Does A Rebound Relationship Last? (7 Things to Know)

by April Maccario

Did you just get out of a relationship? Are you already on the prowl for someone new? 

One of the best things you can do after suffering from a hurtful breakup is to give yourself time to heal properly. However, too often, we look forward to getting emotionally numb with a new person. 

So, does a rebound relationship last? 

Unfortunately, the answer is not usually. What typically happens is a short-term relationship, which is usually temporary because the person on the rebound hasn’t had enough time to deal with their feelings. 

Beginning a new relationship when the old one is still fresh can quickly lead to pain, hurt, and further heartbreak. Basically, you will have to face your old relationship and the loss you suffered from it one way or another. It’s typically better to peel the bandaid off and face what’s in front of you head-on rather than trying to mask the pain by moving on too quickly.

In this article, we will look at what a rebound relationship is all about, including ways that may help you heal better after a breakup - what you may want to do instead of being in a new relationship. 

The Truth About Rebound Relationships

Rebound relationships are usually found when a person in a relationship has just jumped in directly after breaking up with an ex or vice versa. Being on the rebound means you are looking for a new person after just getting out of a recent relationship. 

Rebound relationships don’t have the best track record because the person on the rebound hasn’t had enough time to best learn how to cope with the uncomfortable feelings and emotions that they were left with after their last relationship.

What to Do If You are In A Rebound Relationship

If your current relationship is a rebound one, make sure you are smart about it. Better Health suggests that rebound relationships just don’t last very long. At best, they could last a year, but do you really want to be in a rebound relationship? It’s not a very healthy thing to do. Relationships like this usually don’t end well for the person on the rebound or his mate.

Also, keep in mind that this type of relationship probably won’t be long-term, and, in the meantime, you are just wasting his time and yours, or vice versa, if you are the rebound. Instead of trying to find comfort in the arms of a rebound relationship, you should be preparing yourself for future relationships that are healthy and can last a long time. 

If you want to be in rebound relationships, you should be completely honest with the individual you are dating. Don’t play games with their heart, and explain to them that you were recently seeing someone else, but you would like to see where things go in this current relationship. Communicate what’s going on, so they will understand what you are thinking and going through.

What Can You Do Instead of a Rebound Relationship?

Learn some healthy coping skills so that your next relationship can be honest and open. Seeing a counselor or therapist may help you learn healthy skills to adopt. The best thing you can do is to wait until you are truly ready to move on with a new individual. Talk to your support group or even an online counselor. That way, you can freely vent your feelings in a healthy way. 

Getting Back with Your Ex

Hopefully, you aren’t going for a rebound relationship. If you think you were meant to be with your ex, you may want to confess your feelings, explaining a bit about what you’re going through. You never know; they may be going through the same thing and have the desire to get back with you, as well. 

The Best Actions to Take After a Breakup

1. Wait until you are healed before moving on

wait until you are healed before moving on

It’s smart to give yourself plenty of time to get over the pain you feel before moving on to a new relationship. Getting mixed up in a rebound relationship can just make things worse. It will take you that much longer to get over someone you lost, and you will just be wasting your time and the time of the person you are with. No one wants that! 

In other words, you won’t accomplish much with a new relationship because the original pain you feel from the breakup will still be there and may get worse because you have complicated matters by hooking up with a different individual. You can avoid all this additional hurt by giving yourself time to work through the pain and hurt you are feeling. 

2. Face the hurt, loneliness, and pain

This is probably one of the toughest things a person has to do - face the facts of what happened. You may be feeling lonely and want to be with someone different to help you forget about the old, but it’s not likely to be true that “the fastest way to get over someone is to get under someone new!” Give yourself the time you need to feel better.

3. Accept your new circumstances

Often, acceptance is the hardest part of going through a breakup. You want to call him, see where he is, who he’s with, and why the two of you had to end things when you felt like things were going so well. That’s just one scenario you may be going through, but whatever’s going on with your circumstances, it’s smart to just feel the painful emotions.

4. Realize you have suffered a loss

You are going to feel the stages of grief; it’s really inevitable after suffering a loss like a breakup. I know once when I was really down, a friend of mine said that I was going through a loss - just like a death, and I need to treat my circumstances as such. Don’t be afraid to treat your previous relationship as a loss you are suffering from. It is!

5. Make yourself a better person

This has always been, to me, the best part of a breakup; it gives me a chance to work on myself and figure out what happened in my previous relationship that led to the breakup. I like to know what went wrong, so I don’t repeat my mistakes with someone else. We don’t always get the answers we are looking for, though. 

