together every day. 

10. Keep his secrets

As a wife, don’t go telling people your husband's secrets, no one should know about his financial, health, or other issues. Even family members shouldn’t know what you and your husband discuss in confidence. You’re not just his wife and friend, you’re his confidante. So whenever you feel tempted to spill the beans on your pillow-talk, think again!

11. Be the initiator for change

Women usually feel like men have to be sex initiators all the time. This is just a myth, men find it attractive when their wife isn't too afraid to ask for what she wants. From time to time, take matters into your own hands, and don’t be afraid to make the first move. 

12. Think before you speak

Criticism is not always the way forward. Before you voice out a complaint about your husband to his face or happen to fall into the slippery slope of nagging, stop and think “Is it really that serious?”

13. Cook for him

There’s a truth to the cliche saying that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Men love good food, so how do you think he’d feel about the cook? Even if you don’t cook every blessed day, once in a while, surprise your husband with some warm delicious soul food that will get him to thank God he married you.

14. Be friendly with his parents

I know some women claim that their parents-in-law are difficult to be around. Even if he may pretend not to be bothered by this, it's really not very pleasant to him when you can't get along with his parents. A marriage is a merger of two families, not everything is about you.

15. Make time for him

Even though it seems cliche, you should always make time for your husband. Time together is very crucial for a marriage. Aside from your daily chores, taking care of the kids, your work, and perhaps your personal time, set some time aside for both of you. Give him at least one uninterrupted day or night, it's a non-verbal way of letting him know how special he is to you.

16. Pay him compliments

pay him compliments

Words of affirmation are more powerful than we realize, be it compliments about his character, his parenting, appearance, or overall performance, it definitely goes a long way. No man wants to feel unappreciated or go unnoticed, so don’t hold back when it comes to compliments.

17. Set aside a date night every week

Once in a while, stir up the spark. Set aside a date night for the both of you. Resist the urge to procrastinate and at least once a week steps out for a romantic dinner together. If perhaps you have kids, pay for a babysitter once in a while so you and your beau can relive your dating days.

18. Hangout with his friends

Don’t exclude yourself from his hangouts if you're invited. Whether you like his friends or not, try your best to join him and his friends for the hangouts especially if he wants you there. He may want to show you off or just crave your companionship. Be there for him.

19. Try to excuse some of his pet peeves

After being in a marriage for a while, the image you both have of each other tends to change. Most of the things he did that you thought were cute during your dating days, may not be so cute after a few years of marriage. Make a conscious effort not to get so upset.

20. Take care of yourself

It's no secret that looking good can boost your self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-image. Trust me there’s nothing sexier than a confident woman. Try your best to look good at all times, take your skincare, nail care, hair care, and overall grooming very seriously. Your personal hygiene is also very important.

21. Focus on him

We women love to talk, we love to be the ones sharing stories about our day, our opinions, and so on. Focus on his opinions, thoughts, and stories for a change. Give him time to talk about himself. If he doesn’t share one of his own, you could be the one to ask him.

22. Let him have his choices

Women tend to be micromanagers, they want to manage, plan and organise everything. Furnishing, home decor, meal choices, and more, it's normal for you to step up to the occasion even before being asked. For once let him choose, let him decide where the family is going on vacation or where you’re eating Sunday lunch. 

23. Keep the excitement alive

Show your excitement even with basic things, even as simple as getting back from work. Those everyday mini celebrations when he comes home could really make him feel loved. Teach the kids to welcome your husband when he gets home also.

24. Keep your wardrobe recent

keep your wardrobe recent

Don’t ever get tired of looking good and even trendy sometimes. Men are visual creatures, they love it when their partner looks good. Dress sassy and spontaneous both in front of him and when you’re away from him. That way you’d be representing him well. 

25. You need a loungewear makeover

Comfy clothes are just the best, especially for moms. No feeling can be compared to the one you get when you’re back home after a long day and you can finally slip into something nice and cozy. It wouldn’t hurt if this loungewear were both comfortable and sexy, give your man some eye candy to glance at while he’s relaxing at home. 

26. The small things matter

I know it's usually stressed that men should be the romantic ones, but romance should come from both parties. Doing something small and thoughtful for him daily would mean a lot to him even if he doesn’t voice it out. 

27. Respect him both in private and public

He’s the man of the house, and that counts for something. This means that he should be given some degree of respect. This doesn’t just apply to family gatherings or public places, but also when you’re both alone. Avoid talking down on him or raising your voice at him, you wouldn't like it if it was reciprocated. 

28. Find out his love language 

This seems irrelevant to some couples, but it can be and has been a game-changer for many. Knowing if your husband responds more to gift-giving, acts of service or physical touch could help you understand him more and make him happy. 

29. Trust him

Trust your husband; trust the way he raises your kids, his motives and plans for the family. Knowing you trust and depend on him, will give him more confidence in himself and boost his confidence to make better decisions. 

30. Appreciate him

appreciate him

Remember to show your appreciation for him as often as possible. It can be in the form of words or in the little things you do every day. Just be sure to acknowledge all that he does and show him how thankful you are about it.

31. Keep things playful

Playfulness is another way to keep things light and fun between your husband and yourself. Sex is not the only game that married people can play, you could relive childhood with each other on a daily basis if you choose to do so. Feed him, play tag, tickle him; whatever it is, keep the playfulness alive. You can check here for some ideas of playful things to do with him.

FAQs

What can I do to be a better wife?

To be a better wife, you need to learn to acknowledge the positive things that your husband does and learn to overlook the negative ones. Showing your appreciation for him would go a long way in boosting his self-confidence, in turn making him a better husband.

How should a husband treat his wife?

A husband should treat his wife with love and respect. Treating her as if her work or contribution to the family is somehow less important will only make her unhappy. He should also try his best to show her that he loves her, in this case, actions speak louder than words.

What is the most romantic saying?

There isn't just a single romantic saying that makes a woman swoon, there are a dozen statements a man could make that women find very romantic, depending on her preferences. Some of these include, “You’re always on my mind”, “You complete me”, “I would do anything for you”, “I’m so glad I found you”. 

What are good marriage questions?

There a million questions all married couples should ask themselves from time to time, to help remind themselves why they’re married and to keep the marriage strengthened. A few of them include “How am I doing as a husband or wife?” or “In what way can I improve as a husband/wife?”.

What should a housewife do?

As a housewife, it's easy to get lost in your chores and forget that you have a personal life. No matter how busy things get, It's important to make time for yourself. You can decide to work from home so you can make some money for yourself. You could also choose to take some online classes to improve your skills.

To Conclude

I hope you enjoyed this article. Remember, it's never too late to work on being a better wife. If you found this article helpful, please be sure to let me know what you think in the comment section below, and don’t forget to share this write up with friends and on your social media pages.

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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