A lot of people have bought into the discussion of packing up and leaving at the first deal-breaker they experience in their relationship. This doesn’t water down the importance of ensuring your partner is on the same page with you, but it does bring up the question of relationship compromise.
When should a person absolutely put their foot down and refuse to see reason, and when should they put their pride away and make important compromises in a relationship? These are the questions we must ask to ensure we aren’t building the foundations of an unfair relationship or making life unbearable for someone else.
Compromises in a relationship start from a place of openness, empathy, good communication, and understanding. Without this, there’d be a truckload of arguments; one person tugging one end of the rope and another pulling at the other end, it will always end with one partner getting hurt.
No doubt, in life, you generally want to make compromises; at work, with family, and even personally. But when in a relationship, most seem to throw caution to the wind, take advantage of a loving relationship, and outrightly demand that things always go their way. So the question is, why do people act reasonably at work, with family, and fail to do the same in their romantic relationships?
If your partner does this, or maybe you're the one always insisting that it’s your way or the highway, please read on, and let’s discuss core reasons why compromise is a must in every relationship.
Every relationship requires adequate compromise, whether it’s work, cordial, platonic, or an intimate relationship. In fact, most people compromise in a given situation without even knowing it, and in some situations, refuse to compromise when they should. Here’s the thing, compromise is one way of showing how much you respect the other person’s views.
It happens when we agree to go with a colleague's idea at work, just to give him the opportunity to lead on something, even when we think our own idea is better. It’s the whole idea of toning down ‘self’ ‘I’ ‘Me’ and integrating that into ‘we.’ This works incredibly well in romantic relationships because people like to be heard, respected, and understood.
It’s not necessarily one person winning over the other, but both partners ensuring that they are somehow on the same page; a mutually beneficial one.
You may feel like your partner is getting the upper hand when you decide to compromise, but that’s why you have to know how to compromise and when to draw the line. How much a partner should compromise for their relationship should focus on compromising on a relationship's core needs.
More importantly, doing this regularly won’t just win you life points, but will help you gain your partner’s trust. When your partner sees that you're willing to be reasonable when making decisions and vice versa, there’s already that trust established between both of you that makes things a lot easier.
It could be as simple as turning off the lights because your partner prefers to sleep with the lights off, or taking the bus on a day your partner needs the car to get to an important meeting on time. However, couples need to know when to draw the line, especially when there’s abuse or unhealthy dominance involved.
Many come into relationships or marriage with the notion that love is war, they feel every issue should be dealt with an iron sword, or in this case, a concrete argument. However, you must realize that your relationship isn’t a court of law, it should be a level playing ground that is peaceful, loving and full of understanding.
Also, when you have a reasonable partner you love, you’d try to deal with every situation in wisdom. It could be important choices like picking out new tiles or other things like replacing the sugar with a natural sweetener for health reasons. Instead of insisting on having your way, especially when the suggestion is reasonable, it’s best to sit back and think first, if it’s something you can manage.
Someone who will never see reason can’t expect peace, there’ll always be tension around the house, and then people would start walking on eggshells around you. Plus, the less you compromise, your partner might just start keeping things to himself, and prefer to make decisions alone instead of sharing things with you first.
Everyone wants a healthy relationship, and sometimes, the bridge to arrive at that healthy place can only be built on the blocks of compromise. Being willing to hear the other party out, and coming to a level ground where he can trust you to discomfort yourself a little just for peace sake will only foster love.
This is only the case if your partner compromises as well, then both of you can trust you’d always have each others’ back. Yes, they are trivial issues that seem almost impossible for you to agree with, like maybe sending the kids to public school instead of private, or having a blue-themed party when your favorite color is obviously beige, it all comes down to what you're willing to overlook for your partner.
When compromise is present in a relationship, there’s a healthy environment where two people are happy to discuss anything and everything, because they both ultimately know the other would be open to making it work.
There are many individuals who are just naturally dominant in life. They like to call all the shots, make sure every detail meets their expectations, and sometimes, they end up hijacking your idea and turning it into something very different. Dating someone like that can be tough, cause it’s hard for the other person to have their voice heard.
A relationship that stands on the foundations of compromise gives the dominant partner the chance to listen to their partner, and at least, occasionally, let them have their way. Without compromise, there’s no love, and something as simple as reducing the volume so the other person could make a call becomes a problem.
If you know you’re a bit dominant, please encourage your partner to constantly have an open discussion with you. When having those conversations, try as much as possible to keep an open mind. Resist the urge to take over and have the final say, it’s only fair that your partner has some wins as well, and if you do love him, you’ll let him decide more often.
You may feel like compromising on both the simple and more trivial things makes you a sucker, or a loser in the game of love, (if it’s a game that is) but it’s actually the opposite. Like I stated in the previous point, some have grown into quite selfish, demanding, and negative attitudes, and while we might try to ignore it, it’s true.
If you constantly feel the need to have your way or not listen to what anyone else has to say, that’s just selfish. Feeling that your partner always has to please you, and doesn’t love you if he doesn’t do what you say, is just plain immature.
Certainly, relationships thrive on understanding, communication, affection, intimacy, and more, yet, all those values can’t function without compromise, and it’s one great strategy of working on selfish habits. It helps the ‘selfish’ partner check themselves, and constantly remember to put their partner and everyone else’s considerations to heart as well.
If you truly want to have a connection with one another, then compromising in your relationship is unavoidable. You can’t build a loving, honest, and intimate relationship without empathy and understanding.
Even business partnerships thrive on compromise; reaching a middle ground that may inconvenience one, more than the other, but is equally beneficial to all parties. Believing otherwise is like living in ‘la-la’ land, not every fantasy has a happy ending. So if you want a consistent flow of friendship, love, or even intimacy, learn to compromise every now and then.
Good compromises will always improve a relationship, it helps both partners have an equal say in various situations, and allows both parties to feel loved, respected, and most importantly, heard.
Just like love, compromise is one of those spices you can’t do without in a relationship. It could be matters concerning your kids, finances, food, health, or even your sex life. It creates a level ground where both partners can easily communicate with each other, knowing they’ll come to a beneficial decision.
If your partner is manipulative or abusive, there’s no understanding that. You can’t let anyone play with your emotions, values, morals, or mental/physical health, the line should always be drawn on matters relating to this.
Someone could go out of their comfort zone to please you, make sure you're happy, and push all the stops to see your dreams come true, but if the favor isn’t returned, then that guy deserves better. You have to meet him half-way, listen to what the other party is saying and try to agree on a reasonable conclusion.
Men crave relationships where they won’t only be loved, but respected, encouraged, and maybe even complimented once in a while. Men like to feel good about themselves, and that can’t happen if you don’t try to understand them.
Remember, If you are truly going to have a long, enjoyable partnership, friendship, or relationship, then you should know there’s a ‘give and take’ system ruling the game. Please leave a comment below if you enjoyed this list, and don’t forget to share it with others as well.