Falling In Love Too Quickly? (13 Vital Questions to Ask Yourself)

by April Maccario

Falling in love too quickly is a dangerous move to make when you meet someone. There’s so much more to a person than what meets the eye, so it’s best you relax and ease yourself into a connection with a person before you conclude such a powerful feeling

In fact, if you’re one of those people who tend to fall in love too quickly, it’s hardly something good. Everyone should protect their hearts, nobody would do that for you, and if you love too fast, it's like opening a window to vulnerabilities. Certainly, many relationships that begin in a rush end up in tears. 

Don’t get me wrong; I understand the euphoria that comes with meeting someone new who is just sweet, sensitive to your emotions, funny and other things that interest you in a partner, but that's not enough to guarantee love. Even though you feel tingly when you are around this person, it could just be a physical attraction, not love. And you won’t have a chance to figure this out if you rush.

So, to help you get through these emotions, below are a few things you need to be smart about when falling in love. 

Falling In Love Too Fast - Things You Really Need to Consider

1. What Does Love Mean To You?  

Some people don't understand the weight of the word ”love.” Only teenage relationships are clouded with random blurts of the ‘love’ word the moment one person finally gets a few minutes with a crush.  Even though it’s simple to say, ‘I love you’, one really must mean it when it’s said. The sad truth is that many people really don’t mean or feel it. Hence why a good number of relationships fail.

It’s challenging to take an adult who devalues the concept seriously. Love is not a joke; it’s not something you say just to get someone in bed with you or to a stranger you want to stick around. If you value love, you wouldn’t do anything “fast” about it; 

Rather, I'd suggest being a little patient; understand what your feelings are and where they are taking you before going with the flow. 

2. What Do You Love About Them? 

Writing out a list of what you love about a person you are currently dating or literally just came back from a  date with will help you determine whether this is happening too fast or not. 

Also, consider how many dates you have been on. Does your list make you feel like it's an essential attraction? Or are you just afraid to lose the buzz you currently feel? Falling in love, is no doubt, a beautiful thing, but it can get ugly when you fall in love too fast with the wrong person, which is why you should not rush into it. 

Take your time; you will get there eventually if this is it. So many feelings can mask themselves as love; I mean, it's exciting to meet someone new. But have you ever wondered whether it's the tingly butterflies you enjoy instead? 

Although many people really believe in love at first sight, it doesn't always mean it’s real love but rather, an intense attraction that makes someone open to a shot at a relationship. So, be careful and acknowledge where you are in your life emotionally.

3. Do You Look Desperate?

The moment you start revealing too many strong feelings with a person you just met, you might appear as desperate. When it becomes evident that your feelings are moving too fast, it's not unusual for the person to withdraw. Make no mistake; nobody likes a desperate man or woman. 

The truth is that, with a touch of desperation, you can do practically anything to get what you want, and that's pretty scary. More so, falling in love too fast can equally make you seem cheap. People don't always say it out loud, but we all love a little challenge when it comes to love; anything that's too easy, is easily dismissed. 

With this in mind, you don't want to give off the wrong impression or end things way before they begin. So, I will advise you to simply enjoy the friendship, share beautiful moments, whilst also living your life around yourself and pursue other things you really want out of life that go beyond relationships. Believe me, a relationship that starts on a desperate foot won't go far at all. To wrap things up, try not to love too fast even though it's tempting. 

4. Are You Guarding Your Heart?

Guarding your heart is something else that will prevent you from falling in love too fast. Don't give your heart out at the slightest giddy feeling. That's a dangerous tactic because love often leaves you very vulnerable. It's possible that the other person is not on the same page as you are. As a result, they're going to hang you out to dry. 

It takes a conscious effort and commitment to fall in love and if you really wear your heart on your sleeves as I do, try not to toss your emotions up in the air by rushing into love; trust me when things don’t go as planned, it stings a lot. 

Take your time to build a friendship and connection; so, whether or not the romantic relationship works out well, you still have a decent bond. Furthermore, you really don’t want your feelings to be taken advantage of; you just met this person, and there are still many things you don't know. 

5. Have You Considered All The Uncertainties?

Certainly, if you’re the kind of person that falls in love too fast, you will know all the uncertainties that such acts come with. This includes the ‘maybes’ and ‘what if’s’. Hence why I'd advise you to get some answers to the questions in your head before falling for a person. Certainly, you won't have all the answers, but you'll have enough information to walk head high into the relationship. And if you feel uncertain about your feelings, who's to say you'd be able to trust the other person's?  

