Having Doubts About Relationship (31 Ways To Handle The Situation)

Last updated on July 4, 2022 by April Maccario

First, you need to understand that it's completely normal to have doubts as humans. While you might even love your partner undoubtedly to the moon and back, doubting a relationship is still possible. Whatever may be the reason for having them, it's important to address them quickly, especially when you've started feeling less sure about your relationship. 

Research shows that obsessing over uncertainties can cause emotional distress. The truth is; doubts are nothing to worry about sometimes, while at other times, they might be pointers or warning signs. Therefore, immediate action could save you some hassle in the near future. 

With all of these in mind; If you are feeling a little uncomfortable confronting your doubts, especially when you are not sure why you have them, that's fine, we all need a little help from time to time. 

Why don't you draw strength from this article which addresses ways to help you manage those unsettling feelings so you can have better clarity. 

Contents

31 Ways To Handle Doubts in a Relationship 

When You Are Spending Less Time Together

1. Communicate your fears

Miscommunication could make you doubt your partner. When both of you keep important information from one another, doubt will surely creep in. There’s a very thin line between doubt and distrust, so if your partner is doing things that are making you question everything, it’s time to start communicating with him. 

2. Workout a solution together

Long-term relationships need even more trust than the ones that are just starting out. You don’t want to come so far with this guy and throw everything you’ve worked for away. Rather than building up on doubt, it’s important to work towards a solution together.

3. Plan a day out

After letting your fears known, it’s best to plan an outing together. It will help ease the tension, make you more comfortable, and improve communication between you and your partner.

4. Plan surprises

If he's so busy finding a specific day to spend quality time with you, you can as well bridge the gap by surprising him. If your relationship is at that stage where you have his apartment key, you can surprise him by arriving at his place before him to cook a nice dinner for you both. 

5. Acknowledge his efforts

As your partner makes efforts to fix the issues, it might be nice for you to communicate how it makes you feel that he cares about your feelings. Acknowledge his efforts in trying to make the relationship work despite his busy schedule. Sending a text like “thank you so much for making time out today, you make me feel special and loved.”

When People Are Fueling Your Doubts

6. Don't discard their opinion, they may be right

If besties, family members, or colleagues are giving you reasons to doubt your partner, it's okay if you want to consider their opinion. Sometimes, the third party can see what you can't about your relationship. No need to make your man feel uncomfortable by confronting him. You can put your FBI pants on and do a little snooping. If there's nothing, just let it go.

7. Stay away from negative people

stay away from negative people

If you have friends or colleagues who may have had negative experiences in their relationships, it's quite normal for such people to see negatives in most situations. The best thing is to draw the line when it comes to your relationship. They may not be bad people; however, they may not be so great at giving relationship advice either.

8. Don't share everything on social media

You are not Kim Kardashian, so you might want to keep some details about your everyday life private. If they don't see anything, they can’t fill your head with doubts that are probably baseless.

9. Don't operate with extreme ideologies

I'm a woman and a feminist. Trust me; I've heard some weird and extreme opinions saying women shouldn't express their feelings towards their men because it will make them weak. Relationships are all about sacrifices, having a template ideology that your man doesn't deserve your love could make you have doubts about him altogether.

10. Avoid strong opinions from others

There's no one-size-fits-all when it comes to relationships. The ‘must’ word is rigid and doesn't allow room for reasoning. For example, if you adopt the idea that your man ‘must’ answer whenever you call him, it means you have created reasons to make yourself doubt him. Avoid assuming that he ‘must’ be with another woman if he can't find time to be with you on weekends.

When Your Doubts Are Generic

11. Avoid trigger situations that make you doubt

When your partner hasn't done anything suspicious to make you feel he's unfaithful, make sure you avoid dwelling on scenarios that'll amplify those doubts. For example, if you call him and there's no response, don't obsess over it. Settle it in your mind that he's just busy and he'll get back to you later.

12. Counter your doubtful feelings

This point is more of a mind-training exercise. If you notice the feeling of doubt creeping in, try to counter the thought with a happy feeling. You can also engage in a productive activity such as reading a book or going for a workout to clear your head of those thoughts.

13. Bring in the experts

If it's clear your doubts are baseless, and you can't seem to move on, it's time to seek professional help. You can talk to a therapist who doubles as a relationship expert; perhaps a nasty breakup is affecting your ability to trust again.

14. Bring him into the picture

bring him into the picture

After trying to manage it all by yourself, you can also calmly tell him how you feel without being desperate. Tell him how much you love him, reassurance from your partner will probably make you feel a lot better.

15. Focus on improving you

A baseless feeling of doubt might be a result of dwindling self-esteem. You don’t want these feelings to totally crush your self-confidence, so it’s time to get clear of those thoughts and start doing the things you love. Focus on improving yourself regardless of how you feel about your partner.

Records of Unfaithfulness 

16. Give him the benefit of doubt

A partner who has cheated at one point or another will easily make you have doubts. Whenever he comes late, or he's secretive with his phone, it's natural to feel unsettled because he has been unfaithful before. 

Well, you might be wrong. Just because your partner has cheated before doesn't mean he's doing it now. If you are having difficulties trusting him, take some time to yourself and clear your mind.

17. Decide if the doubts are deal-breakers

As said earlier, doubts in a relationship are normal. However, when the source is from a lying, unrepentant partner, it might not be a bad idea to start considering a new relationship. 

