A lot of people believe that you can tell a lot about a relationship by observing how the couple sleeps… those people are right. It totally depends on you if you want to read meaning into the fact that your boyfriend won’t cuddle you in bed, but I’m here to tell you all what it means regardless.
Best believe that body language is still relevant even when you’re not awake. For instance, people who sleep on their backs are apparently strong, broody, and mysterious while your carefree, playful friend probably sleeps on their stomach.
That’s interesting, right? Well, I’m about to turn the heat up and tell you some truths you may or may not want to hear. So sit tight and let’s delve into the hidden message behind the reason he drapes a leg over you at night.
If you’ve ever been in a relationship, then you know this one all too well. Especially when it's new love, couples enjoy sleeping in this position. All the maximum body contact involved is nothing less than a delight since they can’t get enough of themselves. Not that it needs any description, but here’s what the spooning sleep position entails.
One person plays the part of the big spoon (usually the man), and they basically cocoon the other person. As mentioned before, if you’re spooning like this, it's pretty obvious that the relationship is in its early stages and both of you would rather not go a moment without touching each other.
It's great, of course, all the excitement that comes with having a new beau even translates into dreamland. But, this position tends to wane over time and graduate to a looser, more comfortable spoon. It's actually a bit of a relief if you think about it since spooning is not the most comfortable sleeping position.
So, embrace the maturity of your relationship and simply enjoy being the big or little spoon while it lasts.
This is probably another progression from a traditional spoon sleeping position. But there’s a certain twist on this one because it spells a little bit of doom. Here one partner is perched at one side of the bed while the other is practically chasing them there.
The partner doing the chasing is basically the big spoon in this scenario. Experts will tell you that this signifies that the little spoon in this case basically wants to be chased. For the most part, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But everything in excess can actually end up being a bit ‘too much’ for lack of a better phrase.
Taking it up a notch, it could simply mean that one person simply wants their space. They could simply want their space in bed or in the relationship as a whole. On a lighter note, this position is most likely to land one or both parties involved on the floor.
Now with this couple sleeping position, things get a little bit more interesting. Have you ever woken up unsure of where your body starts and his ends? Then you’re most likely sleeping in a knot position. No one needs to tell you that this position simply means you can’t get enough of each other.
It's quite intimate and involves a couple sleeping facing each other with their arms and legs intertwined. You don’t need a soothsayer to tell you that this kind of entanglement does not make for a good night’s sleep.
So, you’ll often find that most couples sleep like this quite early on in their relationship. It's nothing short of cute, but it's not very sustainable as far as couple sleeping positions go. In fact, you’ll probably wake up in the morning to find that your arms and legs are still asleep.
As the name implies, this is quite similar to the knot; in fact, it starts out as a knot and graduates to two people each sleeping on their side of the bed. After about half an hour of sleeping, the knot unravels and there are actually layers of underlying interpretations here. For the most part, it points to a solid show of trust in the relationship.
Couples who sleep like this are confident enough in their relationship to do their own thing and allow the other person to do the same. Some people see it as a sign that something is amiss, but it's quite far from that in this case. Having the freedom to sleep as you want on your side of the bed is basically the same thing as being able to have your own hustle and be your own person. Based on all this and more, couples who sleep like this are even stronger than couples who sleep in the knot position all through the night.
This is one of those couple sleeping positions with a pretty obvious name, but I’m going to spell it out anyway. Most people are bothered by the notion of a couple sleeping without any body contact at all. It sounds even more outrageous when they aren’t even facing each other.
In fact, this article clearly states that couples who touch while sleeping are a lot happier than couples who don’t. That’s not entirely the case with the decoupled couple, for the most part, it points to a state of comfort and contentment in the relationship. Here, they are both comfortable doing their own thing even while they are asleep.
You’ll find that a lot of older couples sleep in this position and even more, they enjoy every free inch of the bed.
Think of this one as a very loosely defined knot sleep position where your legs are intertwined with your partner’s. For the most part, this is quite fun and laid back, so you’ll most likely do it at the beginning of the relationship. The leg hug is also one of the most sexual sleeping positions of the bunch.
So, if one person starts to play footsie during the course of the night, it probably points to the fact that neither you nor your partner is getting much sleep that night. This couple sleeping position points to the fact that both of you are pretty much in tune with each other.
You’re at that point in your relationship where you finish each other’s sentences and can’t keep your hands to yourself. So, once again, I’ll advise you to enjoy the leg hug while it lasts… or whenever it pops up.
From the name, it's obvious that this isn't romantic or even pleasant in any way. Here, one partner basically dominates the bed by sleeping in a starfish position. You don't need a soothsayer to tell you that while one per person is sprawled across the bed, the other one is huddled in one corner.
This position portrays a major imbalance in the relationship with one person taking a back seat. So, if you wake up scrunched on the edge of the bed every night, or vice versa, it's time to have a talk about the imbalance. Another common thing you'll notice with this sleep position is the fact that one person's head is often kissing the headboard; I'll give you one guess.
Of course, it's the more dominant partner, he or she, is a lot more confident and it spills into their sleep position. On the flip side, if a couple sleeps with their heads side by side, they’re probably in tandem when it comes to most things in their relationship.
