How Long Does It Take For An Ex To Miss You With No Contact? (11 Factors To Make Your Ex Miss You More)

Last updated on June 4, 2022 by April Maccario

Breaking up with someone is a painful experience, especially when you still love that person. If they broke up with you, then having to live with the reality that they don’t want you is even more challenging. 

This is where the no contact rule comes into play. It’s only right to get out of his way and let him live his life, you can’t force love, right? Well, that’s the plan, if you want to get your ex back, then respect the no-contact rule, you might just get back together again. 

This article answers the question, “how long does it take for an ex to miss you with no contact?” with tips on how to make them want you back.

11 Tips To Make Your Ex Miss You More

1. Focus on no contact

focus on no contact

How long does it take for an ex to miss you with no contact? It should take from two to four weeks, depending on how you establish the no contact rule. If it’s correctly done, your ex-partner will miss you in the shortest span possible. If it is poorly executed, your ex-partner might not miss you at all. 

The no contact rule is a period where you deliberately refuse to respond or contact your ex in any way. The duration of this process will determine the question, “how long will it take for my ex to miss me?” Sometimes, when you give someone space, it makes them realize how much they miss you. 

The most important aspect of the no contact rule is preventing yourself from acting on impulse. You want to reach a stage where you’re accountable for every single action you take without regrets. 

Yes, you’ll miss him, but focus on the task at hand; maintaining the no-contact rule until he reaches out to you. 

However, not every single breakup might require the no contact rule. It depends on how the relationship ended. If there was a mutual understanding, then the two parties can choose to remain friends. On the other hand, if you want to make them miss you, you still have to establish the no-contact rule.

2. Appear intermittently

When your ex-partner gets used to both of you not talking and is silently missing you, this is the perfect time to show up out of the blues. The goal here is to create a desire in your ex’s head to work on amending things.

It might be exciting to see your ex once more, and you can’t resist talking to them and finding out how they’re doing. Nonetheless, regardless of how you feel at that moment, it’s best only to be seen by your ex-partner occasionally, and not frequently.

It’s also essential that communication is limited, but they know you can now be reached. This will increase the level of desire to get you back. For example, you can decide to take a break off social media immediately after the breakup. After about two weeks of no contact, you can reappear on social media. 

Your ex-partner might come across these pictures and possibly recall old memories. They might try to reach out to you, but remember that the no contact rule isn’t done yet, so you have to limit your communication with them even though you feel like making contact.

3. Don’t take it as a competition

It’s easy to mistake winning this guy back as a competition. If your ex-partner broke up with you, you might want to prove a point to them by winning them over. You might also be trying to prove a point to yourself by trying to get them to miss you in every way. So maybe if you win them over, you can finally get your self-esteem back. 

The truth is, if you’re trying to reunite with your ex-partner for any other reason apart from wanting to rebuild a proper relationship with them, then it’s not a healthy move. If your motives aren’t right, the relationship might end up falling apart the second time. If you don’t want to have the back and forth of getting back together and breaking up again, you must have clear and honest motives.

It would help if you accepted the fact that your ex-partner might not want to reunite with you at the end of the day, and that’s alright. If you feel like getting them back is something you must achieve at all costs, then you would jeopardize your happiness for something that might fail

Rebuild your self-esteem, and understand that your self-esteem has nothing to do with whether your ex-partner wants you back or not. 

4. Work on yourself

Being single isn’t as fun as being in a relationship, but most times, being single is necessary if it’ll prevent you from being in an unhealthy relationship. For every breakup, there is a lesson both parties need to learn from. You need to assess where exactly the problem was and what resulted in the separation. 

It would be best if you also determined where you made some mistakes and how you contributed to the failed relationship. It gives people an amount of time to work on themselves, accept that they are happy and comfortable being by themselves, before catering to someone else’s needs. 

If the only reason why you want to reunite with this guy is that you hate feeling lonely, then you would not be prepared to handle the relationship when it comes. 

