Dating while living with parents can be challenging, especially if you’re in high school. Your living situation does not permit a great dating experience; a lot of things like curfew and lack of privacy will get in the way. More so, living under your parent's roof whilst in a relationship means you answer to them most times, if not all. They police your entire dating life.
That said; if you're living with your parents as an adult, it might not be so tough on you because your parents assume you're old enough to think for yourself. However, there are still bumps on this road for you. You might have to take a lot of ”permission,” and that removes ”spontaneous” from the whole thing.
Imagine you can't get out of the house to be with someone you like because you've been grounded, that's a bummer. One thing is for sure; when you live at home, you can't get up and do whatever you like if you’re staying with any of your parents. This means your relationship would revolve around how much space they give you to enjoy it.
If you’re contemplating living at home while dating someone, below are a few challenges you'll likely face both in your relationship and at home.
Curfews are common for people living at home with parents. The time you get back home is a big thing when you live in your parent's house, even though you're an adult. They still worry about you and treat you like you’re still in high school, which means you always have to tell them when you’re running late home.
The truth is, when you're on a perfect date, it's hard to keep track of time. Chances are, you'd want to squeeze the best out of every moment you spend with that one guy you’re seeing who makes your heart race in the right way. So, having to cut part of that good time to make it home is not fun.
What’s even worse is that you can't also call and say you're going to be home late without any concrete reason. It also means that you can't leave home late without your mom bombarding you with questions.
Certainly, relationships are built on quality time together, and if you're not in charge of your time, it's a threat to its growth. Either mom or dad could rain on your parade by grounding you before that date, and there's nothing you can do about it because you live at their place, so you must simply do as they say.
For people who live at home with parents, inviting a lover over can be a little intimidating - no matter how liberal your parents are. At most, you would either be on your best behavior or secretly going about your affair. Even the act of having sex knowing that your mom and dad are in the next room is just awkward.
In fact, as a teenager, bringing a boy home was probably less awkward, as your mom simply restricted your activities to video games and reading. You were younger those days and sex was likely didn’t even cross your mind. However, as an adult, knowing that mom might just show up any minute to check on you both can be nerve-wracking.
Certainly, if you live at home as an adult, your parents might give you a little privacy, however, the problem is more about how comfortable your partner feels about the situation. You're probably already going through a difficult time, and staying with your parents is temporary until you get back on your feet; so, you don't want to mess with your situation by dating around and bringing them over always. It would look like your priorities are misplaced, especially if it's nothing stable.
Living with parents means sacrificing privacy as an adult. They are going to look into everything you do, and you can't keep them out of your room forever. Even though they have generously offered you a place to rest, it's still their home, and sooner or later, either of them will get in your room.
Remember, it’s their home, and you are their child. Trust me, your mom and dad will never stop parenting you, no matter how old you get. So, be prepared for their opinions on your life, whether you like it or not.
More so, lack of privacy means you can’t hide your dating and love life from them; most especially from your mom, who’ll likely have a sixth sense as most mothers do. And even if you do attempt to hide, your parents can quickly come between your plans.
So, my advice is that as an adult, it’s probably best you tell your parents you're dating, so they can respect your privacy and give you time to yourself, but you brace yourself for the follow-up questions, the invites to dinner that would hit you afterward.
People who date while living at home with their mom and dad, are often forced to introduce their partner’s too early. Imagine how that would look on you and how much dating advice you would be drawing to yourself from your mom. They would want to know the guy who dropped you off last night, the one who sent you flowers or the one who came to pick you up.
There would hardly be any breathing space; sooner or later, you have to introduce him to your parents. From there, they start inviting you both to dinners and other family events. Before you know it, it could become more than what it is.
You will then run into problems if your folks like this person more than you do. Whether or not the relationship is for you, you could be forced to keep it a while longer. Whatever happens next becomes everyone’s problem more than yours. It’s a frustrating situation to be in trust me; no adult wants their mom and dad to make decisions for them.
Living at your parents’ house when you're dating could eat into how much time you spend with each other. It would probably not be as much as you want because you have to be home at a certain time. More so, this means you can't invite your boyfriend over, and there's only a limited number of nights you can sleepover.
It could be tough on both of you, especially at the early stage of the situation, where it feels like you can't do without each other. More so, there's hardly any room to be spontaneous about anything; you have to both make plans that would probably get canceled because your folks had other plans for you.
Certainly, it gets hard to keep up with each other at some point, and it may not work out eventually between you both. It's essential to spend tangible time alone with a partner to get to know them better; you'd hardly have the comfort zone to do so if you live with your parents.
Living with your folks could be a huge deal breaker if you are an adult. It's not a dating scene most people are comfortable with. However, some people do not mind being at home with their folks at all; it just depends on how much your partner is willing to deal with.
Getting a girlfriend in this day and age is pretty easy. In the past, you had only to get out to do so, but now you have the Internet and a lot of social media platforms. The problem isn't really how to get the girlfriend, it's how to maintain the relationship. All the challenges listed can make it tough.
Living at home with your parents as a married couple is not advisable. Married couples must spend quality time with themselves to build a good bond between them. A couple staying with parents means they can not decide anything about the apartment as a duo and would always have their parents as the third party on everything, which could be uncomfortable.
Frustrated that he doesn't pay you as much attention as he used to?
This is one of the most common issues our female readers face.
The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him today.
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A lot of people consider this to be abnormal and are quick to assume you are broke or at a struggling point in your life. If you do have a good job, enough to afford a house of your own, it's questionable. Unless either of your parents needs you by them due to health conditions or for other important reasons. it'll seem a bit weird that you don't want your place.
This might be a challenging task. You're in their house, you have to be extra careful to hide this from them. Don't leave your phone unattended to, your boyfriend might call you. Keeping late nights might also make your parents suspect you are up to no good. Your girlfriend can't come visiting you either, that's too risky.
No doubt, dating someone while you are staying with your parents is tough. However, the challenges of living at home with your parents listed above will brace you for the process should you decide to do it.
I hope you enjoyed this article and feel free to write your thoughts in the comment box below, and please don't forget to share the article with friends.
Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes?
We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship.
The thing is that which causes men to behave this way is actually something how men are wired. Once you understand how this works, it's relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him today.
My friend uploaded a quick video which you can watch here (click on the link to watch) where he explains how you can turn this behavior around!