Can My Boyfriend Tell If I Slept With Someone Else? (13 Ways He Can Tell)

Last updated on June 9, 2022 by April Maccario

Sometimes, relationships get rocky and experience rough patches that may require a break. Because of the uncertainties at the time, many people find themselves in the arms of a new lover only to realize that they are still in love with their previous partners. 

To a lot of people, cheating is a forbidden fruit that no one should eat. Yet, however poisonous or dangerous it may seem, a lot of us still fall for its lures and juicy promises. After all, someone once said, to err is human. 

Regardless of your reason for cheating, it is only normal to feel regret and guilt, especially if your partner is someone you still love. You will find yourself tossing in bed, hoping he never gets to know that you cheated. 

The realization that a partner has been unfaithful is something not many can recover from, and perhaps, this is your fear. 

While it would be fair and morally right to let him know the truth, your reason for keeping it a secret could also be valid. But can a guy tell if you slept with someone else? Well, here are 13 ways your boyfriend might figure that out.

13 Ways Your Boyfriend Might Know You Cheated

1. If You’re unusually emotional

Even when you don’t get caught cheating, the guilt trips aren’t one you can avoid. So if you tear up easily or start sobbing but won’t explain why you’re sad, your boyfriend might suspect you did something bad. If you can’t control your emotions, he may see the guilt you’re trying to hide. 

2. You are overly nice

Guilt after cheating manifests itself in many ways, and one of those is when you start acting too nice. You see, we are all creatures of habit, and your boyfriend has an idea of the kind of person you are and what to expect from you. 

So, if he notices that you are trying to be more agreeable and sweet to him instead of what he is used to, he will suspect your motives and feel like you are trying to overcompensate for something.

People can pick up when someone is shady, so don't think your boyfriend is dumb and will not have a clue because you are suddenly calling him three times a day and initiating date nights.

3. Intimacy is suffering

It is true that in some ways, women are different in thinking than men. While men can juggle multiple relationships simultaneously, women often prefer to channel their emotions to one relationship at a time. 

This does not mean women are incapable of juggling relationships; we just choose to remain focused in that area. Your boyfriend will know you slept with another man if he feels neglected emotionally and sexually because your new romance has become the center of your emotions. 

Don’t think that he’ll easily buy the “I’m not in the mood” excuses, the more your guilt and emotions get to you, the more he’ll suspect you.

4. He catches you in a lie

There are good liars, and there are lousy liars. If you cheated with another guy, but you don't want your boyfriend to know, then the last thing you want to be is a lousy liar. 

As a horrible liar, it will be effortless for your boyfriend to find out what you did because your thoughts will be scattered, and it would be difficult for you to keep track of your lies.

If your boyfriend suspects that you are cheating, he might resolve to ask you the same questions multiple times and in different ways. He wants to see how consistent your responses will be. Ensure you maintain the same stories and narrate it with confidence until you are ready to tell him the truth.

5. Your mood swings

your mood swings

Our moods have a way of giving off how we feel deep down. So, if your boyfriend is the sensitive type who pays attention to your moods, he might find your new mood swings to be suspicious. 

When you’re guilty, you almost can’t control how you react to things. If you can’t take jokes or sarcasm anymore or get touchy by armless conversations he brings up, he’ll definitely suspect you.

Your mood swings may not directly make him think you’re seeing another man, however, depending on the subjects or jokes that get to you, he may deduce his suspicions from there.

6. You are overprotective of your phone

In this modern age and time, our phones have become an extension of our arms, which automatically means it is a part of our daily lives. If you desire to know what a person has been up to, it is only normal that their phone will be the first place to check. 

Therefore, if you are overprotective of your phone, and you panic each time your boyfriend holds onto it for too long, your actions will trigger red flags in the mind of your boyfriend. He will know that you are hiding something. 

Your best bet at staying at ease is to ensure that you delete all messages with this other guy, so you don't have to panic whenever your boyfriend picks it.

7. Social media

Social media is one way your boyfriend can know when things are fishy, especially if it is a mutual friend or a regular guy he knows. Social media has a way of revealing fragments of our lives to people we do not know. So, your boyfriend may come across a picture of you on social media in a compromising position or with someone you claim not to know.

Plus, all those tags people put on pictures could be really implicating, because if your boyfriend does his research well, he’ll figure out where you were and who you were with on a particular day.

Even though you tried to be careful and didn’t take pictures with him, another person may have taken a picture with you and the guy in it. That simple mistake could cost you your relationship.

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8. Someone told him

There are two ways to safeguard your secret; either you speak to no one about it, or share the secret with someone and get them to disappear. This does not mean no one can be trusted; however, my point here is that you can never be a hundred percent sure that the person who you are telling your secret does not have loose lips. 

The person who gets to tell your boyfriend that you are cheating could be anyone; it may be your best friend or your cheating partner himself. You already feel bad about cheating, and you know there is nothing you can do about it. 

You might want to believe that your cheating partner won’t stab you in the back, but you can’t control that. He might decide to brag about it or go further and tell your boyfriend out of spite.

