Am I Dating A Clingy Boyfriend? (13 Uncomfortable Signs)

by April Maccario

What does clingy mean? It means being too emotionally and physically dependent on someone else. Being clingy means not respecting a friend’s or partner’s personal space and time, it’s something that can go from being cute, to intolerable

So how do you know when you have a clingy boyfriend? Well, if you even have to ask, then that’s the first sign. 

Every human being deserves their personal space and alone time, to think and just enjoy their own company. A clingy boyfriend will always want to spend time with you, and find a way to talk to you even when you’ve told him to give you space. It can be annoying if your boyfriend wants to be with you all the time and follows you around even to the most personal places. 

13 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Clingy

There is a difference between a loving and caring boyfriend and a clingy one. Although sometimes the line between them can be blurred, being in a relationship with a caring boyfriend is considered healthy as love and care is relevant in a relationship. A clingy boyfriend can be worrisome because clinginess also comes with jealousy

Martinez, a Psychologist, states that clingy people often have insecurities about themselves which leads to jealousy and so they tend to cling to their partners to keep an eye on them and know what they are doing. Here are signs that you have a clingy boyfriend.

1. Constant texting

Does he double text even before you get the chance to respond and text at odd hours of the day? These are red flags my dear, it’s one of the first telltale signs of a needy boyfriend. Such people lack the self-discipline to relax and wait for a response to their text messages. It stems from a strong desire to want to know what you are doing all the time.

When you are out with friends, they might call a number of times and leave several messages. They also get worried or nervous when they can't reach you and might go the extra mile of reaching out to your parents and close friends. Although communication in a relationship is important, it should be done with moderation.

2. He stalks your social media

It's okay if he likes your pictures or shares funny videos with you on social media. However, it gets too much when he begins to question you about a comment made under a post a while back or a picture you liked.

Needy people tend to stalk their significant others' social media accounts. It's all in the bid to know what you are up to in the social world, who you're talking to and who might be significant competition. Some partners might even demand the passwords to their significant others social media accounts. They go through your followers  as well and might stalk the followers from there. 

3. He is ALWAYS available

He is always available

As human beings, you should both have your separate lives and not put each other's life on hold for the other. Partners are supposed to be wholesome and self-reliant first so they have what to contribute to the relationship. So, your life should not only revolve around the relationship. 

That’s the thing about needy people, they tend to ditch what they truly enjoy, even their friends, for their significant others. This can be risky for their self-confidence because if the relationship doesn't work out, it can be damaging for them. This also puts unnecessary pressure on the relationship.

4. He constantly craves your attention

If he constantly wants your time and attention even for the tiniest of things, then that’s something to be careful about. It often results in a fight, if you are not able to meet up with their needs or give them the amount of time and attention that they require. 

Psychologists say that clinginess comes from low self-esteem and a desire to be loved. When you give your attention, it makes them feel valued. Clingy people are always in search of some validation for every little thing. They want to feel like they are seen and loved, this can be very unhealthy for couples in a relationship.

5. He doesn't like it when you do things without them

A clingy boyfriend won’t understand that you want to do something or go somewhere without them. It's just mind-boggling to them as they expect that they should be in the center of your life. In fact, clingy people want to be involved in everything that you do. If they could share a breath with you, trust me they will. 

They have ditched their friends and relegated their family members to place you as a priority and so they feel like you should do the same. Also, because he no longer communicates with his friends, he doesn't have plans and expects that he is included in all your plans even if it's a girls’ trip.

6. He tries to rush things

Clingy people always want to be in a relationship. They feel hanging out with you all the time and choking you with their presence will be justified if they are in a relationship with you. I once met a guy once who asked me to be his girlfriend the very next day after we met and there was no relenting for weeks to come. 

Clingy people crave a relationship to feel valued and validated. So if you meet someone who seems to be in a hurry for no reason, make sure you pause a bit and reconsider before obliging.

7. He hates when you go out without them

People in relationships have different sets of friends, you both definitely had friends before meeting. In some cases, as the relationship progresses, you both now have the same circle of friends. If your partner gets upset or sad when you go out with your friends then that's a bad sign. 

He might even go as far as wanting to go out with you and we all know how we don't want boys at the girls’ hangouts. He might be feeling sad because he doesn't have a similar support system or he's feeling left out. Whether it's every weekend or occasionally, a clingy person would want to fully participate in your activities.

