Did He Ever Love Me? (33 Ways To Find Out)

Last updated on July 4, 2022 by April Maccario

Do you have doubts that your previous partner loved you, or wonder if your current partner does? 

Whatever the case may be, there are viable signs to detect whether someone truly loves you or not. Little actions go a long way to reveal the real emotions a person feels towards you. When they don't care about you the same way you do, you should acknowledge it and move on.

This article contains up to thirty-three ways to determine how someone feels about you, with essential questions to reflect on. If you really want to know whether a relationship is worth your time, effort, or thoughts, then continue reading.


33 Ways to Know If He Ever Loved You

1. Does he remember dates? 

Some people are naturally retentive when it comes to dates, but if he ever cared about you, he’d go the extra mile to remember every occasion, even though it demands writing it down. If you perceive a carefree attitude from your partner towards events, it shows he's not immersed in the relationship as much as you are. Therefore, he doesn't care about you that much.

2. Is he paying attention to the small details? 

When a man cares about someone, his attention will be on his subject of attraction. He wants to know a specific topic and the insignificant details like how fantastic or terrible her day at work went. If he doesn't care about you, he wouldn't bother about the little details of your life and wouldn't give you his undivided attention.

3. Does he belittle you in the presence of others? 

Respecting each other is a big part of forming a healthy relationship. Someone who cares about you wouldn't want to see you in a bad situation. They'll do everything to protect your reputation and refrain from hurting their feelings. On the other hand, if they deliberately belittle you in the presence of others, either by scolding you or putting you down, doesn't care about it’s a no-no. If they do all this, knowing it'll hurt you, it's a sign they don't have your best interest at heart.

4. Is he willing to make the relationship better? 

Most men find it hard to give up on the person they genuinely care about. In fact, it's hard to give up on each other when both parties are willing to make it work. They know finding love is hard, so they hold on tight to what they have by resolving issues, no matter how small. If he isn't making an effort to make situations better, he does not truly love you.

5. Is he fighting dirty? 

Fighting in a relationship can be a healthy process, as long as the two parties maturely settle the dispute and grow from it. On the other hand, when couples fight dirty, it can be a negative sign. If he's getting back at you where he knows it hurts the most, it shows that he has no love for you. Breaking you should never be on his to-do list, no matter how angry he is.

6. Is he starting unnecessary fights? 

Usually, when someone starts causing irrelevant arguments, it's as a result of broken love or broken trust. They are tired of the relationship and looking for an avenue to end it. They might also be using the fights to take out their frustration on you. If your partner engages in this act, it's because he doesn't care about you.

7. Is he insensitive to you? 

Does he compare you to other ladies? Tell you to hit the gym because you're fat? Or maybe even say you're not pretty anymore? All these subjects are clearly too insensitive to raise with a woman you care about. If your partner makes such statements, he just doesn't cherish you. You shouldn't feel pressured to change because he finds it hard to love unconditionally.

8. Is he deliberately doing things you don't like? 

is he deliberately doing things you dont like

If he's nonchalant about the issues he knows you detest, it's a sign that he doesn't value the relationship anymore. Leaving the toilet seat up or forgetting to put the dish in the sink are all pet peeves that partners avoid to appease their better halves. On the contrary, intentionally doing things like these can show a lack of love.

9. Is he selfish in bed? 

A man that really loves you will be more interested in pleasuring you than receiving pleasure. If he makes sexual intercourse more about him than intimacy itself, it suggests that he doesn't care about you as much as you think. Love revolves around sacrifice. The more a person is willing to give, the more a person loves deeply. 

10. Is he trying to change you? 

Any man that tries to change his partner to suit his wants is struggling to still love. It does not mean there isn’t a thing or two to change, but nitpicking is annoying. Love has to be unconditional, embracing both flaws and strengths. Since no one is perfect, the best any partner can do is to work and grow together. If this isn't the case, it would be a loveless relationship.

11. Does he pick other people over you? 

Quality time is one of the most important aspects of any loving relationship. This process helps the two parties build an intimate bond, which translates to love. Anyone that cares about you would cherish spending time with you. If he's picking other individuals over you, it shows he doesn't value you or the relationship. If either of you is reluctant to pick each other, then there is something fishy in the air.