Also, I do understand that being too doubtful is not good energy to begin a stable relationship since love is based on trust. However, if you don’t trust yourself to make the right choice, you’ll always question the integrity of the relationship. You might even start questioning just about everything at the slightest bump in the road, considering love itself is usually a bumpy ride. 

Nevertheless, all that constant doubt is unhealthy. So, take as much time as you want to process your feelings; make sure you’re determined to love the person you claim to love, and that the feeling doesn’t spring from desperation or low self-esteem. 

6. Are You Too Co-Dependent? 

Falling in love too fast is a strong sign of codependency.  It means you're unable to do one thing or another alone, even though you’d normally be able to manage such things when you’re single. However, if you admit that you're one of those people who find it challenging to be alone, so you're always on a quest to find a person to lean on, it's possible to find a partner who doesn't mind how codependent you are, but that is hard to come by. 

Most men like women who can handle situations when they are not around. So, you don't want to come off as needy and clingy in relationships, as it’s too stressful for the other person to deal with. 

You have to be able to learn to be your own person. Think for yourself, make reliable decisions, and stand by them. Getting easily attached to a person without second thoughts can creep that person out. You see, loving someone too fast pushes your codependent traits to the extreme, plus you equally look desperate. There's no reality where that's a good mix at all. 

7. Is It Really Healthy?

If you're fond of falling in love too quickly, there's also a high chance you often fall in love with the wrong people. Nobody enjoys being heartbroken or rejected by a person they love; it hurts a lot. What’s more, going through such psychological pain is unhealthy, and this again another reason to guard your heart. 

If most times, the person you want doesn't fall for you or doesn’t feel the same way romantically and ends up breaking your heart, this can lead to depression. You might start diminishing yourself and believing that you are impossible to love when the real problem is that you're simply moving too fast. 

The good news is that you can look at it this way; if you keep putting yourself in a position to get hurt, you will be hurt. Every time you get dumped, there's a fresh pain that, with time, drills a hole in your heart. 

You'll start finding it difficult to trust people, but at the slightest flicker of emotion, you'll jump in again to find what you crave. Then you'll continue the vicious cycle of disappointment, and that's not healthy. 

8. He Just Might Be The Wrong Person 

When you fall in love too fast, it simply means you do not take time to vet the person you're falling in love with. I personally don't think anyone should rush into love; yes, it's safe to like a person you meet, but enjoy their company a little bit before diving into a commitment as massive as love. More so, there's a high chance he isn't the one for you. 

Furthermore, you don't want to spend your time trying to fix something that will not work out eventually. And as much as loving someone is a risk, it's calculated risk-taking. If you keep tossing your heart out every chance you get, love could end up meaning nothing to you in the long run. 

Worse yet, if you give your heart out to the wrong person, you could be taken advantage of. At that point, it may be too late to wriggle out of it. So, take your time to answer all the essential questions that help you understand who they are and if they are compatible. 

Think of it this way; it’s like throwing yourself in a lake you haven’t swum in before or know nothing about - something dangerous could be lurking around. 

9. Do You Have Low Self-Esteem? 

Falling in love too soon can sometimes point towards low self-esteem. It’s almost as if you need a person that will make you feel good. Nobody enjoys being around a person who continually doubts themself and equally doesn’t know their worth. The truth is - if you know your worth, you won't give your heart out so quickly. 

Give the person who wants to be with your time to win your heart, it shows self-worth. You don't need anyone to put a value on you, because no one knows the right rates but you. So, take time out to really appreciate who you are; have a date with yourself, and put that love you are after back into your life by pampering yourself. Honestly, if you cannot love yourself, what is to say that someone else can?

10. Are You Thinking Too Much?

Continually analyzing the state of things once someone comes into your life is something toxic many of us do. Rather, one should go with the flow or stay focused on enjoying those cherished moments in life. If not, you're sure to jump to all sorts of conclusions. And I know it's easier said than done but it's essential not to step back when you start reading meaning into things. 

It also helps if you're open about your feelings; ask direct questions rather than assuming. Don't let yourself get lost worrying about the future of a relationship that just began. Try to be in control of your feelings and simply allow yourself to enjoy where this is going. 

Also, taking things at face value becomes more comfortable after a lot of practice. You'll be fine if you just keep it simple at every step, so you don't rush things. And don't forget, there's nothing you can do to influence a person's feelings; they will feel the way they feel regardless. 

