41 Ways To Know You’re In A Fake Relationship (41 Ways To Know)

Last updated on June 17, 2022 by April Maccario

Have you ever been in a relationship that felt too good to be true, yet you somehow knew something was not entirely right?

Yes, all the signs point to you being head over heels in love with the man of your dreams but, there is still one or two things missing in the equation. If you are in luck, it may be that your relationship requires a few adjustments, and all will be well. However, you might discover that you are putting in all the effort while the other party doesn’t do anything to reciprocate them.

It can be stressful, and depressing when one person is doing what two people should be doing; making the relationship work

Without any prejudice or judgement, this article should be able to help you figure out if you’re fake dating or just going through the hurdles relationships are bound to have. 


41 Ways To Know If It’s Fake

1. People don’t know you’re a couple

There are two major things you’ll notice when you’re in a fake relationship, you’ll feel less like a real couple and your partner will ensure everything is lowkey. In other words, not many people will know about you’re a couple or in a relationship with him. He’ll make any excuse just to convince you to keep things a secret. 

Now, I’m not asking him to shout ‘I love you babe’ from the rooftop but, if no one knows the man is dating you, you better run before you get too deep in the fake relationship. 

2. He doesn’t want you to meet with friends and family

It’s usually a big deal meeting with your partner’s family, but when you’re not given the choice of being nervous about meeting the in-laws in the first place, you know your guy doesn’t have long-term plans for you. 

3. He doesn’t like hanging out with your friends or family

Your partner is important to you, so are your family and friends. If you’re willing to spend time with his people, he should return the same courtesy. Unless it is a fake relationship and he doesn’t really love you.

4. He doesn’t invite you to special occasions where his family members will attend

he doesn't invite you to special occasions where his family members will attend

While you’re not expecting him to pull out the big guns and propose to you or something, it is a bad sign if you don’t get to be his date on every special occasion. In fake relationships, the guy will do anything to prevent you from attending special events where his friends, family, and important colleagues will be present.

5. He finds it easy to blame his ex for his life troubles

Nothing is ever his fault because his ex is always responsible for his current problems. If you stay in such a fake relationship, it will soon be your turn to bear the blame

6. You get a negative vibe from his friends

Here’s the thing, if you actually know some of his friends, they won’t want to interfere in the relationship between you two. They probably know if their friend has true feelings for you or not. Even when they try to keep things simple, you’ll notice that they don’t exude the most positive vibe when you’re around.

7. He keeps records of your past mistakes

Love endures and forgives, and while unforgiveness can’t be used as a standard to judge fake relationships, it’s a factor. Now, when someone has feelings for you, they may still bring up your past mistakes. 

It all depends on their personality and values, however, you have to ask yourself why he is bringing the past up. To spite you? Make you angry or chase you away? His intentions will spell out whether you’re in a fake relationship or not. 

8. You just know he is lying about something

If you feel that some things he tells you don’t add up, he’s probably hiding something. He says he loves you, but he always has an excuse not to see you at a certain time or day. He tells you he has feelings for you but his commitment issues won’t let him love you the way you deserve. 

Yes, we’ve heard it all as women in our quest to find this thing called love. My advice is, when the lies get too silly and you’re absolutely sure something is up, it’s time to leave that fake relationship. 

9. He gets upset over trivial issues

He is the proverbial storm in a teacup over issues you can easily resolve with a few words. A real relationship won’t thrive if one partner cannot let go of little things that don’t matter. Even if the issue is crucial; being calm to resolve it is better than storming off every time. 

10. He gives you an ultimatum

Your partner is not your boss, so he shouldn’t give you an ultimatum. You can’t wear this; you can’t eat that, you’re not a doll that he needs to control. Ultimatums are for errant or misguided children, not a full-grown woman who can make good decisions for herself. 

11. His deal-breakers are ridiculous

He has some really ridiculous ideas of what you can or can’t do in the relationship. For example, he says a change in your body weight is a deal-breaker he can’t overlook. If he makes this known at the beginning of your relationship, it’s best to leave early.

12. He never makes the move to apologize after making mistakes

He doesn’t ever apologize for his mistakes because he always has something to say to justify himself. Relationships like this will suck you dry until love won’t be enough anymore. Being the peacemaker all the time, when your partner won’t accept his wrongs, is toxic.