12. Is he only talking about the future and not the present? 

It's easy to look towards the future and make plans for life, but when a man doesn't have the gift, it's a sign that he's not willing to make the relationship grow. Such occurrences indicate that he's fallen out of love and may simply want the association to fall apart.

13. Is he easily irritated? 

A man that loves you won't be easily provoked by the little things you do. Your words or action shouldn't make him feel irritated, so if they do, it's a bad sign. If he complains that you piss him off at any small step, it calls for suspicion. His story suggests that he's tired of you and clearly doesn't care about you.

14. Does he have a routine with you? 

Habits in relationships are an easy way to show that you're happy to do stuff or hang out, with them. When there's an absence of routines, it's a bad sign even to the smallest bit. If he often calls at one point and then deserts you the next instance, his love for you clearly isn't healthy.

15. Can he apologize? 

Any man that can't apologize for his wrong deeds, even when he knows he could one day lose his beloved to someone else, doesn't have real feelings for her. Apologizing is crucial for the sustenance of any relationship. It shows that a person acknowledges their wrong deeds but is willing to make the situation better. If he's not apologizing, it's a sign that he doesn't value the relationship anymore.

16. Has he introduced you to his parents?

has he introduced you to his parents

A guy that cares about you would want the whole world to know about your existence. He'll make sure he introduces you to the most critical individuals in his life. If he's giving excuses for not showing you to his parents, or anyone important to him, it calls for suspicion. Such a man doesn't have real feelings for you.

17. Is he affectionate? 

In the game of love and relationships, the little things matter. Small signs of affection go a long way in reminding your partner that you care about them. When there's no affection whatsoever, it becomes a problem. If your man can't hug, hold your hands, or even kiss your cheeks, whether in private or public, you can question his love for you.

18. Does he ever voice out the uncertainty of his feelings? 

The truth is that everyone knows exactly how they feel towards people. If you've asked your partner whether he loves you or not, and he stated that he isn't particularly sure, it's a subtle way of saying he doesn't. A man that cares about you wouldn't give you room to doubt the love he has for you. He would want to reaffirm his affection to ensure you don't leave him for someone else.

19. Do you feel like a friend and not a lover? 

One of the signs that love might be missing in a relationship is when it's more of a friendship than a relationship. He comes to you for advice but won't hold your hands in public. He enjoys doing his favorite thing with you but avoids intimacy except when he really wants it. If the relationship lacks depth, it could mean his love isn't as deep as you think.

20. Is he making plans with you? 

Planning is an essential aspect of every relationship. It shows that you want your partner in your future, and ultimately, in your life. Plans should always be made, no matter how little. When there's no sense of planning, whether intentionally or unintentionally, it shows love is missing in the relationship. More importantly, it means your partner does not see you in his future.

21. Are conversations with him awkward? 

An important aspect of relationships is having fluent conversations with your partner. Awkward conversations should happen sporadically and not frequently. If you can't hold a steady conversation with your partner, it means there's a problem somewhere because communication is key to any association's success.

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22. Can he compromise when it comes to plans? 

If you and your partner are making plans, is he willing to compromise when it doesn't favor him? Is he willing to negotiate a more comfortable plan, or does he insist on doing things his way? A man who fails to compromise on matters is struggling to love entirely – because compromise is a sign of love.

23. Can you see the love in his eyes? 

According to widespread knowledge, the eyes are regarded as the window to the soul. You can intimately read a person's emotions towards you from how they look at you. If your intuition tells you that his actions don't indicate love, there's a high chance love isn’t involved. Indeed, when someone loves you, you'll be able to detect it.

24. Is he still considering other options? 

is he still considering other options

A man that doesn't care about you will find it hard to commit. He may even give the excuse that he wants to view all his options before making a final decision with you. If he has other options, it's already a bad sign. You should move on and find someone who will treat you like a priority. You shouldn't be someone's second or third option.