Relationship expert Martinez states that it also works the other way around. When a clingy person is out, they might spend the time worrying about what their significant other is up to and feel the need to be part of it. People that value alone time would find a situation like this very challenging.

8. He no longer has a mind of their own

Clingy people tend to conceal how they feel from their partners or hush a certain opinion. This might sound contrary to the other tips but clinginess comes in different forms. Clingy people have a strong desire to be loved and valued in a relationship. 

Therefore, for fear of driving their partners away, they agree with everything that is said and refrain from expressing their own opinions. Pop sugar, a relationship blog, also buttresses this by saying that clingy people jump their ship of opinions to yours because of fear.

This also stems from low self-esteem. By tucking away their own opinion, they take up yours and make it their own as well.

9. He gets jealous easily

He gets jealous easily

Does he ever complain about that attractive co-worker? or that friend you study with? Welp! This is a red flag. Clingy people tend to feel insecure when they see their significant other hanging around people they feel could be a threat to them. There is the notion that jealousy and clinginess go hand in hand and it's proven to be true.

If he calls often when you are at work or studying with this study buddy then you can be sure he's jealous. Clingy people are not the best when it comes to trusting their partners so you can believe he has you on his radar just to be sure you aren't doing anything to break the imaginary trust like cheating.

10. He doesn't have his interests anymore

Meeting him, he had his own interests but now he doesn't seem to have them anymore. His interests are your interests which can contribute to the mundanity of a relationship. Further to ditching his friends and relegating family members, he also dropped his hobbies and things he loved to do. 

That’s his own way of giving his all into the relationship. He might have liked to paint and play the piano, now he doesn't do any of that but rather follows you to every yoga session and photography shoot. 

According to Martinez, clingy people see their partners as the center of their world and hence want to do everything with them even at the expense of their personal interests.

11. He fishes for compliments

Love drives away all fear, therefore if you love someone and you show it, your partner should not be in want or in doubt if you love them or not. Clingy people want to feel loved and valued and so he might go overboard when fishing for compliments and reassurance. 

No matter how much you express yourself to a clingy partner or how much you cherish them, it might never just be enough. Constant reassurance is something they need to be sure you genuinely like them.

12. He hangs around your favorite spots

You might have texted to say you were meeting up with some friends for coffee and boom you walk into him in the same coffee shop. Clingy people will hang around their significant others favorite spots just to be sure of what they are up to. 

They want to confirm you aren't cheating on them. Some clingy people even have apps that track their partners’ phones, so they can make sure they are where they said they’ll be.

13. He is more into you than you are into him

An author, Elizabeth Jones says that when we notice people we care about pulling away, we tend to chase after them more intensely for reassurance. This is the case with clingy people, they never want to feel like you might be withdrawing from them. It's the fear that you might leave them that creates that high. If this bothers you so much then it's a sign that you might not be into him as much as he is into you.

FAQs

What is a clingy boyfriend?

A clingy boyfriend is someone who wants to be with their significant other all the time and barely gives them any space. They end up abandoning their own interests and try to be absorbed into their partner’s personal life and space. 

Is a clingy boyfriend good?

A clingy boyfriend is not good but that doesn't signal the end of the relationship as people can actually build confidence in themselves and change.

What is a clingy person?

A clingy person wants to be included in every aspect of your life. They might not like it when they are excluded from your life's activities as they would place you as a priority, often leading to them ditching their friends and even family to hang out with you.

How do you tell a guy he is too clingy

Setting boundaries from the beginning is important in dealing with a clingy person. Oftentimes, the clinginess is a result of insecurity. Telling him gently and politely might work and not bruise his ego.

How do guys become clingy?

A lack of security and self-confidence can induce clinginess in a guy. This might stem from past relationships or from growing up. Low self-esteem can also make a guy needy especially when they have a strong desire to not lose their partner.

To Put It All Together

It's important to recognize these signs before getting into a relationship. If you are already in one, it doesn't necessarily mean it's the end of your love life. Have a conversation with your significant other, set your boundaries and express how you feel, people can change. 

I hope you found this article insightful. I would love to hear what you think in the comment section and remember to share the article if you liked it.

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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