Crush vs Love (23 Differences You Need To Know)

by April Maccario

Having a crush on someone and being in love with someone might seem like the same thing when either one of these things is happening to you, but in fact, they couldn’t be more different. 

It’s essential that you know what’s actually happening to you because having a crush on someone is a short-term feeling based on physical appearance and infatuation, whereas being in love with someone is a long-lasting, natural and deep connection with someone. It’s vital that you know what’s different between a crush and love so that you can actually move forward in a way that’s best for you.

So, are you confused about whether you have a crush on someone or if you’re actually falling in love with somebody? 

If so, look no further! This article is here to give you all the help you need in finding out if you’ve got a crush, or you’re in love by looking at the differences of each. 

Let’s dive straight in and check out the 23 differences when it comes to crush vs love.

Contents

23 Differences Between Crush vs Love

1. A crush is an instant feeling, love takes time to blossom

If you feel romantically interested in somebody the moment you see them, sometimes even before you’ve interacted with them, this is most likely a crush because it’s an instant feeling of infatuation, but you could believe that it’s love at first sight. Although love-at-first-sight can exist, true love typically takes time to grow and blossom between two people.

2. A crush is mainly about physical features, love is about the soul of a person

If you have a crush on somebody, you feel mainly attracted to them because of their physical features and sex appeal, whereas when you are in love with somebody you fall in love with them as a person and their appearance means a lot less.

3. A crush consumes your thoughts, love is a part of your thoughts

When you have a crush you get infatuated with somebody, meaning that you get almost obsessed with them and think about them all the time. However, when you’re in love with someone, this person doesn’t consume your thoughts but becomes part of them.

4. A crush lasts weeks or months only, love lasts

a crush last weeks or months only, love lasts

Crushes typically only last a few weeks, with the infatuation leaving you just as quickly as it got to you. However, love, even if it doesn’t last forever, lasts a lot longer because it goes deeper than a purely physical connection.

5. A crush is over the thoughts of a person, love is about the actual person

One of the main differences when looking at crush vs love is that with a crush you get caught up with the idea of a person rather than falling for the actual person. 

6. A crush plays with your emotions, love doesn’t mess you around

Crushes often feel so intense because the waves of emotions come and go so strongly, playing with your emotions and often causing you real emotional trauma. However, loving somebody isn’t game-like and there’s much less chaos in your mind.

7. You change for your crush, with love you’re completely yourself

You desperately want to impress your crush, so you act like a completely different person around them, but in love, you can just be yourself 100% and feel comfortable in the knowledge you’re showing your authentic self. 

8. A crush feels intense, love feels natural

Having a crush on somebody plays with your mind, it feels like you’re out of control and it takes over your life by giving you such intense feelings for a short period of time, whereas love feels gentle and natural, almost as if it was all meant to be.

9. A crush is surface level, love is a deep connection

An important difference between a crush and love is that due to the fact a crush is based on physical attraction and idealization, its surface level and never really lights up your soul. However, when you love someone you create a deep connection with them and you’ll never experience the same thing with another person like that.

10. You feel on edge with your crush, you feel at home with your love

You’re not showing your true colors around a crush so you feel on edge all of the time that you’re around them, but with love, it’s like you’ve come home and you’re 100% comfortable and at ease.

11. You always know that your crush will eventually come to an end, with love you know it will last

When you’re crushing on someone you’re always aware of the fact that things will most likely come to an end, but when you’re in true love with someone you have a feeling in your heart knowing that things will last.

12. You’re more self-conscious around your crush, you’re confident around your love

When you have a crush on somebody you’ll be self-conscious around them, always concerned with what you look like, what you're saying, and whether you’re making a good impression or not. However, when you’re in love, you can feel confident just being yourself.

13. A crush makes you nervous, love makes you calm

a crush makes you nervous, love makes you calm

When you’re around the person you have a crush on you’ll feel nervous and often quite scared to even speak to them, but when you’re in love you feel calm, uplifted, and able to openly communicate.

