12 Undeniable Traits Of A High Maintenance Man And What To Do

Last updated on June 12, 2022 by April Maccario

What do you think of when you hear someone talking about a high maintenance man? Does it make you think about a person who requires a lot of work?

This subject is near and dear to my heart because I’ve been called high maintenance before. I learned a lot about the subject and how to overcome it, too.

According to Forbes, high maintenance people are basically unhealthy people who drain the energy right out of you. Ugh! That’s no fun!

Have you ever been around someone who just drains the life out of you? It actually requires work on your part just to be around that person, right? What fun is that?

Instead, don’t you wish someone like that would just grow up? It’s easy being around people that are like us; it’s a challenge being around people who require lots of extra help with every single thing they do. 

However, don’t we sometimes like a challenge, especially when it comes to our love life?

In this post, we will take a look at exactly what the signs of a high maintenance man are plus what you can do if you find yourself up against one of these fellas!

Top Traits Of A High Maintenance Man

1. He is very impatient

Does he require that you answer the phone after a certain number of rings or throw a fit if you don’t respond to his texts and emails right away? This is one of those obvious signs of high maintenance men. He may just have a short attention span, but this behavior can take its toll on you after a while. 

Try being more of a problem solver. If he has a need, figure out why he is that way, and see if the two of you can work out a compromise.

2. He tends to be self-centered

He tends to be self-centered

Does the world need to revolve around him rather than the two of you? Is he mostly concerned with his needs rather than yours? The world isn’t going to end if he doesn’t get his way, even if he thinks it will. Your guy may have an unhealthy sense of entitlement. Tame his ego and learn to say, "No". Put your needs first sometimes.

3. His level of neediness is overwhelming

Does your boyfriend always expect you to get things for him when he can just as easily get up and get them on his own? The best way to overcome this problem is to allow him to tend to himself; make him get up, and get his own drink. Remember, you aren’t his slave or property. You are his girl; he should be showering you with affection and love.

4. He’s a good talker but not a good listener

Is your guy super talkative but a poor listener? He probably loves being the center of attention and just wants someone to listen to what he has to say. Let him know that you are happy to listen - sometimes, but that you would like to be the one talking more often.

5. He’s quite negative

Your guy may find the negative in every situation. Does he complain quite frequently? He may find a hurdle in every situation, even if there really isn’t anything there. 

To combat negativity, try offering a positive point of view. Encourage him to look at the brighter side of life. Be a good example to him, and show him how life has many wonderful things to offer. 

6. The drama follows him wherever he goes

Is he always having a meltdown over something? Instead of seeing things for how they are, does your man see every inconvenience as a crisis? 

This can be very exhausting. The best thing you can do with a guy like this is to stay patient and calm. Reassure him that everything isn’t going to fall apart because of a tiny mistake. Lead by example.

7. He’s rather vain

Oh, the pretty boys! We love to look, don’t we? But, man, can they be exhausting? They have a tight gym schedule and spend more time in the bathroom getting ready than you do, right? Remember the reasons that you love this man when you feel frustrated. 

This is a classic sign of someone who is high maintenance. They care way too much about the way they look. Soothe their ego by letting them know how attractive you find them to be. Compliment them and be flexible, especially if you want to get out the door at a certain time. 

8. His level of pickiness is out of this world

He only wants to stay in the best hotels, drink the finest wine, and dine in the most expensive restaurants. Perhaps, he can’t stand the outdoors or is picky in some other annoying way. If you find this high maintenance behavior to be unacceptable, you may be better off without him, but if you are madly in love, have patience. 

Learn to love the same things he does, so that you don’t feel so inconvenienced when he is particular about the smallest details. You may later find this trait to be endearing. Remember the reasons why you fell in love with him when you feel frustrated. That should help you keep everything in perspective. 

9. He’s very insecure

Most of the signs listed in this article are due to insecurity. This is because most high maintenance men don’t actually feel very good about themselves. That’s why they are overly concerned with their appearance and what other people think of them. 

If you have chosen to be with someone who is high maintenance, I recommend taking the necessary steps to let him know you love him for how he is. Tell him he looks great just as he is! You love him, no matter what! This will help him feel better about himself.

10. He has a short temper

High maintenance people are typically not very patient. They have short fuses. Signs like this are dangerous, especially if he’s gotten violent with his temper. Be sure to end the relationship if his temper turns abusive or toxic. You deserve better than that, and hopefully, you know that!

11. He brings up faults all the time

He brings up faults all the time

If your high maintenance man always brings up mistakes from the past that you made, this can really take a toll on your relationship. You may need to have a nice, friendly conversation about this problem. After all, you don’t want to live in the past forever!

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This is a very unhealthy sign in a relationship. Try to remind your boyfriend that he has had faults in the past, too, and you don’t bring them up all the time. Tell him you’d appreciate it if he’d start trying to do the same for you.

12. He’s intrusive

Does your boyfriend insist on you telling him things that you aren’t comfortable sharing? Does he seem to think that every detail matters, when really it does not? If you feel your man is crossing a line, set up some boundaries. Let him know what bothers you; don’t be afraid to be honest about what you want to share and what’s none of his business.

How To Best Handle A High Maintenance Man

My first recommendation is to end it with this guy. If you have realized that he’s over-the-top, you may be better off finding someone who is more like you. Often, if you voice your concerns with your boyfriend, he will adjust his behavior. He may not even realize he is being like that. He may find himself embarrassed over his behavior and be apologetic to you. 

If you explain what’s wrong and no change occurs at all, and it seems he couldn’t care less, you may want to walk away. Walking away can actually serve you well for many reasons. The main reason being that he may realize what he’s missing out on now that you are gone. In that case, he’ll want you back and will do whatever it takes to win you over. Now, that’s a success story!

If you aren’t sure how he will react to this news but want to talk it over, you can always just try addressing a single issue rather than all of them at the same time. For example, just say you have noticed that when the two of you converse that you don’t get a chance to talk much and would like the chance to talk more, having him listen to you. See how he reacts to that request.


What is a high maintenance man?

Usually, a guy like this is very particular and fussy about things. These men require quite a bit of patience and care. In fact, you must be prepared for just about anything. They see life as one giant scoreboard, and they must win!

How can you tell if someone is high maintenance?

One characteristic of a person like this is them throwing fits if they don’t get their way, similar to a child. You may find that nothing satisfies them, because they always want something better than what they currently have.

What is a high maintenance relationship?

A relationship like this requires a lot of work. Women who are in relationships with high maintenance men must have a lot of patience, a great deal actually! Their men may be self-centered and overly picky about everything. These women should decide if it’s worth it to stay or not.

How can you tell if a girl is a high maintenance?

Usually, women who are high maintenance are overly concerned with their appearance; these women may also hate the outdoors or anywhere where their needs are not being met. Women like this may come across as spoiled. Men with women like this must decide if they are worth it or not.

What does emotionally high maintenance mean?

Being emotionally high maintenance may entail passive-aggressive behavior. This means the person may expect you to read their mind to tell what kind of mood they are in and why, so you can fix the situation when really you have no idea what’s going on. 

To Sum Things Up…

How do you define high maintenance? Is your boyfriend fussy and particular about things to an extreme extent? How have you best been able to handle your situation?

Please share your experience in the comments section below! I’d love to hear from you!

Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes?
We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship.

It almost makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or whether he's just stringing you along.

Why don't you take this quick free quiz to see if he actually likes you!

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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