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All in all, your take away from this is the fact that the space hog does not make for a comfortable situation while you’re awake or asleep.
You may have heard about this one, in fact, most people refer to it as a the nuzzle. As far as couple sleeping positions go, it is by far one of the cutest. Are you not convinced? Well, picture this, he’s lying on his back flat on the bed while you rest your head on his chest. It’s practically something out of the movies and couples can hug each other and cuddle in this position.
In a lot of ways, it's a lot like spooning but in this position, both one partner isn’t engulfing the other. Think of it as a full-on embrace, and in most cases, it can be pretty uncomfortable. Hugs are pretty amazing, but no one particularly wants one for more than a couple of seconds.
If it's done throughout the night, one partner or both could end up with limbs that have fallen asleep. So, enjoy this during that famed honeymoon stage, or on special occasions when you’re feeling especially close to your partner.
Here’s another one to look out for because it is not a sign of great things when it comes to couple sleeping positions. Here, both parties are lying on different sides of the bed and if there’s a leg over the side, then things are especially bad. With this position, comfort is probably a winner, but the space basically signifies the fact that the couple has drifted apart.
This is not a 100% guarantee that the relationship is going down the drain, in fact, some people are just on this page for the comfort it offers. After all, sleep is a time to get some rest and if you don’t get enough of that it could affect your mental wellbeing, and your physical health as well.
Regardless, most people reckon this position points to the fact that the couple is not particularly in touch any more.
If you’re after comfort but still want to maintain a level of intimacy, then this is the position to go for. Here, but both parties basically do whatever they want throughout the entire night. They sleep in one position after the other, and sort of reconvene at some point with one partner curls up into a fetal position.
The other partner is plopped on the back, with their hand on their partner’s derriere or hip if you’d rather call it that. Altogether, this position offers a little bit of intimacy with the discomfort of the spoon or the passion of the leg hug.
That body contact, regardless of how little, is enough to establish that there’s a bond between the couple in question.
Right off the bat, you should know that this is not the healthiest way to snooze, whether you’re in bed alone or with someone. In very layman terms, you’re smooshing your organs with the weight of your spine if you sleep this way. It also takes a toll on your spine and leads to major back pains over time.
Then there’s the fact that you have to turn your head to the side to breathe well, so the part of your spinal cord that extends to your neck gets all twisted up. Let’s call this what it is; a death hazard. As implied before, this isn’t great in relationships too.
It points to some underlying distrust as well as a sign that someone or both parties are feeling a little vulnerable and raw. So, it's probably safe to stay off your stomach while you’re asleep. But if it does come up, it's time to address those problems so it doesn’t wreak havoc on your all-around health.
Need I say more? This one is pretty self-explanatory, imagine the rigidity of a military officer and apply this to your nighttime habits. In this case, both parties lie flat on their back and their arms are firmly planted by their sides. It basically looks like their standing at attention, except it's on their backs.
Though it does not say much about the couple in question, a lot of people around the world spend the night this way. It's honestly a mystery though since it’s not particularly comfortable and leads to a lot of snoring. So, if you’ve got a case of sleep apnea, this probably isn’t the best route to take.
It could mean a whole lot of things at the end of the day, you see, when you’re asleep, your subconscious takes over. When you push him away while he’s asleep or become a full-blown space hog, it could mean a number of things. On one hand, you may feel claustrophobic in your relationship, on the other you probably just like to sleep on a spacy bed.
In a nutshell, people who sleep without facing each other most likely don’t trust themselves. But the story changes if they’re backs are touching because it simply means they are secure in their relationship and are still quite independent. On the other hand, new lovers tend to cuddle up really close and who can blame them, new love is amazing.
There’s a number of ways to enjoy a good night’s sleep with your partner and the truth is that it's different for every couple. Some people feel more comfortable hugging one another while they sleep. On the other hand, you’ll find that some people would rather sleep without touching the other person. So, find what works for you and hope that your partner likes that too.
As mentioned before, sleeping back to back can point to the fact that there’s a disconnect and a certain level of distrust in the relationship. Nevertheless, if their backs are touching one another then they are actually quite comfortable with their individuality. In fact, a lot of old couples sleep this way.
No one can really tell you how to sleep, of all things, it's really just a matter of comfort if you think about it. But when it comes to couples, both of you really need to reach a consensus. He could be the big spoon while you’re the little spoon, or you could mix it up and try vice versa. Basically, anything that brings you both comfort flies.
You’d think something as trivial as a sleep position won’t have much of an impact on your relationship. Well, you’re right, while it undoubtedly has some hidden interpretation here and there.
Don’t let your entire love life hinge on the fact that your man won’t cuddle at night, or he hogs all the space. Learn how to coexist and use other subtle means to determine how your beau feels about you. Since I’ve said quite a lot on the topic, I’d really like to hear your take on a couple of sleeping positions.
Feel free to drop a comment in the box below. Even more, take it up a notch by sharing this with anyone who’d benefit from knowing a little more about their sleeping habits.
Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes?
We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship.
The thing is that which causes men to behave this way is actually something how men are wired. Once you understand how this works, it's relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him today.
My friend uploaded a quick video which you can watch here (click on the link to watch) where he explains how you can turn this behavior around!