25. Does he cheat on you? 

A person that cares about you will constantly be afraid of losing you. They will avoid mistakes that could cause the relationship to end. Let’s say the mistakes eventually happen; they will correct them, apologize, and grow from them. This process is why cheating kills the claims of love in a relationship. It indirectly says that a person isn't afraid of the relationship failing, or in other words, he doesn't care about his partner that much.

26. Does he tell you that he doesn't trust you? 

Trust is an essential aspect of love. You will find it hard to love someone you don't completely trust. When a man starts accusing you of things while displaying his lack of trust for you, it's a clear sign he doesn't care about you. He will intentionally play the blame game to throw you off the fact that he doesn't care about you.

27. Does he ever talk badly about your family and friends? 

If someone belittles or disrespects the most essential people in your life, it's a reflection of how they see you. They will eventually treat you the same way. Your family and friends are a part of your life, and if your partner disregards them, it suggests he doesn't have any love for you.

28. Is he interested in discussing the important stuff? 

Any man that conveniently postpones crucial conversations to avoid talking about it has no value for the association. He is not fully committed to the relationship and sees no reason why he should make an effort to discuss those subjects. He would rather live in the moment and see how everything goes from there. This act is clearly a bad sign.

29. Does he make fun of your hobbies? 

It doesn't matter how silly your hobbies are; when someone loves you, they'll embrace every aspect of you. If they persistently mock everything you care about, they clearly don't love you. A bad joke can be a one-off thing, but one too many times shows the absence of affection towards you.

30. Do meaningful conversations turn into fights? 

When a man doesn't have feelings for you, he blames most of the relationship issues on you. If a sensitive or essential aspect of the relationship is discussed, it always ends up in an argument. The truth is, any man that only wants to fight without settling the problem does not care about you.

31. Does he openly show a lack of commitment? 

When a guy lacks commitment, it will be easy to perceive. He hangs around other ladies every time and would rather not be seen with you in public. He feels uneasy when you make investments towards the relationship. He's also emotionally unavailable and doesn't want to open up. All these signs quickly show he's doesn't care about you.

32. Is he putting in enough effort? 

is he putting in enough effort

It's always clear when one party is doing more for the relationship than the other. When this happens, it's inevitable the love isn't balanced. If your man isn't making an effort to see things move forward, it's clear he isn't immersed in the relationship and doesn't care about you as much as you do. All relationships need work, and the two parties need to be willing to work.

33. Is he your support system? 

If you want to know whether a man cares, check how much he supports his woman. Support here can either be emotional or physical. If he cheers you up when you're feeling down and takes care of you when you're sick, it shows he has your back. However, a person that deserts you when you need them the most just doesn’t care about you.


Does he really love me or using me?

You’ll know that a man loves you or is using you from the level of sacrifices he makes to see you happy. If he gives more than he expects to receive, he's expressing his love for you. On the contrary, if he's more concerned about his well-being and affairs, he may only be using you without actively involving you.

How do you know when a man doesn't love you?

When a man doesn't care about you, it'll be hard for him to commit to the littlest parts of your life. He won't listen to the smallest details in conversations or spend time with you without feeling tired. He'll struggle to remember dates, compromise, and might even start to feel irritated by the little actions you take.

How did you know if the person love you?

When someone loves you, they'll make space for you in their life. You'll become a priority to them, and they'll ensure they can make you happy. They'll give without expecting in return, and most of their actions will fully express their love for you.

How can you tell if a man still loves you?

When someone still loves you, it'll be hard for them to give up on you or let you go. They'll try to make everything work, compromise, and make sacrifices for your happiness. They'll also make you an essential part of their lives so, you will feel like a priority.

How does a man act when he's falling in love?

When a man is falling in love, it'll be written all over his face and it’ll shine through his actions. You'll be able to see the love in his eyes and feel it in every gaze he makes at you. He'll also be eager to prove his love to you by being there when you need him.

In Conclusion

Did you enjoy this highly informative article? If someone shows you signs that they just don't love you as much as you do, it's essential to know when to give up and move on. Kindly leave a comment below on your take and experiences in this area. Also, share this article if you liked it.

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April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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