13. You don’t know the password to any of his devices

Everyone has a right to their privacy, and it is perfectly okay to protect your devices with passwords. However, how protective does he act when you even look at his phone? Does he tense up, or pick it up immediately? When someone is intentionally hiding something, they’ll be more guarded around you.

14. He is usually conveniently absent whenever you need to be comforted

You show up for him always, but when it’s his turn to be your rock, he conveniently disappears. You don’t see him for days or even weeks, only to turn up when he is down on his luck. Men who don’t intend to stay for the long haul won’t want to invest feelings into the relationship. 

They could be gone for more than two days without contacting you, just to let things calm down before coming back with a convenient excuse. 

15. You’re the only one he seems to treat nicely

Your partner may choose you as his priority, but you can’t be the only one he cares about. If he is being nice to only you, it reflects the kind of pretentious person he is. You should be careful of him.

16. He is overly affectionate in public but hardly shares quality time with you in private

he is overly affectionate in public but hardly shares quality time with you in private

It almost seems as if he’s living two lives; in public, he’s not afraid to share his feeling for you, but at home, he becomes passive and dismissive. He’s either trying to gain favor or impress someone else.

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17. He has a negative reaction to every situation

Negative energy can drain you and kill your productivity. If you’re in a fake relationship with someone who only has a negative reply or reaction to every issue, you won’t make many positive life accomplishments. 

18. He likes to appear perfect at all times

If you’ve never caught him in vulnerable positions before or you have to appear composed with him all the time, there’s no ring of truth to what you share. Your feelings should be raw, love isn’t always picture perfect.

19. He left someone else to be with you

Most people leave someone to be with another person, and there’s nothing wrong with that, as long as there is a clean break. However, did he leave this other person without letting them know things were over? Then he doesn’t love you, he may be playing at something.

20. He has many female friends

You may joke about how many female friends he has, but he does nothing to reduce his interactions with them, even though he knows you’re unhappy about the situation. There might not be anything to worry about on the surface, but there’s no way he isn’t cheating on you with one of them.

21. He doesn’t care about you

If your partner is not interested in knowing how your business is doing or never asks you what your work situation is like, he doesn’t love you. A man who truly loves you will occasionally want to know about your work and personal life.

22. He’s condescending or patronizing

When people fake a reaction, it may take some time before you notice, especially if you love the person. If you sense that your guy is not sincere with his compliments or he is just complimenting you to make you feel good, your relationship may be fake.

23. He’s egotistic

Both parties in a relationship must have a level of confidence to have a healthy relationship. However, when your man is full of himself to the extent that your feelings don’t matter, he is just plain egoistic. He will continue to hurt you till you say ‘no more.’

24. Double standards

If your partner is the kind of guy who acts one way but doesn’t want you to have the freedom to do the same he has double standards. 

25. Mood swings

While you can’t help having mood swings sometimes, it becomes a problem when it’s a constant thing. What your partner needs is therapy, not a relationship. 

26. He expects too much from you even at the early stage of your relationship

In a real relationship, one of the things that will show that the relationship will last for long is the couple’s patience and steady growth. However, a relationship where the guy is either rushing to sleep with you or even commit may be fake.

27. If a serious issue doesn’t affect him directly, he doesn’t care

All the sexiness and charm in the world cannot cover up the ugliness of a selfish person. Watch out for the little and big signs of a man who cares about his well-being alone rather than yours. He will take actions that serve him and exclude you while at it.

28. He has communication issues

When one partner is emotionally incommunicado or chooses to be physically unavailable in a relationship, there’s no way we can call that relationship real. Communication is the soul of every existing relationship and love story. If your man fails to communicate with you regularly, he is keeping you in a fake relationship. 

29. He doesn’t reveal his whereabouts to you

You’re not supposed to be his tracking device or mobile police officer but, you should have a general idea of where he would be during the day. When he is not at home, your place, or work, where does he go? His business is your business, and vice versa.