If your man is always giving you reasons to feel he's cheating, it's best to put your sanity first. Unrepentant cheats are not only deceptive but also manipulative and abusive. You deserve a healthier relationship.

18. Do some digging

Because reports have it that some men who have cheated before do so again, you might want to be sure he has genuinely changed and is not just being extra-careful. Research shows that men have a surprisingly dangerous ability that helps them cheat. They can compartmentalize their lives to the extent that one functions exclusively off the other. 

Frustrated that he doesn't pay you as much attention as he used to?
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It makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or not.

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If you are not extra smart, you won't catch some men cheating. Get a private detective if you want. It can be emotionally draining living with someone you don't have total trust for, so it's best to clear the doubts and enjoy your relationship.

19. Talk about your doubts with him

Let him know it's not healthy for a person to live with a paranoid feeling. You were not like that before, and you would like to trust him again completely. Understanding how you feel can make him go the extra mile in earning your trust again. 

20. Talk to someone you trust

It's not a bad idea to open up to a friend or family member about how you feel. Make sure they are not overly judgmental or critical people who always see the wrong sides of things. Remember; you are aiming at clearing your doubts, not trying to complicate them. 

When You Are Not Sexually Satisfied

21. Talk to him

talk to him

Research shows that sex is one of the biggest deal-breakers in relationships. In fact, it's one of the yardsticks for measuring healthy young relationships. Therefore, If you are having doubts stemming from sexual dissatisfaction before you hit the road, it’s better to talk to him first. 

I've seen a lot of women that are often shy about telling their men how they feel in the bedroom. But the problem might be easy to fix by just being honest. 

22. Get clear about what you want

If there's a specific spot or way you desire to be touched, please let him know.

23. Teach him

Instead of worrying about sexual incompatibility, teach one another how you want to be touched. The truth is, those that are good at it had to learn. A miserable sex life can be a bummer, but it doesn't have to be a deal-breaker.

24. Commend him if there's an improvement

You've talked about not being satisfied; if he has stepped up his game, let him know how happy you feel about the changes.

25. Be honest

If there's no improvement, be honest, with one another. It might be better to break up now instead of cheating with someone else due to sexual dissatisfaction. 

When The Future Of The Relationship Doesn't Look Clear

26. Communication is vital

While the ‘future talk’ sometimes depends on how long but mostly how well the relationship is going, there's nothing wrong with asking your man his plans for the future. 

You don't want to look desperate, so you can invite him over to your parents' home for dinner to see how he'll react. His reaction to such questions may clear any doubt you have entertained about your partner.

27. Be clear about your goals

There's no perfect time to talk about what you want from a relationship. Please make sure you are clear and let your man be clear about his as well. This way, you'll know if goals are aligned instead of being in doubt

28. Don't allow outside pressure

dont allow outside pressure

Sometimes, you can cause unnecessary relationship doubts by allowing an external standard to determine your relationship's direction. For example, wanting to get married at the same time as your besties. This way, you can end up pushing your partner away, thereby ruining a long-term relationship. 

29. Don't seek external validation

If you are one of those that won't feel they are doing right until they receive validation from external sources, then you'll always second-guess yourself and your partners. Nothing will feel right as your decision-making ability will become eroded with doubt. 

28. Values may be different

Values shape us, and they guide us towards the kind of person we would like to be. It is possible to be in a relationship with someone you don't share the same values with because sometimes we don't plan love; it just happens sometimes. But once you start doubting if our partner's value aligns with yours, it's a pointer you shouldn't ignore. Your doubts may be a warning.

31. Reconfirm he's the right one

When a guy isn't steering the wheels of the relationship towards the future but only living in the moment, it's expected that you’ll doubt or rethink your choices. Here's the truth, when you chose to date him, falling head-over-heels in love might not happen initially. 

But when it does, you start to hope for more. The doubts in our mind are sometimes a kick-back-to-reality telling us to wake up from the dream-world as our current relationship might not be heading anywhere with the current guy.

FAQs

What does it mean if you have doubts about your relationship?

Doubts are normal in relationships; however, they are also pointers or red flags we shouldn't ignore. You can have doubts if you feel your partner is being dishonest or cheating, and you want to take the relationship to the next level. They can also be your kick-back-to-reality that the person may not be right for you.

Should you tell your partner if you have doubts?

It's important to be honest with your man in your relationship. Once you can pinpoint the source of your doubts, it's okay to share with your partner, especially if he can help clear whatever the doubt may be.

Is it normal to have second thoughts about a relationship?

Yes, second thoughts may come as cold feet when we want to take a bigger step like getting married, it may also be a sixth sense telling you to check if he's the one you truly want.

Is it normal to have doubts at the beginning of a relationship?

Doubts can creep in at any time. What's essential is to know why you have them. If they are baseless, let them go so you can enjoy your relationship. However, if they won't leave, they might be pointers to be careful or simply because you've had one too many heartbreaks in the past. 

How do you know a relationship will last?

Nothing is absolutely certain. Relationships are like flowers; if you put in the effort, they can blossom into something extraordinary that'll last ‘till death do you part.’ 

To Conclude

Did you enjoy the article? The list is not exhaustive; however, you'll find them useful for the various reasons you’re having doubts. The article even looks at how to manage doubts in your relationship when you are not sure why you have them. It'll be nice to know what you think, so please drop a comment and share this if you liked it.

Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes?
We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship.

It almost makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or whether he's just stringing you along.

Why don't you take this quick free quiz to see if he actually likes you!

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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