How To Ask Out A Friend (7 Non-Awkward Ways)

by April Maccario

A lot of people find it quite challenging to ask a friend out, especially when it’s a good friend. As a matter of fact, it is quite easy asking a total stranger out than asking a friend. This is simply, however, connected to the many uncertainties lurking around that action. 

In general, asking a guy out is already challenging as it is, talk more of asking a guy friend. It’s one area ladies like to avoid because men are supposed to do the pursuing right? Plus, what if he says no? Studies have proven that nine in ten single ladies would not ask out a guy on a date. What could be the reason for this pattern of behavior? 

Dating a friend would be great, you already know and like each other, so the relationship stands the chance of running a lot smoother. However, there will always be doubts and hesitations, because no one wants to spoil a good friendship over a romantic relationship that may not even last.

Plus, we are more reserved when it comes to matters like this, the fear of saying something wrong, being rejected, or even losing the person as a friend can be scary.  This article will address how to successfully ask a friend out. However, I’ll start by shedding light on why some women may find it challenging to pursue a relationship with a close friend. 

Why Asking A Friend Out Is Challenging For Women

Social stigma

The society that we live in has instituted a social stigma on women in regards to issues like this. The situation has gone deep to the extent that women are socially sanctioned to wait for a guy to ask them out. 

Therefore, a woman is only allowed to choose from the list of men that have asked her out, but not encouraged to ask a random guy out, talkless of a friend. This social limitation placed on women has gone a long way to limit women who may want a relationship with one guy, but end up with the guy who was bold enough to make a move first. 

The man you truly like may either be too shy or oblivious of the feelings you have for him and sometimes, instead of risking it all and saying something, the thought of what people would say or think creeps in. 

Fear of rejection

Just like everyone else, women also have a phobia for rejection, the thought of asking a guy out and getting a ‘No,’ can be very scary for anybody. Do not forget that women are more reserved and restricted when it comes to this kind of issue, unlike their male counterparts who will keep trying their luck no matter how many times the girl says no. 

Hence, it takes much courage and effort for a lady to approach a guy, and the mere thought of being rejected is enough to deter any lady from attempting in the first place. 

How To Get A Date With A Friend

1. Prepare your speech

Prepare your speech

For starters, it is very important that you go over what you want to say to him especially if you are nervous about it. This would make you sound smart and confident, rather than confused and nervous.

It’s equally important that you choose your words carefully, if you think he likes you, say something like “I’m not sure how you feel about me, but I enjoy your company a lot. Can we go out sometime?’’ Keep it simple and try not to over complicate your message.

Also, make sure you choose the right time to initiate this conversation, it won’t be ideal thinking about how you can date a friend if he just lost someone, recently broke up, or is having issues at work. Doing it at the wrong time could spell doom and failure, you have to be conscious of his mood as well. Wait until he’s in a bubbly or maybe relaxed mood, and maybe when both of you are alone to set the mood.

2. Talk to mutual friends about it

Okay, so you like your friend, and you feel like he likes you too, but you need to make sure. One way to find out if this guy has even the littlest interest in you romantically would be by asking your trusted, mutual friends about it. Plus, talking to a close friend or two about it may actually boost your confidence, they may even put in a good word for you. 

It doesn’t have to be awkward, they just have to naturally compliment you when he’s around; talk about how caring, cheerful or independent you are, so the friend you like starts thinking about those amazing qualities more. If your mutual friends do this, and he says something negative or dismissing, this could also be a sign for you to back off.

3. Give him the option to say no

Although this step might not be very convenient for you as a woman, it is important that you give him the option of saying no. Do not look desperate or self-imposing, rather, allow him the liberty of either accepting to go on a date with you, or declining the offer without causing any severe damage to the relationship. This way, both of you can remain friends, and things won’t get too awkward.

4. Be cool and calm as usual

If you want this to be a success, it is important that you keep calm, and act natural, don’t start overcompensating because you want him to like you. Stay confident, well-composed, and smart looking. These attributes will only give you a higher chance of success

If you start smothering him with attention or being overly affectionate, your friend might feel uncomfortable, before you even get the chance to ask him on a date. 

5. Be clear about what you want

Just like every other point listed above is important, this one is also essential. There is no point beating about the bush; no need to be all giggly and laughing about everything, this only makes you look unserious. Make sure you’re clear and precise about what you want, if you want to be taken seriously, then you must sound serious and convincing enough.  

6. Be mindful of body language

Be mindful of body language

Most times, people agree to do things just so they don’t make the other person feel bad, or ruin a good relationship. In this case, they really do not want to explore a romantic relationship, they just do not want to be seen as a wet blanket. 

It is important that you take note of his body language when asking him out on a date, if he says yes, how exactly did he respond? Did it look genuine and did he sound sincere? Was he expecting this? Does he look excited about this? These signals are very vital, and should not be overlooked. 

7. Is this what you really want? 

This is just you making sure that you really like this guy and want to go out with him. It shouldn’t be one of those spontaneous feelings that sprung up that you’re trying to explore. You have to ascertain why you like him, is it real? Is it just for sex? Is it worth the risk? All of these questions should be answered and cleared before taking the bold step. 

FAQs

Is it a good idea to ask a friend out? 

Asking someone out is generally very exhausting and nerve-racking because it takes a lot of confidence. Also, the thoughts of getting turned down may keep lurking in your mind. Regardless, asking a friend out may or may not be a bad idea. If your friendship is strong and you feel it should be taken to another level, then there is really nothing wrong with that, especially when the other party feels the same way about you. However, things can get a little bit rough if you misread the signals, or he doesn’t feel the same way. 

It is weird to ask out a friend? 

There is a feeling of trepidation and uncertainty that comes with asking someone close to you out. This uneasiness usually arises from the fact that you are not sure if he feels the same way, what if he turns you down? What will happen to the friendship? Would things ever remain the same again? These thoughts make the entire process quite difficult and cumbersome to carry out. Regardless, there is nothing weird about it at all, if you really like him, and you are sure he likes you too, then shoot your shot; if it goes well, fine. If it doesn’t, at least be contented that you tried. 

How do you ask out a girl that is your friend?

Asking out a girl that is your friend can be challenging if you do not apply the right principles which include; be bold and confident; prepare your speech beforehand, don’t make it all about sex – that would ruin your chances faster than anything else, and talk to mutual friends about it as they always have useful advice to offer. 

How do you ask a friend out over a text? 

Asking someone out over a text may not be as easy as expected, however, if you apply the right principles, it could all end well. It is important that you use correct grammar and spelling; spend time talking about happy moments, make the text personal, give them time to respond, remember not to sound desperate about it. More so, it is also important that you be mindful of the time you decide to initiate this conversation, as always, the wrong time might spell doom. 

How do you tell if a friend likes you? 

Finding out if a friend likes you may not really be a challenge if you are smart and observant. Someone who likes you will always make out time for you, they will always want to be around you, listen to you, talk to your friends about you and try to impress you. If you pay close attention to details and body language of people around you, you should be able to detect if this friend is willing to take things to the next level and become your significant other.

Ultimately,

A lot of people find it quite challenging to ask a friend out, as a matter of fact, it is quite easy asking a total stranger out than asking a friend. This is simply, however, connected to the many uncertainties lurking around that action. However, there are basic steps which if applied properly, can make this process turn out smoothly. 

I hope you enjoyed this list, I’m looking forward to your comments on the matter, and if it helped you in any way, kindly share it with a friend or two that may need it. 

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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