14. A crush drains you, love builds you up

Although you might think having a crush on somebody is all fun and games, it’s often really mentally draining because you’re so infatuated by somebody that you can’t focus on anything else and it drains all your energy. On the other hand, love builds you up, gives you energy, and boosts you in all aspects of your life.

15. You have expectations of a crush, there are no expectations of love

You idealize someone that you have a crush on and therefore you set expectations of what they should be like or how they should act, and a lot of the time these expectations aren’t even realistic. When you’re in love, you don’t expect anything, you just appreciate the person.

16. A crush is actually selfish, love is selfless

When you crush on somebody it’s because you want them to notice you, see you, most likely pleasure you, and have an intimate relationship with you - all of these things are selfish. When you’re in love, you act selflessly and always want to make the other person happy.

17. A crush makes you jealous, love makes you feel comfortable

Due to the fact you’re not exclusive with your crush or you might not even have any kind of relationship with them, you can easily get jealous. However, when you’re in love with somebody, you speak about the exclusivity of the relationship and feel comfortable knowing the ground rules with this person.

18. The smallest thing can end your crush, love can work through anything

Infatuation plays a huge part in having a crush on somebody, and this can easily be destroyed by something as small as your crush saying the wrong thing or looking bad. However, in love, no issue is usually too big to work through.

19. You’re not actually that concerned with a crush’s feelings, but with love, that’s what you care most about

You fantasize and idealize a crush and therefore you won’t actually think about their feelings, whereas when you’re in love, that’s pretty much all you think about because you want to make that person happy.

20. With a crush, you have two very separate lives, love is one life together

You can crush on somebody from afar, or you can even have some kind of relationship with your crush, but whatever happens, you definitely live two very separate lives. In love, you live life together as a team.

21. You can have multiple crushes at once, you can love one person at one time

One of the main differences when looking at love vs crush is the fact that you can have multiple crushes at the same time, but you normally only love one person at one time. This is because crushing on somebody doesn’t actually require any type of commitment, but loving somebody does.

22. Having a crush makes you feel like a teenager, love makes you feel ready for life

having a crush makes you feel like a teenager, love makes you feel ready for life

Crushing on somebody makes you feel all giddy and excited like a kid, but love makes you feel ready for life as an adult because it’s empowering and exciting to think about the future with somebody.

23. Expectations are never met with a crush, love exceeds any expectations

Probably the most important difference looking at love vs crush is that expectations of your crush are never met, but when you’re in love with someone, they exceed even your wildest expectations.

FAQs

What does crush mean in love?

When talking about love and relationships, a crush is a certain feeling you have towards somebody, typically due to the physical attraction you have towards them. You will feel infatuated with this person, your mind will become consumed with thoughts of them and you’ll want them, even if you can’t necessarily have them. You will probably confuse a crush and love, so this article should help you figure out what’s really going on.

Can you fall in love with a crush?

You could technically start to fall in love with your crush, but you wouldn’t feel like you had a crush anymore, you would feel like it was love. For example, you wouldn’t be selfish and not care about their feelings, but you would be selfless and want them to be happy. If you think you’re falling in love with your crush, take a look at the 23 points above and see which parts resonate with you best.

How long does a crush last before its love?

If you’re falling in love with somebody, you will rarely actually go through the crush stage because you’re too interested in them as a person and you’re eager to get to know them for who they are, whereas a crush is based on physical appearance and idealization. However, if you feel like you have a crush on somebody for more than four months, you may actually be in love.

Is having feelings for someone the same as love?

Obviously, love is a feeling you have for someone, but having feelings for someone and being in love with someone is completely different. You can have romantic or sexual feelings towards somebody without being in love with them.

What is having a crush?

If you have a crush on somebody you are attracted to them in both a physical and romantic way, however, it’s more about physical attraction. When you have a crush on somebody you become infatuated by them, meaning that a lot of the time, thoughts of them take over your mind and you lose control of yourself.

In Conclusion

Hopefully, after reading this article you’re all clued up on the differences between having a crush and actually being in love with somebody. Remember, love feels natural and it’s about connecting with someone on a deep and meaningful level, whereas a crush is surface level and based on physical attraction.

Did you like this article and find it useful? Let us know in the comments and feel free to share!

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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