11. Are you skipping red flags and milestones?

The red flags you ignore at the beginning of a relationship could be the reason you end up falling in love too fast and eventually breaking up just as fast. It's essential to talk about things you and your partner don't agree on, and it'll build trust in the relationship, helping both of you understand each other. 

I also can’t help but to say this; skipping red flags is like ignoring a flat tire but hoping to drive to your destination without it causing any problems. Make no mistake; there are essential milestones in relationships, and it feels so much better when everything falls in place naturally. That’s why I will also advise you not to skip through the process of getting to know someone; you'll certainly find surprises in the long run, and you might not like them.   

12. Are You Making Plans? 

Once you catch yourself planning a life together at the beginning of the relationship,  it’s also a sign you will likely fall in love too fast into it and are overthinking things. Just a month in, and you're already making sacrifices as big as switching jobs, moving in with the person, or even planning a wedding.

You should pump the breaks a bit because you really can’t know if a person is right for you after one date or two. This is something that requires time. Clearly, you might just be overwhelmed by the euphoria of finding someone new who is giving you all the attention you crave. So, make sure you're in the right mind to take these steps because there's a high chance things might go south quickly. 

Certainly, the only plans you should be making is for another date. If you do more, you may sacrifice your efforts for nothing, and it takes a whole lot to come back from that. And if you're fond of giving your heart out on a whim like this, you will spend so much effort on people who don't deserve you. If it doesn't lead to depression, it will chip at your self-esteem. 

13. Lying To Yourself 

Falling in love too quickly could equally result in lying to yourself. You may figure out in the long run that you went into things too soon but can't get out of it. As a result, you start lying to yourself - which often starts at the beginning of the relationship when you let yourself move a bit too fast. It's unfair to you and your heart and that's practically self-harming. 

My pro tip? Don't hurt yourself by making rash decisions about love. In the end, feeling stuck is not fun at all. So, don't pretend to be someone you're not or act like something or someone you’re not just to get things going. Love is a process and if you skip a whole round of steps, you're going to pay for it later. Sooner or later, the truth is going to come out, or both of you would realize it was a waste of effort, not love. 

Also, love is based on authenticity, and it's not easy to get back on track once you start a relationship based on lies. 

14. Are You Too Clingy?

When you fall in love with someone too fast, it comes with the fear that something is going to go wrong. Since it's probably a pattern for you at this point, you end up becoming too clingy or needy. Let's face it, only a toxic person wants to be with a clingy person. 

Constant phone calls, always wanting to know what's going on and not being able to function on your own could scare a potential lover away from you. It's even worse when you say the words ”I love you” too fast, then realize the person doesn't feel the same way, or at least not yet. 

At that point, your brain begins to work overtime to ensure he feels it too. But the truth is that you can't control a person's feelings towards you. 

FAQs

Is Falling In Love Quickly A Bad Thing? 

There's not a rule book on how to love; everyone has their unique way and timing when it comes to expressing feelings. Loving too fast doesn't always end on a tragic note as there are some rare occasions where it blossoms. Nevertheless, it's not the most natural path to choose from. 

How Do I Stop Falling In Love Too Fast? 

Focus on making better connections with the people you meet, and it will help take your mind off love. If you're actively searching for an opportunity to love, practically everyone will seem like a candidate to you. So, take your time to enjoy the company, learn about the person, establish a friendship first. 

What Does It Mean When You Fall In Love Too Fast?  

Well, considering the perfect timing for love is relative, it could mean different things for different people. Falling in love too fast doesn't always refer to a period but your readiness for love. You are falling in love too quickly when you don't stop to think about or interpret the signals you are getting from someone. It's like jumping into conclusions. 

How Do You Know You Are Moving Too Fast In A Relationship? 

Every relationship is different, and as I said before, there's no rule book for love. The easiest way to realize you're moving too fast in a relationship is when the things you should have paid attention to start biting you in the butt. You shouldn't wait until then, as soon as you catch yourself sweeping red flags under the rug, you're moving quickly. 

Can A Man Fall In Love Instantly? 

Yes, some people go for it, and it works out fine. A man can actually fall in love with a woman the moment he meets her. It doesn't mean he loves her on the spot, but that he is very open to the idea of loving her and would take steps based on that. 

Share Your Thoughts...

Did you enjoy reading this article? I'm sure you've learned one or two tips to help you love smartly, as well as the importance of building a connection over loving too fast. If you liked this article, I'd like to hear your take on these things. Feel free to share some insight in the comment box below and don't forget to share it with your friends, if it is something you feel might interest them. 

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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