30. You have nothing beyond sexual chemistry

you have nothing beyond sexual chemistry

Intimacy is very important and good for all relationships, but there’s more to a real relationship than raw sexual compatibility. Companionship and the ability to solve each other’s issues are other qualities a real relationship should have. If all that’s going fine with your relationship is the sex, you’re going to run into a problem very soon. 

31. There are no special moments worth reminiscing about between the both of you

You have been together for a while now, but there’s no specific moment that stands out to you as a ‘magical memory.’ It is a big problem when you can’t sum up your love life with a few special memories. Someone asks you what makes your relationship stand out, and you go blank, with nothing to say.

32. You are in love yet you feel empty

You love this guy, but there is a part of you that feels so empty of the other things that used to be important to you. For example, you are not as creative or productive as you once were because you’re dating this person.

33. He has a jealous streak a mile wide

Jealousy is a common part of every relationship, but a fake relationship will have a partner with too much of it. If he is jealous of your achievements and tries to stifle your progress because of it, you should run while you can.

34. His actions sometimes appear deliberately cruel

He might act as though what he is doing is in your best interest; you might even play along because you don’t want to see him for who he is. However, deep down, you know that he is deliberately cruel to you through some of his actions.

35. He has a short temper and a shorter fuse

A man who cannot control his anger but flies into rage every time he’s provoked will most likely become physically abusive. A real relationship with genuine love consists of people willing to learn to put their temper under control. It won’t happen in a day, but he must be willing to try.

36. He makes some solo decisions

If your partner makes decisions for you when your consent is very important, that is a form of abuse and a red flag that your relationship is fake. You have a mind of your own; no one should solely control your life. 

37. It is obvious he doesn’t trust you

If he is always checking out your every activity and appears to be obsessed about doing so, your relationship is fake and dangerous. You might have a potential stalker on your hands.

38. He cheats a lot but apologizes

Flowers and gifts don’t fix mistakes; they are meant to express love and appreciation. A real relationship is not one where a man cheats and expects some flowers and expensive gifts will make everything right again. 

39. He is ready to give up on the relationship when there’s a little challenge

At the sign of a little turbulence, he is ready to ditch you and you're the one pleading with him to give the relationship another try. As much as it’s good to be the stronger one sometimes, for how long can you be the only strong one?

40. He makes you dislike yourself sometimes through his words and actions

Someone you’re in love with should uplift you with his words and actions, not put you down or lower your self-respect. If you always have reasons to dislike yourself because of what your partner says or does, your relationship is fake.

41. He doesn’t want to talk about future plans even when you insist on doing so

If your partner is so uninterested in discussing short-term goals that he storms off angry when you insist on having the conversation, you can be sure your relationship is not a real one. He also has no intention of discussing long-term goals with you either. 


What is a pretend relationship?

A pretend relationship is one where there is no sincerity between the couple. One party will lie about who they are or what they want from the other person. In a pretend relationship, only one person is serious about making the relationship work.

What does a fake boyfriend mean?

A fake boyfriend is a pretender who knows he has no intention of getting serious with his girlfriend. He is ready to move on to the next girl once he gets tired of his current game.

What are the 4 types of relationships?

There are different classes of relationships, including romantic relationships, friendships, acquaintanceships, and family relationships. 

What's a fake girlfriend?

A fake girlfriend will lead a guy on, making him think he is important to her, but she will dump him after getting what she needs from him. 

Why would a girl pretend to have a boyfriend?

A girl may pretend to have a boyfriend to show off to her friends or avoid ridicule from her girlfriends who are all in a relationship. A girl with self-esteem issues may also want to prove she is doing well by creating a fake relationship. 

In Conclusion 

No woman will go for a fake relationship if she can have the real thing. It can be embarrassing to admit you’ve been with the wrong person, but instead of lamenting, it’s better to change your course and be open to finding the right man. Did you enjoy reading through this list? Drop your comment and share this article if these tips helped you.

Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes?
We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship.

It almost makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or whether he's just stringing you along.

Why don't you take this quick free quiz to see if he actually likes you!

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

One comment on “41 Ways To Know You’re In A Fake Relationship (41 Ways To Know)”

  1. I would like to learn more about relationship where adult children are involved. Is my boyfriend's daughter munipulating our relationship. Advice

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