Is Having Breakup Sex A Good Idea? (7 Harmful Reasons)

Last updated on June 12, 2022 by April Maccario

There’s no doubt about it breakup sex can be sizzling hot; in fact, some people say it’s the best sex ever! However, it can also cause quite a sticky situation for the two of you. While one of you is thinking that this physical act means love, the other person is just in it for the sexual connection. Make sure you aren’t receiving the short end of the deal!

Can break up sex ever be a good thing? Well, it’s nice to have one last goodbye before you depart from each other forever. Plus, it is exciting!

You probably both have an emotional connection to one another because you were in a relationship together. That doesn’t fade away overnight. Even if you don’t have an emotional connection, you still probably have a physical connection. For this reason, breakup sex can be a nice ending to your love saga!

Just be careful you aren’t causing yourself more harm than good. In this article, we’ll look at the different ways that it’s not a good reason to have breakup sex and a few reasons why it might be okay. If you’ve already done it, don’t kick yourself in the head! It happens! 

When Is Having Breakup Sex A Good Idea?

According to Women’s Health, the only time having breakup sex is a good idea is when it helps you realize that the spark is truly gone, which should help you as you move on with your life. 

It may be the perfect ending to a long term relationship. In reality, sex will rarely help the two of you get back together, but it can feel good in the moment. Breakup sex can be pretty steamy!

Why Shouldn’t I Have Breakup Sex?

1. Sex can cause you to go through an emotional rollercoaster 

It’s hard to have sex with someone you loved because you still probably feel that deep connection with them. You may be thinking that sexual intercourse can bring the two of you back together when, in reality, you are just being led on. You may have confusing thoughts, thinking, “Does he want to be with me or not?”

2. The feelings you experience during sex rarely last

The feelings you experience during sex rarely last

You may feel that having breakup sex may bring the two of you together again, but that rarely is how it goes down. When you realize this fact, you may feel quite used and embarrassed that you allowed yourself to be put in that situation. So, understand what truly happened with your ex, and give yourself a chance to grieve - away from him.

3. Sex may prevent you from moving on 

Instead of taking time alone to work on your goals, if you are spending time with your ex in bed, you are not doing yourself any favors. You can’t move on from a relationship if you are stuck in a toxic situation. Find a way to move on and heal. 

4. Sex may cause you to have an unhealthy attachment to your ex

You and your ex may have different expectations when it comes to sex after the end of your relationship. He may crave the sexual intimacy and the fun of the experience while you are hoping it will bring you together again. Realize the pain you are feeling and understand that he may not be feeling the same thing you are. 

5. Sleeping with your ex may cause you to feel even more upset

Going through a loss is a tough thing, especially if you thought he was “the one.” Your feelings may be all over the place. If you find sex with your ex to be comfortable or soothing, you aren’t facing the truth. The two of you have broken up with one another for a reason (or more than one reason). Take this time to realize what happened.

6. Sex with your ex may damage your self-esteem

You may find the feeling of rejection after each time you make love with your ex. No one wants to be with someone who doesn’t want them back. You are better off by yourself than you are being with a person who doesn’t love and respect you. Find a way to have satisfaction alone instead of with your ex. This way, you can heal effectively.

7. Sex can cause you and your ex to continue having a toxic relationship 

Sex can cause you and your ex to continue having a toxic relationship

If you continue to have sex with your ex, you may easily find the lines in this new relationship to be blurry. You’ll find it easy to stay in the toxic relationship, but boundaries may become quite unclear. You are better off dealing with the breakup head-on and facing the rejection you may be feeling rather than waiting for him to come around.

What If You Have Already Had Breakup Sex?

It’s okay if you had sex one last time before moving on with your life. We all do things that are not in our best interest; often, we don’t realize we are making mistakes when we take action, especially when it comes to our love lives. There’s always the possibility that it wasn’t a mistake if you both realize that you should get back together. 

That’s not a likely outcome, though. Rarely do couples get back together after having sex. It tends to cloud the judgment and feelings that you have for your ex. It’s probably a good idea to forgo sexual intercourse with your ex until you are sure of his feelings for you. No one enjoys feeling the pain of a breakup, and breakup sex may cause you to relive the pain.

Instead, try keeping your distance from your ex for a few months. Specifically, about three months should give you time to work on yourself. Sometimes the best course of action during a breakup is walking away. Let him see you leave one last time; give him time to miss you. Focus on the healing process, and find a new purpose to focus your energy on. 


Is breakup sex a good idea?

It can be a decent idea if you have the same feelings for one another; when the breakup is amicable, sex can be a good outlet to blow off some steam and find closure. It’s a nice end to the relationship if neither partner is upset over the breakup.

Does sleeping with someone after a breakup help?

Usually have sex after a breakup is a bad idea because it prevents you from healing properly and moving on. During the arousal state of sex, you may get mixed feelings for your ex or from your ex. Sex can be quite misleading.

Why do guys sleep with someone after a breakup?

Many times, guys want to have breakup sex because they still feel a connection with their ex. When you are close to someone, those feelings don’t just turn off like a faucet. Instead, you still have that bond that you did when you were together.

Is it okay to have sex with your ex?

It’s not the best idea, especially if you were the one who was broken up with. You won’t be able to effectively go through the stages of grief for the relationship you just got out of. The stages of grief include denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance.

Can exes fall back in love?

Of course, exes can fall back in love. However, this is not usually possible through the use of breakup sex. Instead, take the time to heal yourself on your own without having contact with your ex. Only then can you see about getting back together with your ex.

To Sum Things Up…

What are your feelings about breakup sex? Do you think it’s a smart idea to sleep with your ex?

In this article, we’ve covered the many reasons why breakup sex is a bad idea. Please share your comments below. We’d love to hear from you!

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April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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