Dating A Workaholic (13 Workable Ways)

by April Maccario

He seems charming and wonderful, but this guy is always at work. First, he’s working towards a promotion. Then, it’s a project. After that, it’s just pure ambition. In reality, you’re dating a workaholic. He might not realize that he’s a workaholic, hence the excuses. 

Once you realize that you’re dating a workaholic, it’s important to decide is it worth dating a workaholic? For many women, it is. However, there are certain things that you’ll need to keep in mind and steps to take in order to make it work. 

How Do You Date A Workaholic Guy?

Dating a workaholic guy involves a certain amount of appreciation for his work ethic, some healthy self-esteem, and being willing to compromise. You’ll also need to make sure that you’re on the priority list. These thirteen things will help you make dating a workaholic work for both of you. 

1. Be understanding

Be understanding

For him to work all those long hours, it’s obvious that his job is very important to him. Perhaps he genuinely loves his work or has a passion for helping people and works in the non-profit sector. Either way, if it means a lot to him, you should be understanding of that. 

If you’re not, it could spell disaster for the relationship. These men do not like to be with someone that cannot be understanding of their long work hours. Ultimately, it will lead to a high level of stress, unhappy partnership, and a breakup

2. Put limits on his work life

When you’re dating one of these guys, they are bound to miss important functions from time to time. However, it’s important to set limits for things that are important to you. If you value time together and have a planned date night, you two should be able to agree that canceling date night is not acceptable unless there are specific circumstances, such as a deadline at work for the next day. 

If you do not have a date night at least once a month, it’s time to set one. This carves time out of both of your schedules so that you can spend time together. Staying connected and being able to enjoy each other is necessary for a happy partnership. 

3. Familiarize yourself with workaholic relationship problems

Every relationship that falls into this category will have its own problems, but there are some patterns that are seen consistently with these relationships as well. Be ready to tackle these problems: 

  • Family members, and spouses, often wind up dissatisfied with the relationship due to lack of time spent together
  • Work may become a priority over the love life
  • This person may be so focused on work that they seem unappreciative and do not notice things, like your new haircut

If you would like to take on the task of dating a workaholic man, be prepared for this and come up with solutions before problems arise to enjoy your life with them. 

4. Enjoy the benefits

I don’t mean financial benefits, although there will obviously be some. Instead, enjoy the other benefits. This person will never suffocate you or make you feel like you don’t have time for yourself. They’ll encourage you to be successful as well. There are quite a few wonderful things about having one of these guys as a significant other. 

5. Get a hobby

If previous relationships involved plenty of quality time, you’re going to need something to occupy yourself. Pick up a new hobby, such as crafting or sewing that you enjoy. (Personally, I love interior decorating.)

The key to making this work is not being dependent on him for your own happiness, to entertain you, etc. In a healthy relationship, each person is responsible for their own emotions and not overly dependent on one another, so this could be seen as a positive thing by many people. 

6. Keep it interesting

These guys will push you to be a better person in every way possible, from throwing you into being emotionally independent to encouraging you to be successful. Being around successful people alone can be enough to encourage you to make better career decisions. That is because they are so into their work that it requires some creativity to get them out of a work zone. 

Keep your relationship spicy to keep them involved. Whether it is random presents or racy lingerie, do what makes his eyes light up. 

7. Be supportive

These people are used to having a partner that complains about their work. They’re used to the complaining and nagging. That’s why relationships don’t work out well for them. Instead, be supportive like you would if your partner suddenly picked up a new hobby. They need encouragement just like everyone else. 

8. Don’t give ultimatums

Don’t make him choose between you and work. Don’t threaten to leave his life unless he cuts down his hours. This will backfire. If he does comply, he’ll be miserable. Instead, tell him how much you want to spend more time with him, or remind him that workaholics like himself need to relax like everyone else. 

9. Don’t let it stop your sex life

This is a common problem. He comes home late, and you’re already exhausted. He’s up early and you’re still in bed. When your schedules can never seem to sync together, it can have a negative impact on your sex life. Then, the entire situation starts to go downhill. Instead, make your sex life a priority, no matter how important his work life is to him.

10. Visit them at work

If you’re allowed to visit them at work, bring them lunch when they’re stressed. A quick cup of coffee and a kiss can say things that are impossible to put into words. This shows him that you care and that you are supportive. It also gives you a chance to spend a few quick minutes with someone that you care about, which can be wonderful for you. 

11. Don’t listen to everyone else

When you're with someone, everyone will have something to say, especially when it comes to workaholics. They’ll recommend therapy, or tell you how someone should value relationships over work, which is often not the case for workaholics. Instead of listening to someone else, do what is right for you and your relationship. You’re the one with someone, not everyone else. 

12. Learn about their work

Learn about their work

If a person really cares about their job, they’ll want to talk about it. Workaholics obviously love their work, and if it’s for more than financial reasons, they’ll light up when discussing it. Taking time to learn about their work also tells you about their passions, and is a way for you to show your support. 

13. Communicate

When you feel like you’re not even on the priority list or feel neglected, you need to communicate that. Workaholics might not notice if you don’t speak your mind. Don’t talk to other people about it instead of your partner, either. Instead, talk to him about your concerns, if things have changed point out how, and offer a solution that you would like to see. 

FAQs

Can you date a workaholic?

Yes, people can date a workaholic. In order to do so, you have to understand that this type of relationship will come with its own downfalls that many other relationships do not. It will take communication, support, and a healthy amount of self-esteem to make it work. 

Can working too much ruin a relationship?

Working too much results in a poor work/life balance, and often makes people in the relationship feel neglected. While it will not necessarily ruin the relationship, it can cause a significant amount of stress if the problems are not resolved and couples are unable to find a compromise that works for them. 

Can workaholics love?

Yes, but it is similar to when an addict loves you. Instead of an illegal substance or alcohol, they are addicted to their work. They make this their priority, and will often be glued to their phone without realizing how much it hurts those that they love. It is still love, but a different type of love. 

How do you deal with a workaholic partner?

Dealing with a workaholic partner can be tough, but it’s possible! Communication, date nights, and compromising so that you are both happy in the relationship will go a long way. Make sure to let your partner know when you’re feeling neglected due to him working so much. 

Are workaholics happy?

Yes, workaholics can be happy. They generally are more satisfied than other people, which leads to them being happier. However, it should be noted that workaholics that do not genuinely want to work those long hours are often stressed. They are usually mistakenly put into the category of workaholics. 

On The Whole…

Dating a workaholic takes patience, communication and not being dependent on your relationship. Have you ever had to figure out how to date a guy like this? How did you deal with it?

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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