Dating Your Opposite (13 Top Tips)

by April Maccario

When I think about dating your opposite, I’m reminded of the show, The Amazing Race. The race around the world starts with 12 teams of 2 who have an existing relationship with one another. 

Now, you’d think the couple would have a strong connection before the show begins, but instead, it almost seems like they pick pairs who have an opposite relationship. 

I try to guess who will win the race when it begins, but I don’t know what the relationships are like until the show plays a few episodes. 

I’ve noticed the couples who are opposites don’t enjoy the race nearly as much as the ones who get along great. Of course, the stress of the situation isn’t quite the same as you might find in a normal dating relationship

Plus, my observations from a reality television show do not indicate that total opposites cannot have a successful relationship with one another. I guess it’s just a guilty pleasure of mine, but I do know from first-hand experience that opposites can attract. My man is the complete opposite of me, yet we work very well together. We are happy together.

How You Can Benefit from Dating Someone Different

There are tons of ways you can benefit from being with someone who is the opposite of you. They can help you grow in new and exciting ways, teaching you about stuff you would never have discovered on your own. Your horizons will be expanded by learning new hobbies, like music or movies. Who wouldn’t enjoy having their eyes opened up like that?

You may also gain better conflict resolution skills by learning to compromise better and by becoming more empathetic. Finally, you will never have a dull moment with all the passion and excitement that your partner offers you. Instead, they will keep you on your toes, because each new day is like a new adventure, teaching you something you didn’t know before.

What Are The Drawbacks Of Dating Someone Different?

There are disadvantages of being in these relationships, as well. You may love rap music but get stuck listening to country way too often because that’s what your partner prefers. It’s good to give some of ourselves in a relationship; it shows you care about the well-being of your partner. Unfortunately, you may go bat crazy after 30 years of listening to music you hate. 

The same holds true for a vegan dating a hunter. They probably have completely different lifestyle views and opinions on important matters. These types of differences can prove to be problematic, but if love, hope, and ability to compromise are there, relationships can survive differences. It may just take a little more work than you anticipated when you fell in love.

Top Tips When Dating an Opposite Partner

1. Learn something new

Allow your partner to guide you, to teach you all about their world. Be receptive during this lesson; try to give more than you take away. If both of you adopt this attitude, your relationship has a strong chance of success to last a long time. 

2. Complement your partner

Offer him something that you have that he doesn’t. Hopefully, you will find he does the same for you. For example, make him a better person by showing him how to tell directions without a compass or map. You can successfully complement one another, and both grow as individuals as a result.

3. Appreciate the variety

Realize things won’t always go your way. Instead, learn how to embrace the things that this person shows you. Find their strengths and weaknesses, and learn how to bring out the best in one another. If you have to listen to awful music, just know that he’s making trade-offs just like you are. 

4. Balance each other out

When you see that he is being hot-headed, make sure you take the time to try to cool him off rather than losing your cool as well. Work with one another to make the most of your differences. When you lose your head over something trivial, trust that he will calm you down, successfully. 

5. Teach your partner something new

Your new partner may not understand why you love knitting so much. Make sure he understands the reasons behind your favorite things. This will give him a good sense of who you are and maybe how he could surprise you in the future. 

In this example, you might love to take up crocheting, so an introductory book would be a nice gift he could buy for you.

6. Show interest in your partner’s hobbies

Show interest in your partner's hobbies

So, hunting doesn’t get you out of bed in the morning. In fact, it’s one of those things you find to be disturbing. What do you do? 

Well, you can either have this as a difference between the two of you, or you can fake interest in the sport until you actually get interested in it somehow. For example, the cooking of meat may be a new hobby for you.

7. Find common ground

To get your relationship off to the right start, you must find a way to connect. What do the two of you love doing together (besides the obvious)? If you have not had a chance to get to know one another well enough, try taking a questionnaire that has deep questions. This is one of the best ways for you to find common ground in your life together.

8. Set healthy boundaries in the relationship

Learn when the two of you need to have time apart, and when you should be together. Know each other’s safe spaces. Check out the book “Boundaries” by Henry Cloud for more information on this subject. It’s a real eye-opener.

9. Make plans together

Since you both probably enjoy doing different hobbies, you aren’t likely to run into each other outside of your plans. If you want to nurture your love, you’ll need to make plans together. Enjoy each other’s company and schedule dates to do things you’ll both like doing.

10. Keep the spark alive

You may find a lot of frustration, being with someone who is so different from you. To keep the candle of your love lit, remember all of the reasons that you two fell in love. Think about the characteristics you fell for originally, and keep those memories alive when you feel disappointed in the way your relationship is proceeding.

11. Be constructive in your disputes

Get constructive with your criticism; don’t just complain to hear yourself talk. Instead, offer helpful advice on what exactly you would like your partner to do differently. Remember, your partner isn’t a mind reader. You must voice your thoughts and opinions if you expect a change to occur.

12. Learn to compromise

Compromise may mean sitting through the latest horror movie when you really want to watch a rom-com and not have nightmares for months! Sometimes, we have to give to get. If you want him to sit through your cooking class so you can enjoy something together, you’ll have to make sacrifices as well.

13. Experience new things together

Experience new things together

As you grow in life, you are bound to find new hobbies and interests. Often, experiencing things with each other can help you grow closer together. Try something that neither of you has ever done before. Go skydiving or join the Amazing Race! You’ll definitely learn more about each other than you ever thought would be possible!

FAQs

Is it better to date someone opposite of you?

It’s really not necessarily better either way. If you find someone who loves to argue over very issue, while you prefer to be agreeable, you may find the relationship to be exhausting. A couple like that may not be in the best situation; it may be too hard to fix.

Are opposites good in relationships?

They can be. However, it can also be challenging to have someone in your life who has a different point of view on how you should be spending your time together. You may want to hit the slopes during your vacation time, while he wants to hit the tropics.

Can soulmates be opposites?

Yes! I think life can bring you the right person who may or may not be your opposite. The more time you spend with your soulmate, the greater chance you have of growing together. You don’t have to grow apart just because you are different. Differences can make you strong.

Can opposites attract stay together?

Yes! My man and I have been happily together for more than 7 years now. He is a complete hunter and outdoorsman, while I am more of a city girl who doesn’t like getting dirty. We bring out the best in each other and have grown a lot together.

Do opposites actually attract?

Often you want to start dating someone who you find to be different than you. They can bring out features about yourself that you didn’t even know you had, and vice versa. In fact, if you work at it, you may find wonderful new things with your opposite.

To Sum Things Up…

Are you dating your opposite? What does the polar opposite mean to you? Do you believe you can find a successful relationship with someone who is unlike you? What have the experiences of your love life been like?

Please share this post and comment below. I’d love to hear from you!

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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