The American Psychological Association reports that about 40-50% of all marriages end in divorce. For this reason, it’s important to know the characteristics of a successful marriage. What causes the end of good relationships, and what makes for a healthy marriage?
Many people in successful relationships would agree that their partner meets their needs, which is what caused them to be happy with their partner. For couples to learn how to meet each other’s needs, they must first understand what their basic needs are.
Tony Robbins lists the 6 basic needs as significance, certainty, variety, growth, love/connection, and contribution. You can meet these needs if you really try. It’s not easy, but this article will go over the top ways to achieve a healthy marriage, so you will know what to do to make your partner happy, which is hopefully what you want to do!
About 48% of couples who were in a relationship that ended said the reasons they were no longer together was due to a lack of appreciation. In my opinion, that makes this trait a pretty important one to do in a marriage! Plus, the basic need for “contribution” is validated when you show your partner appreciation.
Show and tell your spouse you are grateful for all he has done for you and your family.
We get it; no matter how hard we try, we’re going to get on each other’s nerves. There’s usually conflict when you share a life together. Be productive when you resolve issues. Couples in successful marriages know when to give in and let things go. Sometimes, trivial issues just aren’t worth fighting about.
Pick your battles and learn to fight fair.
The Urban Dictionary defines “respect” as treating your partner in a positive way that acknowledges what they’re doing and who they are.
People in great marriages have a solid amount of genuine respect for one another. They know one of the elements of happiness is being respected and treated in a fair, positive way. Also, showing respect for your spouse validates their need for “significance,” so this a valuable trait to add to your marriage.
Remember, when you are together, treat your spouse in the way you want to be treated. Showing your spouse this trait will lead to a long and happy marriage.
Successful couples know to make a marriage last a long time, you need to be able to put yourself in your spouse’s shoes and understand where they are coming from. It doesn’t mean you have to give in to every fight, but try to respect their point of view.
Winning marriages also contain a great deal of forgiveness. You must learn how to let things go; this means no more harping on an old subject. I think it’s also important to note that you shouldn’t pick fights just to have the drama; instead, find more ways to be agreeable.
Try to see the point of view of your spouse and remember to forgive often.
If you don’t have patience with your spouse, you’re in for a bumpy ride! Understandably, it’s not the easiest virtue to adopt, but it will help you find happiness with the one you love, as the little things won’t get to you so much.
Practice daily meditation or yoga to center yourself.
It’s great to let loose with your partner and just have a good time! Some of the happiest people I know say their marriages were successful because they made each other laugh. You don’t have to be Jerry Seinfeld, but try not to take everything so seriously.
Share humor when you’re together with your spouse.
Being able to know that what your spouse says is the truth can greatly strengthen your marriage. In fact, this is one of the key ingredients in a happy marriage. If you have problems with trust, it may be worth it to share your problems with a licensed therapist for couples.
Believe your spouse, and have faith in what they say and do.
Being supportive validates your spouse’s need for certainty. Just believe in your spouse and the things he does, or you will never see the sparks die. Use this as an opportunity to bond together.
Believe in your spouse and support their actions.
Working together as a unit is what makes the two of you stronger. Be the yin to his yang and work to be on his side every day. Think about the Amazing Race; those couples work hard to encourage and build each other up.
Try working with your spouse rather than against him or her.
The Urban Dictionary explained this quality as having a realistic appreciation of your strengths and your weaknesses. I believe it’s about taking the blame for your wrongdoings and accepting outcomes.
Don’t always think you’re right.
I believe this was at the top of my list of characteristics I wanted in the perfect man because I needed someone who would want an everlasting marriage as I did. Loyalty can get you through the long haul; it’s all about believing your spouse is as committed to the relationship as you are.
Show your commitment to the success of your relationship
To fulfill your spouse’s need for variety and to make serious headway towards happiness, find things the two of you can share together. One way to do this is to learn more about what your spouse likes to do in his free time. Find a way to be interested in the uninteresting. For example, if he loves keeping aquariums, learn about the different species of fish.
Find ways that you can connect with your spouse.
I knew a wife once who didn’t agree with her husband’s views on having children, and they divorced one another. I just didn’t get why they hadn’t discussed this before marriage.
Having shared values may mean different things to you, but a few of the things it means to me include politics, family life/expectations, hygiene, and views on a variety of items. I seriously had a boyfriend once who did not have good hygiene; needless to say, it didn’t work out. I think having the same views on life, in general, will help the marriage last.
Try to be an accepting spouse and enjoy your shared values.
You may not be a spiritual person; you can believe anything. In successful marriages, the couple believes the same thing or at least respects the viewpoint of their spouse.
In a book, Date or Soulmate, the author came to the conclusion that the most important similarity concerns spirituality. He explains by spiritual harmony, he means the deeper context within which a person perceives his life to be lived. With your partner, make sure you can respect or join in their beliefs.
Find a like-minded spiritual person or accept the beliefs of your spouse.
Having a couch potato is not a bad thing if you share this energy level; similarly, a high energy individual works well with a like-minded partner. Having this likeness will take you far in your relationship.
Enjoy the same energy level as your spouse.
Most people who have experienced marital success realize the importance of finding time for sexual intimacy. Unfortunately, many people just can’t find the time to implement this in their lives; however, being attracted and having sexual compatibility with your spouse is a recipe for a very successful marriage.
Enjoy sexual intimacy with your spouse.
Love encompasses so many wonderful gifts; here’s a shortlist. Love is full of patience, kindness, compassion, humility, trust, calmness, respect, honesty, hopefulness, and persistence.
Express the love for your spouse in all you do.
Intimacy is so much more than just sex. It’s a level of closeness reserved for the one you share everything with. Intimacy goes beyond the bounds of friendship and leads straight to a strong closeness with the person you are with, who is typically the one you spend the most time with, the person you tell everything to.
Is your spouse your best friend?
A solid marriage has empathy for their spouse, showing a certain level of kindness and understanding. A compassionate individual puts the needs and desires of other people first.
Be kind and understanding with your spouse.
The characteristics of happy marriages include commitment, humor, respect, flexibility, and shared values. The happiest couples learn and grow together, and they really make an effort to keep their spouse happy. In fact, they go above and beyond in their actions; they truly show their spouse that they care.
A successful marriage lasts a long time, ideally the rest of your life. To be in a successful marriage, you have to work at it; you must put your effort into making your partner happy. You can do this by listening intently and paying close attention to what matters.
Four of the main characteristics of the happiest marriage include commitment, intimacy, communication, and trust. A big part of maintaining these characteristics in a marriage is remaining faithful and trustworthy; your partner needs to be able to rely on you to do what you say you will.
A great wife can make for a good marriage, and a good marriage makes for a good life. So, how can you become a good wife? Be honest, loving, sweet, sexy, and fun-loving - to name a few! You also should understand your man’s needs and work to meet them.
The three factors that lead to the happiest marriages include good communication, trust, and commitment to the marriage. You must love your partner, or the marriage won’t last; you must show you love your partner to have a happily married life.
Are you married and have success in your love life? What are your thoughts on the traits of a successful marriage? I’d love to hear from you. Please share this post and comment below.