It would be best to make conscious efforts to work on yourself, be genuinely happy, and correct some of your flaws, before embracing the idea of reuniting with this guy. Strive to make the future relationship even better than before, with a conscious effort to avoid previous mistakes. 

5. Be truthful to yourself

be truthful to yourself

You probably miss this the way you and this guy had been when you were still in a relationship. However, as much as you are trying to keep to the no-contact rule, stay true to yourself. How did things end? Have you broken up more than once

This is your chance to re-evaluate the relationship, yes, you might miss him, but is this guy really good for you? Or does he even want you back? The circumstances of the breakup will give you more insight on this; was there someone else in the picture? 

Were there any underlying severe issues? Even if there wasn’t, are you sure getting back with this person is the best choice? If it’s not,  then it’s time to move on. If you can compromise, then it’s inevitable the relationship will be better. Whatever the situation is, remain truthful to yourself about the facts. 

6. Get help from others

You’ve kept the no-contact rule, you haven’t sneaked a peek at his social media pages, you’ve even started yoga classes to keep you calm (maybe). So what’s next? Well, you may need some extra hands if you want this guy to come rushing back to you. 

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They could be mutual friends or anyone you can trust to accomplish the task. You would need someone who can get close enough to your partner and give you some intel on him. Does he miss you? Has he mentioned your name since the break-up? Things like that. 

On the other hand, this person could also help tell the guy something about you. How well you’re doing, how good you looked when they saw you, just to pique his interest. This process might make them want you more, so it’s essential to establish it well. You don’t want to make the situation look staged; else, it would be a total turn-off to your ex-partner. 

You only want to make them realize that you’re doing better than expected. The friend you select would have to subtly introduce the topic and not overshadow the entire conversation by tales of your exploits. The discussion will also have to be light and conversational so that things can happen naturally. 

7. Plan an unexpected meet

The next part of the plan to make is to stage an unexpected meet-up. You would have to bump into your ex-partner to show them in person what they’ve been missing. To accomplish this, you need to recall certain habits about your partner, for example, shopping habits. You’ll need to get the timing right and maybe go with someone else. 

Note, you’re not trying to get him jealous, the person should be more of a support system or a wing woman that ensures you don’t do anything stupid. If he’s going to be at the supermarket, you need to be there at the right time, and act cool, calm, and collected. When you eventually bump into him, keep the conversation short and friendly. 

Act like old friends that just reunited, but still, keep your distance, you could pay him a compliment, then tell him it was nice running into him. You don’t want to act like you don’t know him, that would be fake. Remember, be casual, don’t be flirty, and keep the conversation short. 

If he had any real feelings for you, he’d probably start missing you even more. This gives you the advantage to swoop in and get your ex-partner back.

8. Maintain your cool

Your ex might want to know about your new life without them, and as a result, might ask people about you. This is why it’s important not to involve too many people in the plans of getting your ex back. It’s important not to talk about your ex to anyone else apart from helping you.

When your ex-partner eventually asks around, they would find out that you’ve been on a low profile for a while. When they find out that you haven’t been asking about him, your apparent disinterest will make your ex-partner want you more

When your ex eventually contacts you, which is quite possible with this step, it’s essential to stay in the middle of interest and disinterest. You want this guy to start missing you enough to regret breaking up with you, so you shouldn’t seem needy. 

This reason is why it’s essential to maintain your cool throughout the process. Ask how they’re doing and don’t meddle too much. Chances are, it won’t take long before your ex comes crawling back into your arms.

9. Get back into the game

After maintaining your cool for a while, and creating the impression that you’ve been keeping your cool, the next thing to do is to liven things up. If you were more outgoing before the breakup, you must get back into the game. At this point, most of the work would have been accomplished, so all you have to do is wait. 

In the meantime, it doesn’t hurt to have some fun in the process. Post on social media more often, make new friends and generally be optimistic about your life. Be careful not to throw shades at your ex-partner though. It’s only normal to be hurt after the breakup, you might even want to post negative things on your social media about the downsides of relationships – don’t! 