Either way, you probably have some idea of the things you can do to make yourself a better person. Hit the spa, look toward the future, learn a new language, or do something else to improve yourself and make yourself feel better. It’s okay to indulge in ice cream a little to deal with the pain you are going through after that last breakup. You can do this!

6. Seek treatment for any depression you feel

If you find yourself spiraling into a state of depression because your long-term relationship didn’t work out, you aren’t alone. However, you shouldn’t allow yourself to get too down about it. If you find that you are getting depressed, it might be a good idea to talk to someone other than your support group, like a therapist or psychiatrist. 

Always try to stay safe and keep yourself good and healthy for your next relationship. 

7. Don’t look to a new person to fill a void

It’s easy to find yourself with a new person as you try to escape the feelings of pain and suffering. You may be trying to numb yourself because of the hurt you’re feeling. A rebound relationship really isn’t the best answer. Focus your attention on the present and try to think about a new relationship in the future, not right now. 

Signs You May Be in a Rebound Relationship

1. They complain about their ex a lot

Most people who aren’t over their exes tend to talk about them a lot. They may complain or have negative things to say about them because they want to justify the breakup. They think that by badmouthing their ex, they are dealing with their hurt or any feelings of betrayal when really they are not.

They are hurting and depending on you to help them cope with the feelings they don’t understand or don’t want to deal with. If you notice your new flame is caught up in his ex, you may want to keep your distance and give him a chance to face the pain.

2. They don’t open up easily

You may be trying to get your new relationship on the right track by getting your boyfriend or girlfriend to open up about their past. If he or she is going through a recent breakup, they may just decide that opening up will just lead to more hurt. This isn’t a good sign, meaning they haven’t dealt with their pain in the right way.

3. They are emotionally distant

they are emotionally distant

You want to say, “I love you.” You want him to say the same, but you realize that he’s closed off and won’t open up with you. He may very well not be over his ex. 

4. Things are moving too fast

Usually, if someone is hoping to fill the void of their last relationship by starting a new relationship, they will take you through a whirlwind romance! Take caution if you find out he recently had a long-term relationship, because this may mean he’s trying to move things along so he can start to “feel” what he believes he needs to get over his ex.

For example, he may rush to say those three little words when he doesn’t even mean it. He just is hoping to quickly get what he had with his last relationship. 

5. The relationship is full of passion

It’s very hot; I know. I’ve been there! It’s hard not to get caught up in it all. He seems like Mr. Perfect, but in reality, he’s just looking for someone else to make him feel better about his recent breakup. Make sure you aren’t with someone who isn’t ready for another shot at true love.

6. They may exhibit signs of depression

Have you seen your new boyfriend showing signs of depression? If you suspect you are a rebound for a guy, you should give him space to deal with whatever he’s going through. That way, your new relationship can be built on a healthy foundation. 

7. They do not show consistent behavior

One of the strongest signs of a rebound relationship is a person who goes from hot to cold in a matter of minutes. Is he moody, touchy, or just plain grumpy for no apparent reason? Be careful with someone like that. He may seem like a catch right now and make you feel that he is perfect, but if he acts like that, it’s not really healthy!

FAQs

How long do rebound relationships last on average?

According to Better Health, usually, a rebound relationship only lasts from a few months to a year. In the rebound relationship that I was in, it seemed like we had a strong connection, but I soon realized he wasn’t over his ex, and our relationship ended after only one month!

What happens when a rebound relationship ends?

Unfortunately, since you did not take the time to heal properly the first go-’round, you’ll have to face that hurt and heartbreak that you avoided. For some people, continuously jumping into rebound relationships is the norm, and they never heal in a healthy way.

How do you know if it’s a rebound relationship?

In my previous relationship, the clues were there; I just didn’t face them. My ex complained about his ex all the time and acted emotionally distant like he needed to fill a void in his life with me, who he barely knew. Also, rebound relationships tend to move too fast!

Why do rebound relationships fail?

The main reason that rebound relationships fail is that the person hasn’t had the time to heal and cope with their feelings of loss and hurt. Instead, they jump into a relationship with a new individual, hoping they will numb them from what they are going through - pain.

Do exes come back after a rebound?

You shouldn’t expect this. Your ex may have feelings of pain and loneliness going on and think that the single life is too hard, that the grass is greener on the other side, and that you can fill the void he’s feeling, but you should give him time to heal.

To Sum Things Up…

Are you or your ex going through a rebound relationship right now? If you have some great pointers on this topic or simply enjoyed this article, please share it in the comments section. I would love to hear from you! Don’t forget to share this post, too!

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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