I must admit this topic really strikes home for me. While I’m not an “only child” completely, I was one for the better part of my childhood until my mother remarried and I had stepsiblings. It wasn’t easy growing up, unsure of how to get along with other children. My stepsiblings already had a tight bond when I met them, so I didn’t really learn how to share.
I think only children are given the stigma of being spoiled and selfish when really they just never had a chance to develop in the way that they should. Instead of being taught how to share, they were left to fend for themselves, play alone, and grow up too fast because most only children are around adults the majority of the time.
So, what does this mean if you are dating an only child?
It actually gives you many key insights into the mind of an only child. In this article, we’ll take a hard look at some of the personality traits, needs, wants, desires, and developmentals, you may witness if you date someone who is an only child.
If you are dating someone who is an only child, you may find that they can do things for themselves. This is because, most likely, their family wasn’t always around, and they had to learn how to fend for things alone. They didn’t have siblings who they could turn to for advice. Just give us space in a relationship, and we’ll come around!
It’s true that I love talking, especially when the subject is me! However, no one enjoys a one-sided conversation, so many self-centered people have adapted and learned how to ask insightful questions to get to know the other person and to not seem selfish. Talking about oneself just comes naturally to only children, so listen up and show interest.
Only children tend to know how to nurture the ones they are in relationships with. This is because of the independence they learned during their childhood; they know how to fix problems on their own and will make sure you are well taken care of. Let your partner play “nurse” when you are sick; it makes them feel wanted and needed.
Hey, being an only child isn’t the easiest thing in the world. We often had to live our lives alone, so we made things up. I remember playing “pretend” all the time, using my imagination to act as if I had siblings or other friends around.
Those who were alone growing up probably have active imaginations still today. Just give them room to be as creative as they want, and you’ll get along with them just fine.
This is a pretty obvious one; those who are used to living independent lives enjoy having time to themselves to recharge their batteries and to check in with themselves. Give them the space they need if you want to continue to have a healthy relationship.
When we are in the mood to spend time with others, we like to focus on that person completely. We enjoy narrowing our attention to a single person rather than a group. Spending quality time with another person gives us a chance to ask great questions and to get to know them better without any distractions.
Arguing isn’t a useful activity for us; we didn’t grow up with a large family, so we aren’t used to having a lot of bickering. We didn’t have brothers and sisters to fight with, so try to limit the arguments to only the important stuff.
When we get into something, we really get into it! For example, if we take up a new hobby, chances are we are going to talk about that hobby non-stop. Give us a chance to talk about our obsessions, and you’ll have no trouble coming up with great conversation topics.
When a topic we care about comes up, you can bet it will grab our attention. Ask for our advice to win us over in no time!
While we probably have adapted to being around others or maybe learned how to share in another way, probably if you’re dating someone who is an only child, they are going to be a little selfish. It’s just easier for us when things go according to plan and the way we want them to go. This doesn’t mean we always have to have our way, though.
You can expect us to have our parents on speed dial. We are close to our parents and look for their opinions on how we should live our lives.
Focusing on a single person is much easier than trying to understand what a whole group is talking about.
We are the only person that our parents had to raise, so of course, they are a bit overprotective; they are looking out for our best interests!
We are used to being around adults, so having mature conversations comes naturally. Getting along with those who are older than us is pretty easy because we didn’t have a lot of kids our age to hang out with growing up.
We value the opinion of our family, especially that of our parents. If they don’t find you acceptable, it could be a deal-breaker, so be sure you put your best foot forward when meeting the folks for the first time. You’ll want to make a really good impression. This means you should dress nice, and show you have good manners.
Sharing is something we didn’t learn how to do naturally, at least. Instead, it’s a bit hard for us to understand the needs of others, but this, of course, depends on how old we are and what our life experiences have taught us.
I know I’ve always made it my life’s mission to make my family proud of me! This means that I reach for the stars with the actions I take, with everything I do, and with all my goals. I want to meet the approval of others, so I tend to aim high in life!
We are used to thinking out loud, so talking about whatever is on our minds is a natural occurrence. Ask what’s on your girl or guy’s mind to really get to know them.
It’s true; we’re used to being the center of attention. It’s just how we were brought up. Make sure you are ready to give the attention needed in a relationship.
Frustrated that he doesn't pay you as much attention as he used to?
This is one of the most common issues our female readers face.
The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him today.
Watch this free video (click on the link to watch) that my friend recorded which explains how you can become his priority!
We love quality relationships, and what better way to show you want to be with us than to show you care. Bring home daisies or send a cute text, and we’ll know we are on your mind during the day!
Okay, so maybe our parents picked up after us as we grew up and didn’t teach us how to stay neat and tidy. This isn’t true for everyone; just be aware that this might happen!
Like not learning how to share, only children often have difficulty resolving conflicts in a constructive way. Just show patience, and you’ll have no problem getting along with us.
Being committed to another person doesn’t come naturally; just give us time, and you’ll find that we will come around and want to commit. Whatever you do, don’t try to rush a commitment with an only child. This will just scare us off!
We don’t have to be spoiled or anything; just show you think of us during the day from time to time, at least.
Remember that those who are used to being alone don’t really feel comfortable in group settings. This means that you need to stick by their side during parties, at least until they find someone else to talk to. If you are dating someone like this, just work with them as they learn to be around large groups of people.
For some people, being in a relationship with an only child means they must adjust to the only child syndrome, which states that only children are selfish and spoiled. Of course, this isn’t always how only children act. Many only children tend to be warm and caring.
Some only children have parents who baby them, always giving them their way. This can make them shy or uncomfortable when they are around other people because they don’t know how to behave; instead, they think that other people should adapt to their solo personality style.
Many times, only children don’t get a chance to interact with others as often as those who have siblings do. This is because they are by themselves most of the time. Many only children adapt to their circumstances and become very well adjusted, though.
According to the Seattle Times, the odds of being an only child in America is 20%. 80% of parents have decided to increase the size of their families to have more children. Parents often do this so that children can learn how to share and bond with one another.
Having siblings teaches you how to get along with other people; it helps develop your people skills, teaching you the right way to interact with others. Only children may become introverts, but that doesn’t make them worse off. Many only children develop unique skill sets.
What only child characteristics do you see in your significant other? How have you best-handled people like this? What have you learned on the subject based on your experience?
We’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject. Please comment and share this post if you enjoyed it!
Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes?
We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship.
The thing is that which causes men to behave this way is actually something how men are wired. Once you understand how this works, it's relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him today.
My friend uploaded a quick video which you can watch here (click on the link to watch) where he explains how you can turn this behavior around!