Look inwardly to find positive motivation for your actions, you want your ex back because you miss them and the relationship you had together. As a result, try to retain those positive thoughts, without leaving a wrong impression on the internet.

The process of respecting and using the no-contact rule is for your ex-partner to respond and want you back. It might take a while though, so it’s advised to get comfortable. Go out more often and try to forget about the waiting period. 

10. The actual meet-up should be casual

the actual meet-up should be casual

Your ex might make contact with you a few weeks after the breakup. It’s only normal that he wants to see you in person after all the distance between you two. Sooner or later, they won’t be able to deny the fact that they miss you. Your ex-partner wanting to meet up doesn’t necessarily mean they want to reunite, they might be trying to start a friendship, which is a great start. 

Don’t rush him, it’s even better to listen more and talk less, don’t make any suggestions. However, don’t mask your feelings, he may suggest something you’re not okay with, don’t go along with it just because you feel that’s what he wants.

For example, if he reaffirms that he doesn’t want the relationship anymore, but is willing to be friends, let him know your thoughts on that. This may be the last time you guys are hanging out like this, so let him know that you still have feelings for him, but you’re willing to give him the space he needs.

He may be feeling the same thing, but a lot of times, ego and pride get in the way. However, it doesn’t matter who says it first, it doesn’t even matter if he reciprocates those feelings. What matters is that you’re honest, and get the closure that you need. 

11. Address the situation head-on

The worst thing you can do is act utterly oblivious to the real issue when you meet up with your ex. You might want to start something on a fresh note, but it’s quite apparent both of you will be thinking about what caused the breakup in the first place. Choosing not to settle the dispute immediately will make both of you carry the baggage to a latter part of the relationship.  

Another mistake you might be tempted to make is to lighten up the moment with too many compliments. You’ll want to make your ex-partner feel good, so you might say they look good, smile ridiculously, and create a charming impression. The truth is, your ex already knows you, so it’s best to cut to the chase and identify the problem. 

All issues that need clarification should be sorted out before the friendship begins. This will give both of you healthy soil to grow a profitable relationship.


Does your ex miss you during no contact?

The no contact rule is essential after a breakup, the two parties will need space to clear their head and properly reassess what the problem was. When there’s space, your ex-partner will realize all the right things associated with being with you, and will inevitably miss you.

How long does it take for an ex to come back?

If no contact is handled correctly, it should take your ex-partner two to three weeks before they try to make contact again. By this time, they would have realized the benefits of being a couple. This, however, might vary, depending on what a person feels is best for himself. 

How long is too long for the no contact rule?

The no-contact rule should be established for a minimum of four weeks. By this time, both parties would know how they genuinely feel about themselves, and wouldn’t be forced to act on impulse. However, anything outside the confines of four to eight weeks can be considered too long. 

How long does it take for a guy to realize he misses me?

It should take a guy about two to three weeks to realize how much they miss you with the no contact rule. This can vary depending on the severity of the problem that caused the breakup. Another downside is that he might miss you but refrain from establishing communication. 

Will no contact make him forget me?

In most cases, it’s hard to forget an ex-partner. The no-contact rule only gives your ex-partner some space to determine whether he wants you back or not. If he decides he doesn’t, then it’s only advisable to provide him with more room. If he likes you, he won’t hesitate to come back.

To Conclude

Did you enjoy reading this article? Don’t be too fixated on the aftermath of your breakup or get depressed keeping the no-contact rule. Instead, focus on being genuinely happy, and things would turn out fine. Kindly leave a comment if you liked this article, and share it with friends. 

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April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

2 comments on “How Long Does It Take For An Ex To Miss You With No Contact? (11 Factors To Make Your Ex Miss You More)”

  1. my ex left me and blocked my number.
    but she at times talks to me bitterly with short smiles.
    An when ever I give her some money for help she pretends not to take but she can take it at last. what is the secret behind this?

  2. Your article was insightful
    Thank you much appreciated
    No matter at what age we go through breakups it’s hard to know to do the right thing …
    It was very helpful…
    I will take your advice n focus on myself n let destiny detail what’s next .. god bless

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