9. He saw receipts

Just like social media posts and pictures, receipts always have a secret to reveal. That secret might just be one where you visited a restaurant and paid for an expensive dinner for two on a night when you should have been with your sick friend at the hospital. 

That's right; that little piece of paper you innocently thrashed in the bin or forgot in your jacket can be the clue your boyfriend needs to figure out that you are seeing another guy. So, if you are not ready for your boyfriend to find out your dirty secret, make sure you properly dispose of all receipts from your forbidden adventures before coming home.

10. You avoid his friends and family

you avoid his friends and family

A suspicious boyfriend will question everything and examine your every act. If you are a social bird, but suddenly you are always unwilling to follow him to family events or gatherings where his friends will be present, it will provoke thoughts in his mind and make him ask questions. He will want to know who you are avoiding. 

Cheaters tend to avoid their partner's family and friends because they feel guilty about what they did, and being around their friends and family only makes it worse.

11. You are acting differently

You may be acting differently around your partner without a clue, and this is a red flag to him. You still love him, get him breakfast in bed, and all the sweet things that come with being in a loving relationship. But once you start acting differently, it means there is something off and suspicious about you, even if your new actions are not wrong.

Perhaps, you have picked up a new habit or interest like hiking, playing an instrument, or listening to Jazz. Your boyfriend knows you never enjoyed doing any of those things, and your sudden love for yoga may be a way to escape your reality. 

You may feel you’re acting normal, but any sudden interests you take up after cheating may just be the thing to implicate you.

12. He caught you while cheating

When we are with someone who stays in the same city as us, we will likely take them to the same places we regularly visit, like the coffee shop or movie theater, and that's probably where your boyfriend saw you. 

Unfortunately, when you have been caught in the act of seeing someone else, there is not much that can be done to salvage the situation. In this case, it's not about what you say or what you do. Your boyfriend's suspicions (if any) have been confirmed, and now he knows that you have slept with someone else.

13. You can’t face him

The best way your boyfriend can know if you have slept with someone else is if you can’t look him in the face. He’ll keep wondering why you keep avoiding his gaze, and maybe even during sex, the vibe he used to get from you has changed. You can’t look him in the eyes because you feel your emotions will betray you

So now, during a conversation, you prefer to act like you’re busy so you don’t have to look at him. He may not say anything, but he may suspect that there’s someone else. You could decide to let him know and get over with it because the facade won’t cover you for very long. 

It might seem scary because he will be hurt and could choose to end your relationship. However, it is the right thing to do. The truth should come from you rather than someone else, plus, telling your boyfriend the truth also relieves you of your guilt and buckets of lies you told to keep up with your secret.


How do I know if she slept with someone else?

While you can't control people's commitment and honesty, you mustn't let your quest for the truth turn you into someone you are not proud of. In this vein, do not go around stalking or snooping through your partner's phone. Instead, if you feel it in your gut that your partner has been unfaithful, build up the courage to ask them.

Can you love someone and still sleep with someone else?

Yes, it is possible to sleep with another person while still in love with your boyfriend. Relationships sometimes experience rough patches, and things might get boring, so you probably cheated because you want something exciting again. This does not mean the solution to a boring relationship is cheating, there should be discipline, trust, and commitment in every relationship.

Should I tell my boyfriend I slept with his friend before? 

Being in love with someone does not mean you have to talk about all the things in your past. However, there are certain exceptions to this rule, for instance, a situation where you have slept with your boyfriend's friend. While it shouldn't matter as it probably happened before you and your boyfriend were in a relationship, it is only fair that he knows, and you start your relationship on a clean note.

How do you tell if he is texting another girl?

You can always know when a man has another girl he messages by how he guards his phone. He does not want you to hold it, and he is always acting sneaky when typing. For instance, he may be typing on his phone when you sit beside him, and he will immediately turn off his phone's screen or move away. These are clear signs that he is texting another girl.

What is a red flag in a relationship?

Relationship red flags can show up in many ways, and some of those ways include the following; if your boyfriend is controlling, he does not care about your feelings, he is secretive, and you know very little about his family, friends, and past. Not all red flags turn out to be bad, but they are merely warning signs that something is off about a person.

In Conclusion

We all make mistakes that we regret, even if it is sleeping with someone else while still in a loving relationship. However, honesty is an excellent step to redeem yourself of the guilt but remember to come clean at your own time. I hope you enjoyed reading this list, and I look forward to hearing from you in the comment section. Also, don't forget to share this article with your friends and family.

Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes?
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April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

One comment on “Can My Boyfriend Tell If I Slept With Someone Else? (13 Ways He Can Tell)”

  1. I'm sorry but it's easier to have an open relationship, go poly, or move on. I know I'm a massive man slut, which women are cheaters in any room, and jealous/mate-guarding drama pisses me off. In my twisted mind, it's the deceptive breaking of agreements that's the problem with cheating, not the sex. Monogamy seems quaint to me, and although it would be easy to lie about it, being honest and trustworthy with compatible people is less work and more fulfilling.

    I can't get past when a woman wants to examine my zipper to figure out if she wants to stay in her current relationship or not. She'll remain a side girl. Maybe a second girl in a poly relationship because I need someone I can trust.

    14. Overly affectionate/sexual out of nowhere.

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